(The Single Woman Series – Batch 2)
I’ll admit, sometimes I have wondered if there’ll ever be a man that would step up to the plate. I sometimes wonder, does such a man even exist?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not looking for perfection. People have said that I am too picky but truthfully, I am not. What I must be is true to myself and my standards, which are really basic spiritual requirements that any man hoping to capture the heart of a special daughter of God should have.
Despite all that I have been through in my life (and I have been through a lot) God has allowed me to reach a place where I know my worth and because of this, I CANNOT settle. My journey in life thus far has been painful but precious and I am not prepared to sell my virtue cheaply. I have reached where I have reached in terms of character development at significant sacrifice and through difficulties and storms and obstacles and tears and humiliation and ostracism and rejection and betrayal and abandonment THROUGH GOD! and I NEED a man that gets that, ALL of that and appreciates me, ALL of me because of that.
I have certain standards that I CANNOT compromise on, basic spiritual values that he must have and of the role he is to play in my life, if I am to give my heart and entrust my life to him.
For example, my heart’s desire, spiritually, for a love relationship, has always been one (among other crucial factors), where there are three Ps: Purpose, Passion and Praise.
PURPOSE: He should motivate and inspire me to serve God better, to be a better Christian and to do more for the Lord. He should also encourage me to achieve what I have been called to do, to use my talents and gifts for God’s Kingdom and be invested in my holistic growth, spiritual success and development.
PASSION: His heart needs to be on fire for me. He must not love me platonically but passionately, to the point where he puts me first (after God) before himself, his desires and his wants. He must love me to the point where no other woman will do or even begin to compare and where he is even prepared to give up his life (if need be) to protect me. He must be passionate about me and our relationship, place the utmost value on it (after Christ) and give it such priority, that his job, career, ambition, friends, car, money, sports and even the family he was born into (while they remain important), all take the place AFTER that place in his heart, that he has reserved for me.
PRAISE: I love to praise and appreciate my God, so my spouse must also have that level of relationship with God and a praise-filled spirit. He must be a worshipping partner, one who gets me when I talk about the greatness of my God and all that he has done in my life and glorify God when I tell him of my past and he sees how far I’ve come by God’s grace alone. He should effortlessly join with me when I am singing praises to God. He should look forward to the times when we can spend time studying, discussing and meditating on the Word of God and praying together and he should see every love act on our part, including lovemaking, as acts of worship, that which bring glory to God and as reason to praise and glorify God for the gift of each other.
These three Ps should also be reciprocated, in that he also experiences them in me.
In the world today, I know that these requirements are tall orders but I would not be true to me and to who God made me to be, if I did not have them.
I feel so strongly about not settling that I am prepared to remain single forever, if these basics are not met. I simply cannot sell myself short.
This is not an easy position to take because people may not understand and think that I am being difficult. For example, an aunt of mine got upset with me because she insisted that I accept a young man in a Church I used to attend that was interested in me but I refused because I felt absolutely no connection with him and knew in my heart that he was not THE ONE for me.
I CANNOT see myself walking down an aisle and in a white dress to give myself, my heart, my life, my body and all that pertains to me to a man, unless we are divinely compatible. To understand what I mean by divine compatibility, see one of my earlier Articles entitled ‘MY DETAILED LIST – WHAT I WANT IN A DIVINELY COMPATIBLE SPOUSE’.
Were God not real, maybe I would settle because then, my options would be limited. But I know that he exists, that nothing is too hard for him to do and that his storehouse is limitless and full of abundance. There is no dearth in God’s Kingdom irrespective of how things ‘appear’ on earth and in the Churches. When then should I compromise and accept anything less than God’s best for me?
I remind myself often that God is able to do far more than I could ever even think or imagine. As high as my standards may appear to some therefore, I believe that God is STILL able to send me someone that exceeds the best of them, so much so, that when I think of the beauty of what we have, it would lead me to break down in tears of humility and gratitude for the miracle of US.
Trust me, if I make it to the altar, my guests better have some handkerchiefs ready. For, this will be evidence that I have been found by the one that my soul truly loves.
I am a very deep person. I have always have been. I can therefore never be satisfied with a superficial relationship. To finally connect with someone on all three dimensions of spiritual, emotional and physical attraction, would be a dream come true. For, where a couple has a strong spiritual connection, strong emotional bond and a strong physical attraction, that is a bond that, once Jesus remains as the glue is impenetrable.
I can see it now. It is highly likely that I’ll be fighting back tears all throughout that blessed day. What messy photographs that would make. Nonetheless, every teardrop for love will be worth it.
(Written on 27th December, 2016)
Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be informative, edifying or interesting, you may also be interested in reading the following:
- Note 68 – ‘My Detailed List – What I Want In A Divinely Compatible Spouse’
- Note 131 – ‘What I Need In A Spouse’
- Note 265 – ‘Dear Future Husband, About Me…’
- Note 266 – ‘What Is Romantic Love?’
- Note 271 – ‘Not Just Any Man Will Do – My Top Ten (10) Pet Peeves In A Man’
- Note 272 – ‘You Have Worth!’