303. IS JESUS AT THE CORE OF THAT (RELATIONSHIP) MINISTRY?
(The Information & Edification Series – Batch 10)
Sad to say, many people today who claim to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, act like they are ashamed of the Word, running from the Word, suppressing the Word, compromising on the Word and yet call what they do “ministry”.
When it comes to such persons, Jesus said, “For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he shall come in his own glory, and in his Father’s, and of the holy angels. (Luke 9:26)
In 2 Timothy 4:2, Paul gave Timothy advice which is applicable to all bona-fide, blood-washed Christians. He wrote: “I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom; Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.“
In Galatians 1:6-10, he wrote to the Churches in Galatia, where something other than the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ had begun to be promoted:
- “I marvel that ye are so soon removed from him that called you into the grace of Christ unto another gospel: Which is not another; but there be some that trouble you, and would pervert the gospel of Christ. But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed. As we said before, so say I now again, if any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed. For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:6-10)
When it comes to ministry therefore, if it is really for the glory of the Lord, then let the Word be at the helm. Let it come to the fore. This is its rightful place. For, whatever the area of ministry, Jesus, who is the Word is central to the theme. Without Him, there can be no true ministry because He is the reason for that ministry’s existence. He must therefore have the pre-eminence.
I have written about this before. I am wary of persons who profess to be Christians and claim to have a relationship ministry, where they fail to point their audience in the direction of the Lord Jesus Christ, as the solution, to whatever their relationship problem is.
It matters not whether the person who is listening or reading is a Christian or an unbeliever. Both need continuous supply from the Lord.
The non-believer needs nothing more at that stage, than to know the Lord Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour by faith. Therefore, the relationship issue presents the perfect platform to share the gospel of God’s saving grace through Jesus his Son, with that person. Anything else is negligent, in my view.
On the other hand, if the person is saved, the relationship problem provides an opportunity for that person to engage in prayerful introspection, to refocus on the Lord, to grow in spiritual intimacy and his knowledge and grace.
For example, in the case of a break-up, this enables the Christian:
(1) To prayerfully spend time determining what was God’s will in the matter.
Did they seek it? Did they wait for his answer or just rush along because it was what self wanted? If a person especially finds herself in a series of failed relationships, something is wrong, not with God but with that person, in that there is some kind of disconnect between that person and God due to something within herself that she needs to have addressed.
God is a God of purity and he is a God that is faithful. Given these characteristics and that he encourages his children in his Word to acknowledge him in all of their ways, giving them the assurance that he will direct their paths (Proverbs 3:5-7), I do not believe that he will direct any of his precious children into relationship after relationship after relationship, even if he brings good learning lessons out of them in retrospect. He is a God that can use anything to bring beauty out of ashes and therefore, he definitely uses our mistakes but he does not send us into those mistake situations just so that we can have a learning point.
James 1:13-17 reminds us:
- “Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. Do not err, my beloved brethren. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.”
God also wants his children to depend on him, to wait on him and to trust in him. When it comes to relationships therefore, their strength, is to sit still, prayerfully, dependently and in confidence, while they wait on him. If it is his will to put them in a relationship, he will, in his own timing and in his own way. There is no need to be a serial dater or a serial girlfriend and to pass from one relationship to another, which is often the result of our own efforts, without God.
(2) To humble herself and prayerfully try to determine where she may have gone wrong.
This may have been in a number of areas. Firstly, the Lord may have been speaking to that woman but she refused to listen or he may have been showing her red flags but she refused to see them, due to stubbornness of heart, self-will, impatience, desperation, feelings of insecurity and rebellion.
She may have thought that she heard God’s voice sanctioning the relationship, when she did not. She therefore now has time and opportunity to assess the reason/s for this. She may need to ask herself hard questions like whether she is truly saved and therefore knows the voice of God, given that his sheep hear his voice.
In John 10:27, Jesus stated, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me”. He also stated in verse 5, “And a stranger will they not follow, but will flee from him: for they know not the voice of strangers.”
