4. I INTEND TO MAKE YOU WAIT
(The Single Woman Series)
Dear Future Husband,
You have not yet arrived in my life but I would like to let you know, that when you do finally arrive, I intend to make you wait. I intend to make you wait to court me, make you wait to kiss me, make you wait before I accept your proposal and make you wait to be physically intimate with me.
Since all of this waiting, although it is what God requires is not the everyday norm, even for many Christian couples, I will respect you so much the more if you make it through these waiting periods and still take me to the altar. I am not going to make you wait to punish you but I am sure that you will understand and agree that in waiting, we will be bringing glory to God.
I intend to make you wait TO COURT ME
Once you make the first move and have expressed interest in me beyond a friendship my darling, I intend to make you wait to court me. See, I want something solid, sustainable and strong and therefore, I am determined to ensure that we have a strong foundation.
If you ask me out, I will inform you that I don’t casually date because I believe in courtship. If I am to go out with someone therefore, it would have to be because I have considered that there is potential in that person for marriage and I want to get to know them better to determine, with God’s guidance and continued revelation, for sure.
Instead of going out therefore, exposing ourselves to sexual temptation and then realizing that we may both be very wrong for each other, I will let you know that I prefer us getting to know each other initially by way of social mediums and the telephone for a while. In that period, we can actively seek the Lord individually in prayer and fasting, as to whether it is his will for us to be together.
It will be a period of testing essentially because I intend to assess the extent and depth of your relationship and walk with the Lord Jesus through our conversations and biblical discussions and to figure out whether our values are in alignment and if we enjoy each other’s communication.
I will be asking God for discernment during that period because I cannot afford to waste my time on the wrong guy (again) and I am sure that the same holds true for you in relation to me. The beauty of this period, would be that we are not in physical proximity, so I do believe that it will work well in building the kind of foundation we will need for later.
If a guy that has expressed interest in me decides that my request to wait is too much and he turns his back on me, I will give God the praise because I know, that the one that God has ordained to spend his life with me (YOU) will stay and will pass this very crucial test. You will also understand the significance and value of it because we serve the same Lord and you too want to bring him glory.
During that period, we will be able to sift each other to determine if the essentials are there to make it worth it moving forward. If not, we will be free to go our separate ways but of course, I know that you my husband, will not want this and neither will I because we were appointed by God for each other. I therefore expect that our hearts will become closely knit at that point, our friendship would have grown and we will be secretly EXCITED to take things further!
If you are still interested in me after that period of time (and I am sure you will be) and God then permits us to go further, he will let you know when it is time to begin a courtship. I intend to therefore wait until you convey your interest for us to start courting (oh that word sounds so beautiful) and I trust that God will give you the right timing. The ball will be in your court (no pun intended) because you are to be the leader of the family God is going to give you, so I will wait patiently for you to make the first move.
I intend to make you wait TO KISS ME
I am not going to pretend that I have never been kissed before but I have learned from my mistakes. I am now a firm believer that your lips and your body are for your husband and the only way to ensure that you protect yourself is to wait until THE ONE marries you. When you come into my life therefore darling, you will be allowed to kiss me on my forehead or on my cheek but not on my lips. That will be reserved for the one that God has approved of as my husband, after we have said ‘I do.’
If a guy fails this test and tries to kiss me, I will know that he is not the one because I will be praying for your strength, even from now, to endure, my love. It will be difficult on both sides I am sure but with God all things are possible. I so hope that you will make it and I already know in my heart that you will because God will keep you.
Once you have made me yours in marriage, you will be free to kiss me whenever or wherever you like. But before that my darling, wait you must.
I intend to make you wait FOR MY ACCEPTANCE OF YOUR PROPOSAL
This one I know is major but I am praying even from now that you pass this test. I know that usually when a man proposes to a woman, she says YES immediately but as you will realize, I am not like other women. I am very unique and I simply cannot just accept your proposal. I will certainly be head over heels in love with you at this point but I still have to be guided by my desire to build that firm foundation for our marriage. Therefore, I would first want us to have private sessions together to discuss real issues and answer real and difficult questions about ourselves and our past before I can decide if I wish to accept. You will also be free to decide if you want to end things at that stage or move forward.
