34. MY SCRIBBLINGS IN THE DARK

(The Faith Forum Series)

Have you ever been in a dark, low place, where you can’t get out no matter how hard you tried and life seemingly for you, came to a standstill? Have you ever had so much adversity coming at you, one after the next, that you just found yourself sitting in a corner, as if you were in the dark, helpless to help yourself and completely at the mercy of almighty God?

I have. Here are some of the scribblings I wrote in the dark:

SCRIBBLING 1

“God is more than just the Lord of acquisitions. He is much greater than what he can give me. He owes me nothing. He has done more than I could ever repay already.

That is why I will still belt out a praise anyway. My praise is not hinged on the list of things he gave me. It is based on my joy that he is in control, all powerful, already made provision for me through his Son the Lord Jesus and through grace, offers the free gift of salvation through faith in that very Son.

Only almighty God knows how far I have come. People are looking for blessings that they can see with their eyes but I see his blessings every day in my life ‘cause like a caterpillar in a cocoon, he is working on the inner me, reshaping and remoulding me so that I can closer resemble the character of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I welcome this reconfiguration. It is painful, very humiliating, but oh so worth it. I trust my heavenly Father.”

(Written on 19th June, 2015)

SCRIBBLING 2

“When the pain seems too much and time passes you by, when you’re at your lowest and feel absolutely worthless, when criticisms are high and encouragement is low, when you’ve tried and failed and failed and tried, when you have no idea how you’re gonna get out of this one and you have no answers to the question of ‘why’, when you feel like a colossal failure and are at your very wit’s end, when you feel the weakest you’ve ever felt and there are days you feel dead in the land of the living, just trust him IN it, trust him to get you THROUGH it, trust him to resurrect you FROM it, trust that he has purpose FOR it.”

(Written on 9th July, 2015)

SCRIBBLING 3

“As I browsed through my baby pictures, I stopped abruptly and dashed outside to get something done. As I finished, I walked back up the stairs, feeling the day’s wonderful sunshine on my skin and I said, “Lord, the same sun that shone on me as a baby is the same sun shining on me now. If that is not a testament to your faithfulness, then I don’t know what is.”

(Written on 9th July, 2015 at 3.16 p.m.)

SCRIBBLING 4

“I will outlive this pain, in Jesus’ name. And I will have the fruit to show after. It doesn’t matter who wants to laugh, criticize, judge, condemn and enjoy for entertainment purposes. I will survive this and when I do, nobody better try to stop my praise. I bore my shame alone and I have no problem rejoicing when he turns my mourning into dancing, alone.

No it would not be too much. This pain has to bear fruit in Jesus’ name. There is no turning back. I will PUSH.”

(Written on 13th July, 2015)

SCRIBBLING 5

“When you’re down and out, very few people will truly support you. The majority will appoint themselves as messengers to go spread your business. You become the ongoing subject of their ridicule and criticism. They all have an opinion and become an authority on what you should do or shouldn’t have done, of the decisions you shouldn’t have made and how you should move forward. They never stop to ponder for one second, that maybe, God is in the midst of your storm. They expect you to stay dead and never to rise. They rejoice at your demise…BUT GOD.

Remember him? He still sits on the throne. The earth is still his footstool. He will do all his good pleasure and the best part is…he needs no one’s permission.”

(Written on 29th July, 2015)

SCRIBBLING 6

“People cannot go with you the distance. They were not built with the capacity for that. Only Jesus has the competence to stick with you non-waveringly during your very best and your very worst and to never disappoint you.

I have learned not to be angry with those who have come and gone. I myself am a human being and therefore am bound to fail people from time to time. I have learned to set my face as a flint and to focus only on Jesus. When I’m on my death bed, it’s only him that will be able to help me then. It’s only him I want to see.

People can say that they love your look, your ways, your character, your strength or even the benefits they derive from your existence but I have learned that it is only Jesus that will love your soul. He loved it enough to lay his own life down for it.”

(Written on 9th September, 2015)

(All Compiled on 21st March, 2016)

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