(The Single Woman Series – Batch 5)
To be honest, there are times in my life when I look at my situation which has remained without change for so long and although undeserving of anything good from the Lord and thankful to still be in the land of the living, I have wondered, why is it that I never seem to move forward? How is it that this person is making strides and that person is making such beautiful progress in life and things never seem to change for me? Am I hopeless? Is my situation too far gone? Is God fed up of me because I have sinned too much? Is my time past for certain blessings to be bestowed by his grace? Is he not seeing me and what I am going through and how I am feeling?
Has he forgotten me? What is happening?
More specifically, I would ponder, especially when I hear and see on social media, that another professing believer has gotten engaged and is about to get wonderfully married or has made some other kind of progress in life, while I remain single, what is it that I am doing wrong? Although I share in the person’s bliss and am amazed at what the Lord has done and at times, even pray for the couple, I do ask myself questions, like: How is it that I am this amount of years older than her and still have not been approached by a man of God, for marriage? Does this mean that it is never going to happen for me? Is God frowning on me? Is he angry with me? Am I not good enough or assessed to not be wife material? What is it about me, that so many of God’s daughters are provided with spouses by his divine orchestration but I remain single and alone and lonely?
My perpetual singleness is just one example of the many issues that I have experienced over the years, that never seemed to want to change. I have also faced problems in my career and circumstances where I have been oppressed, ridiculed, gossiped about and maliciously treated, where, in the midst of what seemed life fiery trials, God seemed silent.
I have felt exactly as David in Psalm 31:9-12 felt, when he poured out his heart to God and prayed. I have felt forgotten, forsaken and rejected, definitely by people in this world but at times, also by God (although I know he has not) and like a hopelessly broken vessel. The Psalmist stated, in words that echo the exact sentiments of my heart:
- “Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am in trouble: mine eye is consumed with grief, yea, my soul and my belly. For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength faileth because of mine iniquity, and my bones are consumed. I was a reproach among all mine enemies, but especially among my neighbours, and a fear to mine acquaintance: they that did see me without fled from me. I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind: I am like a broken vessel.” (Psalm 31:9-12)
At times, I have been tempted to conclude, even as the children of Israel did when they looked at their issues, their stagnancy and sterility, which, because of the length of time they were in the same unchanged condition, seemed to be perpetual: “Our bones are dried, and our hope is lost: we are cut off for our parts.”(Ezekiel 37:11)
YET, the truth of the matter was that, despite how things looked, there was still hope in God! Although they were surrounded by what seemed to be like a sea of hopelessness and to that point, God had not intervened to deliver them, he still had his eye on them! He had not forgotten them!
God told his servant Isaiah in verses 12-14:
- “Therefore prophesy and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord God; Behold, O my people, I will open your graves, and cause you to come up out of your graves, and bring you into the land of Israel. And ye shall know that I am the Lord, when I have opened your graves, O my people, and brought you up out of your graves, And shall put my spirit in you, and ye shall live, and I shall place you in your own land: then shall ye know that I the Lord have spoken it, and performed it, saith the Lord.”
Although it seemed like God had forgotten them, therefore, he had not. He let them know, not just that he had not forgotten them but that he still had a plan for them, despite all of their rebellion and the pain of the past. There was still hope in HIM, for the future!
Indeed, when the Psalmist in Psalm 42:9-11 looked at his situation and how bad things seemed, he asked God why he had forgotten him because it looked like he had. Yet, remembering something of God’s faithfulness, although he did not understand why things had gone unchanged for so long and his pain was intense, he admitted the truth, that there was still hope in God. For, no matter how things seemed or how fed up he was of what he was going through and the battles he had to face daily, God, who was his rock, had not forgotten him.
- “I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God? Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.”
In Psalm 77:1-12, the Psalmist questioned whether God hath forgotten to be gracious, when he considered the extent of his pain and trouble. He resolved though, despite the pain of what he was going through and what seemed like a prolonged season of adversity and drought in his life, that he would focus on remembering all that God had done for him in the past and declaring his goodness to others.
Yes he was in pain and did not understand why God seemed silent and why he did not intervene to change his season but he resolved that he would still testify to others right in that season, by virtue of his past experiences with him, of his faithfulness, his might and his power. He would refocus his mind from his seemingly never changing situation, to the times in the past when God came through for him, delivered him and did marvellous things for him. In this way, he would remember how powerful God was and that even in this season, God was still God. The same God of yesterday that did so many wonderful things for him, so much so that he had countless testimonies of his faithfulness, was the same God today. Alas, the God of the hills was also the God of the valleys (1 King 20:28).
The Psalmist said:
- “I cried unto God with my voice, even unto God with my voice; and he gave ear unto me. In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord: my sore ran in the night, and ceased not: my soul refused to be comforted. I remembered God, and was troubled: I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed. Selah. Thou holdest mine eyes waking: I am so troubled that I cannot speak. I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times. I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search. Will the Lord cast off for ever? and will he be favourable no more? Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promise fail for evermore? Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies? Selah. And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High. I will remember the works of the Lord: surely I will remember thy wonders of old. I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.”
