(The Single Woman Series – Batch 4)

Proverbs 4:23 tells us: “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

Yet, many times, we can be careless, letting our guard down to our detriment, forgetting that there is an enemy of our souls called satan, who wants to kill, steal and destroy everything good that God purposes for our lives.

1 Peter 5:8 continues the admonition: “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.”

This is especially true at the work place. Having let my guard down in the past when I was much younger, foolish and vulnerable, I developed an emotional attachment to someone I was working with which of course was not the will of God for my life.

Having learned from my mistakes, the enemy tried it again many years later, by sending another man at another workplace where I was, to try to get my defences down. By the grace of God, I saw it for what it was in an instant and being much wiser this time round, it did not work. The Bible tells us to resist the devil and he will flee from you (James 4:7). The enemy of our soul may be persistent but GREATER is He that is in you (Jesus) than He that is in the world (1 John 4:4).

In thinking about this second workplace attack (because make no mistake, no matter how nicely it is packaged and who it is, that is exactly what it is), it led to me compiling a list of some of the avenues the enemy tends to use, when, like Balaam, he sends men of the world, to try to derail the daughters of God from God’s purpose for their lives.

The devil understands how women are made up and what makes them tick and therefore, he uses certain doors where we are vulnerable, to try to get to us, through these men. Be not ignorant of his devices (2 Corinthians 2:11).

The doors of which I speak, which, if you are not careful, the enemy can use to send men to mess up your heart, your mind, your life and your testimony are as follows:

1. The emotional door

In this situation, the enemy sends a man who appears to come with sympathy and empathy for all that you are going through or have been through in life. He seems to get you, when your own family never did and to understand you and sides with you against whatever situation you face. He is ready with a willing ear to listen and a shoulder if you need one to cry on. He consoles you, telling you it will be okay, while whispering sweet nothings in your ear, reassuring you with all the words you want to hear.

Whenever you are going through something, you no longer think of taking it to Jesus but you want to run to this man and tell him what happened and how you feel, knowing that he will listen sympathetically and reassure you with words of comfort.

The Bible tells you in Psalm 146:3-4 and Psalm 118:8 to put no trust in man, yet you trust this person completely, confident that he will never hurt you, leave you or forsake you. In essence, he has become your idol, as you have placed the Lord Jesus Christ (the fountain of life) on the back-burner and him, a mere man (a broken cistern) (and commissioned by the enemy like Delilah in Samson’s story, to mess up your life), at the forefront.

This man therefore gains access to you through the door of your emotions which you have left wide open because you have let your guard down.

In Jeremiah 2:13, lamenting about the colossal mistake that his people had made in moving away from him, hoping to find comfort and solace elsewhere, God said through the Prophet: “For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.”

If you are hurting, have been treated badly in life, abused, come from a dysfunctional family or have experienced some kind of trauma, maybe in your childhood, this is the door that the enemy may most likely try to use. Be on your guard therefore.

2. The humour door

When it comes to this door, the enemy sends a man who is versed in the art of being funny. He makes you laugh and when he does, it gives you a happy feeling inside. You forget all the problems of the world and you find that you begin to relish those times with that person. You want to spend more and more time with him because it gives you a good, happy feeling.

Of course because he is a man of the world, some of what he calls humour is really filthy talk but you are at the point where you don’t even care. You feel a bit uncomfortable whenever he gives a filthy joke but you find yourself laughing along with other co-workers, at it.

Your morals are slipping and slowly but surely, this man is gaining access to you through humour because you enjoy a good laugh and you eventually associate the thought of him with a happy, positive feeling.

3.The compliment door

In this case, the enemy sends a man who knows just what to say to make you feel beautiful, attractive and desirable and at the right time.

He doesn’t miss an opportunity to compliment you on that new suit you have on and how the colour looks on you or that new hairdo. He lets you know that he appreciates the effort you have taken with your physical appearance.

Given that he is a man of the world, this will usually soon lead to him throwing in something filthy comment in his compliments because your body is really his focus, not who you are as a person. He will therefore not just let you know how pretty you look today but also comment on how shapely you are enquiring as to if you are with anyone or have a suitor and if not, how you could be single.

If you are not careful, you foolishly go away feeling that finally, someone appreciates your beauty as a person, when in truth and in fact, this man does not care about who you are as a person but has a one-track mind: You are nothing more than a sex object to him.

A man of the world will appreciate your body. That is a given. You ought not to be surprised when this happens. Yet, you are worth much more than that. You are wife material and your body belongs to God. When the Lord is ready, if it is his will, he will send a godly man who will marry you and he too will appreciate your body but not just that. He will appreciate and love all of who you are which is far superior and far greater and far more beautiful than what the man of the world has to offer.


These three (3) doors mentioned above are powerful because they appeal to our flesh. They exalt self and make self feel good and when self is exalted, it wants returns. Before you know it, step by step, your heart is opening, your morals, values and standards are dissipating, your defences are falling and if you are not careful, you will find yourself on a destructive path that God did not intend for your life, which will reap a whirlwind of consequences, some, for years to come.

I therefore end with the same admonition with which I began:

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

(Written on 01st August, 2019)

Dear Reader, if you found the above Article interesting, beneficial, informative or edifying, you may also be interested in reading the following:

  • Note 8 – ‘My Quick Ten Point Checklist – Is He The One?’
  • Note 20 – ‘Equation For Relationship Success’
  • Note 21 – ‘When He Doesn’t See Your Worth’
  • Note 51 – ‘Characteristics Of A Counterfeit’
  • Note 53 – ‘God-sent vs. Devil-sent – The Difference’
  • Note 58 – ‘To Tell If He’s The One Put On Your Spiritual Glasses’
  • Note 68 – ‘My Detailed List – What I Want In A Divinely Compatible Spouse’
  • Note 131 – ‘What I Need In A Spouse’
  • Note 145 – ‘Does He Love You or Lust You?’
  • Note 148 – ‘What Does The Bible Say About Being Unequally Yoked With An Unbeliever?’
  • Note 258 – ‘The Man Of The World vs The Man Of God’

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