258. THE MAN OF THE WORLD VS THE MAN OF GOD
(The Single Woman Series – Batch 4)
There is a difference in the way a MAN OF THE WORLD (someone that has no relationship with Jesus) and a MAN OF GOD (someone that has relationship with Jesus) operates. The philosophies of these two men are polar opposites and it is demonstrated in how they treat women.
If you are not a Christian, you may see no difference between the two or even find the man of the world to be more appealing because you have not yet accepted Jesus Christ, THE LIGHT. Like the man of the world, you are still in darkness and are therefore blinded by the enemy’s deception.
If you are a Christian however, through discernment, you should be able to spot the differences (so to speak) between these two types of men. One is spiritually alive whereas the other is spiritually dead and it reflects in the way they think and how they treat the women around them.
Having said all that, I’ve compiled a list below of some of the characteristics of a typical man of the world and then I’ve compared them with those of a typical man of God. While there are exceptions on both sides of the spectrum, what I’ve listed below is what you can generally expect from a man of the world, whether you find him at work, at a function, on a plane, on the streets or even in the Church.
CHARACTERISTIC 1 – The man of the world tends to be disrespectful in his speech and conduct toward you.
Outside of Christ, the man of the world doesn’t have the dignity and respectability that comes only from relationship with the Lord. He may dress nice but he is clothed in sin and is therefore spiritually in tatters. If he is unable through blinded eyes, to understand his value and purpose in life, he will certainly not see and understand your God-given value and worth, as a human being, as a Christian and as a woman.
On the other hand, the godly man operates with respect because he serves and knows a respectable God. As a by-product, you being one of God’s best creations, he therefore sees your worth and appreciates your God-given value. He demonstrates this consistently by treating you with the dignity and respect that you deserve.
CHARACTERISTIC 2 – The man of the world tends to focus only or mainly on your physical appearance.
The man of the world is mainly interested typically, in how you look, your body, your shape and your physical beauty. He is only interested in your body, not who you are as a person or your soul or your personality or your mind or your life story and purpose. He isn’t interested in the package of all that constitutes you, only how your body could potentially satisfy his lustful desires.
On the other hand, the godly man knows God placed you here for a purpose and he is interested in all of your story. He is intrigued by your character, your morals, your beliefs, your outlook on life, your unique personality, your mind and all that you are. He is excited about God’s plans for your life and all he created you to be and he sees you as a person.
CHARACTERISTIC 3 – The man of the world tends to engage in filthy, cheap, talk.
All the man of the world typically sees you as is a sex object, not a person and this flows from his speech. It is mostly if not entirely, unproductive, vulgar and corrupt.
On the other hand, the Godly man’s talk is sound, edifying, uplifting, pure, encouraging, wise, interesting, profitable and Christ-glorifying.
CHARACTERISTIC 4 – The man of the world tends to be impatient and rushed.
The concept of waiting is foreign to a man of the world. He selfishly wants whatever he wants, now. Courting, getting to know someone and waiting until marriage to get physically intimate is foolish to him. He will not even exercise patience in his initial conversations with you but will jump straight to what interests him, which is your body and how it can please him. It is all about him.
On the other hand, the godly man takes quality time to get to know you, what makes you tick and enjoys this time with you because he likes who you are as a person and in time, if it is God’s will, grows to love you. There is no rush. He understands that building a proper and sturdy foundation for a relationship is important, so he puts Christ at the centre of all interactions. Mind you, the godly man is a man at heart and is still attracted physically by what he sees but he will exercise self-control and patience, for these are virtues manifested by the Spirit within him, which he has from God. He relies on God constantly for strength to endure and he waits patiently until he has committed himself to you completely by marriage, in the sight of God and earthly witnesses, before becoming physically intimate with you.
CHARACTERISTIC 5 – The man of the world tends to be selfish.
The man of the world cares not about what you want or your standards or your beliefs. It is only about what he wants. The world revolves around him and his life and his satisfying all of his desires.
On the other hand, the godly man puts Christ’s interests and your interests above his own. He truly esteems you better than he does himself as the Word of God requires of Christians. When he says he loves you, he does not mean that he sees you as an avenue to benefit himself but that he wants what’s best for you, wants to see you succeed in life, he sees your beauty (not just physical) and wants to be the one to invest in a lifetime of contributing to you, as you develop and become all that God created you to be.
