55. I WANT TO GO WHERE I HAVE NEVER BEEN BEFORE

(The Single Woman Series – Batch 2)

If I could just meet someone that gets excited when he thinks about me and I excited when I think about him and both of us are excited about living an exciting life for God together and God is excited about putting us together, then I would have found my God-sent husband, THE ONE.

To date, this 25th September, 2016, I have not found such a one. I have met men that were excited about me but not me them or that I was excited about but not them me or where we were both excited about each other but not about spending our lives for God excitingly together or men where God just frankly was not excited at the prospect of us being together.

So, in essence, what I want and have asked God for and am trusting him for, is something I have never had nor experienced with ANY man. I am asking him to take me into completely new territory where there is excitement and approval on ALL levels. Will I be able to handle it? Sometimes I wonder myself.

I don’t believe I have ever experienced being genuinely and selflessly loved, covered, adored, cherished and treated like the royal daughter of God I am by one of God’s sons and I want to experience it! ALL of it! I want the God- appointed meeting and the butterflies in the stomach and the developing of feelings and the falling in love (with God’s consent) and the courtship and the beautiful proposal and the engagement and the marriage ceremony and the powerful intimacy that comes with two becoming one and the miracles of being pregnant and giving birth to another life and the nurturing of the family God has given to me and my whole household serving God excitingly together. I am not prepared to compromise either on these desires but I am prepared to submit to God’s will.

And about the question as to whether I will be able to handle such a love, I am confident that I am able to do ALL things through CHRIST which strengtheneth me.

In any event, nobody can love me better than my heavenly Father. When he sends THE ONE to me, he will be continuing a love story that began before that man even came, where God has merely chosen to use him as one of the actors in a much grander scheme of things.

Make no mistake, when this man comes, wonderful and gorgeous as he may be, he is not coming to take the place of my God. I’ll probably love him more than I ever imagined possible to love another human being but still, he will be coming knowing that he MUST accept second place in my heart because the first place is already taken by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

And I want no man who expects me to occupy first place in his heart either. His relationship with the Lord MUST be his FIRST priority if he is to attract me.

See, it is a man of spiritual substance that I am after, one that I find physically attractive yes and where we can build a strong, healthy, exciting emotional connection but most important is that spiritual substance. He must be a man that knows his God, that is sold out for him, that loves him above all else and that is allowing himself to be humbly discipled daily by him, as he pursues RELATIONSHIP with him.

I have realized that I cannot be with a man that says he is a Christian but yet the spiritual substance and passion in pursuing God is missing or asleep. I don’t want a nonchalant, passive husband. I need a man that is passionate about God. If he is passionate about the Lord, then he will be passionate about me and I need passion in my relationship. Anything else would be boring.

It is rare to find such a one but that is why I will wait. God knows where he is and where I am at the moment and I am confident that when he sees it fit, he will bring me to him or him to me for a new CHAPTER of both of our continued LOVE STORIES…

Even so Lord, let him come quickly. I’ll be right here, living my life while I wait patiently (although I will admit it gets difficult sometimes), on him.

Keep the nonchalants away from me Lord. They may catch my eye but please don’t let them catch my heart. Send me a man that is on fire for you and who has a wonderful love to give to me that is compatible with the love I have to offer him.

Thank you Lord for doing it, in Jesus’ name and I pray that you will be GLORIFIED in the midst.

Bring me right back here on this Page to give you the praise when you do it Lord, Amen.

(Written on 25^th September, 2016)

ADDENDUM

After I finished the Article above, I went in search of a picture to use for my ‘SINGLE Daughters of God – Hephzibah Diaries’ Facebook Page and came across this lovely Article by Belinda Elliot, which is relatable and so I had to share:

Dating: God’s Best or All the Rest?

Belinda Elliott 108sharesShareTweetEmail+

Sure, maybe he’s not Prince Charming, but he’s a good guy.

I know he loves me, I just wish he’d treat me better sometimes.

Maybe it’s not the best relationship, but what’s the alternative? No one else is asking me out.

What if I can’t find anyone better? At least I’m not alone.

Ever had these thoughts about someone you are dating? I’ve been there. Too many of my friends are finding themselves there now too. I can’t say that I’m an expert on relationships, but if there is one thing that I feel like God taught me during my dating years (and it took about three years too many for me to learn this) it is that you should never settle for less than God’s best.

I’ve read many books about relationships and Christian dating. My favorite one by far is Choosing God’s Best by Don Raunikar. His views helped me establish my own standards regarding marriage. I decided that I wanted nothing less than God’s best for me.

What does that mean?