While she may be a genuine Christian, she still needs to consider whether she was mistaken because she was in a backslidden condition or was not where she ought to have been spiritually in her walk with God or walking as closely with him as she ought to have been and therefore got deceived.
She needs to also consider where she may have done things and behaved in ways that were displeasing to God while in the relationship or even so as to get into the relationship and whether she exhibited weaknesses and shortcomings which are now apparent. If she did, she therefore needs to go to the Lord and confess that she is guilty of such and repent, asking for help to change those ways and to put off those habits.
She may realize that she lacked wisdom and if so, she needs to ask the Lord to provide her with a more generous supply and for his help to avoid making wrong relationship choices again in the future. She may also realize, given that wisdom is found in God’s Word, that she has not been reading the Bible as she ought to, have not been meditating on its truths and have not been relying on it for guidance in making her life decisions. In moving forward, she should resolve to spend more time in God’s Word and to apply it in her life, given that it is a compass.
She may realize that she may have been idolizing the person that she was in the relationship with, putting him above God, while the Lord was demoted and placed on the backburner and therefore, that she needs to repent of this.
(3) To prayerfully go to God with her broken heart and to ask him to heal it and to bring comfort.
This is something that God specializes in, when it comes to the broken-hearted. His Word tells us that he is near to the broken-hearted (Psalm 34:18) and is capable of healing their wounds (Psalm 147:3).
(4) To grow in intimacy with the Lord, there being no distraction at this time or to even have fellowship restored with the Lord where her being in the relationship was an act of disobedience.
Even if the she had been deceived and it was not a case of willful disobedience, the relationship was clearly outside the will of God for her life (unless God plans to put it back together) and therefore, there was some level of disconnect between her and the Lord in her faith walk, which needs to be pinpointed and rectified. For, God wanted one direction for her life and she wanted another and deluded herself into thinking that he had endorsed what she endorsed.
In light of all of the points raised above, a relationship ministry whether targeting Christians only, the ungodly only or both (and it is highly likely, that if God has called you to such a ministry, he would have you reach both) will therefore, of necessity, embrace God’s Word and put it on a pinnacle (where it belongs), not in a closed shelve to be referred to occasionally or completely forgotten. The focus will not be on merely the practical aspects of life but will of necessity, point them in the direction of the bread of life, which is Jesus Christ.
The Word will therefore be mentioned, God’s servant not being ashamed to use it and to make reference to it. Of a truth, God’s servants will find, that they cannot escape it, nor will they want to do so, them knowing first hand, that God’s Word is life.
This is the yardstick therefore, that I use to assess these so-called “Christian ministries”, especially those that target women and focus on relationships. If I’m not hearing the Word or it seems muzzled or there is no reference being made to Jesus Christ as the solution, if the focus is more on the practical than on the spiritual, to the point where the Word and the gospel are neglected, these are red flags to my mind and I become skeptical as to the quality of the offering and whether God has truly endorsed such a ministry.
The whole Bible is about the Lord Jesus Christ and this life is all about Lord Jesus Christ. If a person claims to have a ministry therefore that is from God but his Son is absent or is scarcely referred to in passing and as an afterthought or just for mentioning sake and in preference to earthly approaches and earthly wisdom presented as “solutions”, which are elevated over and above Him, my question to such a person is, why is this?
In Romans 1:16, Paul declared as should be the firm resolve of every true Christian and demonstrated in their lives, their words and their actions, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.”
(Written on 27th April, 2024)
ADDENDUM
Dear Christian, make no mistake, while you are slackening your pace because you are getting caught up with life and its issues, the devil is not. He is pressing on and everyday seemingly, he is sending out more of his minions for his destructive and deceptive work.
This is the reason why the Word of God tells us in no uncertain times, to slack not our riding. Whether tired, overwhelmed, hurting or disappointed by any aspect of life, the commission remains the same:
- “Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.” (Mark 16:15)
- “Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.” (2 Timothy 4:2)
(Addendum written on 27th April, 2024)
