14. PEOPLE HATE YOUR SHINE – WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

I am by far, not the most beautiful, intelligent or talented person that people come across. In my estimation, I am average. However because I know my regal identity in the Lord Jesus Christ, I carry myself like a child of the heavenly King ought, with dignity. Also, I believe that the Lord graces me with an inward glow, (as I believe he does with all of his blood-washed and redeemed children) that radiates for all to see, whether I am aware of it or not.

Even as far back as the Old Testament days, God has graced his people with this radiant regality, so that they stood out from others with a nobility that only God could bestow. It is a fact that God’s chosen people with whom he had covenant in the Old Testament were the Israelites. He told them in Deuteronomy 7:6:

• “For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God: the Lord thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth. “

In Ezekiel 16:14, he told the people of Judah, which were Israelites:

• “…thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee…”

This beauty and comeliness, which means to be attractive, pleasing in appearance and to stand out was evident to all those who did not know God, referred to as the heathen. In Judges 8:18, for example, Gideon, an Israelite, asked the kings of Midian who he had captured, to describe the men they had killed at Tabor. These men were Gideon’s brothers but the kings of Midian did not know this. In their honest response, they said to Gideon, “As thou art, so were they; each one resembled the children of a king.”

Similarly, today, God does the same for those he has called and chosen (Christians), who have been clothed by faith in his Son the Lord Jesus Christ, with robes of righteousness.

As was stated of God’s people in Isaiah 61, the same applies to the Church today, who are in a New Covenant with God. Verses 9-10 states:

• “…all that see them shall acknowledge them, that they are the seed which the Lord hath blessed. I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorned herself with her jewels.”

In 1 Peter 2:9 therefore, it states of born-again Christians, in similar fashion to what God had told his people the Israelites in Deuteronomy 7:6:

• “But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.”

I remember looking back, twice, at a video recording of myself while interacting with family members around a table and I was shocked at what I saw. I said inwardly to myself, somewhat incredulously, “You are beautiful!” I knew what I looked like in terms of physical features but there was a definite beauty that radiated in me that was evident in the video and it was shocking even to me. I had on no makeup at the time, as far as I can recall and was attired in old clothes that I wore at home. Yet, there was an undeniable beauty that radiated from me, the only explanation being that it was emanating from inside and had been given to me by God.

Truth be told, I had seen it in other Christian women, an inner beauty that you quite can’t put your hand on but which is undeniably there. It is more than skin deep. It is internal and on that occasion that I looked back at myself relating with others on video, what I observed shocked me. I too had that inner glow and I had not known!

I came to the conclusion that, as with other Christian women I had seen who also possessed this inner radiance, it had to be because of the Spirit of God which indwelled me.

In addition, I have been told by several people throughout the years, both male and female (including a dear Uncle of mine, now deceased), that I have a certain walk, a sort of dignified walk, which I am not even conscious of. My simply putting one feet in front of another, to get from point A to point B, apparently attracts attention. So used have I grown to being told by people, including complete strangers, about my walk, that when they reach out to compliment me on it, I tell them “Praise God!”

I have no idea how I walk, as I don’t have a video of myself doing so but given the number of people that have complimented me on it oved the years, including an elderly lady a few weeks ago, I have resolved to just accept the compliment, say thanks and to give God the praise for it.

That being said, I have always had a problem throughout the years, where many people, especially women, have seen me as someone they need to compete with. Ironically, this was the case even when I walked around feeling badly about myself, struggling with low self-esteem and convinced that I was the lowest, ugliest scum on earth because the devil had sent his minions and situations in my life to make me feel this way. These people would set themselves in array against me, when I did not sign up for any war and did not have them within my radar for any competitive match and they would exert a great deal of effort, to do their very best to outshine me or suppress me.

This always baffled me. I have never been one to be boastful or prideful. As a matter of fact, in my earlier years, I was quite quiet, a bookworm even, my trying my best to get by without people even noticing that I was alive, due to the endless bullying, attacks, insults and ridicule I suffered as a child because of my very dark complexion and an embarrassing allergy I had. Yet, even back then, when I felt like the world’s greatest loser and completely insignificant, crying my eyes out ever so often because of abuse I had suffered and trying to find a way to love myself, people, having no idea what I was going through and how I felt, still accused me of thinking I was better than other people. Women especially, saw me as someone they needed to take down a peg, so as to make themselves feel better.

This perplexed me. How could I not be saying anything, minding my own business, trying my best to fade into the background and even having a low sense of self-worth on the inside and people still look at me and see something that apparently made them feel threatened? What was it? I wasn’t the world’s greatest beauty queen. In fact, I had average looks and people had told me for many years as a child, that I was black and ugly, s that I thought I was better than other people and to feel the need to take me down a notch?

As I have gotten older, this has not stopped. I have observed that even new people that come into my life, feel the need to compete against me, when I am definitely not competing with them or anyone for that matter.

To be quite honest, I hate it when, upon interacting with someone, I realize that they are exhibiting jealousy and envy issues toward me. Some may feel this way and I never know it but some find it hard to hide. Whenever I observe it, it gives me a sinking feeling of disappointment and I immediately become guarded. In my mind, I think, “Please tell me this is not happening again!”

If it is someone that I had genuinely befriended, it hurts to the core, as I had hoped for their support, love and encouragement, in this difficult thing called life. I have always been one to support, edify and build up others, my not seeing this as in anyway detracting from myself, yet, I have observed that many people with whom I interact, especially women, have a hard time returning the favour. They have a hard time being happy for me, rejoicing with me, crying with me when I’m down and complimenting me when something wonderful happens in my life or I do something well.

When people position themselves against me when I’ve done them nothing and they decide to fight against me, simply because of their own issues and insecurities, it makes me feel uncomfortable, tense and self-conscious. It tempts me to not do anything much because so-and-so would get upset or so-and-so would have a problem. I begin to overthink everything, like perhaps, I shouldn’t dress up too well (although I have always loved fashion and it shows) or post what I want to post on Social Media or express myself as creatively as I would like in words, décor and design and sharing to others on my Page and status, the things I find joy in doing because so-and-so would be jealous.

I then find myself walking on needles or eggshells with that particular person or group of persons, having created a prison for myself, as I overthink my every move, being overly careful because I don’t want these people to get upset. Maybe I shouldn’t wear that shoes because it will upset her or maybe I shouldn’t dress up as much as I would like for that dinner because, although I’ve done it for years, this new person is on the scene and she has a problem when I do. Maybe I shouldn’t post those pictures on my Facebook page or on my WhatsApp status, of the table decor I worked on, although I absolutely love interior design and want people to share in my creative joy! For, I know that so-and-so will be seething if she sees them. Maybe I should just hide them, although I really wanted to share the beauty of the interplay of colours and textures and the wonderful finished product! Maybe I shouldn’t volunteer to do that project or that task, although I thoroughly enjoy doing it because so-and-so will think that I am too much in the spotlight.

I have realized though, that I cannot continue like this. It is good to be considerate of others but not to the point of paralysis, where it stops us from being ourselves and living our lives. I personally must get to the point where I live my life to the glory of God, be myself (once he approves) and forget about the haters. I can’t dull my shine, so as to accommodate the insecurities of others. I cannot suppress the talent, the skill, the gifts and the abilities that God has graced me to have, simply because I know that a particular someone would have an issue if I didn’t. The long and short of it is that I have not been placed on this earth to please people but the Lord.

It saddens me greatly, when I realize that some people around me, have a problem with me when I shine, whether this be in relation to my design sense or the excellence in which I strive to do everything I put my hands to.

