315. CELEBRATING LIFE, THOUGH SINGLE

(The Single Woman Series – Batch 5)

There is a general feeling that, if you’re single, you can’t celebrate life but I’m like, oh really? I must be an exception to the general rule then because I certainly intend to celebrate mine. For, this joy that I have was given to me by God and so, whether single or not single, it overflows. Mind you, I certainly have my down days but this joy that I have inside, I can’t get rid of it. God has placed it there and so I can be joyful in ALL circumstances (to the point where I know it baffles those around me) and even in singleness.

The thing is, as nice and as honourable as marriage is (and I think it is wonderful and still hope to experience it one day!), my identity lies not in a man, a marriage or having children of my own. If it did, then this would be idolatry. My identity lies in Jesus Christ. Even without the so-called ‘perks’ of life therefore, I am complete in Him because in Him lieth the fulness of the Godhead bodily (Colossians 2:9-10).

There was a time when the thought of taking formal photo shoots was simply unheard of for me, as something reserved for my one-day future engagement shots. As we age though, time brings reason and greater maturity of thought.

It dawned on me some years back: Why wait? Yet, I deferred and procrastinated but then the thought hit me again recently: Why wait? I therefore resolved to do the shoot, of me, in celebration of life, of all that I have been through with my Lord (and we have been through a lot!) and how He (nobody else) has beautifully kept and preserved me throughout the years.

If Prince Charming comes (and yes, to even get my attention, he will need to be a Prince, as in a bona fide child of the King, a lover of truth and grounded in sound doctrine, serious about the Lord, committed to the call, prepared to sacrifice whatever for the sake of his Lord, capable of loving, humble but confident leadership, able to teach me from the Word, generally selfless, thoughtful and considerate of others, imperfect (even as I am) but striving to grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ), that will be awesome. He must of course, know how to have fun, how to laugh and enjoy life, as I don’t do boring.

Should the good Lord send such a man, worthy of me entrusting the rest of my life into his hands and making submission easy, we will certainly take more beautiful pictures then! But in the meanwhile, whether he comes or never does, you will find me here…celebrating life.

After all that I’ve been through, all the attacks, the valleys, the pain, the adversities and the heartaches, I think I deserve it. On 8th June, 2022 therefore, by the grace of God, I will be travelling to a neighbouring island and having my pictures taken, both at a Hotel (which I’ll be using for makeup and outfit changes) and at a beautiful garden. Praise God!

I don’t know how things will work out but I’ve been thinking, that every big thing I do, I want the Lord with me, as part of it. I have therefore been thinking that I want at least one of the pictures to be with me holding the Bible and maybe reading it. This is important to me as God’s Word is my life. It is what has kept and succoured me all these years.

Dear God, that you have created me and kept me, is indisputable. That you have saved, justified, redeemed and upheld me in your great love toward me, is unfathomable. That you have sustained and succoured me, both in mountainous, lofty heights and deepest, dreariest valleys is undeniable. And for this and more, I give you praise, as is due unto your awesome name.

“For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How PRECIOUS also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!” (Psalm 139:13-17)

I am super excited about the professional photo shoot which is to take place in a few days! I’ve never done this before in all of my life (although people have commented here and there that I have that model look), so I hope that everything comes out well and that the Lord is glorified in it all.

I have a vision for the shoots and have been asking God to work it all out and beautifully. He is able to use the hands of the Makeup Artist and the Photographer, to bring it to pass.

Notably, I don’t want a vibe that is sexy, seductive, hot, provocative, skin-baring, aggressive and fierce as is the case with most photo shoots of women that I see today. As I’ve said on many occasions before, the place for sexy, hot, provocative and seductive is behind closed doors with my one-day husband.

Instead, for my photos, I want modest but attractive, classy, elegant, lady-like, regal, sophisticated, refined and demure. This is who I am at heart and as a child of the King, I want that reflected in the shots.

Cheers to my upcoming photo shoots! Father in heaven, please let it be a success and look good!

Dear Single Lady, single or not, some of life is to be enjoyed. Some of life is to be celebrated.

(Written on 18th May, 2022)

ADDENDUM

Didn’t think I’d be writing a sequel to the above Article but here goes:

I’ve seen my pictures and I am honestly blown away by the results. There are about twenty or so that I absolutely love!

I’ve always said, based on my experience, that the best things in life, you never have to go looking for. By God’s grace, they tend to come to you, easily and effortlessly, without you having to fight to find them. This is so true.

