(The Single Woman Series – Batch 4)
Many single women who have professed to know the Lord Jesus Christ, adopt a negative mindset and attitude during their single season. They desire to be married and while they wait for God to bring that man into their lives that they have dreamed of (if it is his will to do so), they often sit around sulking, bitter, harbouring resentment against God for the delay, envying and hating on those who they hear are in a relationship or that are getting married and using their lips to speak much evil, in the form of badmouthing, gossiping or news mongering.
Yet, for those who desire to be in a relationship and married, while being single and for a prolonged period of time can be difficult and painful, it is possible to do singleness with a good attitude! It is possible to conduct yourself in such a manner while you are waiting, that God will be pleased with you.
If you are a single Christian woman that is hoping to one day be married, I would like to suggest just seven (7) little attitudes that you can adopt during your single season, which will be sure to please God and bring him glory.
These are as follows:-
1. Be CONTENT in whatsoever state you find yourself.
Yes you wish you were married, quick and that you had a family but the reality is that at this moment in time, you are not and nobody has yet approached you.
Instead of sulking and complaining and allowing bitterness to fester at what you consider to be your unfortunate and unfair situation, you can be content in this season that God would have you to be in.
In Philippians 4:11, Paul stated: “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”
You must learn to be the same. God knows best and if after all your prayers and fasting for a husband, he has seen it fit for you to remain single at this point in time, whether this is a permanent call or temporary, you need to be content. You can certainly desire more but you must get to the place where, instead of feeling discontented with life, you accept your call and God’s will for your life, knowing that if he wills you to be married, he will work it out in his own way and time.
In short, you can have a heart’s desire without setting your heart on it. It is possible to be content where God would have you be at the moment, even if you desire more for your life one day.
In 1 Corinthians 7:17,20-22 and 24 Paul stated:
- “But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches… Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather. For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord’s freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ’s servant… Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.”
Therefore, if God has called you to singleness (whether for a lifetime or just in this season), abide in that call with God, rejoicing in the spirit of contentment and thanksgiving.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us: “In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
2. TRUST God’s plan for your life and his timing which is best.
Many times, single women panic because they don’t trust God enough and his plan for their lives. Yet, he is the all-wise God and does everything well. He understands us better than we understand ourselves and he is at the beginning, while also being at the end.
He is Alpha and Omega, the one that created us and if we are genuinely saved, he has also redeemed us. He is a God that is trustworthy and in who we can put all of our trust. Even where we cannot trace him because our understanding is limited, we can still trust him. We should therefore let go of trying to control our lives and our outcomes and let God have his way.
Several scriptures in the Bible vouch for the complete trustworthiness of God and his reliable character which is unchanging. Man cannot be trusted but in him, we can put all of our trust.
Proverbs 3:5-6 states: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he will direct thy path”.
Psalm 9:10 reads: “And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.”
Psalm 118:8 reminds us that: “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man” and Isaiah 12:2 states: “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.”
Finally, Psalm 112:6-7 declares: “…the righteous shall be in everlasting remembrance. He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord.”
3. Have strong FAITH in Jesus, reminding yourself that he could change any situation in an instant, if he wishes to do so.
To be content with where God would have us be in this season or even permanently and to rest in full confidence and trust in his will and his call on our lives, we must have strong faith in Jesus.
We must have faith that he is God the Son, that his ways are best, that he is all powerful and that if he wills it, as soon as he wills it, he can turn our season around easily. For, nothing is too hard for him to do.
It doesn’t matter if there seems to be nobody in your Church or in the group of Churches to which you are associated, to marry. It doesn’t matter if you can’t see a quality man on the horizon (as is my case) and you are at present, surrounded by elderly people. It matters not if you are getting down in age and you wonder about your biological clock and whether your parts are working and your eggs still fertile.
All of that is irrelevant simply because you serve a BIG God and he is able. There is no limitation with him and no restriction on heaven’s supply. If and when God wills it to be so, he will pour you out that blessing of a high quality, God-sent husband and put you in the sort of relationship that will bring him glory. Also, if he wills it, despite your age, he will bring conception to your womb and cause you to bring forth a healthy bouncing baby or even two!
In Genesis 18:13-14, after Sarah had laughed in her heart because she did not believe that God would give her a child when she was in her nineties, as he had promised, God responded by saying to Abraham:
- “Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old? Is any thing too hard for the LORD? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.”
In Matthew 19:26, Jesus responded similarly to the question that his disciples posed about the difficulty of a thing, by stating: “With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.”
In Psalm 113:9, it states of God’s magnificent and limitless power: “He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.”
Psalm 68:6 also states: “God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.”
4. PRAY effectively, fervently, persistently, fully believing that God can and will grant your request.
You can only pray in a manner pleasing to God if you have genuine faith in him, his power, his will and the purposes he has for you in his agenda. If you believe that he truly is able and all powerful and that no matter what things look like, he can change your season, then pray in faith.
James 5:16 states that: “…The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”
1 Thessalonians 5:17 urges us to: “…pray without ceasing…”. For, the God that we serve loves persistence, as we saw in the parable Jesus gave with the widow and the Judge in Luke 18:1-8.
We saw the results of the effective, fervent prayer of Hannah, in the Old Testament, who was barren and being provoked by her husband’s second wife Peninnah because she had given birth and she Hannah was unable to. Desperate for change, she did not take matters into her own hands but went to God and poured out her heart about all that she was going through, the ridicule, the hurt and her desire to be a mother.
