7. DID I HEAR RIGHT? – THE LIES OF A SO-CALLED RELATIONSHIP CONSULTANT
Some hours ago, I stumbled upon a YouTube video by a man claiming to be an expert in relationships and with a Consultancy business in which people booked sessions to seek his advice and help. He had quite a large following and the video was entitled: ‘Lose weight and get a husband?’
Intrigued by the title because it was so brazen, I clicked on the video and could not believe what I was hearing. It was disturbing at best. I skipped through portions of it as I could not stomach all that was being said and how it was being said and then, realizing that the same man had several other YouTube videos up with similarly provocative titles, I clicked on about two (2) more and was increasingly flabbergasted. The additional videos I clicked on were entitled, ‘Is Your Weight Keeping You Single?’ and ‘You’re Average At Best’.
This man represents the epitome of what I abhor in some men. He has many of the characteristics that I absolutely cannot stand or put up with, ego and arrogance being at the very top of them. I considered writing an Article to address the nonsense I heard in these three (3) videos but then thought against it. I was so disgusted with the venom that had come out of this man, that the thought of having to write about it and him, made me more disgusted.
Nevertheless, given the damage he was spewing all over YouTube and probably other forums, the extent of the people all over the world listening to his foolish teachings and the poor, vulnerable, desperate-minded women whose condition of singleness, he was exploiting, I prayed about whether I should write about it or not and about half an hour later, I found myself jotting points down of the things that I had observed and found extremely disturbing and distasteful.
As you read what I have written below, you may find my tone stern. Admittedly, I don’t think I have ever written about any person or situation in such harsh terms before but trust me, this man’s behavior warrants it. If you have the misfortune of looking up any of the videos I mentioned above or pretty much any more of the garbage he has online, you will understand.
Just to point out, I felt in no way slighted by this man’s comments in any way because I know my worth in Jesus Christ, have resolved to wait on God for a quality gentleman of his choosing and have learned through God-given discernment, to spot the devil’s lies and reject it. However, I feel it for the women out there, most of them not Christians and therefore having no sense of what is true from what is a lie and how easy it is for them to believe this man’s lies, especially when they want to get married so badly.
Having said that, after listening to snippets of the three (3) videos I mentioned above and what this man had to say, I conclude that his teachings are founded on blatant untruths and are therefore clearly, the work of satan.
In particular, the following are my observations and opinions:
1. He does not base his teachings on the Word of God which is the only authority there is but based on his own opinion, ideas and questionable intelligence, which he presents as fact in every case.
In his pride, this man therefore makes himself God, goes completely against the Bible’s teachings (which he generally ignores and remains silent on as if it does not exist) and speaks lies. He is quick to tell women that they need to see a therapist whenever they disagree with his point of view or are simply trying to explain to him how they’re thinking but he never refers them to the Word of God which contains the greatest therapist and physician of all, the solution to all their problems, the Lord Jesus Christ.
2. He exploits single or unmarried women by playing on their normal insecurities, anxiety and worry because they want to get married and good men willing to commit, seem not to be in sight. He uses this to lure and attract them to his videos and business, calculatingly choosing titles for his videos that will make them click.
3. He speaks down at women is dismissive, cuts them when they talk, accuses them of being disagreeable and needing to see a therapist whenever they try to get their point across, as is typical in a normal conversation between two people. He is arrogant, blunt, rude, harsh, condescending to them, impatient, cannot reason, aggressive and deluded into thinking that he is an authority on relationships. He obviously has some deep-seated issues with women, who he seems to take pleasure and delight in insulting, putting down and using expletives at, when talking to them. The aim is obviously to take them down a peg or two and to make them leave questioning themselves, their worth and to think lesser of their value and self-confidence. In short, he does not build up or edify. He breaks down.
4. He is clearly discriminatory, thinks that he and men in general are superior to women and sexist in his agenda. While feminism is not at all good, this man uses this fact as an excuse to embrace sexism which is another evil, on the other end of the spectrum. He is chauvinistic, prejudiced against women, downplays their value to the point of oblivion and seeks to get women to believe that this is a man’s world and the woman’s only relevance is to him.
