336. LETTER TO A LOVE PROSPECT

(The Single Woman Series – Batch 6)

Dear love prospect,

We are strangers at this point, yet, I have seen you and you have seen me. After seeing you at three separate Church events and then my happening to notice you again on a fourth occasion at a Mall (all in as little a space as three (3) months), I have realized, after that fourth time, that I am interested in you.

When I say I am interested in you, I mean that I have come to the conclusion that I find you quite attractive and I am curious to know more about you, harbouring some sense of hope that maybe, just maybe, you may be God’s choice for me.

Whether there is interest on your part in relation to me, at this point or it will one day be there, or never, I know not. It is my place to take no steps (other than prayer for God’s will in the situation and meditating on His Word for wisdom) and to WAIT to see what God will do.

Know though, that among other important points (many of which I wrote about in Articles prior to my meeting you), as time progresses, I will be paying close attention to seven (7) factors, as follows:

1. Chemistry – Is there that physical attraction between us? Am I attracted to you and does it appear that you are attracted to me? I’ve already determined that I am attracted to you but will this wane in time or will it be maintained? Also, is it requited on your part or one-sided?

2. Courage – We have not officially met as yet or been introduced, although I have seen you and you have seen me, repeatedly in the past few months. I don’t even know your name and you most likely don’t know mine. We have never even spoken at this point. Provided you find that you somehow have some level of interest in me though, do you have what it takes to find out more about me? If your interest does not wane, do you have the courage to pursue me and honourably so or will you just let it pass, by doing nothing? This will give me valuable insight into a number of things, like your leadership capability, your ability to know what you want and to take action in that regard or not. I admire men that are willing to take the helm in a potential relationship by initiating the pursuit and sustainably so, all the way into marriage. Should you, based on God’s leading, do the courageous thing by approaching me and at some point, letting me know definitively that you are interested in me, you will gain plus points on the respect meter.

3. Christianity – Are you saved? As a Christian, I am called to only be yoked with a believer in Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14; Amos 3:3). I therefore need to prayerfully use discernment to test your spirit, whether it is of God or not (1 John 4:1), even if you are in the Church membership and engaged in ministry and are liked by the Church populace. The Bible makes it clear that “…if any man have not the spirit of Christ, he is none of his” (Romans 8:9). I intend to rely on the Lord therefore, who knows all things, including the hearts of all men, to be able to answer this question. I cannot afford to get it wrong and by his grace and because of his faithfulness, once I lean not on my own understanding but trust in God with all my heart, acknowledge him in all his ways and allow him to direct my path (Proverbs 3:5-6), I believe that he will not lead me astray on this issue.

4. Complementary attributes – Beyond the physical attraction (which is nothing much on its own), how do our personalities mesh? Are they in sync? Do they complement each other? Is your personality such that I could envision myself spending an exciting and fulfilling lifetime with you and vice versa? Do you get me and do I get you? Do we enjoy spending time in each other’s company? As we get to know each other, do we click?

5. Character – I am not as interested in charisma as I am in character. You may be popular and well-liked but what kind of person are you really? Are you a man of character? Are you a man after God’s own heart? Are you caring and kind and loving? Are you respectful of all human beings and have integrity? Are you humble in heart or prideful? Is there consistency in your conduct and are you a man of your word or not? Can you be relied on? Are you serious about commitment? Do you treat women honourably? Do you have spiritual substance or are you just physically attractive? Do you remind me of the men I admire in the Bible, like Boaz and the Old and New Testament Josephs or those I don’t? Even if you have professed Christianity and are a bona fide Christian, this does not mean that you have good character, although you ought to. Sadly, some professers of Christianity have rotten characters. I cannot therefore presuppose that, once I am convinced you are a believer, that your character is upstanding and noble.

6. Covering – Do I feel safe with you? Can I sense and with good reason, that you will take good care of me and be protective of me, no matter what or will you neglect on such a vital responsibility?

7. Christlikeness – Overall, do you have traits (although not perfect) that remind me of my Lord and Saviour or not? Are you growing in his knowledge and grace, so that I see spiritual improvement and maturity in you or do you remain stagnant?

In closing dear prospective suitor, know that these are the seven (7) factors, among many others, that I will be observing, as we move forward. If you are not the one, there will be no need to advance through all of them but only time will tell.

I can assure you that, as I sit still (which is my strength) and study you (Isaiah 30:7), you will not feel pressured as if you are taking a test because you will not even know that I am observing you, to determine whether you are the one that God wants for me or not. I would expect that, if there is an inkling of interest on your part for me (which there may not be and that is fine), that you will be in observation mode as well.

All and in all, may God’s perfect will be done and may he provide much needed guidance and wisdom as I prayerfully consider who to court and who to marry. There is a part of me that hopes excitingly though, that you are the one that God wills me to be with and to marry. Should this not prove to be the case, I will be a bit disappointed but will rest in the fact that God knows best.

Cheers to the future, whatever it may mean for you and me, whether God wills us to be together or not.

(Written on 10th May, 2024)

Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be interesting, informative, beneficial or edifying or you want more tips or information on the subject of choosing the right one, you may also be interested in reading the following:

  • Note 322 – ‘Should I Allow Him To Pursue?’
  • Note 323 – ‘When God Gives You The Green Light’
  • Note 128 – ‘God-Sent Or Just God-ly?’
  • Note 147 – ‘How To Tell If He’s Your God-Sent Or Just God-ly’
  • Note 8 – ‘My Quick Ten Point Checklist – Is He The One?
  • Note 51 – ‘Characteristics Of A Counterfeit
  • Note 18 – ‘You Cannot Change Him’
  • Note 21 – ‘When He Doesn’t See Your Worth’
  • Note 53 – ‘God-sent vs Devil-sent – The Difference’
  • Note 55 – ‘I Want To Go Where I Have Never Been Before’
  • Note 58 – ‘To Tell If He’s The One Put On Your Spiritual Glasses’
  • Note 69 – ‘Taking On His Last Name – Is It Significant?’
  • Note 130 – ‘Ladies, How Long Are You Prepared To Wait?’
  • Note 144 – ‘Before You Say ‘I Do’
  • Note 145 – ‘Does He Love You Or Lust You?’
  • Note 148 – ‘What Does The Bible Say About Being Unequally Yoked With An Unbeliever’
  • Note 258 – ‘The Man Of The World vs The Man Of God’
  • Note 260 – ‘Common Sense Tips For Choosing The Right One’
  • Note 271 – ‘Not Just Any Man Will Do – My Top Ten (10) Pet Peeves In A Man’
  • Note 275 – ‘How God Wants Us To Treat With Our Idols’
  • Note 300 – ‘God’s Traffic System’

Additionally, under the ‘COURTING OR ENGAGED’ Daughters Page:

  • Note 62 – ‘I Being In The Way, The Lord Led Me – A Match Made In Heaven’
  • Note 63 – ‘Who To Marry?’
  • Note 68 – ‘Wilt Thou Go With This Man?’
  • Note 16 – ‘Dear Christian, Does God Approve Of Your Relationship?’
  • Note 42 – ‘Making The Wrong Decision Can Be Costly – When You Don’t Wait On God To Introduce Your Spouse
  • Note 67 – ‘Are You Making The Right Choice?’

Under the ‘BIBLE-BELIEVING Daughters’ page:

  • Note 200 – ‘No Turning Back, No Turning Back
  • Note 276 – ‘An Angel Of Light?
  • Note 262 – ‘Why We Should Let God Direct Our Path’
  • Note 273 – ‘He Wants To Be Enquired Of’

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