God heard her and in response, he opened her womb (as only he could do) and gave her not just one son but other children as well.
5. If you believe that God is going to change your season, then start to PLAN for the future, in faith.
If you believe in faith that God will grant your petition (as Hannah did after she had fervently and effectively cried out to the Lord in prayer), then there is nothing wrong in you beginning to act as though the miracle is already done! This is especially the case if you believe that in response to your prayer, God found a way to speak to you and let you know that he intended to do it but that you should wait.
I can’t tell you what preparations to make. This will differ from person to person. However, nothing is wrong in you demonstrating your faith that God will do and has told you he would do it, by you engaging in certain actions in preparation of that change in season.
That is exactly what I did, although I am still waiting and I have no regrets.
6. SAVE those dollars. You’re gonna need it for that Wedding.
This is self-explanatory and is along the same theme as point 5. If you believe that God is going to grant you your petition and send a high quality man your way, then if you want a really nice Wedding, you will need some really good finances. You need to therefore prepare by saving where you can, toward that one day vision.
7. Keep WORKING for the Lord.
Too often, single women sit around idly, wasting time, when they should be using that season to advance God’s Kingdom business. Whatever gift or gifts God has given to you, you should be using it in this season, even as you await your promotion from single woman, to girlfriend, fiancé and ultimately wife. Why should God provide a husband for you if you refuse to work for him in the spiritual vineyard?
Had I waited until God sent my husband to open my Hephzibah Diaries Facebook Pages and Website, you wouldn’t be reading this now. For, I am writing all this as a single woman!
Don’t let your desire to be married become such an obsession, that it paralyzes you to the point of stagnancy, due to sadness, discontentment and desperation.
Get up and get. There is a gospel to spread. There are souls in need of salvation and Christians that you can use your gift or gifts to edify.
(Written on 3rd August, 2019)
Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be beneficial, informative, interesting or edifying, you may also be interested in reading the following:
- Note 7 – ‘I Wanted A Husband So I Petitioned The Throne Of Grace For One’
- Note 9 – ‘Tidbits God Deposited Into My Spirit As A Single Woman’
- Note 12 – ‘Placing God At The Wheel Of My Future Love Story’
- Note 14 – ‘Feeling Depressed? Realign Your Focus!’
- Note 16 – ‘I Already Know – I Will Have An Extraordinary Story’
- Note 24 – ‘The Road From You (Boaz) To Me (Ruth)’
- Note 25 – ‘When Loneliness And Impatience Set In’
- Note 52 – ‘Bringing God Glory On The Road From Being Gloriously Single To Gloriously Married’
- Note 54 – ‘Cause Me To Be Seen Lord’
- Note 56 – ‘Rebekah, Zipporah And Ruth – How They Got Found’
- Note 59 – ‘Nine (9) Tips For The Single Woman Hoping To Be Married’
- Note 63 – ‘When My Turn Comes…’
- Note 64 – ‘I Want To Look Resplendent’
- Note 65 – ‘It Is Such A Privilege To Be Presented’
- Note 67 – ‘Will There Ever Be Such A Man?’
- Note 70 – ‘Has He Forgotten Me?’
- Note 71 – ‘Keep The Right One From Me Lord, Until…’
- Note 72 – ‘Qualities That Got Women Noticed And Eventually Married To Good Men In The Bible’
- Note 73 – ‘Wait For Your Ice-Cream’
- Note 74 – ‘The Devil Is A Liar’
- Note 75 – ‘The Danger Of Impatience- He’s Taking Too Long’
- Note 126 – ‘Will He Make It?’
- Note 127 – ‘I Believe That It Is Possible, Even Now’
- Note 132 – ‘Yes I Am Single (For Now) And I Am Not Married (As Yet!)’
- Note 135 – ‘Are You At A Low Point In Life And Feeling Depressed?’
- Note 136 – ‘How I Used My Single Years To Pray, Preach, Plan and Prepare’
- Note 137 – ‘Serve God Wherever And In Whatever You Are Called’
- Note 142 – ‘Single Woes – The Battles We Singles Fight Everyday’
- Note 150 – ‘What the Bible Has To Say About Singleness, Marriage and Widowhood’
- Note 160 – ‘When Serving God Doesn’t Seem To Make Sense’
- Note 164 – ‘Seven (7) Mindsets That Will Keep You Stuck In The Land Of Sterility’
- Note 175 – ‘I’ve Got No Time To Mind Anybody’s Business’
- Note 177 – ‘Dear Christian, Is God Calling You To Do Something?’
- Note 179 – ‘What I Have Learned About Obeying God’s Call In Ministry’
- Note 182 – ‘Sitting Still’
- Note 188 – ‘Bring God Glory: Build With Excellence’
- Note 215 – ‘Our Difficulty Is God’s Opportunity’
- Note 218 – ‘Just One Thing May Be Holding You Back’
- Note 222 – ‘Suffering? Bad Attitudes That Will Only Make It Worse’
- Note 253 – ‘Seven (7) Practical Things You Can Do While You Wait On Your Prince Charming’
- Note 254 – ‘Eight (8) Reasons Why You May Still Be Single’
Additionally, under ‘BIBLE-BELIEVING Daughters’:
- Note 169 – ‘The Christian’s Mandate: Go’
- Note 193 – ‘Woe, If We Preach Not The Gospel’