He therefore uses a tactic of satan, deployed throughout the centuries, where he takes some truths and twists it into a lie for wicked purposes. That is, the Bible makes it clear that the man was first formed, that the woman came out of the man, that the man is to lead the home and the Church, that a woman is to submit to the God-given authority of her husband and male leadership and that the woman was created for the man, to be a help meet unto him and not the other way around. This calling is to be embraced by women seeking to serve God.
However, this man uses these truths and twists them into something ugly, so as to create a lie. He tries to convince women that they are not as significant as men (which the Bible does not teach), that they exist to be whatever the man wants them to be (even if what he wants is skewed) and that they have no value outside of the man. He tries to convince them that they have no say as to who to marry and should not even be thinking of things like what they would like in a man, their standards, their values, their own happiness and their worth. He tries to convince them that they should just settle for whatever a man is and dishes out and not see themselves as prizes to be pursued after, wooed and won by men.
This is undoubtedly the devil at work, trying to distort God’s truth and using this man to spread his lying message. For, the Bible clearly teaches that, although men and women have been given different functions and the man is to lead, he is not more important or more valuable than the woman. In fact, the Bible makes it clear that a man’s prayers will not be answered by God if he does not treat his wife (a woman) well. It also tells men that they should treat women with honour, handle them with care (given that men have been made physically stronger) and love them as much as their own selves, to the point where they should be prepared to die for them if need be.
1 Peter 3:7 states: “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
Ephesians 5:25 -31 states:
- “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church”
Sexism exists where a person or group of one gender is prejudiced or discriminatory against the other gender, solely because of their gender. It is usually a label ascribed to some men, where they behave in such a manner towards women. Chauvinism similarly exists where a person displays excessive or prejudiced support in favour of his own male cause, while downplaying or completely ignoring the cause of women.
Contrary to what the Bible teaches, this man is clearly chauvinist and pursues a sexist agenda, to make men look good and glorified on the one hand and women ashamed of themselves and devalued on the other.
He comes across as a man scorned somewhere in his past by women and he is now seeking vengeance, under the guise of a relationship Consultancy business.
4. He foolishly bases a man’s value on how much money he has or earns (and nothing else) which is completely against scripture. Luke 12:15 of God’s Word, clearly states, “Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.” Yet, this man believes and tries to get women to believe as well, that the substance of a man lies in the depth of his pockets. What tomfoolery!
5. He gives women the impression that they need to purse after these men that he calls ‘high value men’, not meaning men of character who know Jesus Christ as Saviour and love his Word but those who make lots of money. In his folly, he and his many gullible followers fail to realize, that (1) a person’s value is not at all based on his bank account, (2) that every person was created as equally valuable in God’s sight (having been made in His image and likeness) and (3) that having a lot of money does not make someone increase in value nor does it mean that that person is a high quality man, a good person or worthy of being marriage material.
6. He attributes most single black women’s singleness, unmarried state and not yet being approached by a guy, on them being overweight and not having a certain look. Whenever they call in therefore, one of the first questions he asks them is their weight, height and dress size and based on that, if he realizes that they are overweight, he tells them that this is the cause.
While it is an established fact that men are physical creatures and that women should try to keep themselves looking their best, healthy and attractive, this man blames the caller’s current singleness, not attracting what he calls ‘a high value man’ and being unmarried, solely on the caller’s weight. He therefore bases happily ever after on two factors: money of the man and slimness of the woman.
He clearly has not been looking at the celebrity world, where the slimmest, most pretty and physically attractive women hardly ever seem to be able to get a man to commit, to be faithful and to stick around. Despite their jaw-dropping good looks, seemingly perfect bodies and health consciousness, the men still leave them, act up within the relationship and divorce and break ups are ever rampant. Clearly, such a shallow outlook does not build happy and sustainable marriages.
7. He further teaches that to get a man who makes a lot of money (the man he calls a ‘high value’ man and who he assumes that every woman wants really badly), those women have to be slim and look good.
8. He basically tells women that they are beyond hope in attracting these ‘high value’ men, if they are in their thirties, have a child already by another man or are not slim. So hopeless are they, according to him, that he puts his proverbial foot down, letting them know that they should not even entertain the possibility that such a man would ever look their way with interest for marriage but should accept a man of lower value (meaning not monied).
