279. DO YOU FEEL DISAPPOINTED BY GOD?

(The Faith Forum Series – Batch 4)

As a lonely thirty eight (38) year old woman who had hoped and even expected as a young girl, to be married in my twenties to a lovely God-fearing Christian man, to have wonderful children (at least four) and a lovely little home where I could put my stamp of creativity on, I realized that life had not turned out the way I had desired or expected.

Here I was at thirty eight (38), almost thirty nine (39) and not a man in sight, no children, no house, too many tears over the years to mention, creeping wrinkles and one too many grey hairs for my liking and comfort.

While reflecting on this, somehow, a book that had been sitting patiently on my shelf for many years, which I had never taken the time to read, caught my attention. I therefore scooped it up on my way to work.

It was called ‘Disappointment With God’ and as I began to read, I could not help but say declaratively in response to something I saw written within the pages of the book, that no matter what, God is awesome.

I say this truthfully, although I am hurting. For, this has been my experience, even when things have not worked out the way I would have liked them to. Even in my worst moments when my heart is broken and I am weary, confused, overwhelmed and sad, God still impresses me with his awesomeness.

He has loved me so much that he has even stooped down on some occasions, to take the time to explain to me after I went through a particular turmoil, why I went through that, what I did wrong (so that I can repent), why that situation went the way it did and why my hope of a relationship with a particular someone did not work out.

Even in those times when he chose, in his wisdom, to be silent (as it is within his prerogative to do, as God), he has still reached down from heaven and comforted me with such wonderful comfort when I was in pain or just filled me with his peace, in a way in which it passed and defied all understanding.

I therefore concluded there and then, that no matter what the book before me may say, no matter what it was entitled, based on my own relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, God does not disappoint, although in life, you may sometimes feel disappointed.

There is a difference. God never disappoints but sometimes, life does because it does not turn out how we had expected, liked or anticipated.

Why then do people who claim to be Christians, say that God disappointed them?

I thought on this question for a short moment and then five (5) reasons came to mind.

If you claim to know Jesus Christ, to be walking with him but yet you also claim to have been disappointed by God, not life, this, in my view is due to one (1) or more of the following reasons:

REASON 1 – Maybe false teachers, pastors and prophets have filled your mind with false expectations and grandiose assurances, that all of your selfish desires and lusts will be met by a god of their vain imagination, which they created.

This god of their imagination is not the true God of the scriptures but is more like a genie, existing only to give out presents to mankind and to serve them.

On the other hand, Jesus, the true God of the scriptures, expects us to serve Him (not the other way around) and he told us honestly in his Word, from the get-go, that in following him, we should expect SUFFERING and should therefore consider the cost before we sign up (so-to-speak) to follow him.

He said things like:

• “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)

• “And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him, Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish. Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace. So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:27-33)

• “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye SHALL have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome.” (John 16:33)

Jesus made it clear that Christianity was not a bed of roses and that we would have tribulation in this world. He also told us that we would be expected to honourably and SACRIFICIALLY serve Him (not him serve us), yet you chose to disregard all this and to listen to the false idea, of Christianity being a vehicle to advance your own selfish purposes and to bring you promotion and blessing and all of life’s comforts, as has been perpetuated by false teachers, pastors and prophets.

You chose to believe that God was like the fictitious santa claus, that exists to dish out presents to us and serve us and give us what we want (as if we are gods) and you are pouting because you did not receive the presents that false teachers and preachers made you feel you were entitled to receive from God.

Yet, the true God of the scriptures tells us about SUFFERING and SACRIFICE.

The truth is all you are entitled to as a sinful human being is the wrath of God and hell. However, God, in his mercy, has made provision for your soul, through the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving you the privilege of being in relationship with him and a partaker of an eternal inheritance in heaven, if you believe on Jesus and confess him as Lord. We are not entitled to any good thing from the Lord, which is why if he chooses to do any good thing for us, we should be thankful, grateful and humble. If he chooses not to give us anything else after we have received his free gift of salvation, we should be satisfied and content (even if we are hoping in his mercy and praying for more), for we have already gotten much more than we deserved.