Although not the brightest or the best, my motto has always been to give my very best in all that I do, whether this be at the work office, in cooking, decorating, dressing or event planning. Simply put, as I wrote on my Facebook page in 2017, I’m a simple girl that wants excellence at EVERY stage. I firmly believe, that everything I touch should have this stamp and I am prepared to put in the effort, the hours, the diligence and the prayer, to achieve this.

This mentality is often reflected in my ensemble (which, though always modest, as I am a firm believer in modesty, looks quite classy, refined and stylish). As a child of the King, I believe in dressing the part and I seek to express myself in this way. I believe a message can be sent to the world that one can be modest, yet stylish. One can dress in a dignified manner, where it is clear that one loves and respects her God and her body and I often aim to do this with my wardrobe, while displaying my classy design sense, love for creativity, fun and uniqueness. Nobody can ever accuse me of showing cleavage, legs, too much skin or that my clothes are too tight, too skimpy or seductive, yet, I tend to make an impression when I dress and stand out, as I send the distinct message that I am special, unique, valuable, have flair and ultimately aim to please God with my wardrobe.

This mentality can also be seen in my decorative, designing, cooking, writing and generally creative and homemaking skills, areas that I am all very passionate about.

On the whole, I love expressing myself, having fun doing it and often aspire with God’s help, to do it with excellence. If I love something, I give it my all and passionately deliver a product that is of a high standard, perhaps even higher than people had expected me to. In fact, in describing myself once on the ‘About’ Section of my Facebook page, I wrote:

• “In a nutshell, I love delivering the unexpected by going beyond what is expected. This is because I love excellence but in an unpredictable, exciting, unexpected sort of way. I love going beyond the status quo and exceeding expectations. If the scale is 1-10 therefore, I quietly reset the scale and aim for 10-15. I may not always achieve it but I certainly try. Challenges especially, even if momentarily discouraging, spur me on with a renewed sense of vigour and determination, to deliver, not just to the commonly accepted standard or where I set out initially to reach but higher. This is because I have always been an outside-the-box, pioneering, unique perspective and resilient kind of thinker. Don’t tell me it can’t be done or worse yet (shudder!) that I cannot do it because by the grace of God, once he wills it, I will prove you wrong. His Word tells me that I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. Once he helps me, I will therefore not just do it but do it so well, that it will shock you.”

I do not think that these are qualities of which I ought to be ashamed. Once done with the right motives and out of a heart of humility and love, nothing is wrong if our work radiates to the amazement of others. I think that every Christian should endeavour to deliver everything beautiful that he or she does, to a high standard, given that his or her God is a God of excellence.

Yet, what I have realized in my life, is that whenever I do something passionately and well, many times, there are people looking on, not so as to encourage and support but with disapproval. Due to their own insecurities, their desire to be in the spotlight or whatever, whenever I do what I love to do, they feel threatened and so, seek in different ways, to undermine me and suppress me.

I am tired of experiencing this at the hands of people. I am tired of women especially, feeling the need to compete with me, when I am not competing with them or to actively work to keep me down, in a corner, silent and suppressed, them being upset whenever I shine.

While I am busy being me, operating in my own lane and rejoicing in who God has made me to be, for his glory, these women often feel the need to monitor what I am doing, frown at me, express their disapproval and exhibit signs of jealousy. They then work behind the scenes or at times right in front of my face, trying their best to disparage and discredit me or to compete with me, as if to say, “Who does she think she is? Why does she always have to do so well? Does she have to be so excellent in her attire and in all that she puts her hands to? Why does she have to be so showy, when deep down, I desire the spotlight for myself?”

Yet, as God’s royal daughter, it is my purpose to shine. I am to approach everything I do with humility, not vainglory but to endeavour with God’s help to be so excellent, that it showcases His glory. I am not to compete but to stay within the lane that God has set for me and to run my race, without feeling the need to suppress or curtail the skill, talent, gifts and resources that God has graced me with or the passion and excellence that he has placed in me, so as to appease the jealous and insecure-minded.

I am not the only one that shines. There are many other Christian women I see today shining and I give God praise for them. I am truly happy to see what they are doing for the Lord and how he is using them for his glory. I don’t ever feel the need to pull them down or to compete with them or to throw shade at them, realizing that we are all on the same team and are all shining for God’s glory.

That I was created, among other things, to shine, not for myself but for God’s glory, is an expectation that God has of all of his children. He commands it and we ought not to let the ill-will, insecurities and pettiness of others, thwart us from this purpose. In this dark world, God wants us to shine and brightly so. In a day where mediocrity, carelessness and casualness are considered the norm, he wants us to excel in all that we do, to the point where people take notice and are convinced, that it must be the God operating through us, why we do so excellently.

In Matthew 5:14-16, Jesus himself told his disciples (and it is expected of all those who know him as Lord and Saviour):

• “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

We are not to go around telling people, “Look at me!” but in focusing on what we are about and doing all that we do for God’s glory and with excellence, our light will undoubtedly and unmistakably shine and people will see it, the glory redounding to God the Father.

The Lord did not put his light in us as Christians, for us to be so affected by those who suffer from envy, that we try to suppress or hide it. No. Of the naysayers who are bound to speak evil of you when they find that your God-given glow is too bright or your shine rubs them the wrong way, Jesus also stated in the same chapter, “Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven…” (vs. 11-12)

In the Bible, there are several examples of people of God who, while simply operating in their own lane and seeking to please God, met with opposition from those whose hearts were full of envy and jealousy.

Moses for example was described as the meekest man that had ever lived and therefore, he was not someone that was boastful or loved attention. As God’s servant, he simply sought to pursue his call on his life, which meant that he had to be in the spotlight so as to lead the children of Israel out of Egypt, through the wilderness, en route to the Promised Land. While he simply sought to obey God though, he was met with opposition from people who were envious of his position. They took the view, which was far from the truth, that he liked the limelight and thought he was better and more holy than everybody else.

In Numbers 16, Korah, Dathan and Abiram grew jealous of the attention he and his brother Aaron had from the people, although Moses and his brother had been positioned by God where they were as his servants, doing His work. These men therefore mobilized others and they all accused Moses and Aaron of lifting themselves up above the rest of the people. On another occasion, Aaron and Miriam, Moses’ own siblings, badmouthed him, them desiring in their pride, to be on his same level.

In both cases, God intervened to deal with both factions, sending swift punishment. For, Moses was in the spotlight, not of his own doing but of God’s.

Daniel’s co-workers also arose wickedly against him in Babylon, motivated by nothing but jealousy, due to the favour that he had with the king and the excellence in which he did everything he put his hands to.

Daniel 5:12 states that he had “an excellent spirit, and knowledge, and understanding, interpreting of dreams, and shewing of hard sentences, and dissolving of doubts”. This is what God allowed him to have, for His glory and it got the king’s attention. As a result, he was “preferred above the presidents and princes, because an excellent spirit was in him; and the king thought to set him over the whole realm” (Daniel 6:3).

Not surprisingly though, this excellence that Daniel consistently demonstrated, evoked envy from those with whom he worked and they actively set about to bring him down. BUT GOD!

This was similar to David’s experience. In Psalm 62:3-4, he stated of those who desired to bring him down:

• “How long will ye imagine mischief against a man?…They only consult to cast him down from his excellency…”

In Daniel’s case, although they hatched a plan to have him thrown into a den of lions, this backfired, as God preserved him in the den and it was they who eventually had their bones broken by the lions.

Thankfully but also fearfully, God has not changed. If you are focusing on doing his work and utilizing what he has allowed you to have so as to radiate his glory, without competitiveness, pettiness and malice but with God-given passion and excellence, yet people choose to arise from whatever quarter, so as to actively compete against you or to suppress you, God sees and he knows. Leave it in his hands, continue staying focused, continue shining for his glory and let Him handle it.

