(The Single Woman Series – Batch 4)
We’ve probably all heard the advice that is usually given to a single Christian woman who is interested in marrying but Prince Charming is taking a little long to come. She is told to spend time doing God’s work and to focus on growing in the Lord.
This is excellent advice and I too recommend that she do just that. For, whereas a man is only for this life and is therefore temporary, relationship with Jesus is forever.
However, while the advice given is good, it rarely ever includes the practical side of things. Apart from spiritual preparation (which should not be to get a husband, mind you but should be so that you are ready for heaven), you may be wondering, what are some of the practical things that a single Christian woman can do to prepare for her God-sent spouse (if it is God’s will for her to have one), while she waits?
Well, I would like to propose a list of activities below. Now these are not cast in stone or mandatory precursors to a relationship, as each person is different. The important point to take away though is that you can get busy doing something while single, instead of sitting around twiddling your thumbs, eating, watching television and feeling sorry for yourself, as that Wedding invitation you just got from a friend, sits guiltily on your coffee table.
SEVEN (7) PRACTICAL THINGS YOU CAN DO TO PREPARE WHILE YOU WAIT ON YOUR PRINCE CHARMING:
1. LEARN TO COOK
Learn to cook, improve on what you do know and create a book or file in which you store your recipes under headings e.g. rices, meats, legumes.
You’ve been praying for a husband and kids but you do know that when they come, you’re going to have to feed them, right? There is a saying, that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. This is not a biblical statement and I don’t know how true it is but I know that men generally love to eat. So, if you can’t cook and refuse to learn, yet you want to get taken off the market by a quality gentleman, you’re doing yourself a disservice.
I personally created a recipe book on my computer years ago under different headings and added recipes to it whenever I tried something new or improved on a dish. I delighted in the fact that one day, by the grace of God, I would get to serve my husband, children and people in general with those very dishes and it so happened, that I started serving people before my husband even arrived.
In addition to participating in a Church Cook-out Competition and being selected at another Church to cook Christmas Lunch by myself for an entire youth group of about forty (40) people, one such project involved me having to cook some of the dishes for about seventy-five (75) needy Venezuelans at a Church I attended and I did just that out of a tiny apartment I was renting at the time.
Given all the classes, online recipes, books, YouTube videos and information available at our fingertips today, you have no excuse.
Most godly men are looking not just for a woman but for a wife and having the ability to cook and cook well is high on their list of qualifying priorities. Titus 2:5 makes it clear that a married woman’s main role is to be a keeper in the home. How are you going to keep the home as a married woman, if you can’t handle the heat in the kitchen?
2. GO FURTHER YOUR EDUCATION AND SKILL-SET
You dear lady, have time in abundance. If funds permit, go further your education, skills and training, in any area you feel led by God to go study. This will take your mind away from your single state, while serving a useful purpose at the same time.
What are you passionate about? If and when that man comes, there may not be time to pursue studies or to enhance skills anymore. Needless to say, you may be busy pushing babies out, so you want to tick education off your list, if you can, beforehand.
This is also important in the event that Prince Charming comes along, does a wonderful job in providing for you and your family but then suddenly dies or turns away from the Lord and walks out on you, as has been the case with many women (including Christian women) around the world. Come what may, you want to make sure you have skills and an education that will make you marketable in the world of work, whether or not a man is in the picture.
Nip that behind in shape. You’ve been praying and praying about a husband but you do know that men are visual creatures right? You know that being fit is good for your health and promotes long life right? You know that if Mr. Right suddenly shows up and things work out and he pops the question, that you want to look your best when you walk down that aisle right? You do know that there is something called a honeymoon which takes place right after the Wedding and that first impressions count right?
I know not a lady that does not want her husband to be in complete awe of her on her Wedding night. This is especially true of women who, in obedience to God, have kept themselves for marriage. It includes even those virgins that waywardly and rebelliously played around in some measure prior to marriage but have still kept their virginity by not joining themselves sexually to any man. For all women, the night of the Wedding is important but for virgins (myself included), the honeymoon takes on even more significance, as it is supposed to, as they want to put their best foot (and in this case, body) forward. Additionally, you do know that being in shape increases your fertility (in most instances) and can therefore impact on your ability to conceive, right?