If you have gotten caught up with the false teaching that sees God as just there to serve you and bring you good things in life or you have forgotten that serving Christ calls for suffering and sacrifice, then before I move on to Reason 2 below, I invite you when you have the time, to read the following Notes:

• Note 26 – Musings From The Pit (Praise Your Way Out)
• Note 28 – The Fivefold Purpose of Suffering
• Note 29 – Facing Adversity? Go Through It!
• Note 88 – Ten Signs That That Speaker Or Teacher Is A Wolf Disguised In Sheep’s Clothing Or Operating Under The Devil’s Deception
• Note 108 – Pain – God’s Tool For Our Spiritual Development
• Note 134 – The Manipulative Woman
• Note 135 – Are You At A Low Point In Life And Feeling Depressed?
• Note 166 – Are You Serving The Real Jesus?
• Note 186 – The Pain I Felt In My Series Of Pit Experiences
• Note 298 – Arm Yourself: Suffering Is Part of The Christian’s Story

Additionally, under the ‘BIBLE-BELIEVING Daughters of God’ Page:

• Note 18 – Riches, Abundance, Breakthrough And Promotion – Lies From The Pit Of Hell
• Note 27 – You Cannot Command Your Morning Or Day
• Note 28 – Our Words Have Power – A Lie From The Pit Of Hell

REASON 2 – Maybe you are reaping for your own disobedience and rebellion.

God made it clear in his Word that certain consequences would flow if we disregarded his Word but you still disobeyed him and chose to rebel. You did things your way and hoped that you would be the exception to the general rule but you have found that God does not change his Word to please anyone.

If you have been disobedient and rebellious (like I have been at times), you are responsible for your own situation, not God. Even if you repented (like I did), he forgives but this does not exempt you necessarily from adverse consequences.

The fact is we live in a broken world full of sin and we are also broken people. This brokenness manifests itself time and time again in disappointing occurrences, as it has done since the day Adam and Eve decided to sin against God.

What I’ve realized is that many times when people who claim to know the Saviour, say they feel disappointed with Him, they look at whatever has happened to them from the surface, while refusing to look at the core.

Dig deeper. What is at the heart or root of your disappointment? Why did that situation really happen?

We have a tendency, as the Word of God tells us, to deceptively see ourselves as perfect, as having done nothing wrong, as not being all that bad and as being beacons of light, when in truth and in fact, we are not.

Proverbs 21:2 states, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the Lord pondereth the hearts.”

Be honest with God and with yourself. Could it be that your disappointment is rooted in your own envy, malice, bitterness, vindictiveness or non-forgiveness? Could it be because of your own folly, your own attitude of rebellion, pride and disobedience against God’s Word the Bible, throughout the years? Could it be because as a Christian, you have hurt people and you have hurt God but yet you have not truly repented for your wrongs and wickedness? How has your tongue been? Has it been submitted to the leading of the Holy Spirit or have you used it in ways that you know is displeasing to God and therefore, been rebellious?

Psalm 68:6 makes it clear: “God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.”

On the whole, many times, people who profess to be Christians, sin against God and break his covenant and then when the consequences come, they find it too difficult to bear and so, turn on God and say that he disappointed them. Yet, he did not. They disappointed themselves. He remained faithful but in their disobedience and folly, they sinned grievously against him.

He faithfully told them from the get-go, that the wages of sin is death and that in him is life and that when one moves away from him, one can only expect to inherit death, sterility and stagnancy. Yet, when these become a reality in the life of the disobedient (even those who have since repented but are still called upon to bear the consequences of their own actions), instead of pointing the finger at themselves as the cause of their troubles, they proudly and self-righteously point it at God and say that they are disappointed by him.

If you have a tendency to think this way and not to take responsibility for your own wrongdoing or to gloss over it as if it is not very important, before I move on to Reason 3 below, I invite you when you have the time, to read the following Notes:

• Note 42 – ‘When That Door Wouldn’t Budge’
• Note 43 – ‘Claiming The Promises Of God (Part One)’
• Note 44 – ‘Claiming The Promises of God (Part Two)’
• Note 45 – ‘I Know The Plans I Have For You’
• Note 46 – ‘The Sins Of The Tongue (External Author 1)’
• Note 47 – ‘The Sins Of The Tongue Reloaded (External Author 2)’
• Note 48 – ‘Taming the Tongue – What The Bible Says About Gossip’
• Note 49 – ‘Self-Inflicted Wounds’
• Note 105 – ‘Are You Putting Yourself In The Line Of Fire?’
• Note 106 – ‘Are Some Of God’s Children More Loved And Favoured Than Others?’
• Note 164 – ‘Seven (7) Mindsets That Will Keep You Stuck In The Land Of Sterility’
• Note 187 – ‘Could It Be That You Don’t Like Her Because…’
• Note 222 – ‘Suffering? Bad Attitudes That Will Only Make It Worse’
• Note 224 – ‘Symptoms Of A Person Outside The Favour Of God’
• Note 229 – ‘I Want To Be Blessed!’