If we survive this time (which may be painful I know) and we are still interested in marrying each other, then I want us to then seek third party Christian counseling, which will give us a further forum to discuss important issues about ourselves that we may have missed. If we survive that next level and we still want to be together and we truly believe that God has approved our union, then, once you re-express your interest in still marrying me (or maybe I might ask if you are still interested), I intend to happily accept your initial proposal! My answer will undoubtedly be a wholehearted and very emphatic YES!
I know that the approach that I have decided needs to be taken will be painful and it is unorthodox. When I told my own mother about my plan, she was of the view that it would make a man run.
I disagree. It may make the average man run yes but not you; not the one that God has appointed for me because I am convinced that this is a plan that pleases Him. I have taken it to Him and asked him to bless it and he knows that I just want to do things right. I know my worth as a precious DAUGHTER OF THE KING and therefore, I have to be careful who I am entrusting the rest of my life to.
Think about the magnitude of it: The man I eventually marry is the man that will lead me, love me, be one with me and guide the family God gives us, for the rest of my life. It is therefore a serious choice and I do not want, nor can I afford for emotions, to make the choice for me.
As painful as the waiting may seem, I believe that it will be so worth it in the end. I am sure that God would have either deposited these same ideas into your mind or will at least make you see the wisdom in it because our marriage is to be for HIS glory.
I intend to make you wait TO MAKE LOVE TO ME
This one doesn’t need much explanation because every true man of God knows that he is supposed to wait until marriage to become one with a woman. As I said before and as you know, I have made mistakes in my past and bad things took place in my very early childhood years but I thank God that by his grace and mercy alone, I have never been joined sexually with anyone and I am so excited that you, my dear husband, in a God-approved setting of marriage, will be my very first and my very last. You will have the privilege of taking my virginity in marriage and you would be entitled to do so because you are my husband. This is what God always intended and what he intends is always best.
It is a bit intimidating because although throughout the years I have been very, very curious, I have never had the experience of being physically one with a man. All throughout the day of our Wedding, I am sure that my mind will wander and my heart will flutter at the thought of what things will be like when we finally come together but I am praying even from now to God, for strength. I am confident that God will have, at that point, made an excellent choice for me and I know that you will be patient with me and will cherish every inch of me. Sex is something beautiful that God has designed, I’m sure and I know that it will be a beautiful experience.
I don’t know whether you are a virgin or not or the extent of mistakes that you may have made in your past. If you have made mistakes, I want you to know that once you have repented before God, he has forgiven you and I too forgive you. Now, our bodies belong to no one else but each other, to bring glory to God in the bedroom!
The very thought gets me excited but for now, my husband, wait we must. God is able to make all things beautiful in HIS timing.
There will be suffering, I am sure. Yet, not all suffering is bad. For the joy that is set before you, the Lord will give you strength to endure. And if you survive these waiting periods my darling and we make it to the altar, I may give this that I have written, to you, on the night of our honeymoon and before we become physically one with each other.
The fact that you waited, will be a testament to your godly character and of your relationship with Jesus. No hot-blooded man could endure through all of that in the natural and by himself but God kept you and you chose to stay at my side.
In retrospect, having made it with God’s grace, which is always sufficient, you will have realized that waiting was a precious gift. For, apart from the beauty of OBEYING God, it taught both you and I self-control, patience and long-suffering. Anything that contributes to our spiritual growth and the fruit of the spirit is worth it!
You saw my high value because God gave you discernment and you knew in your heart that your future was with me. Thank you for waiting for me. I respect you so much and I am honoured to be your wife.
I have not yet met you but I feel like I love you already. I asked the Lord to bring me someone deserving and you deserve all the love I have to give and more. I will be one day yours and forever more.
From: Your future wife with love.
(Written on 31st March, 2016)