Personally, I am tired of situations, where, every time I dig a well, so-to-speak, someone comes along due to jealousy, envy or whatever other ugly emotion he or she is dealing with, trying to stop it. I am desirous of space to operate, so that I can be all that God has purposed for me to be, without having people around me trying to stifle, silence and suppress me. I am tired of the inhibitions. I am tired of doing something and people taking offence because they think that it ought to have been them that did it and not me or because it was done so well, that it ignited a jealous flame within them.

In the Bible, Isaac also experienced envy and suppressive efforts by others, while dwelling in Gerar and simply seeking a space in which to operate freely, without people’s inhibitions. Minding his own business, working hard and serving his God, he was being blessed and this caused the people around him to be rife with envy.

It didn’t stop there. Motivated by their jealousy, they could not bear to see him advance in life and so they set about to do things to provoke, suppress and keep him down. No matter how much he tried to honourably walk away from the strife they had created and to peaceably and quietly flourish elsewhere, they were still jealous and still had a problem with him. It was as if they would only be content to see him in a corner, stagnant in life and not bringing forth any fruit.

Of course, as Balaam would have learned in relation to God’s people though, whoever God blesses is blessed and therefore, wicked attempts to throw shade on God’s people, never works (Numbers 23:20). They were born to shine. God therefore provided Isaac finally with the space he needed to operate without the troublesome opposition and he continued to bear fruit which nobody could stop!

Of Isaac’s experience, Genesis 26:12-22 states:

• “Then Isaac sowed in that land, and received in the same year an hundredfold: and the Lord blessed him. And the man waxed great, and went forward, and grew until he became very great: For he had possession of flocks, and possession of herds, and great store of servants: and the Philistines envied him. For all the wells which his father’s servants had digged in the days of Abraham his father, the Philistines had stopped them, and filled them with earth. And Abimelech said unto Isaac, Go from us; for thou art much mightier than we.

• And Isaac departed thence, and pitched his tent in the valley of Gerar, and dwelt there. And Isaac digged again the wells of water, which they had digged in the days of Abraham his father…And Isaac’s servants digged in the valley, and found there a well of springing water. And the herdmen of Gerar did strive with Isaac’s herdmen, saying, The water is ours: and he called the name of the well Esek; because they strove with him.

• And they digged another well, and strove for that also: and he called the name of it Sitnah.

• And he removed from thence, and digged another well; and for that they strove not: and he called the name of it Rehoboth; and he said, FOR NOW THE LORD HATH MADE ROOM FOR US, AND WE SHALL BE FRUITFUL IN THE LAND.”

God made room for Isaac to flourish, without having to deal with the pettiness and suppressive efforts of those who were envious of him. This reminds me when I feel discouraged at people’s animosity toward me, that once I keep my focus on God and not stoop to their childishness, God will eventually intervene to also provide space for me to flourish, a space free from the suppressive attacks of others.

This does not mean that the people who are envious of me will begin to wish me well, necessarily but they will be powerless to stop me. When God finally makes room for me to operate, as the Psalmist declared in Psalm 31:7-8, I will be able to say to him, “I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities; And has not shut me up into the hand of the enemy: thou hast set my feet in a large room.”

Jacob also had his fair share of people around being envious of him. In Genesis 31, he had been sent to live with his mother Rebekah’s brother Laban and things started out well between them. However, as time progressed because God was with Jacob and he began blessing him, this caused ugly jealousy and envy to arise in Laban and his sons, toward Jacob.

Jacob was working hard for Laban and had been faithful to him in the years he had spent with him but this did nothing to quench the envy that had arisen in his heart and that of Jacob’s own cousins. The fact that Jacob was also his son-in-law, him being married to two of his daughters and being the father of his grandchildren, did nothing to quell Laban’s jealous flame.

Genesis 30:43 and 31:1-2 reads of Jacob:

• “And the man increased exceedingly, and had much cattle, and maidservants, and menservants, and camels, and asses…And he heard the words of Laban’s sons, saying, Jacob hath taken away all that was our father’s; and of that which was our father’s hath he gotten all this glory. And Jacob beheld the countenance of Laban, and, behold, it was not toward him as before.”

This reminds us that some people with whom we are close and think that we are on good terms with, will at times change their countenance toward us, when they realize that we are advancing in life, expanding and flourishing. If they think that we have done too well in an area, sense that we have a spirit of excellence within us or are shining too brightly for their liking, we will begin to see the disposition of that friend, that co-worker, that family member and sadly, even that fellow Church member, change.

I have personally experienced this on different occasions, and it broke my heart. It hurts when the people around me, can’t genuinely care for me enough, to be happy for me when God elevates me or causes me to use some talent, skill, resource or gift that he has given me, to produce something that is beautifully excellent. I cannot understand why others can’t realize that there is room for all of us to shine and my shining does not impact on theirs.

Like Daniel in the Bible, I have experienced envy and attempts to suppress me in the workplace, from another co-worker, who I observed would get visibly upset any time my supervisors praised my work. It even reached a point where she could not speak peaceably to me and therefore, although we worked side by side in the same office space with a bit of a wall dividing us, we reached the point where we would merely exchange pleasantries like good morning upon arrival and bye upon departure but nothing more.

Truth be told, I am currently dealing with this situation and I have noticed that there are some days when she is so consumed by her jealous rage, that she finds it even difficult to say good morning to me as she enters the office. She would grunt something, so that it could not be said that she had not communicated but she did not actually voice the words.

Sadly, such envy, the desire to exclusively dominate and to suppress others is not just experienced in the workplace or by people in the public. Sometimes, the shade comes from some in your own family, whether immediate or extended and even from some people in the household of faith!

As Jacob experienced, most of us have family members, whether uncles, aunts, cousins, siblings, in-laws or otherwise, who do not like us and mainly because they want to dull our shine. For some, we are too good at what we do or we shine too brightly in their estimation or too much for their liking, when in their pride, they think the spotlight should be on them. For others, they are of the view that we ought to be down and out, depressed and sad, after all the hardships they know we have experienced or because we are still single or don’t have much money or don’t have any children or a house, land or a car. Yet, instead of us looking down and miserable, all they see to their dismay and perplexingly so, is our radiance, our joy, untouched seemingly by the ordeal that we have been through and content with the state and season that God has us in.

They therefore frown at us, give us looks of disapproval and condescension, mock and badmouth us, engage in other malicious acts against us and at times, subtly try their very best to bring us down behind the scenes.

Some feel threatened, sadly, as they think that if we elevate, they will be left behind and misery loves company. There is room for everyone to shine but in their minds, they feel the need to actively fight against us, thinking that this will help them to get to the spot that they obviously covet. They want the limelight and to be seen and highly regarded by others and while there is much for all to do and they are free to do what they want to do, in their minds, you are standing in the way.

Believe it or not, there are some people that believe that being in the limelight or doing a particular thing is their exclusive territory. If you so much as dare have some light shine on you therefore, by doing that same thing with excellence, even if God called you to it and equipped you with the skills and talent for it and he helped you with it, they are angry and upset. For, you have encroached on their territory, in their minds, when you had no right to do so! They will therefore sit and pout, displaying their displeasure, refuse to acknowledge the work you have done and would much prefer anything else than to render you a compliment. The fact that the work has been done to such an undoubtedly high standard for all to see, also gets them upset. How dare you utilize your God-given skills, talent or otherwise, to produce something that is so excellent and so beautiful, when that is their domain!