REASON 3 – Maybe you are comparing and competing with others too much.

Remember what Jesus told Peter when, after Jesus gave him some insight into his future, he enquired as to what John the disciple would do?

Jesus told him, “If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? Follow me.” That was the Lord’s way of telling Peter to mind his own business, stay in his own lane and focus on Him.

If you get in your own lane instead of constantly peering into that of others, if you focus ahead and live out your God-given purpose, there will be less room for disappointment.

In this day of social media, where everyone is so connected to everyone online, which then enables everyone to constantly monitor what is going on in the lives of others, it is no wonder that disappointment is so rife.

As I have always said, everybody’s journey is different. We were born at different times, have different life spans, we look different, have different gifts, abilities and talents, different personalities and God gives us different stories and assignments. When you spend time monitoring what ‘looks’ like progress in the lives of others, this derails you from your own purpose and stagnates you in a state of depression because you entertain feelings of inadequacy, failure, envy and bitterness, when your yardstick doesn’t seem to measure up.

Instead of acknowledging that you are off-track because you have wasted too much time meddling in the business of others while not investing enough in yours, you now wrongly accuse God of disappointing you, when in truth and in fact, you have disappointed yourself.

If comparison, monitoring and meddling in the affairs of others are areas that you are guilty of, before I move on to Reason 4, I invite you when you have the time, to read the following Notes:

• Note 57 – ‘Comparison And Competition’
• Note 175 – ‘I’ve Got No Time To Mind Anybody’s Business’

REASON 4 – Maybe there is a stronghold of self operating in your life.

This needs to be broken. The idol of self manifests itself in different forms in different people and for some, it gives them a false view of life, as they go through it thinking that everyone, including God is there to serve them, meet their every need and pat them on the back.

The idol of self says: “God is not on the throne. I am. I am not here to serve Him. He exists to serve me.” The stronghold of self then forms fictitious expectations, seeing religion as nothing more than a tool to manipulate God to get what self wants and Jesus, not as Lord but as some kind of magical formula to apply or tap into, which yields the results that self desires.

False teachings and prophesies feed this stronghold of self and therefore, persons with this stronghold pursue after false teachers and prophets who will tell them what they want to hear because they have what the Bible describes as itching ears. They do not want the truth, which is that we as human beings are here to serve God as humble servants but embrace the lie, that God exists to serve them.

Persons with this stronghold tend to look at the gap between where they are in life and where they expected to be and feel entitled to say: “I am supposed to be across there, not here. I do not deserve this.” Then, they build up resentment against God or their idea of God, convinced that he is the one that has unreasonably withheld these ‘good’ things from them and restrained them from moving forward to where they ought to be.

If you are battling with too much self-love, self-devotion, self-exaltation, self-obsession, self-importance, self-entitlement or any other grandiose form of self-focus, I invite you when you have the time, to read the following Notes:

• Note 286 – ‘The Stronghold Of Self’
• Note 291 – ‘Can A Narcissist Be A Christian?’

REASON 5 – Maybe something is wrong with your faith.

Somehow, you may have been deceived into thinking that you are a Christian, when you are not because you lack enduring faith.

This is an opportunity for you to examine yourself whether you are really in the faith and you should feel free to ask God to guide you to a truthful self-assessment. If you do not truly believe in your heart that Jesus Christ who is Lord, rose from the dead on the third day and you have only confessed him as Lord with the lips and warmed your Church seat with regular attendances, you are not a Christian. If you are not sorry for your sins (anything that God hates) but love them, enjoy them, relish and continue on in them without conviction and repentance, then you are not a Christian. If you claim to love and know Jesus but you hate his Word (the Bible) and some of the things that are contained in it, then you are not a Christian. No matter how difficult a portion of scripture makes a rebellious Christian feel, he or she knows that God’s Word is the ultimate authority, life and truth and therefore, despite how painful it might be, the Christian’s life MUST be brought in alignment with it and the Christian MUST submit to it.

Ask God to give you a believing heart that embraces truth and rejects all lies and to remove all doubt from your mind. Truly surrender your heart and life to Jesus as Lord and stop going through the motions of Church. Even if you look like a Christian and do things that Christians do, you can’t fool God. He knows those that are his. If you don’t have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, then you are not a Christian.

Romans 8:9-10 makes it clear that: “…if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.”

If you don’t have the Spirit of Christ within you and are therefore not a true Christian but merely religious, then when adversities come and sufferings come, it is natural for your flesh to blame God because you have never been spiritually regenerated.

