339. I LIKE HIM! WHAT SHOULD I DO?
(The Single Woman Series – Batch 6)
So, a guy has caught your attention. What do you do? You’re interested in getting to know him better but you don’t even know his name.
Well, some women, after having waited for so long and eyeing their biological and life clock, would think that they needed to do something, anything, to cause that guy to be interested in them and to engineer an outcome of happily ever after with him. In fact, a family member told me today, after I told her that I had seen someone that I liked, that I should ask a brother in the Lord about him, given that they are apparently friends.
I said no.
If it is one thing I am certain about, it is the limitless power of almighty God, to bring about any outcome he pleases. He is able to match-make and if something is his will, he is able to orchestrate. He needs no help from me. He is able to take me from oblivion (if that is where I am in the guy’s mind at the moment) to being squarely on his radar, if he wants us together. If he doesn’t, then it would make no sense to exert any earthly effort because it is God’s will for me or nothing.
When it comes to me seeing a guy I like and definitely want to know better, I may feel impatient at times but I am resolved to remain still. I will not make efforts to try to engineer anything, so that the Lord can have free reign to do whatever he pleases, including removing the interest I have for the guy, if that guy is not his perfect will for my life.
See, I am determined that any relationship that I am to enter, God and God alone must get the glory. I must be able to testify, that it was God that did it, not me, not the guy and not anyone else. My strength is therefore to sit still, to see what the Lord will do.
I am confident, that if God wants a guy for me, he will bring it to pass, in his own way, in his own timing, without me having to exert effort to try to make it happen on my own. Again, he does not need my help.
Whether the interest I have in this man (on the surface, since I know nothing about him) is fleeting or intended to be sustainable, only God knows at this juncture and that is fine with me. I trust the Lord and his wisdom and therefore, irrespective of the outcome, I know that his will on this matter is best.
That is why when I realized, after the fourth time that I had seen him, that I was interested, I went privately into a bathroom at my workplace and prayed to the Lord about it, that he would have his way. When I am interested in a guy, I feel vulnerable and excited but afraid. I needed the Lord to therefore temper my emotions and to take charge, so that I would not get hurt. I asked him to intervene then and there, to protect and keep me and to have his way, even if it meant that this was not the one for me.
If this man is not God’s will for my life, I want him to remove the interest I have and if somehow, he is his will, that he will work everything out as he sees fit and guide me through the process, given that I have limited experience on these matters.
In further contemplation on the issue, yesterday I wrote the following from my heart:
- To the man that caught my attention:
- I wish you saw me
- I wish you recognized that I was breathing
- And was human
- And a woman
- And I wish that (provided it was God’s will)
- You found me attractive
- And interesting
- And something about me, piqued your interest
- And I wish with God’s help and in his timing
- That he would help you find a way
- To enquire and to pursue
- To approach and to woo.
This is what I genuinely wish and hope for. Notwithstanding, may my wishes be overridden by the will of my heavenly Father. I submit to whatever he wants, knowing that he cares for me and will never lead me astray. Should his answer be “No, this is not the man I want for you”, as it has been with other men I was interested in, I will be thankful. I will feel a bit saddened that it is not yet my time for love but rejoice in the fact that my God knows best. He gives wise counsel and my ears are open to his leading.
It may mean waiting a year longer or even more (which to be honest, I don’t welcome, given my age, how tired I am of being single and how much I want a man that I can call my own). NEVERTHELESS, if this be the case, then so be it. Not my will but God’s be done.
Truth be told, sitting still while trusting and waiting on God is not always easy. Part of me is weary about writing yet another Article about relationships as a single woman, seemingly forever standing outside the doors of that beautiful covenant called marriage, that I so badly want to enter. There are days when I am like, will a man for me ever come? Is it God’s will for me to be married and if so, why is he taking so long to work the miracle that I need in my life, so that I can become a wife?
As a very fun-filled, exciting and nurturing person with a love for homemaking and a hopeless romantic, I want someone to love and to be loved by, someone to build and to enjoy life with. I long to have my femininity beautifully matched and complemented against a man’s masculinity. I want to get to do all the girly things that a woman gets to do and to exude all the girly vibes that a woman gets to enjoy, when she has a strong, protective and loving gentleman in her life and around her and not to feel ashamed that I feel this way because I am single.
I want a man in my life, who opens doors for me, willingly offers to take my bags because they are heavy and to experience the beautiful dynamic that occurs between a man and a woman in a relationship. When I cry, I want him to want to dry my tears and to bring me comfort. When I cook for him or in a marriage, have the house looking clean and well designed, I want him to appreciate it and me. When I dress up and we go out, I want him to take notice, as a man would an attractive woman, to appreciate the fact that I look good and to tell me so, not necessarily all the time but sometimes.
In short, I want to experience courtship, marriage and to be a wife to a special man, no longer living life on my own. I want to stop feeling guilty for wanting these things and long for the day, if it is God’s will, when these desires will be a reality.
NEVERTHELESS, knowing that I am not in control of me but that Jesus is the Lord of my life, I know that I must wait on Him, to work out whatever his purposes are for me. This means surrendering all of my wants, wishes, desires and interests to him, in full trust, asking him to have HIS way when it comes to a love relationship and me having a husband. It means me not taking matters into my own hands, to try to orchestrate a particular outcome.
Should I remain unnoticed by this guy because he is not God’s will for me, then God be praised and so be it. On the other hand, should he be available and a genuine Christian and God cause him to take notice of me and plant in him a desire to get to know me and the courage and determination to pursue, then equally, God be praised and I’ll be waiting.
(Written on 29th June, 2024)