Ironically, as a wise person once pointed out though, when a person tries to dim someone else’s light, it doesn’t make theirs shine any brighter. In fact, having a heart full of envy, jealousy and competitiveness, makes one look dull and unattractive, no matter how physically good-looking he or she is. This is because true beauty radiates from within and the drama, contention, pettiness, envy, selfishness and cliquish behaviour that people exhibit, only dulls their shine.

Jealousy is not a good look!

Those who suffer from it, sit and wonder why they are not as radiant as you or as excellent as you despite all their effort but apart from the fact that this glow and excellence begins with relationship with Jesus Christ, it is because of their comparative stick. It is because their motives are not pure. It is because their hearts are too filled with jealousy and all of the bad-mindedness that usually accompanies that, for God to bless what they do with that stamp of excellence. They are too eager for recognition, too desirous of the spotlight and to ensure that they or those in their small circle, outshine others. They are too focused on you and monitoring what you do like a hawk, instead of minding their own business!

The harder they try to keep you suppressed and to push themselves forward into the limelight though, the worse they look. The more they set about to do what they do, hoping to one-up you or show off on you, the more mediocre are their results because God cannot bless it.

God did not intend for the people he created and especially those who he redeemed, to be competing with each other and to fight or suppress each other. This is an earthly wisdom that is devilish. As I have said before, there is room for all to shine and work for all, if only his children would learn to stay in their lane, to focus on following Christ and to stop monitoring with envious hearts, what others are doing or how bright they are shining. Christians should all be so busy shining for the Lord in all that they do, that they have no time to observe what other Christians are doing and how bright they are shining.

In James 3:14-18, in addressing the Church, because this plague of jealousy and envy was present there although they were supposed to esteem others better than themselves and to be humble, James wrote:

• “But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.”

In Galatians 5:15-16 and 19-26 because envy, jealousy, strife and other evils were also apparently present in the Churches at Galatia and among God’s people, Paul too felt the need to write to them on the issue. He wrote:

• “But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another. This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh…Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.”

SOME ADVICE TO THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN DISLIKED, HATED ON OR SUPPRESSED DUE TO THE ENVY, JEALOUSY AND COMPETITIVENESS OF OTHERS

Dear Reader, if some people, out of a heart of envy, jealousy and competition, desire to silence, suppress and undermine you or just plain don’t like you and have an issue with you because they find that you are shining too much and with too much excellence for their liking, so much so that it irritates them, my advice to you is this:

ONE – Remember that the favour of God attracts enemies.

As was evident in the examples looked at in the Bible, where God’s favour was bestowed on his people, this caused opposition from others, who positioned themselves as their enemies.

If you are a Christian, living for the Lord, submitted to his will for your life and shining forth radiantly as a result of this, seeking to do all that you do with excellence, people are going to have a problem with you, in all spheres. You will experience this from people who don’t know you very well, strangers even but also among those with whom you interact closely, in your family, at your workplace, in the Church and in life in general.

Let this no longer come as a surprise to you. It is one of those things about life that you just cannot control or change. While, as an imperfect individual, there is always room for introspection, self-examination and improvement on your part, when it comes to the areas where you shine and beautifully so, you can’t and ought not to adjust anything, so as to accommodate those whose hearts are filled with envy and jealousy.

As I have experienced, some people will envy you to the point of hating your very existence, meaning, if all you do is breathe, they still have an issue with this as well. Will you then stop breathing, so that they wouldn’t get upset with you? Of course not. That would be ridiculous, as it would lead to your death.

Consumed by their jealousy, the very sight of you gets such people upset. They behave as if they would much rather you not be here but praise be to God that He is in control, not them. He created you, brought you into this world and preserved you to this point, all without consulting with anyone because he is God and he will do whatever he wants to do, as it pertains to you. All that you have, he graced you to have and he has a purpose for you, which nobody has any right to try to interfere with or stop.

You will never have a situation, no matter how hard you try, where everyone around you is rooting for you and happy for you and acknowledge when you’ve done something wonderful.

You don’t need to apologize for your excellence or your shine! The harder you try not to offend and to do everything in a way where people will not get upset with you or be envious of you or feel the need to compete against you, the more you will find that there are those who still view you as a threat and still position themselves wickedly against you. As I stated before, I have experienced going completely silent, trying my best to remain in the background and carefully watching my every move, so as to not upset others but people still got upset with me!

Imagine, Jesus Christ was perfect and completely without sin, unlike you. All he ever did when he came to earth was shine, to the honour and glory of God and God indicated that he was his beloved Son in whom he was well pleased (Matthew 17:5). Yet, although he did nothing wrong and God was pleased with him, many people hated him because of their envy, sought to suppress and silence him and some of them (only because it was heaven’s plan) eventually killed him.

Nevertheless, despite all that they did, he still rose up from the grave on the third day and gloriously so and the light he emanated, which they tried so desperately to put out, lives on, it now manifesting itself through those that believe on Him.

This leads me to my next point.

TWO – Remember that you are called and commanded by God to shine, so as to reflect and radiate his glory.

In John 8:12-14, Jesus stated: “I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” In Matthew 5:14-16, he also told them that believed on him, that they were the light of the world and commanded them to let their light shine to those around them, so that they would see the good works that they did and give God glory. He stated:

• “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

God doesn’t want you to hide. He wants people to take notice of you, that you are not ordinary but extraordinary. He wants them to know that you belong to him and because of this, you are special. As mentioned before, 1 Peter 2:9 states of you and all those who have been accepted in the beloved by faith in Jesus Christ, “But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light”.

Peculiar means that you stand out. You don’t fit in and anywhere you go, people take notice of you.

Irrespective of whether people are pleased with you or not therefore or find that you have too much of an excellent spirit within you which is reflected in all that you do or they find that you are radiating too much, the fact of the matter is that as a believer, you are called by God to shine in this dark world, to his honour and glory, not to be hidden. If he commands you to shine, that is what you are to do, irrespective of those who wish you would just hide your light under a bushel or put it out entirely.

THREE – Remember that you serve a God of excellence. Given that his Spirit indwells you, it is expected that through his enablement and provided it is his will, you will perform excellently in whatever your hands find to do and for this, you do not need to apologize.

Some people are upset with you simply because you do things too well. They have taken notice, that, although you are not the brightest, nor the best, everything you do, you give it a stamp of excellence, you surpass expectations and this makes them envious.

Yet, as a daughter of the King who is “excellent in power”, “wonderful in counsel and excellent in working” (Job 37:23; Isaiah 28:29) and whose Spirit indwells you, you can’t do otherwise. Each time, you set out to do your best and especially when you ask for God’s help, he intervenes and surpasses even your own expectations. You find yourself doing great exploits because it is not by might, nor by power, but by his Spirit (Zechariah 4:6).

Once you keep at the forefront of your mind therefore, that outside of God you can do nothing, that you have this excellence because of him and you do what you do with passion, endeavouring to excel but with humility, people have no right to try to stop you or to have any problem with what you do, especially when you are operating in your calling. Once you are not vain, self-adoring, boastful and don’t love being in the limelight but at the same time, don’t shy away from it either when God gives you an opportunity to showcase something of the excellence that he has put in you, you are fine.

Continue to endeavour to exceed expectations and to be excellent. This is a wonderful trait to have and it is of the Lord. As Paul declared in 2 Corinthians 4:7, “…we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.”

FOUR – Remember that the extent of your shining is a bye-product of God’s processing of you.

As one anonymous writer quoted, “Pressure creates diamonds and fire refines gold.”

I remember some years ago, I met a guy at a Church Convention who I had been friends with for a brief period in my earlier years. We had not seen each other for a good number of years or kept in contact and in exchanging pleasantries after the morning session, he couldn’t help but say what he had observed. He remarked, “You look…refined.”

