7. I WANTED A HUSBAND SO I PETITIONED THE THRONE OF GRACE FOR ONE
(The Single Woman Series)
For many years, from maybe my early twenties, I prayed to God asking him for a husband.
A family of my own was something I had always dreamed of because I love to serve. I had tried things my way in the past and it had not worked out and so from the age of about twenty four, I learned the painful way, that the choice of a marriage partner is a choice best made by God.
From that point, I began asking God to keep every man that was not THE ONE he had chosen for me, far from me and to only allow THE ONE that he had appointed to be my husband, to make it through to my heart and life.
God was faithful to what I had prayed and for many years, men showed interest but none dared come close because they were not the right ones for me. I even got my expectations broken at one point, where I believed that someone with whom I had had to associate with at Church for about two years for Ministry purposes was ‘maybe’ THE ONE that God wanted for me to marry.
Although I secretly hoped that this would be the case, I prayed though, that if he was not to be THE ONE, that God would remove him from around me. For reasons which I may never fully understand though and in God’s wisdom, he kept him around me nonetheless, for a time. It so turned out that he was not THE ONE and I grieved for shattered hope at the possibility that he could have been but I know that almighty God knows best.
In retrospect, I think that God allowed us to be around each other for a time, as he saw fit, to develop things in both of our characters that were lacking or to highlight certain behaviours within ourselves which we needed to address. If it is one thing I know about God is that he is an all-wise God and his methods and his ways are past finding out. Everything he allows in the lives of his children is for purpose.
Over the years though, I often wondered why I was not being approached, even by the few men that I had had a genuine interest in. This included the one I wrote of previously, that had shown (in my view), definite signs of wanting to get to know me better. However, whenever I began wondering why, I would then remember what I had prayed to God. I had sincerely asked him to keep all men from me, including good Christian men, if they were not his perfect will for my life and until he was ready for me to court and marry.
Clearly, God was not yet ready to send me my husband. For starters, he was still working on some things in me and I believe he honoured my prayer. Thank God!
I have never been the one to keep trying boyfriends until it worked out. From as early as my teens, I always knew in my heart that I was to be the wife of ONE and was to be reserved for ONE. I therefore felt no need to date around. If I felt that someone was showing me interest but I knew that I was not interested in turn and especially that our values were not aligned, I would shut that down immediately!
As a foolish and naive girl with low self-esteem and looking desperately for love and attention though, I made a blunder somewhere between the age of twenty and twenty-three, where I opened up my heart to the wrong man. After suffering a broken heart (which I deserved for being disobedient to God and not waiting on him to make the choice), I learned my lesson, repented and was particularly careful to stay single, unattached and in no way involved with anyone, until God was ready to bring THE ONE.
The next time I had to be involved with any man, I wanted it to be God’s choice. I knew that somehow he would give me confirmation when that time came and so I waited…and waited…and waited.
It has not been easy being single all of these years but it has certainly gotten easier with time. I can now say that I don’t feel rushed to find a husband to marry and I fully trust God to work out everything in His timing. He is a God that makes all things beautiful in His time.
In March 2016 however (I don’t know but somehow 2016 was a year that made me spend quality time thinking about marriage and a spouse), I decided to put a prayer down on paper so that I could address clearly, certain things that I wanted in a spouse, whenever I approached God next, to petition for one.
This prayer was not like the prayers I had prayed before. It was more aggressive, bold, faith-filled (as if the thing was already done) and was presented with confidence before the Lord. It was as if I sensed that God was getting ready to bring the spouse of HIS choice into my life and I felt the need to pray a different way than I had ever prayed before about the issue.
I still continued to pray spontaneously about a spouse but some days, I would pull out the prayer I had carefully written and pray to God from it. Since the simple reciting of prayers will get you nowhere, I was always careful to ensure that when I prayed from what I had prepared, it was still coming from my heart and not just my head.
Every person’s prayer and needs would be different so I cannot recommend it as THE prayer that should be uttered when desiring a spouse. However, it summed up the things that were important to me and I therefore prayed it earnestly, trusting God to honour each one of my requests.