9. He makes getting a man formulaic and gives the impression that this is entirely within a woman’s control. He gives the impression that these so-called ‘high value’ men are looking for perfection and that they deserve it, simply because of the amount of money they make. Seriously, what this man believes and teaches is so ridiculous and asinine, that I’m still in shock I happened across the trash he is circulating on the internet and find it funny that he calls himself an expert Consultant. Believe it or not, he also lets a woman know, that unless she is perfect physically in size, looks and in terms of what these men want, she will never stand a chance of getting one of them. They will never ever want her because according to him, they have options and want the best.
10. He discourages women and from his tone and harsh words, aims to make them feel bad about themselves, more insecure, unsure, not good enough, that they are at fault for being single or not finding the men they would like and tells them that they need to do things to measure up because they have not tried hard enough. Whenever a woman tells him that she does not have a man and is not married, he then conducts a line of questioning to find some fault with her and pretty much blames her for her singleness.
11. At no point does he acknowledge that God is in control, that HE can bring about a high quality relationship between two people whenever he sees fit, that he has done it in the past and continues to do it, despite age, looks, weight, so-called imperfections and whether a party has a child or not.
12. He throws in a verse or mentions God and Jesus rarely here and there, so as to catch professing believers and the religious, in his web of lies and make people think that he is a Christian but by his fruits, he clearly is not. He is a son of Belial and a messenger of satan. It is clear from his words (including expletives), his disdain for women and how he speaks the opposite of what the Bible teaches, that he is not a genuine Christian and definitely does not have God’s spirit of truth in him but the spirit of error. He therefore teaches a doctrine that he has received from devils.
1 Timothy 4:1 makes it clear: “Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils.”
1 John 4:6 states of believers though: “We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error.”
Whatever God calls truth, this man ignores and instead, embraces lies. As stated before, he also never points these women to the foundation which is Jesus Christ (who can save their souls which are precious and valuable and who can help them find worth in him and provide them with a quality spouse if this is in his will). He never points them to Jesus Christ, the Light, who is much better than having a husband because he himself has not yet found him. He is still engulfed in the devil’s darkness. It is a typical case of the blind leading the blind and so, both will fall into the ditch.
In Luke 6:39, Jesus asked, “…Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch?”
13. He had the nerve to tell a woman who said that she was a virgin and was having problems with keeping a guy interested, that this was the problem and that she needed to lower her standards. Yes, he actually told her she needed to lower her standards! Apart from how diabolical that advice was he encouraged sex outside of marriage which God has labelled as sexual immorality and sin. Whereas God values virginity and tells both men and women that they should keep their vessels in honour, this man encourages women to have sex to men that they are not married to. He also advised another woman that, based on what she wanted, she would need to wait for a man that was divorced and was looking for a second marriage, as only such a man would be at the income level she was interested in. He told her this, although the Word of God makes it clear that a person who marries someone that is divorced is an adulterer/adulteress.
To say that this sorry excuse for a man is obscene is an understatement. I pray for his salvation (which he is in dire need of) and that all the garbage he has placed on YouTube (there are several videos and sadly, thousands of followers), would be removed.
14. He gives women the impression that their sole value is to please men and makes them feel that they have none themselves. He bases most of his teachings around this mythical ‘high value’ monied man but never speaks of a high value woman, who men need to work for. It comes across as if he sees the ‘value’ as only one-sided and vested in men and women are like the peasants that must beg and do all within their power to be noticed by one of them.
In fact, in a fourth video that I clicked on briefly after writing this Article, after women wrote in asking that he talk about what makes a high value woman (because he keeps talking about the high value man), only then, so as to appease them, did he mention, that he would do a video on the high value woman. The very concept of a high value woman, does not seem to have even arisen in his mind until that point, that there was such a thing. Even if he did eventually do the video therefore, we are not fooled. We already know how he really feels. He does not consider women valuable, only men with deep pockets.
He never tells women that their Creator considers a virtuous woman’s value to be far above the cost of rubies, which is extremely expensive. He doesn’t tell her that she has in-built value as a human being, a woman and if a Christian, even moreso and that it is the man’s job to pursue after her, given all that God has equipped her to offer.
He completely fails to mention how hard Jacob worked for the hand of Rachel who he loved or how dignified Rebekah was treated when a wife was being sought for Isaac, her even being asked whether she would accept him or not. He does not mention that women are precious and that men should treat them with utter respect or that Jesus called upon men to love their wives to the point where they would be willing to sacrifice their own lives for their sake.