I understood what he meant. I appeared more polished than the earlier years that he had known me and I don’t think it was entirely due to nice makeup or a nice dress or my mannerisms. I believe that it was partly due to all that I had been through up to that point, all of the pain and the sufferings that God had allowed me to go through. In retrospect, I’ve been put through so much more processing since then, that my experiences up to that point, could hardly compare.

In Revelation 3:18, the glorified Jesus conveyed a message to the church of the Laodiceans, who were so comfortable in life with riches, goods and materialistic gain, that they had become dull. They were not shining forth through pain and sacrifice, for his glory and so he told them, “I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich…”

I mention all this to say, that the people who envy you now, don’t understand your journey nor do they care to but God does. They don’t understand the path you’ve trod, nor have they experienced half of what you’ve had to deal with. They also don’t consider, that part of the reason why you shine so much is because of the extent of the fires that you have been put through in life. Some have come through chastening and others, so that your faith in the Lord Jesus Christ could be tested. In God’s providence, you have been tried like silver and gold are refined in the fire and for many a year and God has brought you out!

Like Job, during your season of trial after trial and trouble after trouble, you cried sore but you kept the faith and encouraged yourself by declaring, “But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10)

Now that you have come forth and are radiant or are in the process of coming forth, (like Lazarus, who, after being dead and stinking for four days, arose from the dead and came forth from the dark and seemingly hopeless tomb when Jesus commanded him to), people have a problem. Now, many of them who were not around for the processing, which was painful, prolonged and intense, have an issue with how bright you shine. They are what you call, “Johnnie-come-latelies”. They’ve just arrived on the scene, after your years of crying, years of pain, years of adversities, tumultuous storms and troubles but they see the glistening product or they begin to see it emerging and they can’t understand why you glow so much. They have the audacity, after all that you have been through, to take issue with you because they are of the view that now, you shine too much! Tearfully, you think to yourself, if only they knew. If only they knew just half of your story.

They don’t understand that even now, your life is far from perfect and that to date, you are still going through hardships and difficulties, pains and trials. Yet, you learned to praise God through your sufferings. You have allowed your joy to grow and to flourish even in the midst of your pain, so much so, that you have mastered the art, by the grace of God, of shining without any evidence of what you have been through and without being bugged down with depression, sadness and discouragement, for what you are still going through and have not been granted in life thus far.

The trying of your faith has worked patience and you have learned in all your suffering, to let patience have her perfect work (James 1:3-4). You have learned to trust God, come what may, although there are things that you desire and still do not have, places that you long to go but have not ventured and things you would like to achieve but have not yet achieved and who knows, may never be allowed by God, in his sovereignty, to achieve.

The fires have helped to mature you spiritually and it shows. There is a light that is manifest in you and you cannot hide it. It has not come cheaply but through great pain and sacrifice. Indeed, you would be disobeying God’s Word if you were to try to hide it. Let them see it and let it bring them to their knees in acknowledgement that there is one that is on the throne and he is able to make his children shine, no matter what they have been through.

On the whole, it is impossible for a piece of gold that has been refined in the fire, to come out looking the same dull way in which it entered. It is bound to shine. It is bound to glisten. For, it has been polished by the furnace! People are bound to notice and there is nothing that they or you can do about it.

FIVE – Remember, that the people that have an issue with your radiance, suffer from insecurities and other internal issues.

In short, they are fighting a battle with themselves. Their actions are derived either from feelings of worthlessness and inadequacies, where they have convinced themselves that they are not good enough and that they need to compete with you or from selfishness, pride and a sense of entitlement, where they believe that the limelight belongs to them, nobody else.

Some have not allowed the Lord to work on them and through them as he would like but have put up resistance, in their rebellion and pride and now, they compare their dullness to your shine and have the nerve to get upset with you, as if you are taking away something from them, by your radiance.

Cain had equal opportunity to present a gift to God that would be pleasing in his sight, yet he failed and then had the audacity to be envious of his brother Abel, when God expressed pleasure in his offering.

Others have no joy and spend their days complaining, fretting, finding fault or thinking with discontentment of all that they have not yet gotten, although God has already given them more than they deserve. They therefore resent the fact that you are joyful and have an issue with that well of water that rises up within you, due to your being indwelled by the Holy Spirit. They look at all that they have, which is vast but which does nothing to make them joyful and then they look at the little that you have and they feel uncomfortable when you carry yourself as royalty and are radiant, as if you are not in the least bothered by all that you do not have. They resent the fact that in whatsoever state you are in, you are content. They think that you are beneath them and should act the part, you not having been “blessed” as much as they have. After all, you don’t have a husband or children or a house or a car or a stable job and a thick bank account like they do, yet bafflingly, you show up and shine and beautifully so, there being no indication whatsoever of disgruntlement in your life, when they have all these possessions, yet feel miserable inside.

Even as those in Jesus’ day asked condescendingly and scornfully of him, “Is this not the Carpenter’s son?” (Matthew 13:55), they ask of you, “Is this not the same girl who still has no boyfriend and is still single? Is she not the same girl that has had career trouble which we broadcasted and gossiped about for many a year? Is she not the same girl that was unemployed for lengthy periods of time that we heard about and laughed about?” How is it that she emerged from all that, as if she never went through it?”

Some go further back to ask, “Is this not the same girl that we bullied in School and laughed and attacked mercilessly for her dark complexion or that allergy that she had? Is she not the one that we said would end up just like an aunt, who never amounted in our minds, to anything in life?”

They wonder, after all that you have been through and all that they have put you through, how it is that you can still shine with so little and why it is that they have so much, yet their lives feel so empty, unfulfilling, boring and dull? “Why aren’t we as radiant?” they wonder. Yet, instead of humbly going to the Lord for answers, they choose the wrong response. They choose to hate on you due to the void they feel in their own lives and to have an issue with you.

They sadly think that to elevate themselves, they must pull you down. They are self-seeking and desirous of vain glory and if some of them claim to be Christians, they are not really mindful of advancing God’s work and his purposes but of having attention fall squarely on them. It is not really about Christ and furthering his agenda, where there is work for everyone and space for everyone to operate and to do good and beautiful work to his glory but about them.

Such persons are to be pitied, especially those that are among them that are genuinely of the household of faith. What you need to do therefore is not waste your time and energy getting upset at their efforts and ill-will but pray for them. They need it.

Pray that they will be saved if they are not and if they are that they will grow in God’s knowledge and grace, become spiritually mature and put away childish things. Pray that they will come to the point where they realize their incredible value and that if they focus on Jesus Christ and truly want to serve him (moreso than elevating their fleshly ego), that they too will shine. Pray that they will get to the place where they can genuinely be happy for others, encourage, support and compliment others for a job well done, instead of feeling the need to be suppress them and be envious of them.

In terms of us praying for those who are hating on us due to envy and competition, Jesus said in Matthew 5:44, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you”.

SIX – Remember that you can’t change people. Only God can. Don’t make their problem, your problem therefore.

The Bible states, “Fret not yourself because of evildoers…” (Psalm 37:1) and “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18).

By all means therefore, pursue after peace but don’t let the envy, competitiveness and drama of others, which are manifestations of what they are battling with internally, cause you to fret, become preoccupied with their issues and lose your focus on Christ. Don’t allow them to make you slow down or to question yourself as to whether you are shining too much or too bright or to become self-conscious and to stop whatever good you are doing because they would have an issue.

If God is being glorified in what you do, then what is the matter? If God is well-pleased with what you are about, then that is all that matters. Who are they to have an issue with you? You are his servant, not theirs and you have been placed on this earth to operate in your call and to serve him and well.