CONCLUSION
On the whole, the list above is not exhaustive. There are other differences but you get the picture.
If you are a Christian lady and say you love Jesus Christ, then you are no longer in the domain of darkness but have been brought out into God’s glorious light. Have nothing to do therefore with the man of the world. He is not relationship material and he is NOT for God’s precious daughters. He may mean well but his master is the devil and all he wants to do is kill, steal and destroy your dreams, your dignity, your future and your testimony.
(Written on 01st August, 2019)
ADDENDUM
This morning, I visited a governmental office to transact some long overdue business. There, I was greeted in passing by a guy, who I thought was from a neighbouring village. He often hailed me out whenever he passed me on mornings, at the junction of the area where I lived. I would be standing there throughout the week, waiting on my arranged transportation. On one or two occasions, he had also seen me on the streets in the town and on one such occasion, had struck up a bit of a conversation with me.
Sensing that he was interested in me, I quickly let him know, as I tend to do guys of the world, that I was a Christian and I also mentioned what family I belonged to, them being known for having Christian values. This tended to ward them off quick, them realizing that I was focused on my Lord and not on a fling or on guys who had no interest in my Lord.
This morning though, as I sought to exit the compound of the office and was attempting to make my way out of the street and unto the main road on foot, to catch a taxi back to work, someone beeped their horn at me. When I turned, it was the same guy and he was also on his way out of the governmental compound. He was signaling that he could give me a ride back into town and so, although I felt a bit uncomfortable (as I could tell from his previous behaviour that he was at least physically interested in me), I did not want to appear discourteous and so I entered the vehicle. When opening the door, I informed him that getting up into the van might pose a challenge, as I had injured my foot. He told me something to the effect that I should take my time, I made it up, sat down and he drove off.
Soon after, he turned all the glasses which were tinted, up, although I would have much preferred that they stay down. The day was overcast and therefore not hot but I sensed that he did it to create a cosy vibe. This made me feel quite uncomfortable but I did not feel that I was in any serious danger.
On the ten-minute drive back to town, I asked him if he was from the neighbouring village, which is where I thought he came from, when he passed me on mornings. He told me though, that he was from the very same village as I was, which surprised me. He told me further that he was the neighbour of the man who transported me on mornings, he having noticed me get into his car on a few occasions.
I figured that he did not spend all of his life in the village I was from, as I had often walked through the village to School and Church as a child and even in the gully area where he said he lived. He confirmed this but said that he knew my mother and my aunts and had even carried blocks to the house where my mother grew up, when it was being built.
Having established that, he asked if I was going back to work, to which I answered in the affirmative. He then asked if I was still working at the place that he knew I was working at, he having met me on the road in the vicinity of that building, a few times. Given that I had never told him I was working there, as far as I recall, I found the statement a bit presumptuous. Nevertheless, I said yes, to which he then asked what kind of work I did. The line of questioning becoming a bit too much, I informed him that I would not be divulging that, as, given my years of living on another island where the crime rate was high, I had learned to keep certain information private. I joked that I could be a spy for the government, to which he replied, that he believed that I was.
However, not put off by my clear refusal to answer, which was meant as a polite indication that he needed to back off and stop asking me so many questions, he then had the nerve to ask how I got home on evenings.
This was going a bit too far and my caution meter was on high alert. I told him that sometimes I took a taxi and sometimes got home through other means. This was the truth, as sometimes my uncle, who also worked where I worked, would give me a ride home. On most evenings though, I stood at the area where cars from my village would pick up passengers, sometimes for long periods of time. The answer was meant to brush him off therefore but he stubbornly persisted.
He said that he could maybe give me a drop on some evenings, to which I replied, if he saw me. I had never seen him in the area where I stood on evenings and so I hoped that I would never see him then, as I did not wish to ever go back into his vehicle. In addition, his line of questions was making me uncomfortable and I did not wish to have that feeling while in his vehicle and all the glasses turned up, ever again.
At some point, he took out one of his business cards which stated that he did electrical work (apparently on a part time basis, apart from his full time job with the government) and told me that I could call him if I needed work done or when building my mansion.