I came boldly to the throne of grace about a husband because of four (4) things:
- ONE – I was a child of the King, had relationship with him through Jesus Christ and therefore was allowed to approach God freely with such a request;
- TWO – Although there were still areas in my life that God was working on, I was genuinely trying for some time now with his help, to stay on the path of obedience in my life and to avoid all sin;
- THREE – I knew God to be a God that had the power to grant me my requests and even greater than I could ever ask;
- FOUR – I was fully persuaded that he had given me a specific promise from his Word while reading my Bible, about a family of my own in 2013, which was again confirmed through his Word to me in 2014. He was not a God that lied so I knew it was bound to come to pass. I merely needed to continue praying in faith while waiting on his perfect timing, so that all that he had promised and therefore, what was already done in the spiritual realm, would be done in the natural.
I am typing this Note on the 11th April, 2016 and it is my hope and even my expectation, that my spouse-to-be is also praying to God for a wife and is trusting God for the provision of same.
I want a man that did not just find me on his own but who waited on God (although they could possibly have just married anyone else) to provide the wife that HE had selected and knew would be divinely compatible. To me, that is just so much more romantic and is actually what should be the case with Christians.
People can say what they want but I know my God is still in the matchmaking business and whereas I expect the man to do the searching, I expect him to do so with God at his side, guiding him as to who to avoid and THE ONE to approach.
Having said all of that, without further ado, here is the prayer I began to pray from March 2016:
MY PRAYER TO GOD FOR A HUSBAND
Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name. I pray that your Kingdom will come and that your will will be done on earth and in my life, even as it is now being done in heaven.
I pray that you will take complete control of my life and of me and order and direct every one of my steps.
Father in heaven, you have placed the ability to nurture in me and so many other wifely skills and talents. You have been developing me over the years and I know that you have been preparing me to be a wife and mother. Father in heaven, I pray that you will cleanse me from everything that undermines this call and that you will cause the man you have appointed for me to marry, to manifest in the natural realm.
I pray Lord that you will take charge of the time and the place and the manner in which we meet and that you will orchestrate everything on our behalf.
I thank you Lord for when you do it and I pray that when you do, you will guide us forward every step of the way during our courtship. Help us Father, to honour you with our words, our bodies and to treat each other honourably.
I pray Father in heaven, that the one that you have appointed to be my husband will be divinely compatible with me, even in terms of the characteristics I have placed in a list. I know that he will not have everything I have placed there but help him to have most of the noble traits of Boaz and to display Christ-like character.
Place us in a marriage, Father in heaven, in your perfect timing and let it be a marriage that succeeds and is joyful always. I pray Father in heaven, that you will now open the door to a husband and children for me, although this door has never been opened for me before. Let nothing stop it or thwart it Lord but let your purposes in my life be established. Help me to willingly go through the door you open for me and deliver me from all deception.
Help me to bring you glory in my courtship, in my engagement, in my wedding and in my marriage, in Jesus’ name.
Help my husband to also be manifested soon Lord, so that our courtship can begin. I am so excited Lord but help me to exercise patience.
Provide a husband for me Lord that will love me in the way that you want him to love me, that will appreciate, cherish and honour me always. Provide someone that I will readily submit to and who you have instilled the virtue of Godly leadership. I pray that you will cause us to be highly and perfectly attracted to each other from the beginning, on all three dimensions, the spiritual, the emotional and the physical but help us to exercise self-control throughout our courtship, so that we would not sin against you.
Provide a husband Father in heaven, that, though he is very attracted to me and longs for me to be his wife, he will not touch me sexually in any way or to any extent and will respect my wishes not to be kissed until after we have wedded.
Help me as well to control myself around him and to always dress honourably. Let not physical attraction be the centre of our courtship Lord, even though it exists but help us to genuinely enjoy each other’s company and character and values and thoughts. Help us to focus on preparing a firm foundation during the courtship phase, for a rewarding marriage thereafter, in Jesus’ name.
I ask and declare and believe these things Father in heaven because the Kingdom belongs to you and to no one else. You are sovereign, all powerful and glorious, so that I know that my prayer and declarations are not misplaced. Thank you for doing it Father in heaven. I wait in expectation of everything that I have prayed being manifested in the natural realm, in Jesus’ name, Amen.
(Written on 11th April, 2016)