(The Single Woman Series – Batch 5)

In 2015, I wrote two (2) tidbits that I felt that God was impressing upon my heart as a single woman and then some years later, I uploaded them in an Article on this page entitled “TIDBITS GOD DEPOSITED INTO MY SPIRIT AS A SINGLE WOMAN”.

This is what I uploaded:

TIDBIT 1 (13th January, 2015)

Marriage should not DEFINE your journey. It should be a PART of it.

When God decides that the time is right and gives you the person he wishes you to spend your life with, by then, you ought to have been so wrapped up with desire and delight in your God, that you see this person for what he is which is merely a natural manifestation of the awesomeness you have already been experiencing spiritually and supernaturally with your Lord.

Your spouse ought to be rightly viewed not as a beginning to something beautiful but as an extension of the love and intimacy you already have and are experiencing with your God. What your spouse represents is a further page of the existing love story of your life, previously crafted by the lover of all lovers of your soul.

God ought to be second to none and your spouse second to one.

TIDBIT 2 (23rd February, 2015)

When God gets involved and specifically brings two (2) people together, he wants them to realize:

  • ONE – That their meeting was orchestrated by HIM so he alone is deserving of all the glory.
  • TWO – That the love of their spouse will always rate second best to HIS love for them, which is perfect.
  • THREE – That their love for their spouse must always take second place to their love for HIM.
  • FOUR – That the person he has provided is merely an extension of HIS already existing love and not a start of something new or a replacement or a competition.
  • FIVE – That the person he has brought into their life is not to be idolized, worshipped or placed on a pedestal but to be selflessly loved and appreciated.
  • SIX – That they each belong to HIM and have been loaned to each other.
  • SEVEN – That they have been put together not just for pleasure but more so for HIS divine purposes.
  • EIGHT – That their marriage is to be a ministry and they are to be servants to each other.
  • NINE – That he intends to use that marriage to bring both parties closer to HIM.

Now, today being 29th November, 2022, it has been more than seven (7) years and I am still single! It has been more than seven (7) years but in the past few weeks, I have noticed that God has been impressing two more beautiful tidbits of truth, in my spirit. 

The routes he used to get me to these last two truths were painful but I’m so appreciative because I eventually got to where he wanted me to be. I eventually got to see some things and life, the way that he saw it. He got me to the place where in prayer, having come to these realisations, I was pouring it out to him by way of confession because in my years of singleness and with all of my ups and downs in-between, I had truly experienced it and knew it to be true.

People saw me as deprived, as held back from having “things”, like a husband and children and a house and a stable job and a salary coming in every month but I believe now, in retrospect, that God was doing something marvellously beautiful in the midst of all of it. He was teaching me more of HIS value, HIS preciousness, so much so, that I truly count everything else, even that husband that I’ve long desired (and still would like), as dung. For, none of these “things”, these “desired acquisitions” that cannot follow us into eternity are worthy to be compared with HIM. None of them are worthy to step in HIS shoes or worthy to be on HIS level. None of them are lovers of my soul.

Of a truth, God has gotten me to a place where none of these things, though nice, matter as much. I can honestly say, that I’d be okay if the Lord were to withhold all that is in this world, the things that people tend to run after and feel like they can’t do without, from me, once I have Jesus. Once I am allowed to cling to the Saviour for dear life, I know I’ll be okay. After everything I have been through (and the Lord knows I have been through years of turbulence), I have experienced the fact that Jesus is all that I really need to get by in this life, not people, not money, not a man, not position, not anything that this transient world has to offer.


My God is better to me than ten husbands.

In my singleness and “deprived” state (as some people regard it), I continue to live without the “things” that many professers of Christianity consider normal and that they must have. Some people even watch me funny or condescendingly because I don’t have near as much as they have, some resolving that I am cursed, rejected or forgotten of God. Yet, while doing without, God taught me and I have experienced that it is true, that he is far better and more valuable to me than ten husbands.

When thinking on how good he has been to me throughout the years, even when others have turned their backs on me or misunderstood me or showed me no mercy but he has, I blurted this truth out to him in confession one evening. I said, “Lord, you are better to me than ten husbands!” and I meant it with every fibre of my being.

Of course, not to be deterred, it was only a few minutes later, that the enemy, having heard what I had just said to the Lord, tried to attack. I had just come from the Orthodontist’s office in the town and while outside that office, on the ground floor, standing privately by myself, I had said what I said. I then left the area and proceeded to walk in the vicinity of the mall which was only about 1 minute away. On arriving on the compound though and making my way busily to the building, someone shouted my full name, from a parked vehicle. Shocked as to who was shouting my entire name in the town, so as to make me stop and acknowledge him, I looked to see who was in the vehicle. In doing so, I realized that it was a guy from my past, one the enemy had sent along my path and that I had foolishly once thought, in my early twenties, that I was in love with. He was definitely not God’s will for my life and thankfully, God separated me from that situation.

Now, the enemy had heard what I had just told the Lord. So, maybe even unknown to the guy who was probably just trying to be friendly, he was trying to get me distracted from my devotion to the Lord.

By the grace of God though, this tactic did NOT work. I was polite but then moved on.


God himself is my inheritance and He himself is my reward.

A few weeks later, in meditation on God’s Word and on my journey with him thus far, I found myself blurting out another truth, a fourth TIDBIT that God was impressing upon my heart, particularly from the story with Abraham (Genesis 15:1) and from David’s own confession (Psalm 16:5).

After everything that I had been through in life, I had come to realize and with greater appreciation than I have ever had, that God himself is my inheritance and He himself is my reward. The blesser, the one who blesses with good things is in fact THE GREATEST BLESSING of all. He is a blessing so beautiful that the other so-called blessings are not really necessary. We may want them but they are not necessary, for we have all we need in HIM.

These were not just acceptable words heard often in Christian circles. They had become my reality. I realized and truly felt that everything else, including someone special to spend my life with faded in comparison, when juxtaposed with HIS beauty, HIS excellence, HIS majesty. What on earth could compare? Absolutely nothing!

In light of this treasure that I have in Him, everything else I could ever hope to acquire in this world, marital status, money, children, career success, property, vehicles and other assets, all of it are just frills. For, I already have the greatest, most precious gift of all and that is Jesus Christ himself. Nothing else in this life really matters. I have already hit the jackpot, so-to-speak! Anything else the Lord should choose to grant me is excess because in Him, my cup is already full and running over.

Thank you Lord for these four beautiful tidbits of truth that you have impressed upon my heart. They put life into wonderful perspective and enable me to see it on a different plane than with natural lens. In my years and years and (YEARS!) of singleness, we have been through so much together and you have taught me so much, that I say thank you. I have learned that nobody else will ever love me as much or understand me completely as you do or be there for me in life with all its turbulences and problems, like you have been, faithfully so. I have learned that nobody and nothing else can ever compare or bring me as much satisfaction because you alone are THE LOVER OF MY SOUL. I am complete in you, even when people try to make me feel bad for the things I don’t have because you have not seen it fit to give them to me or as if I am lacking in one area or the other.

Thank you Lord. I truly appreciate your lessons, love growing in your knowledge and grace and am open to whatever else you may wish to teach me, both from the things you may decide to grant me in your sovereignty and the things that in your wisdom, you withhold.

(Written on 29th November, 2022)

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