I questioned when that would be and told him that I was looking for my mansion in heaven.
Not to be dismayed, he told me that even if I had no electrical work to be done, I could call him up sometime or send him a text. His words bordering on ridiculous, I was upset but tried not to show it. I found him to be disrespectful in making clear and persistent advances when I was not interested. I told him that I would never do that, as that was not me. He told me that we could be more “transparent” (whatever that meant) and insisted that I could call or text him. Careful to ensure that I did not send any message that I was interested, when I was not, I repeated that I would never do that, as that was definitely not something that I would do. Shockingly, he replied, that I should never say never or some nonsense to that effect.
He then blatantly told me that sometimes it was good to think outside of the box and boldly and almost scornfully asked where I went to, other than just work and Church or work and home. It was said in a condemning manner, as if to suggest that I was not really living and that he had much more to offer outside of the limited box that he figured I was in. I could not believe this man’s audacity! Clearly irritated by my resisting his persistent indications of interest, he began to come across as a bit angry and impatient, although he tried to hide it.
I told him that I was quite comfortable in remaining in the box that I was in, as that was where the Lord had me and that was therefore the best place to be.
He repeated that I should come out of my box sometime, to which I repeated that I was quite content where I was.
I could hardly wait for the journey to end as this man was being blatantly disrespectful. He was also cutting occasional stares at me, while driving, which made me feel uncomfortable, as I could tell that they were lustful looks.
At one point, he stated that he wanted an invitation to attend my Church. I told him that there were many Churches around and any person who wished to attend could freely do so, as they did not need an invitation. He then said that he wanted to attend when I was attending, as he would not know anybody. Knowing that he was not serious but was still making subtle advances, him refusing to accept that I was not interested in whatever he was offering, I reminded him that he had said that he knew my mother and other family members. They also attended the same Church as I.
He then said that he wanted to go with me or something to that effect, to which I replied that it was not good to go to Church with ulterior motives, which he had. He feigned innocence at my reply, asking why I would think that he had ulterior motives and denying that he had.
The conversation was growing old quickly and I was getting quite tired of his nonsense to be honest. I could hardly believe how this man, which was practically a stranger to me, had behaved from the moment we left the governmental office, right up to that point.
Counting down the time until I reached my destination, I tried to make the atmosphere not seem tense and so commented as we passed a School, that I did not know why it had been built how it had been built, as it looked more like a hotel, although it needed to be repainted.
He replied insultingly with a bit of what seemed like irritation in his voice, that they built it like that because they were thinking outside of the box, unlike me.
Thankfully, we were approaching closer to the town at that moment. I could not wait to get out of this man’s vehicle. Based on additional questions and statements that he made, I told him that all these questions were a bit spooky and that I would therefore not be answering anymore.
He was making me uncomfortable and did not seem to care. He clearly had a one-track mind, to make some kind of headway with me before the end of the trip, in terms of a relationship or to pave the way for his being with me physically (which is how most men of the world think) and was clearly irritated that I did not express like interest.
I found his behaviour, line of questions and persistence, in not accepting that I was not interested in him and would never be, to be subtly aggressive and highly disrespectful.
He probably mistook me for a daughter of the world or did not care that I was not. Having no regard for my parents, who he said he knew, the fact that I was a Christian, living to please God, content to remain where God would have me and not at all interested in his enticements, he practically badgered me with questions and statements that made it clear that he had one thing on his mind and did not want to take no for an answer.
Not having his way and to be spiteful, he did not drop me in front of the building where I worked, although he knew my foot was injured. He abruptly told me when we approached a nearby Mall, that he was going in the next direction and stopped the vehicle for me to get out.
I understood what he was doing and did not mind. A gentleman with the right motives, would have dropped me closer to my workplace, especially in light of the fact that he was the one that offered to pick me up and that my foot was injured but of course, he being a man of the world and his advances having been repeatedly denied, he was clearly being vengeful due to his hurt pride.
Me not returning his advances, I felt like I had been thrust out of his vehicle and I was reminded, that the man of the world selfishly USES and DISCARDS, when he no longer sees any benefit in his pretending to be nice. Contrastingly, the man of God, that is led by God is sincere and selfishly INVESTS and ENHANCES. Even if things don’t work out because it is not God’s will for you to be together and he is disappointed, he will continue to treat you with dignity and kindness, understanding that everything in life, does not revolve around him.