Of a truth, some people behave the way they behave, even as Christians because God has not processed them as yet. They haven’t yet been broken by him or put through the fire but once they belong to him and he has been speaking to them and they have not been listening, there will come a time when they will experience it. In any event, even well-behaving Christians will be put through some kind of refining process throughout their life journey, as God is interested in building the spiritual character and maturity of his children and pain is a tool that he will use.

They that waste their time being envious of you, throwing shade at you, badmouthing you to others and competing against you, evidently have not felt his chastening hand to any severe extent as yet or perhaps they have forgotten and need a reminder of where they’ve been and how low God brought them, so that they will put off the nonsense, which is of the devil and put on that which becometh the children of God.

It is indeed, a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God (Hebrews 10:31). Often times, when God is finished with his chastening, his children sing a different tune!

SEVEN – Remember not to allow people’s pettiness to make you become petty.

When people have targeted you and are throwing you shade when you’ve done them nothing, this can make you angry and rightfully so. However, if you are not careful, this can grow into resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness and all the evils that flow from these emotions. If you are not careful, that which your enemy does and his disposition, you can eventually adopt.

You need to therefore ensure that you do not sin in your anger and that you do not hold on to it and nurse it, when you should be letting it go. Ephesians 4:26-27 cautions, “Be ye angry and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.”

You must be careful to guard against bitterness, worry, anxiety and self-consciousness. Sometimes when people surround you with their competitiveness and envy, although you were not competing and wish they would stop, they don’t and you then become tempted, to join in. You may begin to harbour resentment and ill-will against them because you did them nothing but they have been hating on you and throwing shade on you and you may become malicious, like them.

You must therefore guard your heart and your emotions. Under no circumstances do you want to become like them. Ask the Lord for strength therefore, to rise above their pettiness and to overcome the temptation to fight back or to become bitter. Don’t given in or succumb to it. God has called you to something much higher and far more noble than petty behaviour. His Word tells us in Romans 12:21, “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Therefore, don’t allow the pain that arises in what envious and competitive people are putting you through, make you become like them or adopt any of their ways. Don’t allow the effort that they exert to compete with you, which you see and know for sure that they are doing, make you feel the need to jump on the bandwagon of competitiveness and play along with their foolishness.

EIGHT – Remember that you yourself are imperfect and struggle with things and that where Christians are involved, believers are at different levels of spiritual maturity. Ask the Lord for strength and patience to understand, forbear and forgive others therefore.

For some, their area of weakness is envy and jealousy, while for others, it is something else. Undoubtedly, they must not remain with these ugly traits and need to shed themselves of it through prayer, if they are Christians. However, be patient as God convicts them through his Word of their ways and processes them, so as to deliver them from it, even as you have wanted people to be patient with you as he processed you.

When it comes to believers, the goal is spiritual maturity but as Paul noted of himself in Philippians 3:12-14, none of us have arrived or can say that we have apprehended and of a truth, you know that you are still batting habits, mentalities and behaviours that displease God and for which he is still dealing with you over.

Be patient and understanding of that jealous or envious sister or brother in the Lord therefore or that person that is cliquish and only wants those that belong to his or her family to shine and the brightest. Sometimes, people’s backgrounds, their childhoods and the things that they have been through in life, contribute to these nasty traits that they have developed and have a hard time letting go. If they are believers, trust God to process and mature them, in his timing and in his way and in the meanwhile, patiently forbear.

The Word of God states that love covers the multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8) and although you detest their way and it upsets you, you can show them love, even when they frown at you with disapproval and make you uncomfortable with their pettiness, by continuing to treat them with respect and praying sincerely for them.

In terms of forbearance, Colossians 3:12-13 states:

• “Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”

NINE – Remember to grow thicker skin. Given that you can’t change people, get to the point where you are unfazed and unoffended by their foolishness and folly

You can’t afford to keep fretting and getting worked up and feeling down and freezing in your tracks, uncertain if to move forward, every time you realize that your friend, your family member, that person around you, your co-worker or that fellow Church member, has an issue with you because he or she is suffering from an envy problem.

Yes when people position themselves as your enemy and insist on competing with you and you are not even playing along with their nonsense, it disappoints you, deeply bothers and hurts you. Yet, you cannot be derailed. That is what the enemy of your soul, who they have allowed to infiltrate their thinking and to hate on you and without a just cause, wants. You need to get to the place where, even if you realize that someone is jealous of you, thinks that you should not shine and hates it whenever you do, that you shrug it off, pay no mind to his or her nonsense AND CONTINUE TO SHINE ANYWAY.

Think of Jesus, the perfect example. When he was on earth, many people were envious of him and of the miracles which he did, to showcase God’s glory. They found that he was too much in the spotlight and was shining too much, although he was the Son of God and had every right to shine. They accused him of all sorts of things, even saying he had a devil, although he was perfectly righteous and without sin. Yet, he did not let all of the malicious things that those who envied him said about him or what they tried to do to suppress him, derail or distract him from his God-given purpose. Instead, he set his face like a flint and fulfilled the purpose for which he came (Isaiah 50:6-7).

He came to live a perfect life and then to die for the sins of the world, which he did and despite the fact that he allowed them to crucify him, which they thought would finally silence him, he rose up from the dead on the third day, having shed his blood, as an atonement for our sins.

Think of Paul as well. When he considered all the pain that people had put him through and the affliction and trouble that awaited him at his next location, he remained unfazed in his purpose, which was to promote the gospel of the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. He did not allow all that people were doing, to make him go and hide his light under some bushel. No! He went out and still blazed the trail with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

This got people’s attention and he faced attacks from those without but also from within. Imagine, he was given a mandate by the Lord, as to what he would have him do and as he dedicated the rest of his life to do it, people, outside the Church and inside it, took issue with him. In their envy, some disliked him so much, that they were using the platform to preach the gospel, not because they truly wished to advance the work of God but with the intention of undermining him.

In Philippians 1:15-16, he stated, “Some indeed preach Christ even of envy and strife; and some also of good will: The one preach Christ of contention, not sincerely, supposing to add affliction to my bonds.”

Sadly, some people will volunteer to do work in the Church but not for God, only so as to compete with you or to prevent you from doing it or because they think it will enable them to be in the spotlight (of men) for which they crave.

In 2 Timothy 4:14, in encouraging Timothy to endure afflictions while doing God’s work, Paul also related that, “Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works.”

Despite all that people did to oppose and undermine him though, for as long as God granted him breath, Paul was determined to do and be all that God had redeemed him to do and be and he wasn’t going to allow anyone to stop him. In 2 Corinthians 11:10, he stated, “As the truth of Christ is in me, no man shall stop me of this boasting in the regions of Achaia…”

In Acts 20:24, he declared of all the attempts of people to silence and suppress him: “But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God.”

You need to get to that place, where dogs bark and horses bray but you don’t stop for one moment in the midst of the confusion that they try to create. You trod on with the work of the Lord, steadfast, immovable, operating where he would have you operate, being excellent in all that you put your hands to and are about, doing good works and shining where he would have you shine.

1 Corinthians 15:58 states, “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.”

TEN – Remember, use wisdom, discernment and humility when it comes to work, tasks and activities to be done and always be ready to esteem others better than yourself

Sometimes, we shine best when we defer to others and in so doing, display humility, love, selflessness and maturity.

If you are doing something that you know God has called you specifically to do, then do it and let no one stop you. No one has the right to. However, if there is something to be done and you are interested in doing it but can’t say definitely that you were called by God to do it, if through discernment, you sense that another sister or brother wants to do it, irrespective of their motive (which is between them and God), nothing is wrong with you backing down, stepping back, remaining on the backburner and allowing him or her to do it.

