(The Single Woman Series – Batch 2)
I’ve been thinking back on my life and all that I have been through even from a small child to now and of how God shaped me, moulded me, chiseled me and branded me into someone beautiful and unique and special and valuable.
I’ve never really had a man on my arm in a defined relationship but God has done such an awesome job in branding me as royalty, that it amazes me. He has me shining beautifully all by myself, without even a man in my life at the moment.
I’ve also been thinking, that when God sends the man I am to marry, I’ll love him dearly and care for him a great deal. I’ll cherish him and serve him. Yes I love the idea of serving a man that is worth it and I don’t mean be his slave but willingly submitting to him because I love God and I love him and putting his needs before mine and selflessly catering willingly to bettering all aspects of his life – the spiritual, emotional and physical, as he seeks to fulfill his God given purpose. I’ll do all that and more because when I love someone, I love dearly and selflessly.
I know because I have loved the wrong one in the past, so I could only imagine when God sends the right one for me to love, how intense it will be on all dimensions.
Despite all of that, I’ve been thinking, that this brand that God created of me, he did single-handedly. No man is responsible for that.
When my husband comes therefore, he will reap the benefits of who I have blossomed to become but the credit cannot be attributed to him. As much as I will love him and encourage him and even praise him at times for the positive aspects of his character and the good he does, when it comes to giving GLORY as it pertains to my life experience, only God is deserving of that.
I must needs point the glory for all that I have acquired and become and all the blessings in my life, not to any man but to my heavenly Father. I make no apologies but although through marriage, my husband and I will become one, there is a part of me that he will never have access to, which is reserved for my God and my God alone. There are conversations for example, that I will continue to have with my God that I will not tell my husband.
On the whole, when it comes to giving glory, it is my God that must be glorified and not my husband. It is my God that is responsible for my strength, my character and the positive aspects of my personality. It is he who over the years, when others rejected me, criticized me, misunderstood me and sought to devalue me, that has been there, extracting beauty out of the ashes in my life and gathering the precious tears of his heartbroken daughter in his bottle. It is he that comforted me with songs of deliverance, when I was at my lowest moments and in the clutches of despair and rescued me from my pit of despondence with HIS resurrection power, setting my feet upon a rock and establishing my path.
My husband will need to not only understand but accept therefore, that ALL the glory for my life must continue to be pointed to my Redeemer. As I wrote in an earlier Article, he will have to be content with second place in my life because my Lord already sits on the throne of my heart.
I will admit, never having been in a real official relationship before, that I don’t know how to include a man in the equation that to date, has just comprised of me and my God. As the years roll on and I remain single, it seems like it may be more and more difficult for that special someone to fit in and at times, I have become fearful that I may love my husband to be so much, that I may be tempted to place him above God.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me though and I am trusting him to show me how to love my boyfriend/fiance/husband dearly, while ALWAYS keeping him in second place.
This is important to me. What is the sense in having someone in your life to spend it with if you can’t give God the glory for it or you lose your close walk with God over that earthly relationship? That is idolatry and I pray to God that he helps me to avoid it.
I therefore pray:
Teach me heavenly Father, show me when the one you have assigned to my life enters it, how to be a girlfriend, fiance and wife to a man that I will always keep in second place. Let me submit to him and serve him and give of myself fully to him when in marriage but let me never worship the ground that he walks on or set him up as an idol in my heart.
Grant me self-control almighty God and grant him as well. Let us never be so intoxicated by the strength of our love for each other, that we place you on a backburner. Teach me Lord, for I have no real experience and may my future husband and I always point the glory, not to each other but to you.
Send me a man Lord that I admire, love and respect, that gives me endless attention, that pampers me like crazy, that cherishes me greatly and considers himself mightily blessed to have me in his life and him in my heart, yet is careful to draw me closer to you Lord, more so than himself. I pray Lord, that when he is tempted selfishly to have me all to himself, that he will overcome and encourage me to make more room for you in my heart. Let him have the mentality that he must decrease, so that you can increase in my heart.
Send me a man Lord that will respect the times I need to distance myself from him, so that I can spend alone time with you. For it was you first Father and he came after and that is how I want it to remain. Without him, I would survive in this world but without you, I cannot.
Help me Lord, in Jesus mighty name, Amen.
(Written on 14th November, 2016)