I had a vision for my photo shoot but because I am not a professional at this, I asked the Lord to help me bring it to pass. In retrospect, I believe he did, in more ways than one.

For example, I had planned to wear a white long-sleeved top with a black skirt and a yellow summer-vibe dress as my two looks. I was all ready and set, until the lady who was supposed to do my makeup and take the shots, unexpectedly and strangely cancelled, one week before the day, citing personal reasons.

Feeling saddened, I may have just forgotten about the whole thing but I had acquired those outfits for the photo shoot and now it felt like I had wasted my efforts. This caused me to decide not to throw in the towel but instead, to look for someone else to help, which I did. I found someone online but she lived on a neighbouring island. Getting to her would therefore require me to catch a flight or take a boat ride. Nonetheless, I decided to make the trip, as I considered the sacrifice to be worth it. The Makeup Artist recommended some photographers, I chose the one I liked and so a new date was set.

Given that I had more time, I decided to try to look for the burgundy shoe that I had ideally wanted to wear with my white top, black skirt and burgundy handbag. I had not been able to find this before, so I had given up on it and resolved to just wear a black shoe.

I visited a clothing and shoe store with the intention of looking for this burgundy shoe. Yet, what can I say? God has a sense of humour.

No sooner had I entered the store (filled to capacity with dresses on racks), than one dress, in the midst of other dresses, somehow caught my eye. In retrospect, how it did, I am not sure, as it was nestled between other dresses in a whole row of dresses. Yet, somehow, my eyes turned in its direction and landed on it and all I can say is that it was love at first sight. Ironically, it was a burgundy dress. Maybe that’s why I saw it, as I had the burgundy colour on my mind, for the shoe I needed to get.

Strangely, dresses don’t usually look as nice on the rack in my view, as when you put it on and sometimes you can’t tell how it will fit until you do but somehow, this one was different. It outshone all the other dresses in the store in my view (although clearly, I hadn’t looked at all), by the quality of how it had been sewn. It looked like it was made out of some kind of material that, while some may call it satin, looked superior to satin. The cut also seemed impeccably refined and I knew that this had to be a high quality dress. It looked like it didn’t belong in that store and like a diamond misplaced among stones. In my view, although looks could be deceiving and it could turn out to be a disappointment when tried on, this dress had the potential to be the dress of my dreams!

I picked it up, although I did not come to get a dress and don’t ever wear burgundy clothing, as I have always been of the view that the colour does not suit me (but somehow this one looked different). Before I knew what I was doing, I was in a booth and trying it on.

There was only one of it, the one I had seen and it fit like a glove, meaning it seemed custom-made just for me! It certainly helped that I had lost a significant amount of weight recently or else I would not have even been able to get into it. Yet, the fit was perfect and complemented my figure perfectly. It had clearly been sewn by one of the best, as it sat like a high-end dress on me, the kind that you would pay thousands of dollars for.

Yet, the price was quite economical. I could not believe it when I asked the price. Were they crazy? How could such a dress look so good yet be so affordable? Did they mix up the price labels or something? I came to the conclusion that they clearly didn’t know what a gem of a dress this was and so right then and there, I resolved that it was coming home with me! I paid for it and I told myself, that it had to feature in my photo shoot!

In retrospect, I believe that God led me to that dress, knowing exactly what kind of pictures I had wanted and he allowed me to get it at a price that was affordable. I had wanted a classy, sophisticated, elegant, regal, Audrey-Hepburn sort of vibe and without knowing exactly how to get that look, this dress, which conveyed that and more, suddenly presented itself to me!

It so turned out that it was the high point of my photo shoot, putting all my other outfits to shame. I am so glad that I saw it when I did, was able to afford it and got to wear it for that day, as the white outfit I had planned to wear was a bit of a let down (based on the pictures) and the yellow, while nice, did not scream “classy”.

Yet this dress did. Honestly, if I could have found one dress in the world that represented me perfectly in terms of my personality, I would say that this dress was it. It seemed custom-made for me, as if someone carefully studied me and then created a dress that would fit my personality and the look I wanted to pull off.

Of course, I had to make some adjustments (like pinning the slit lower and wearing an inside black vest) to make it modest enough to wear but I am so pleased and blown away by the results!

As if this was not enough, based on advice from my Make-Up Artist and partly due to inclement weather on the day of the photo shoots, we did not take most of the pictures at a Botanical Garden as we had planned but all were done at a Hotel! The Hotel, which was practically empty at the time but for a few people here and there, gave no fuss whatsoever and we took shot after shot in different beautiful spots there. This only served to enhance the backdrop and reinforce the classy vibe I had wanted!