I have done this in the past, where there was something I absolutely loved doing that needed to be done for a Church event. Before I could commit to doing it though, another sister volunteered to do it. I sensed that maybe this was something that she too loved to do (as we can have similar talents, skills and abilities) and so I remained silent. I did not fight the issue. I allowed her to shine.

Using wisdom may involve you sharing the work or where it is ongoing, alternating, where you take turns, so as to involve the other person. For some tasks, it is God’s desire for them to be done as a team, as opposed to a one-person ship. Use wisdom in such situations as well and be prepared to work with others where there is need for same. It is not about you and it is not about the other person.

If you don’t love the limelight and you truly understand that it is not about you, you should have no issue with any of this. As said before, sometimes, we shine best by stepping back, although we can do something really well and truly love doing it and allowing another brother or sister to do it, where he or she has expressed interest in doing same or we sense that he or she wants the opportunity to.

Hopefully, this is not motivated by a desire to one-up or compete with you or to get some recognition to their name but unless they make it blatantly obvious that this is the case, it is not for you to impute motives. God knows.

Sometimes, you may sense that there is competitiveness where people volunteer for certain activities and tasks. If you do, nothing is wrong in you not volunteering as well, so as to keep the peace and stay out of contention. Isaac nobly walked away, every time strife arose in relation to the wells that he and his family had digged and in God’s time, he was provided for. God positioned him where he wanted him to be, free from contention. He can do the same for you. Wait on him and look to him to provide opportunities for you to shine, to his honour and glory.

Philippians 2:3-5 states:

• “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.”

Never vye for any position or any work or any activity. Never consider it yours and never hug the limelight. As mentioned before, there is enough work for all of God’s children to do and he has specific work for all to do. If all of the work for which others see is taken, there is much work to be done behind the scenes for the glory of God.

If you are truly about God’s glory, you should have no issue in doing work for the advancement of his Kingdom that does not involve you being seeing by men. All that matters is that God sees you. It is possible to shine without the spotlight being on you.

As Paul noted in 1 Timothy 5:25, “…the good works of some are manifest beforehand; and they that are otherwise cannot be hid.”

ELEVEN – Remember to actively look for opportunities to encourage, support, build up, compliment and motivate others.

If you have been happy for people when they shine, have been complimenting them and are in the business of building up and encouraging such people when they do well, then continue to do so. If you see them shining in a manner that pleases the Lord, give God thanks for them and tell them to keep up the good work! This takes nothing from you.

As someone once said, “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” This is so true.

Paul did this in relation to Timothy, a young man that he saw as promising when it came to doing God’s work. He did not envy him or feel that he was stealing his thunder, so-to-speak. No. He spurred him on, rejoicing in the fact that he could see that God intended to use this brother, who he referred to as his dearly beloved son (2 Timothy 1:2). He told him to “war a good warfare” (1 Timothy 1:18), “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity…Neglect not the gift that is in thee, which was given thee by prophecy…Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all.” (1 Timothy 4: 12, 14-15) and to “…stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands.” (2 Timothy 1: 6)

Where you see other children of God shining in their different spheres therefore, rejoice for what God is doing in their lives. Let what they do, inspire you, not to compete but to do all you can to shine for God’s glory as well, in whatever he has called you to do. Let them know that you are happy for them are rooting for them and admire them and the good example that they have set for others to see. Encourage them to continue to do great exploits for the Lord and to shine ever so brightly. For, in this dark world of sin and unrighteousness, no Christian could ever be rightly accused of shining too much.

SOME ADVICE TO THOSE WHO HAVE A TENDENCY TO BE COMPARATIVE, COMPETITIVE, ENVIOUS, JEALOUS AND SUPPRESSIVE OF OTHERS.

Dear Reader, if in all honesty, you know that you have been guilty of envy, jealousy, competition and suppression of others and their shine, please note the following:

Nothing about us having been created, where we were created or when was by coincidence. It was by the deliberate planning and strategic design of the sovereign God. Even the looks that we have, our talents, skills, abilities and gifts were not by chance. He has allowed it and willed it.

Having said that, for some people, the Lord has graced them with a great deal of beauty and he has done this for his own purposes, especially where they are believers. The fact of the matter is that there are some Christians that God has graced with so much physical beauty, that when people see them, they are amazed and gravitate towards them.

Where this is the case, I believe that he has given them that, not for them to be puffed up or to become vain, self-absorbed, attention-seeking or to feel entitled and prideful but for His honour and glory.

There are godly women from as far back as in the Bible days who understood the assignment when God allowed them to have such beauty. They understood that their beauty was not for them to flaunt in their pride or to use manipulatively and it was not about them at all but about God. If the Lord gives his daughter great beauty and he intends to use it for his purposes (even as he did with Esther in the Bible, whose beauty caught the eye of the heathen king Ahaseurus and who God used to save the Jews from destruction), so be it.

Sarah and Rebekah were described respectively in the Bible as “a fair woman to look upon” (Genesis 12:11) and “very fair to look upon” (Genesis 24:16), meaning they were both very beautiful. However, they did not make it about their looks, nor were they vain in their imaginations and preoccupied with flaunting their outward or external appearance. They were not prideful or condescending to others because of their beauty and did not think of themselves as more special because of it. On the contrary, they were women of God who were about humbly serving him and by extension, their husbands and were more concerned about the inner person. They understood that external beauty was no substitute for internal character. Such was there good example, that it was mentioned in the New Testament, for Christian women of today, to adopt.

In particular, in 1 Peter 3:1-6, Peter instructed Christian wives to follow after the pattern that such godly women of old, like Sarah followed, in prioritizing the inner man, by adorning oneself with humility, submission and obedience, over the outer appearance. He wrote:

• “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”

Despite the focus of these women of old on their godly character, moreso than their beauty, their looks still caught the attention of those around them and could not be denied. They shone.

Sometimes, there are those who will shine among us without exerting much effort. It will come to them almost naturally because God has graced them with it. Such women also understand the assignment, as the beautiful women in the Bible did. When people gravitate towards them because of their beauty, when they get their attention, they use it as a platform to promote the gospel to the unsaved, to edify the saints and to redirect the attention they receive, to the Lord Jesus Christ.

This is a wonderful thing and it shows that physical beauty can have purpose!

If God graces a fellow sister in the Lord with endless beauty therefore, given that it is God that has given it and for his purposes, other sisters ought not to feel jealous and envious of this or to seek to undermine that sister because of this and because they think that they have not been blessed with the same level or kind of looks. In truth and in fact, this may be true but that is fine. In his faithfulness, God may not have graced all of his daughters with the same good looks but all have been fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). He has also not left any of them empty and therefore, they are all able to shine for him through the use of whatever he has graced them to have.

If each daughter would stay in her God-given lane and be content to operate there, if she would focus on what God has given her and how she can use it to radiate for his honour and glory, she would be less preoccupied with what he has given another sister and what that sister is doing or not doing.

God has blessed some women with the ability to be quite articulate. When they speak, people take notice. Of course, when it comes to the Church, there are boundaries for women to operate, as under no circumstance are they allowed by God to be teaching men, whether on a pulpit or otherwise. However, whether it be in one-on-one conversations or some other informal forum, some women have a knack for speech, others for writing. Some can sing well, while others are excellent at organizing. These respective skills, abilities and talents ought not to make God’s daughters envious and jealous of each other.

Personally, I cannot speak spontaneously well and I acknowledge my limitation. However, I have been given the ability to write. By far, I am not the best but it is a talent I have and I have resolved to use it for God’s glory.

A sister may not have a good singing voice but she may be excellent at cooking. We ought not to get upset with a sister because she is busy producing excellence with whatever God has allowed her to have and where he has allowed her to operate. We need to be less focused on that sister and more on Christ.