This does not mean that a genuine Christian will never have bouts of sadness because of difficulties that they face. David had his down moments and so did Elijah and Job. However, when you feeling sad is ongoing, you have no joy and you get to the point where you say that you have been disappointed by God, that is a whole other matter. That is an indication that you may never have truly been saved.

For, when you have genuine faith in Jesus Christ and the Spirit of God lives in you, when trials come, even when you have not a clue what is going on and have the moments when you feel down in the dumps, your faith and trust in Jesus usually kick in and you find that you are still able to rejoice in him and praise him.

To cite an example, a few years ago, after going through prolonged unemployment despite my best efforts to find work, God opened a door for me and I entered, confident that this was his will. About a few days in, I began to face so many venomous and diabolical attacks from people in that place, that I was in shock for weeks. I couldn’t reconcile why God had directed me to that job (which I had moved to another island for), when he knew that this was what it entailed.

However, in the midst of my confusion and pain and as insults and false accusations kept being hurled at me, I did not feel disappointed with God. I had a good cry privately, yes. I wanted to just leave badly, yes. However, in my weakness, my trust in God kicked in. I found comfort in my relationship with him, knowing from experience, that his was a character that could always be trusted, even when I did not understand.

I told myself that there was something he was trying to remove in me, that he knew how everything would work out in the end and that there was something that he was doing in my being there, even if it wasn’t about me.

Those who truly know Jesus, know that not everything that happens in their lives are about them or solely about them. Sometimes, God will use his child sacrificially, to achieve a greater good. For, we are lights in a dark world and sometimes, God will send us into a very dark environment to shine his light brightly, by the contrasting way we live, to those around us.

For the true Christian, life does not revolve around him or her but around God and his divine agenda. By God’s grace, I therefore endured (admittedly sometimes with the wrong attitude) and by the end of it, my evil Supervisor who treated me horribly, had been suspended indefinitely for allegations of gross misconduct and corruption. I was also informed about six (6) months after I had completed my contract and left that position, that I would be paid a sum which amounted to about two years of pay (amounting to about double my then monthly remuneration), due to an increase in the salary and allowances for the post, that was to have retroactive effect.

Before I get to the Conclusion below, if you are not sure whether you have genuine faith or not and are therefore truly saved or not, I invite you when you have the time, to read the following Notes:

• Note 76 – ‘Let’s Be Honest – What Do You Really Believe?’
• Note 101 – ‘Attitude Is Everything – I’ll Bless Him Anyway’
• Note 116 – ‘Are You Really Saved? Here Are Some Indicators’
• Note 167 – ‘Do You Have Imitation Faith Or Enduring Faith?’
• Note 178 – ‘Are You Truly Saved? – Eight (8) Biblical Indicators To Examine Whether You Are In The Faith’
• Note 183 – ‘The Tests Of Time’
• Note 199 – ‘God Comforted Me’
• Note 223 – ‘Faith – Do You Have It?’
• Any Note under the ‘Abundant Life’ Articles from Nos. 76-100 and 226-250

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, all of the above points raised about why people get to the place where they feel disappointed with God, not life, may not be applicable to you but you know which ones are!

If you have a genuine relationship with God through Jesus Christ his Son, you would know that he never disappoints, even when he chooses not to give us what we want or when we want it. His awesomeness overrides that, even when we hurt. His awesomeness is so bright, it is all we see, even when we feel sad or wish for more in life.

We don’t blame God for what has occurred or regard him with bitterness and resentment but love. We learn that life, within the sovereignty of God, leaves us disappointed at times and we on many an occasion (if we are honest), disappoint ourselves, based on what we have done or chosen not to do. Much of life is the culmination of our choices. It is as simple as that.

As someone that has endured months of unemployment on more than one occasion, days when I had no money, nothing to eat, days when I cried miserably because my hope of a relationship with someone had suddenly been dashed, days when I was sorely provoked, lied on, berated, ridiculed and many other grievous things that have happened in my life, I don’t feel disappointed with God.

As a 38 year old woman, I am disappointed with myself plenty, over things that I have done and things that I should have done, which I didn’t.

I have realized as well that sometimes, even when you do things perfectly and aim to please God, life will still throw you some curve balls. Life will still find you with a dose of disappointment of some sort. That is the way this sin-filled world is designed. God is not responsible for the sin in this world and even in our lives. We are.