If you know all of what I’ve just stated and you agree, then what are you waiting for? Don’t let ice cream deceive you any longer. It does NOT have your best interest at heart. Even on those days when you break your diet and end up with a few more pounds than you’d bargained for, don’t stay stuck there. Get up, start fighting again and get that unwanted weight off.
4. BECOME A STUDENT OF RELATIONSHIPS
Have you been reading, watching, listening or attending to anything on relationships and family life or are you waiting until that man shows up to start?
Why not be proactive? Invest in your future by getting some good Christian reading material, attending relationship Seminars and watching other successful Christian couples on YouTube. Ask the Lord to guide you first though, as to what to read and look at, as not every book or YouTube channel that promotes itself as Christian or serving Jesus is authentic or has good and truthful information. Be discerning therefore.
Ask other Christian couples that you admire, what they used to prepare during their single and courting years and get ready preparing for the success of your future relationship.
It is because I spent several years studying relationships, men and family life, that I am able with God’s help, to share the material I am sharing on this Page and also my other Pages. You can too.
5. DO SOME TRAVELLING
Seriously, who doesn’t like to travel? If funds permit, why not go on a trip somewhere, occasionally? This is fun and it will take your mind off your singleness. Besides, it will give you some interesting material to talk about, if and when Mr. Right does show up. You’ll be able to say that you traveled to this place and to that, which makes interesting talking material. You’ll also look cool saying it.
Seriously, if you can afford it, then why not?
6. UPGRADE YOUR MAKEUP, HAIR, WARDROBE AND OVERALL LOOK
If funds permit, get yourself together. You are responsible for the package you present to the world. Are you branding yourself in a manner that is attractive to those you meet? Why not take a makeup class to learn how to best apply makeup minimally to enhance your features? You can learn this for free on YouTube. After many years of trying and failing, I finally learned how to fix my eyebrows expertly, from a video on YouTube. Now people meet me all over the place and stop to ask who did my eyebrows.
Even if you don’t like makeup, unless you have perfect skin, why not begin doing at-home facials? It is not difficult or expensive at all and will improve the texture and tone of your face. Whatever your problems may be, be it acne, face scarring or otherwise, there are products you can get over the counter or online to improve your appearance and to make you glow. Of course, as a person who loves junk food, I can tell you from experience, that your diet also impacts on these efforts, so take in lots of water daily and try to get in as many fruits and vegetables as you can.
Also, why not revisit your wardrobe? I personally believe that this should be done every few years so that you sort of re-invent or re-brand yourself. You want to make sure that you are presenting your best and most attractive self to the world and this does not have to be expensive. Whatever God has given you, you can work with it.
If you’re hoping to attract a decent, God-fearing man of God, aim to please God first. Throw out all your skimpy, cleavage-bearing, tight and sexy outfits. You are aiming to look attractive, not sexy. You want to market yourself as a wife, not a concubine (which is a woman whose role is just for sex). (SEE Note 3 under ‘COURTING OR ENGAGED Daughters’ entitled: ‘Concubine or Wife?’ and Note 5 under ‘SINGLE Daughters of God entitled: ‘What Are You Wearing and Does God Approve?’)
Sexy, which comes from the root word ‘sex’ is for your Wedding night, after your husband has put a ring on your finger. If you think that the best thing about you is your body, then you are not ready for Mr. Right because you are too vacuous in your thinking.
God-fearing men want a woman that, though she will be imperfect is attractive and knows it without being vain about it, dresses modestly, walks in humility but yet has confidence, is interesting in personality, exciting in temperament and has good character and substance. Once you are married, you get the rest of your life to do the sexy thing for his eyes only, not the whole world’s.
On the whole, you should use your single season to get your visual act together. By way of a real life example, I know a Christian woman who got slighted in a love relationship. The man she had hoped she would one day marry, suddenly ended the relationship. Maybe she cried, maybe she went through her sad moments as is the norm when our hearts have been broken but admirably, she did not stay there.
