326. WILL MY SINGLENESS EVER END?

(The Single Woman Series – Batch 5)

There are days when I am all bubbly and full of faith and other days when I feel down-in-the-dumps and sad, due to life’s circumstances. I don’t think that there is any human being that has lived long enough, who can say that they coast through life feeling great all of the time. There is no such thing as always being on cloud 9. Thankfully, for the Christian and as I have experienced, you are never allowed to stay in your wallowing mentality. God sends you his Word, reminds you of his faithfulness and fills your heart with his encouragement, so that your strength is renewed as the eagle’s and you press on.

On 16th September 2023, going through one of my down-in-the-dump moments, especially after viewing Facebook, I wrote:

I’m tired of watching all the seemingly wonderful things that unfold in other people’s lives while nothing ever really happens in mine. I’m not envious or unhappy about what’s happening for them. I’m excited for them, just sad that nothing ever really changes for the better in my life. Three (3) years, six (6) years, nine (9) years, twelve (12) years, every time they check, I’m still in the same place. I’m still stuck. I’m still single, still childless, still have money issues, still have no house, still waiting on transportation, still having family problems, still lonely, still the same old, same old.

People have lost interest in me. Sadly, there are times that I think I’ve lost interest in myself. I feel like the queen of pathetic, the poster child for who not to ever end up like – me.

On the day after Christmas, in the wee hours of the morning, feeling somewhat encouraged, I wrote:

Things that I dream of, I see people partaking of but the avenue they’ve used to reach there is sin. I admit it hurts, to have a heart’s desire for years but it remain unfulfilled and to see others experiencing what you long to experience – husband, children, family life and the like, when the door that they used to get there is sin.

This is especially at Christmas time, when you see some of them flaunting their “families”, the fruits of their labour, in lovely pictures on Facebook, while you remain quiet or are completely ignored because you’ve come to be known as the girl that never seems to move forward, to graduate, from singleness into a marriage and a family of your own.

You’ve come to be known as the long ranger, the girl who has never had that boy-proposes-to-girl and marries-her-experience, the girl who, year in and year out and for many years, uploads stuff to Facebook, most about God’s goodness and faithfulness but still, as a single woman.

Yet, despite the show of what seems like a happily ever after for these people, I am mindful of the fact that the door they have used may have led them to what seems like bliss but sin is deceitful. It will be their eventual downfall. No man or woman can build on untempered mortar and not suffer a calamitous fall. Whether it be manifested in this lifetime or not, undoutbtedly, there will be destruction. For nothing built on a foundation of sin, which is disobedience and rebellion to God’s Word the Bible, could ever be sustainable or ever lead to what is good. It is better that it had not been built, so dire are the consequences.

I know this but often times have to remind myself, when I feel the hurt of my unchanged situation.

Father in heaven, comfort my restless heart. Help me to be content in whatsoever state I am, as it is where you have me at this moment. Help me to wait on you, to trust your will for my life whatever that may look like and help me with the hurt I feel when hope is deferred, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

Later on in the day, my having had my fill of people’s Facebook family pictures and wonderful stories of holiday merriment, I found myself creating the following quote which I placed on my SINGLE DAUGHTERS OF GOD-HEPHZIBAH DIARIES Facebook Page, along with the write-up below the quote, which you will need to scroll down to read:

Ever so often, especially around this Christmas season, I need to remind myself of this. May it be an encouragement to you, single daughter of God. God’s will is always perfect and his timing, the best timing. He sees you, he knows how you feel and knows what he is doing.

The waiting may seem endless and sometimes, you may feel embarrassed in your seemingly never-ending single state. Truth be told, I have felt this way on many an occasion, especially at family and Church gatherings, where people have raised the issue of my ongoing singleness or given you “the look”, which tears your already fragile heart to pieces and makes you feel like a colossal failure.

Nevertheless, remember, God could change your story in an instant and if he decided to do so, what a glorious story that would be! When he decided to raise Lazarus from the dead, at a point where he was in his condition for four (4) days and stinking and therefore considered a lost cause and beyond hope, it created much a stir and the wonderful thing was that it redounded to God’s glory! People got saved through this story and who can tell, whether the Lord is planning something similar in your one day testimony?

If marriage for you is his will and you submit to his way, then he the Lord will make it happen but in his own way and timing. He does not need your help. If on the other hand, it is not his will or he has decided not to grant you this petition, then he will grace you with his peace that passeth all understanding, so that you will not just be able to bear your singleness but still glorify him through it.

Either way, whether you remain single (which is honourable) or get married (which is also honourable), you will be okay because the Lord is able to uphold you with the right hand of his righteousness.

(Written on 26th December, 2023)