It means if you have doubts about the relationship, if your significant other doesn’t treat you with the upmost respect, if you argue more than you get along, if you constantly find yourself defending him or her to your friends, then end it. I know that sounds harsh, but let me explain my theory on Christian dating.

I do not believe in “soul mates,” necessarily. But I do believe that if you are seeking God’s will about who you date, He will lead you to someone that is a true fit for you. I don’t mean that your future spouse will be perfect or that you will think alike or always agree on everything. That will never happen. But I do believe that if you seek God’s guidance, He will lead you to the person who is going to be the best match for you. I believe that God pairs us up with people that complement the gifts, talents, and personalities that He has given us – if we let Him.

I have found this to be true in my own life. The guys I dated before I began dating my husband were not all bad guys. In fact, most of them had many good qualities. We genuinely cared about each other and had fun together. But in each relationship there were things that didn’t feel quite right.

In some relationships, I found myself compromising some of my values to be more in line with that guy’s. In other relationships, I began to think that some of the things I had wanted in a husband were perhaps more wishful thinking than things that could actually be. Did those caring, sensitive, funny, godly men really exist?

For instance, one guy that I dated was a very nice guy. But although he said his faith was important to him, attending church and reading the Bible were not high on his priority list. I had to ask myself, “Is he really on the same page as me when it comes to my Christian faith?” “If we have children, will it be important to him that they are raised by godly principles and involved in church?” It turns out we were not in sync on these issues, and I decided to end the relationship.

Another guy was also an okay “match” in many ways. But I began to notice subtle patterns that bothered me. His job often seemed more important to him than our relationship, and he would repeatedly put friends or family before me. For someone whose “love language” is spending quality time together, that was a major issue. When friends began to point out other red flags about our relationship, I took some time to seriously seek God’s will on the matter.

I’d been struggling with making a decision about this particular relationship for at least a year. I truly wanted to do what I felt was God’s will, but I also really didn’t want to give up the relationship. It wasn’t until I was fully ready to obey God’s leading, that the answer came. Once I took my fingers out of my ears and agreed to truly hear what God had to say, His answer was quite clear. “No, this is not the one for you.” After that I made the difficult decision to break up with the guy.

Does it hurt to end a relationship? Of course it does. It’s not easy to break up with someone that you have grown close to. But I’m convinced it is much less hurtful than spending your life being miserable in a marriage.

After that relationship, I had come to the end of my dating rope. “I don’t want to fall in love with anyone else until it is ‘the right one,’” I told God. Since I had not done such a great job of choosing relationships on my own, I decided to let God choose the next one. I wouldn’t even consider dating again until I had sought His will about the person and the relationship.

It was after this that God began unfolding the events that led me to start dating Matt, the man that would become my husband. We had met in college and built a solid friendship through the years, but I had not considered him in a romantic way (although he repeatedly let me know that he was somewhat interested in me).

However, once I put God in charge of my love life, a funny thing happened. I began to see in Matt several of those “husband material traits” that I had been searching for with other guys. I ran down the partial list in my head and realized they were all there.

Godly, Christian man? Check.
Capable of being the spiritual leader in the relationship? Check.
Sensitive? Caring? Funny? Check, check, check!

As I began to observe his life and how he interacted with others, as well as how wonderfully he always treated me, I decided that there could really be something here. As I prayed about it, I felt like God gave me permission to pursue it. Later on, when I prayed about the possibility of marriage, God answered that prayer clearly too. The rest is history. We dated for about 10 months before he proposed.

And now, after nearly four years of marriage I am so glad I followed God’s leading. It’s not that my husband and I never disagree, or that we do not get on each other’s nerves periodically, but married life is so much simpler when you know that this is the person that God led you to. With that in mind, we know God will see us through whatever difficulties we face in the future. And as I look back on past relationships, I can see why Matt and I are the best match compared to others we each dated.

Don’t get me wrong, you could probably make your current relationship work. I believe that there are any number of people that we each could marry and make it work – and even be happy. But I also believe that we will be happiest in marriage if we allow God to choose our mate for us. That doesn’t mean waiting for God to drop that person into your lap, or waiting for a flashing neon sign to blink over his or her head identifying that person as “the one.” Instead, it means taking each relationship to God and asking, “Where do You want this relationship to go?”

And the next step is just as important, are you truly willing to abide by God’s answer?

If God’s will is for you to be married, then I believe He wants you to have the best marriage possible. You deserve someone who will appreciate you for who God made you to be, encourage you to grow spiritually and embrace all that God has for you, and cherish you as a precious gift from your Heavenly Father. Don’t settle for less than that. The question I’ve posed to my friends lately, and the one I would ask of all Christian singles, is this: Are you willing to wait for God’s best or are you simply settling for all the rest?