All things truly worked together for good and I am so thankful to the Lord. Thank you Lord for your help and how you brought everything together. I give you all the praise, honour and glory.

I got some excellent shots and looked awesome in my burgundy dress!

I had planned my ensembles but I believe that God had this dress in mind for me. My outfits were on one level but he took it to a whole new level. He did away with my plans, which, though I thought they were excellent at the time and would fit my vision, God had better in mind. The outfits I had initially planned, now fade in comparison to the quality-vibe of this dress. For, God provided exceeding abundantly more than I could have ever imagined or could think.

I am so thankful that it all came together. It is my best look yet. If ever by God’s grace, I were to one day marry though, I sincerely hope that I will be able to find something that will look even better. As tough as it will be to outdo this look, I know it is possible The key is to ask God for his help and even as he did for my photo shoot, if it is his will for me to wed, I believe he will help me find the dress that would be just perfect for me and my vision, for that BIG DAY as well.

One lesson I have taken away from this whole thing is that reminder, that the best things in life, you don’t need to go searching for. God is able to provide the best and what is perfect for you, without you having to worry your head and stress about it. I didn’t go searching for that burgundy dress. It found me. I wasn’t even looking for a dress but I believe that God wanted me to wear it for that look that I had envisioned and so he worked things out for me to see it in the store, allowed me to get it at an extremely affordable price and I just so happened to have lost the right amount of weight to fit in it.

Similarly, on another note, I am reminded that I am doing the right thing in not looking for a spouse. Yes I still want to be married but I have submitted all of my plans to God’s will, so that he will have his way in my life, however he sees fit and in his own timing. If it is his will for me to be married, then I shall be married and to the very best, for me. I don’t need to go looking for this man. He will find me. He will find me because once my getting married is on God’s calendar and agenda, then, like with the high quality burgundy dress, the God of all provision, will send him to me.

Proverbs 10:22 reminds me that, “The blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.” Ephesians 3:20 also tells me, even as I experienced with the dress, that he “…is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us…” For, it is “…not by might, nor by power but by my spirit, saith the Lord” (Zechariah 4:6).

(Addendum written on 30th June, 2022)

Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be interesting, informative, beneficial or edifying, you may also be interested in reading the following:

• Note 5 -‘Scriptures To Help Single Women’
• Note 9 -‘Tidbits God Deposited Into My Spirit As A Single Woman’
• Note 14 -‘Feeling Depressed? Realign Your Focus!‘
• Note 15 -‘What Are You Wearing And Does God Approve?‘
• Note 25 -‘When Loneliness And Impatience Set In‘
• Note 52 -‘Bringing God Glory On The Road From Being Gloriously Single To Graciously Married‘
• Note 59 -‘Nine (9) Tips For The Single Woman Hoping To Be Married’
• Note 67 -‘Will There Ever Be Such A Man?‘
• Note 68 -‘My Detailed List – What I Want In A Divinely Compatible Spouse‘
• Note 71 -‘Keep The Right One From Me Lord, Until…‘
• Note 75 -‘The Danger Of Impatience – He’s Taking Too Long’
• Note 129 -‘Single Daughter Of God, Wait!‘
• Note 132 -‘Yes I Am Single (For Now) And I Am Not Married (As Yet!)‘
• Note 135 -‘Are You At A Low Point In Life And Feeling Depressed Or Distressed?’
• Note 136 -‘How I Used My Single Years To Pray, Preach, Plan and Prepare’
• Note 137 -‘Who To Marry?‘
• Note 142 -‘Single Woes – The Battles We Singles Fight Every Day’
• Note 146 -‘Three Idols In the Church: Getting Married, Having Children and Working A Secular Job’
• Note 150 -‘What the Bible Has To Say About Singleness, Marriage and Widowhood‘
• Note 253 -‘Seven (7) Practical Things You Can Do While Waiting On Your Prince Charming’
• Note 254 -‘Eight (8) Reasons Why You May Still Be Single‘
• Note 255 -‘This Daughter of the King – Dear Potential Suitors‘
• Note 261 -‘Seven (7) Ways To Do Single With A Good Attitude While Hoping To Be Married’
• Note 263 -‘Eight (8) Lies The Enemy Will Tell You As A Single Christian Woman‘
• Note 272 -‘Woman, You Have Worth!‘
• Note 275 -‘How God Wants Us To Treat With Our Idols’
• Note 311 -‘How To Make A Man Love You‘
• Note 312 -‘Running Out Of Time But Still Single‘