No. He mentions none of that. He simply gives the impression that men are the ones with value (based on their pockets) and women must do everything they can to try to get one.
15. Listening to his arrogance, I knew that he was bound to not attract a woman of substance, not even by worldly standards and that he would not be able to have a successful relationship, ever. For, his attitude was rude, condescending, demeaning and disrespectful toward women. Hence, I was not surprised to subsequently learn, that he had been married and divorced twice. Like, which woman on the face of this planet would put up with such a man! Yet, he wants to give women advice and claims to be a relationship guru, although he is a failure when it comes to marriages. Also, in remarrying while his first spouse remained alive, he is an adulterer, according to God’s Word and needs to repent.
16. Him placing so much emphasis on money and regarding a man with lots of money as ‘a high value man’, reveals that he loves money, is shallow and not at all wise. He does not address issues like the man’s character for example and that a man could have lots of money and be a complete jerk. He is a case in point.
He also assumes that everybody thinks the foolish way he thinks and rates a man’s value based on the depth of his pockets. This is obviously all that he has got (money) and so, it is apparently his way of deluding himself into thinking that he is a man of high value, when it is obvious to any smart woman, that he is not.
Truth be told, with all his money, he would not begin to attract a woman of worth, who knows her value in the Lord and has dignity. He would not even be given a chance because not only is he a man of the world (ungodly), he lacks wisdom and his character stinks.
Having only listened to snippets of three (3) videos from this man and realizing that he has many more on YouTube and in other places, I am sure that he has uttered a great deal more garbage and lies, which if I was to go through all and address here, I would most likely find 100 more points to write about and lies to expose. However, I cannot bring myself to lend my ear to anymore of this man’s filth, so I will stick with my commentary on the three (3) videos alone here.
Needless to say, I expect this man, his lies and his foolish teachings to be vehemently rejected by any person who claims to know Jesus Christ, his love, his Word and to have the Spirit of Christ within them.
If there is any woman however, who, whether a believer or not, wants to know how to rate this man’s teachings and whether any reliance can be placed on what he says, the answer is a resounding NO. The Word of God exposes him for who he really is and whose agenda he is about.
Remember, any man that teaches anything that contradicts or undermines the authority of the Word of God is a fool and his teachings that follow are likewise foolish. He enables us to better understand Romans 1:22 where it reads of ungodly men, “Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools…”
This man claims to have attended Church in his past and to have served in some Singles group but he is not of God! He is under the control of the devil and is fulfilling his agenda, not the Lord’s.
God wants women to know that they are valuable and to embrace how special they are but the devil is using this man to try to make women feel bad about themselves, worthless, of no value and insecure. He tries to convince them that this is a man’s world, when in truth and in fact, it is a world comprising of both men and women, both of whom are of equal importance in God’s sight.
In fact, this is why Jesus came down from heaven all those years ago and died a sacrificial death, not just for men but also for women.
When it comes to God’s free gift of salvation, it is offered to everyone (including males and females) and God desires to have a close relationship and fellowship with ALL of his creation which he considers equally valuable without discrimination. His Word states in Galatians 3:26-28 of those who believe on Jesus and accept him as Lord and Saviour:
- “For ye are ALL the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are ALL ONE in Christ Jesus.”
(Written on 04th July, 2021)
Dear Reader, if, like me, you are disgusted with this man’s atrocious lies, bad advice, disdainful attitude and arrogance and if you want to dwell instead on TRUTH as contained in God’s Word or you want to know your true worth, as God your Creator sees you, I recommend that you read the following:
- Note 2 – ‘Woman, You Have Worth!’
- Note 1 – ‘Virtue & Virtuosity – Needed At Such A Time As This!’
- Note 6 – ‘Seven (7) Key Traits Of A Virtuous Woman’
Additionally, under the ‘BIBLE-BELIEVING Daughters’ Page:
- Note 215 – ‘Relationship Advice Without The Word Of God?’
Also, under the ‘SINGLE Daughters’ Page:
- Note 312 -‘ How To Make A Man Love You’
Click as well on the ‘Single Daughters’ tab for a plethora of Articles for single women on a range of issues that are sure to be of benefit to you. The titles of these valuable Articles can be found in the TABLE OF CONTENTS (SINGLE DAUGHTERS) document.