Imagine, Jesus had to pretty much tell Peter to mind his own business, when he was fixated on what John would do for the Lord’s glory. In John 21:21-22, after Jesus had given Peter some insight into what he would do in the future, the Bible states of John, “Peter seeing him saith to Jesus, Lord, and what shall this man do? Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou me.”

The message here was clear. Focusing on what someone else is doing distracts from God’s call on our lives. He does not want us comparing and competing. He wants us to be laser-focused on him and the call that he has on our lives and for us to busy ourselves being about his business. He wants us to shine in our own spheres, us not leaving our lane to monitor through envy, what another sister or brother is doing. If God would have him or her operate in the spheres in which he or she is operating and he or she is doing so with excellence, what is that to you? Follow Him.

Notably, when Saul whose name was changed to Paul, had that encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus, once he had been converted, he had only one thing on his mind, in terms of his life purpose. He asked, “Lord, What wilt thou have me to do?” (Acts 9:6)

He wasn’t preoccupied in that moment with what other followers of the Lord had done thus far or were doing, nor did he think that he needed to copy anyone or do something similar to what they were doing. He was focused on Christ and only wanted to operate where He would have him operate, hence the question. For him, as it should be for all Christians, all that mattered was what God would have him (not anybody else), to do.

We too must focus on the Lord Jesus Christ, learning of him and on what he would have us to do. This is a personal matter and the Lord has work, both spiritual and secular, for all of his children. As indicated prior, he has room enough for all of his children to shine, not for themselves but for his honour and glory and he has graced all of them with skills, abilities, talents, resources and gifts that they can use.

What would God have you to do? Have you sought him to find out? Are you operating in it and fully? If not, why not? If we would busy ourselves where God would have us operate and with what he would have us to do, we would be so content and so occupied, that we would have no room or time to compare with others. We would have no time to compete or to harbour ugly envy, resentment and petty jealousy for people, who have done us nothing.

The time we take to monitor what that sister is doing and to get upset because there she goes shining again, we would take to go before the Lord to ask him what he would have us to do. We would find out what our gift is and use the talents, skills and abilities he has allowed us to have, so as to also shine for him. And if we are both busy shining within our God-given spheres, we would have no time and not feel motivated, to try to dull the shine of somebody else.

Even if God gives some of us similar talents, skills and abilities (as he does), he has enough space for all of us to operate and there is purpose for all. Sometimes this may mean, esteeming another sister and allowing her to do what needs to be done, not hugging the opportunity all of the time, as if it is ours exclusively.

If we are doing much and still feel jealousy and envy within, then we need to examine ourselves. Is it that we are full of pride, thinking in our ego, that we or our family members ought to be the only ones allowed to shine or that bright? Is it that we are doing much but operating in activities that God has not called us to operate in? Are there tears in our relationship with the Lord that need mending? Self-reflection, humility and prayerfulness are what are needed, whenever we see these ugly emotions of envy and jealousy arise. They are fires that must be put out or else they will consume us.

As someone once wisely stated and it is a good example to note, “There is no competition between the sun and the moon. They both shine when it is their turn.”

This provides good food for thought. Both operate with God-given purpose and both wait on their time to shine. Both operate within their God-given boundaries and have no time to focus on what the other is doing or to harbour jealousy or envy for how the other is used by God.

Can you imagine the pandemonium, if these elements began to be distracted, by focusing on what the other was doing and losing focus of what they were created to do? What if the moon, through envy, wanted to be like the sun and vice versa? Can you imagine how adversely we would be affected, if they sought to copy each other or to one-up each other or to suppress what the other was doing?

Thankfully though, they are content to both shine, in their own way, in their own time and within their God-set purpose and none is better than the other or less valuable than the other.

We can take a page from our observations of these elements that God has set in place for the fulfillment of his purposes. There is no place for envy, jealousy, comparison, competition, suppression and strife in the body of Christ. If you claim to be a Christian and this is something that you struggle with therefore, go to the Lord in honesty and humility. Admit your sin before him and ask for his forgiveness and healing. Busy yourself in his Word so as to grow in his knowledge and grace and find out from him, what he would have you to do. Once you know, busy yourself shining for him and don’t waste precious time stopping to monitor what he has another sister or brother doing. What is that to you? Follow Him!

(Written on 23^rd, 24^th and 28^th September, 2024, added to thereafter)

ADDENDUM

Today, I heard a Christian Teacher, Pastor W. Maynard, speaking on a radio programme, about Christians doing good, yet being criticized. The main verse upon which he based his sermon was 1 Peter 2:12, which reads, “Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.”

He stated that some Christians do well and people speak evil of them as a result of it and that sadly, this causes them to stop doing what they were doing. He said though, that we should continue to do good, even after being criticized and evil spoken of. We should not stop. In short, “The HURTFUL CRITICISM should be followed up by HONEST CONSISTENCY.”

He said if Jesus, Daniel and Paul had stopped after being criticized, they would have had a different legacy. He also mentioned that although Moses was the meekest man that ever lived, he was criticized by Aaron and Miriam and Korah and others.

As I listened, I thought: This is what I wrote on some weeks ago in my Article entitled “PEOPLE HATE YOUR SHINE – WHAT TO DO?” and I had actually mentioned all of these examples! Praise God!

Even as I was thinking this and started to look for the Article on my Website, the Preacher quoted Matthew 5:16, where Jesus had commanded his disciples, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

I was shocked but at the same time, understanding that it is God’s Spirit that works through all of his children, I remembered that it was God that had used me as his servant to write what I had written and the same God that had also operated through this Teacher, for him to deliver his sermon on the same topic. My focus had been more on continuing to shine for God’s glory no matter what people did, thought or said and without apology, whereas his focus had been more on continuing to do good, so as to give God glory, despite the criticism that we will surely reap as a result.

In short, Pastor Maynard’s message was:

1. Even if you do good, you will not escape criticism. People will speak evil of the good you do, so EXPECT IT.
2. What you do, should be unto the Lord and not man. Colossians 3:23-24 states, “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.” Therefore, DON’T LET WHAT PEOPLE SAY STOP YOU. Continue to do good in spite of the criticism which is inevitable. Continue to shine for God’s glory.
3. It is when you continue to do good and to shine, that they get to see your CONSISTENCY. They may never let you know that they have observed it but they will note it and eventually, if you don’t stop because they criticized you, they will get to the place where they realize that God was with you all along.

(Addendum written on 26th October, 2024)

Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be interesting, informative, beneficial or edifying, you may also be interested in reading the following:

Under the ‘SINGLE Daughters’ page:

• Note 57 – ‘Comparison And Competition’
• Note 164 –‘Seven (7) Mindsets That Will Keep You Stuck In The Land Of Sterility’
• Note 187 – ‘Could It Be That You Don’t Like Her Because…’
• Note 224 – ‘Symptoms Of A Person Outside The Favour Of God’
• Note 256 – ‘How Envy And Jealousy Blind’

Under the ‘BIBLE-BELIEVING Daughters’ page:

• Note 77 – ‘That Is Why I Walk In Royalty’
• Note 176 – ‘How You Gonna Curse Who God Has Blessed?’
• Note 187 – ‘Could It Be That You Don’t Like Her Because…’
• Note 244 – ‘Stay In Your Lane’
• Note 251 – ‘Fixated On Me? Focus On Him!’
• Note 308 – ‘What To Expect When Doing God’s Work’

Also under the ‘VIRTUOUS Daughters’ page:

• Note 2 – ‘Woman, You Have Worth!’
• Note 8 – ‘Your Royal Lineage – Daughter Of Dignity’
• Note 13 – ‘A Virtuous Woman’s Immense Worth’