I got out of the vehicle, thanked the man for the ride and told him deliberately, to remember that serving the Lord Jesus was the most important thing in life. He muttered something to the effect that he was (although I knew it was the last thing he wanted to hear) and drove off.
The weather being overcast, light rain drops began to fall and so I took out my umbrella, bracing myself to make the track up the hill from the Mall and then to walk across the road to where my work was. God is so good though, that scarcely had I gotten out of that man’s vehicle, opened my umbrella and taken two steps forward, that someone called out to me from another vehicle that was behind his, asking if I was going to work. It was a lady who also worked in the same building as I. I did not know her very well but I gladly entered her vehicle, thankful for the ride that she offered.
The Lord had provided and right on time and it is possible that that despicable man may have seen that I got alternative transportation!
While I wait in my “box”, as the man put it, I am also trusting him to provide a man of God, who he has handpicked for me and right on time. If he does not, I will remain single and stay in my box and that will be fine, so long as I remain on the path that God wants for my life.
When I got to my office, I tore the man’s card up and put it straight where it deserved to be, in the garbage. I then thought to myself, as I remembered how he tried to insult me in making out my life to be boring and limited (as in his view, I only seemed to go to Church and work, when he clearly had other plans for the destructive and self-serving path he wanted to take me on), that once God provided my future husband, we would go wonderful places together, all within the perfect will of God!
The incident reminded me though of the difference between the man of the world and the man of God who is serious about his relationship with the Lord.
The man of the world is selfish, lust-driven and wants to remove the daughter of God from the right path that God wants for her life. He does not like taking no for an answer and can be persistently disrespectful and dishonourable in his behaviour. He does not care one thing about the woman he displays interest in, only in serving himself and his passions.
A man of God that was interested in me, would have been expected to be respectful in his treatment of me and would not have seen the need to insult me, as this man tried to do a few times on that journey. If the man of God realized that I was not returning his respectful advances of interest, he would not have kept pestering me as this man did. He would have left it alone and let God have his way, even if rejection hurt.
Also, the man of the world is looking for someone to warm his bed physically and immorally but the man of God is looking for a wife, someone to love, care for, protect, provide for and to spend the rest of his life with.
I find the men of this world, for the most part and their approach to the object of their interest, to be repulsive. They have nothing to offer me but pain and destruction. They can think what they like and say what they like but I will continue to wait in my box for a man of God, a man after his own heart, a honourable man and a gentleman.
In retrospect, I am shocked at how accurate my previous assessment, written five (5) years ago, of the man of the world was. This man proved every point and on that short occasion! In only ten minutes, he was disrespectful in his speech, focused only or mainly on my physical appearance, engaged in non-edifying, cheap, talk, demonstrated impatience, behaved as if he was in a rush and clearly had a selfish, pleasure-seeking agenda when he picked me up that morning.
I am hopeful now, for balance, that the Lord will send a man of God, the man that he has appointed for me to marry, so that I can do a further Addendum here, as to how he nobly comported himself when interested in me and how his behaviour lined up with the dignified points raised above.
Even so Lord, send him in your perfect timing!
(Addendum written on 05th August, 2024)
Dear Reader, if you found the above Article interesting, beneficial, informative or edifying, you may also be interested in reading the following:
- Note 8 – ‘My Quick Ten Point Checklist – Is He The One?’
- Note 20 – ‘Equation For Relationship Success’
- Note 21 – ‘When He Doesn’t See Your Worth’
- Note 51 – ‘Characteristics Of A Counterfeit’
- Note 53 – ‘God-sent vs. Devil-sent – The Difference’
- Note 58 – ‘To Tell If He’s The One Put On Your Spiritual Glasses’
- Note 68 – ‘My Detailed List – What I Want In A Divinely Compatible Spouse’
- Note 131 – ‘What I Need In A Spouse’
- Note 145 – ‘Does He Love You or Lust You?’
- Note 148 – ‘What Does The Bible Say About Being Unequally Yoked With An Unbeliever?’