None of us can get away from disappointment. It affects everyone, from the promiscuous prostitute in the street, to the pious preacher in the pews. Those who know Christ as Lord and Saviour are not exempted. In fact, one of the reasons disappointing circumstances come to those who profess Christ is to test their faith, to see of what sort it is.

Having said that, I do not believe that those that truly know and have faith in Jesus and are truly walking with Him (which is a blessed and sweet privilege and an ongoing, exciting love story) could ever be disappointed in Him. Persons that claim to feel disappointed in God, need to check the sincerity of their relationship with Him. I believe that in such cases, there is some kind of defect in their belief system (as was evident with some who received the Word but not on good ground in the Sower and the Seed parable) because the God I know and have come to trust, no matter what is ALWAYS faithful.

Maybe such persons have imitation faith which is temporary and eventually fails, although they were self-deceived into thinking that they had the enduring faith which is born from God is sustainable and saves.

On the whole, when it comes to this whole issue of disappointment with God, God does not need me to defend his honour but I feel compelled to do so and I could only hope that I have done so to some measure in this Article.

For a person to say that he or she is disappointed with God is to say that God has let him or her down or that God has failed… BUT GOD NEVER FAILS, even when his answer to our request is no and this causes us much shame, embarrassment, loneliness, criticism and ridicule from others and heartache.

Even if I were to go through all of life and he chose to never allow me to have a husband and to experience the family life I have always desired and dreamed of, he would not have failed. I have failed.

As I look back on my life and recount all that I have done or did not do, I am deserving of God’s blessings being withheld from me. He has done more than enough already in providing for my salvation through the shed blood of his Son. He has proven himself faithful all of my life but alas, I have not always been faithful to him.

(Written initially on 18th September, 2019, added to thereafter)

ADDENDUM

I’ve been contemplating more and more on the faithfulness of God, a God who never disappoints. I am beginning to realize that we don’t credit God enough. We do not even begin to comprehend the extent of his faithfulness, like the accidents he kept us from, the places and people of danger he removed us from, keeping us in good health despite how badly we eat, choosing to wake us up morning after morning, when in truth and in fact, we have offended him so much, that we are worthy of death. He faithfully sends the sun and the rain so that we can continue to survive, gives us food, shelter and so many other things that we take for granted. It is due to his faithfulness that we were able to get up off our beds this morning and walk and be able to talk and to hear and to see. Seeing is such a blessing!

I am beginning to realize that God’s faithfulness to us is 24-seven and he is faithfully protecting us, keeping us, preserving us and providing for us, even when we are not thinking about it.

With God’s faithfulness on my mind, the extent of which I am convinced that most of us do not really appreciate the magnitude of, on different occasions, I wrote:

• I’m not going to pretend my life is perfect. It’s not. I’m not going to pretend everything goes the way I would like it. It doesn’t. I’m not going to give the impression that I have all that I want. I don’t. Yet, in all of my life experiences, the good, the bad and the sometimes ugly, the ups, the downs, the highs and the lows, God has shown himself faithful. He has shown himself strong. He has truly demonstrated that he is the ultimate lover of my soul (Written on 15th January, 2019).

• This faithfulness of God trumps how I feel, it trumps my past, it trumps what people think about me. This faithfulness of God trumps all. Sometimes, I must remind myself of this truth because how I feel tries to condemn me, my past tries to condemn me and people try to condemn me. Yet because of the faithfulness of God, I am not under condemnation but have been passed from death to life (John 5:24). I am deserving of death, yes. I am a vile sinner, yes and sometimes I am so disgusted with myself because of my failures, weaknesses, shortcomings, mistakes and tendencies. Yet, I must take my gaze away from self in which it is an established fact that nothing good lies and place my focus on Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith, my perfect and righteous covering. For, “This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, OF WHOM I AM CHIEF.” (Written 31st July, 2021)

• To have been forgotten by man, doesn’t mean forgotten by God. To be written off by man, doesn’t necessarily mean written off by God. To be hated by man and unforgiven by man, doesn’t mean hated and unforgiven by God. To find no favour with man doesn’t mean to have no favour with God (Written 13th August, 2021)

• Even when you’re a mess, God is faithful. Even when you’re weak, God is faithful. Even when you’ve failed, God is faithful. Even when you’re confused, God is faithful. Even when you feel overwhelmed, God is faithful. Even when life seems to make no sense, God is faithful. Even when you’re hurting, God is faithful. Even when you suffer heartbreak, God is faithful. Even when life doesn’t turn out the way you had hoped or expected and you feel like a laughing stock, God is faithful (Written 22nd August, 2021).

(Addendum written on 29th August, 2021)