By God’s strength she got up, resumed her normal living and took things to the next level. For, it was evident to all who saw her, that she had either attended a makeup class or looked at makeup tutorials because whenever she went out, her face suddenly looked transformed, professionally done and beautiful. She did not wear heavy makeup but used just the right amount and in the right way, so as to enhance her God-given features. It was clear to all that she had taken inventory as to the package she was presenting to the world and decided to upgrade, big time. Not surprisingly, it wasn’t long before she got noticed by a Christian guy (perhaps more honourable than the first), got honourably courted by him (as far as I am aware) and she is now, to all appearances, a happily married woman.
7. GET INVOLVED IN SOMETHING
Whether it be a cause that you are passionate about, an area of Ministry that you feel led to birth or whatever it is, get busy doing it. Ruth didn’t find Boaz by sitting down and doing nothing. She was determined to find food for her Mother-in-law and herself and so she went out and got to it. In so doing, she aced the most eligible bachelor in that City.
God has been so good to all of us, that irrespective of how we look, our backgrounds or our situation, he has given all of us some talent (and if we are Christians, at least one gift) to work with. He gave me the ability to write, to explain stuff, discernment and wisdom from his Word to understand some issues in life. I therefore use it to write about issues that I’m passionate about, including reminding women of their value in God’s sight and helping Christian women to make the right choices as they seek a fulfilling and equally yoked marriage relationship in the Lord.
Although the virtuous woman mentioned in Proverbs 31 was a married woman with children, somehow, I don’t think that before she got found by her husband, that she was sitting around doing nothing but eating, crying and feeling sorry for her single self. More likely than not, her work ethic, sense of service, excellence and selflessness were inculcated in her psyche, long before she met that man and so when he came, she simply continued along those lines.
If you can’t think of anything that you can use your talents or gift/s to do to make the world better, then I don’t think you’re yet ready to meet that man because you haven’t figured out yourself enough yet. Also, if you know what you could be doing to reach people for the better and you choose not to, then I don’t think you deserve to meet him yet because you are still stuck on selfishness. Think outside of you for a change and consider ways that God can use you to reach out to a hurting world. You can’t help everyone but there is at least one person in whose life you can make a difference.
In concluding, the reality is that not every single Christian woman desiring a spouse will be granted one by God. A woman can do all seven (7) things above and more, yet still remain unmarried (SEE Note 36 under ‘COURTING OR ENGAGED Daughters’ entitled: ‘The Formula – How To Get A Husband’).
There is no formula that can be applied by anyone to ensure that you end up hitched and therefore, doing the things listed above will not guarantee that you will walk down that aisle. However, engaging in the above list, makes you more useful to yourself, to society, increases your attractiveness in the world of love relationships and is an excellent way to practically prepare for your one-day Prince Charming, if you are waiting in faith and hoping that he will one day come.
The list is by no means exhaustive. There are many other practical things that you could be doing in your single season, that can impact positively on your future relationship, if you were to ever be granted one. As they come to mind, why not get busy doing them?
(Written in either 2017 or 2018 and added to on 04th May, 2020)
Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be interesting, informative or edifying, I recommend that you also read the following under the ‘Courting or Engaged Daughters’ Page:
- Note 36 – ‘The Formula – How To Get A Husband’
- Note 37 – ‘What Does It Mean To Wait With A Good Attitude?’
Additionally, Articles under the ‘SINGLE Daughters’ Page:
- Note 52 – ‘Bringing God Glory On The Road From Being Gloriously Single To Gloriously Married’
- Note 56 – ‘Rebekah, Zipporah and Ruth – How They Got Found’
- Note 59 – ‘Nine (9) Tips For The Single Woman Hoping To Be Married’
- Note 72 – ‘Qualities That Got Women Noticed And Eventually Married To Good Men In The Bible’
- Note 136 – ‘How I Used My Single Years To Pray, Preach, Plan and Prepare’
- Note 137 – ‘Serve God Wherever And In Whatever You Are Called’
- Note 263 – ‘Seven (7) Ways To Do Single With A Good Attitude While Hoping To Be Married’