(The Single Woman Series – Batch 5)
Today, given my age, how long I’ve been single, how lonely I’ve been feeling throughout the years and with increased intensity lately, I went browsing the Facebook pages of friends of friends, hoping maybe to come across the page of someone that was a respectable Christian, who I found attractive and who, from his profile, seemed serious about God.
Although I did this, of course I turned up nothing and soon reminded myself of the danger of inviting strangers into one’s life, even those who attend Church and seem to be godly. For, you never know what trouble you may be ushering into your life by reaching out to strangers so, despite how much you may desire a spouse, to just get on with a courtship (finally) and to marry, you realize that because your judgment as a mere human being is limited and therefore, that you can make mistakes in assessing people’s true character and motives, you have no choice but to continue waiting on the Lord.
“And what if he never sends him?” was the question posed internally. “Well”, I reasoned, “as scary as that sounds and as much as I hate even thinking of the idea of spending the rest of my life in this same state as a single woman, the reality of the matter is, even if God never sends him, you still need to not go out on your own and look for him.”
Whatever was I advocating? Well, I was advocating completely trusting God’s will, his way and his timing in everything, irrespective of the outcome, even if things didn’t turn out the way I had hoped or dreamed.
I counseled myself, “Let God have HIS way, whatever that may be. Let him do his thing, whatever he has purposed for that to be.” For, as I was reminded, the factors that people often use to assess whether someone is marriage-material as a Christian are superficial, inadequate and often times deceptive.
For example, you can’t tell a person’s character, heart, walk with God and the extent to which you are compatible, based on how the person looks, based on his family background, his position and popularity in the Church, his academic achievements, financial status, his career, work experience and work ethic. A person could have a glowing report in these areas (to your mind and even to others) but still end up being of horrible character, abusive and not even a genuine Christian.
You need the Lord to assess him for you. For, he knows each person inside out, his past, all about his present and what he will be and do in the future. He knows those who are his and which of his children are serious about him and which aren’t. He knows if that man that you’re eyeing, who seems to be the perfect gentleman today, will one day, depart from the faith (because he was never really genuine), take comfort in alcohol and even become abusive. He knows who will cheat, who, though seemingly successful in their career and hardworking, love money to the point where they are dishonest in business.
God knows. We can’t possibly hire investigators to dig up all of a man’s past and to monitor his present operations, so as to presented with a comprehensive report to guide us as to whether he is the one.
No. We can’t do that but on the other hand, marriage is such serious business, courting is such serious business, that we cannot afford to get it wrong.
What do we do then? We take it to the Lord. We rely on HIS judgment, HIS assessment. We let HIM do the sifting and the selecting and the orchestrating and the choosing. For, whatever God chooses for us is best. If he approves of a husband for us, then we know that this is a high quality man. And God is so awesome, I have always said and firmly believe, given that marriage is to symbolize the relationship of Christ (the bridegroom) with the Church (his bride), that, in this Church age, God will not force us into any relationship that we don’t want to be in. I believe that, given that it is his desire for there to be mutual love and fervency in that love between husband and wife, that he will work on our hearts in such a way, that our level of attraction for the one that he gifts us, on all three dimensions: the spiritual, emotional and physical level, would be mind-blowingly high.
In short, while we can’t trust ourselves, we can trust God to not make a mistake and to send us someone that gives us that butterfly-in-our-stomach kind of feeling and excitement. But more than that: We can trust him to provide us with a high quality gentleman, a man that loves the Lord, that will love us to the core, be invested in our holistic welfare and success and know how to lead the family that God gives him, lovingly.
(Written on 15th February, 2022)
Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be interesting, informative, edifying or beneficial, you may also be interested in reading the following:
- Note 22 – ‘When God Recommends Him’
- Note 25 – ‘When Loneliness And Impatience Set In‘
- Note 42 – ‘When That Door Wouldn’t Budge’
- Note 70 – ‘Has He Forgotten Me?’
- Note 71 – ‘Keep The Right One From Me Lord, Until…’
- Note 73 – ‘Wait For Your Ice Cream’
- Note 142 – ‘Single Woes – The Battles We Singles Fight Everyday‘
- Note 148 – ‘What Does The Bible Say About Being Unequally Yoked With An Unbeliever?’
- Note 268 – ‘Making The Wrong Decision Can Be Costly – When You Don’t Wait On The Lord To Introduce You To Your Spouse‘
- Note 287 – ‘The Wait – The Period Between The Promise And The Manifestation Of The Promise‘
Additionally, under the ‘BIBLE-BELIEVING Daughters’ Page:
- Note 222 – ‘Frustration In His Silence’
Additionally, under the ‘COURTING OR ENGAGED Daughters’ Page:
- Note 37 – ‘What Does It Mean To Wait With A Good Attitude?’
- Note 58 – ‘Possible Benefits Of Marrying Late’
- Note 62 – ‘I Being In The Way, The Lord Led Me – A Match Made In Heaven’
- Note 63 – ‘Who To Marry?’
- Note 65 – ‘What Is Time But A Tool For God To Use?’