In Psalm 9:9-12 and 18, David stated:
- “The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee. Sing praises to the Lord, which dwelleth in Zion: declare among the people his doings. When he maketh inquisition for blood, he remembereth them: he forgetteth not the cry of the humble…For the needy shall not always be forgotten: the expectation of the poor shall not perish for ever.”
Indeed, God is not like selfish, fickle man, that promise to care and love you today but turn their backs on you tomorrow or that are faithful to you today but forget about you tomorrow. He never changes and his love for his children is everlasting.
Given God’s character, in Isaiah 49:14-16, the Prophet, speaking on behalf of God, stated to the children of Israel, God’s chosen people, reassuring them of his faithfulness, even in their season of drought:
- “Sing, O heavens; and be joyful, O earth; and break forth into singing, O mountains: for the Lord hath comforted his people, and will have mercy upon his afflicted. But Zion said, The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me. Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.”
Indeed, when it comes to God, no matter what we are going through, how difficult, how prolonged, how it seems like everyone is making progress in their lives while we remain stuck, unable to move forward and oppressed by satan’s many darts, God HAS NOT forgotten us. He knows what he is doing and there is not one child that he neglects or forgets about. He is a good Father, the best that one could ever have.
As Charles Spurgeon put it:
- “You may fear that the Lord has passed you by, but it is not so: he who counts the stars, and calls them by their names, is in no danger of forgetting his own children. He knows your case as thoroughly as if you were the only creature he ever made, or the only saint he ever loved. Approach him and be at peace.”
Even where we have messed up and sinned against God in some way and he chastens us sore (as we deserve), given his character, even where we have failed, once we have genuinely repented of our sin, we have reason to be hopeful in him. Psalm 147:11 tells us that “The Lord taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy.”
Luke 12:6-7 also reminds us:
- “Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.”
(Written on 23rd April, 2023)
Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be interesting, informative, beneficial or edifying, you may also be interested in reading the following:
- Note 25 – When Loneliness And Impatience Set In
- Note 26 – Musings From The Pit – Praise Your Way Out…
- Note 27 – The Overflow
- Note 28 – The Fivefold Purpose Of Suffering
- Note 29 – Facing Adversity? – Go Through It…
- Note 54 – Cause Me To Be Seen Lord
- Note 67 – Will There Ever Be Such A Man?
- Note 70 – Has He Forgotten Me?
- Note 71 – Keep The Right One From Me Lord, Until…
- Note 75 – The Danger Of Impatience – He’s Taking Too Long
- Note 106 – Are Some Of God’s Children More Loved And Favoured Than Others?
- Note 108 – Pain – God’s Tool For Our Spiritual Development
- Note 112 – Lessons I Have Learned From The Lazarus Story
- Note 126 – Will He Make It?
- Note 127 – I Believe That It Is Possible, Even Now
- Note 132 – Yes I Am Single (For Now) And I Am Not Married (As Yet!)
- Note 135 – Are You At A Low Point In Life And Feeling Depressed Or Distressed?
- Note 136 – How I Used My Single Years To Pray, Preach, Plan and Prepare
- Note 137 – Who To Marry?
- Note 142 – Single Woes – The Battles We Singles Fight Everyday
- Note 146 – Three Idols In the Church: Getting Married, Having Children and Working A Secular Job
- Note 150 – What the Bible Has To Say About Singleness, Marriage and Widowhood
- Note 160 – When Serving God Doesn’t Seem To Make Sense
- Note 164 – Seven (7) Mindsets That Will Keep You Stuck In The Land Of Sterility
- Note 181 – I Wish I Were ‘U’
- Note 186 – The Pain I Felt In My Series Of Pit Experiences
- Note 193 – God Calls Me Hephzibah
- Note 194 – It Is Well
- Note 195 – When God Promises To Write-On A Write-Off
- Note 196 – A Hopeless End Or An Endless Hope?
- Note 197 – Left For Dead… Then Resurrected
- Note 198 – Tired, Weary And I Don’t Know What To Do?
- Note 199 – God Comforted Me!
- Note 211 – Dear Christian, Ever Felt Like You Had No One?
- Note 213 – God – Sometimes Silent But Ever Present
- Note 222 – Suffering? Bad Attitudes That Will Only Make It Worse
- Note 254 – Eight (8) Reasons Why You May Still Be Single
- Note 261 – Seven (7) Ways To Do Single With A Good Attitude While Hoping To Be Married
- Note 263 – Eight (8) Lies The Enemy Will Tell You As A Single Christian Woman
- Note 264 – Lord, Why Aren’t You Blessing Me?
- Note 269 – Possible Benefits Of Marrying Late
- Note 274 – I Being In The Way, The Lord Led Me – A Match Made In Heaven
- Note 287 – The Wait – The Period Between The Promise And The Manifestation Of The Promise
- Note 289 – My Jabez Prayer
- Note 312 – Running Out Of Time But Still Single