(The Single Woman Series – Batch 4)

Tonight, I saw a video on YouTube by someone professing to know Christ, which disturbed me. The man who made the video, claimed that in God’s eyes, marriage means sex.

He stated that, once a man and a woman had sex, they were married, not according to the government’s earthly system but in God’s eyes. He therefore tried to give the impression, that all that was needed for a man and a woman to be married was not a Marriage Certificate or any legal system or Ceremony but simply for them to have sex with each other.

THIS IS SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH! It is a lie from the very pit of hell.

I have since said a prayer for this man, as this statement is a LIE and can be quite misleading to those who hear it. He was clearly deceived, not a genuine Christian but an imposter and because he was leading people astray with this falsehood, I saw it fit to respond by placing THE TRUTH under his video in the comments section.


Joseph got married to Mary without yet having sex, which meant that there was a ceremonial aspect recognized within the culture from since back then, whereby people got married, separate and apart from sex.

To say that sex is equivalent to marriage is dangerous, as it would then condone and permit common law relationships, once the man and woman had sex with only each other. It would mean that people can fornicate with the same person over and over and call themselves husband and wife and say that they don’t need to have any ceremonial aspect conducted and don’t need to recognize the law of the land. Once the law of the land does not contradict scripture, we are to render unto Ceasar the things that are Ceasar’s.

Marriage is NOT equivalent to sex, although it is consummated by it. That is why Joseph was able to take Mary unto himself as his wife in Matthew 1:24-25, without yet consummating the union. If there is no ceremonial part where a man and a woman make a PUBLIC DECLARATION that they are married and if this is not supported by the law of the land (the law of the land not being in conflict with the Word), then it is NOT a marriage in God’s eyes.

Some insight into the ceremonial and PUBLIC aspect involved in a marriage back in the Bible days, (without sex) is clearly seen in Matthew 25:1-10 with the ten virgins, five of whom were foolish and five wise. If sex was what constituted the marriage, then there would have been no need for virgins to accompany the bridegroom with oil in their lamps to attend any marriage ceremony.

All that would have been required was the man and the woman agreeing between themselves only, that they would be husband and wife and then for them to engage in sex.

Clearly, this is not the case.

The Bible clearly makes reference to a ceremony involving the PUBLIC, whereby as part of the process, the ten virgins were supposed to have oil in their lamps and then to go in to the place where the marriage was being conducted. Verse 10 states of the five foolish virgins who did not have oil in their lamps when the bridegroom came, that: “…while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and THEY that were ready went with him TO THE MARRIAGE: and the door was shut.” This MARRIAGE was therefore a PUBLIC ceremony and not sex.

There was even a MARRIAGE conducted PUBLICLY in Cana that Jesus was invited to and attended in John 2:1-2, where the wine ran out. The Bible states: “And the third day there was a MARRIAGE in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there. And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the MARRIAGE.”

Jesus attended, his mother attended and his disciples as well and they even received invitations!

In Luke 14:8-10, Jesus also gave a parable which confirms that there was a PUBLIC procedure involved whereby a man got married to a woman in the Bible days and guests (witnesses) were therefore invited to a feast, to PUBLICLY mark the occasion. In verse 8 he stated:

“When thou art bidden of any man to a WEDDING, sit not down in the highest room, lest a more honourable man than thou be bidden of him; And he that bade THEE and HIM come and say to thee, Give this man place; and thou begin with shame to take the lowest room. But when thou art bidden, go and sit down in the lowest room; that when he that bade thee cometh, he may say unto thee, Friend, go up higher: then shalt thou have worship in the presence of THEM that sit at meat with thee.”

Without a doubt therefore, MARRIAGE was constituted in the Bible days and especially in the New Testament days, through a PUBLIC CEREMONY of some sort, which came BEFORE sex.


After what I wrote above, a further study of the Word of God reveals even more examples confirming all that I said above to be TRUE. For example, in Matthew 22:2-12, Jesus gave a parable, stating:

  • “The kingdom of heaven is like unto a certain king, which made a MARRIAGE for his son, And sent forth his servants to call them that were BIDDEN to the WEDDING: and they would not come. Again, he sent forth other servants, saying, Tell them which are bidden, Behold, I have prepared my dinner: my oxen and my fatlings are killed, and all things are ready: come unto the marriage.
  • But they made light of it, and went their ways, one to his farm, another to his merchandise…But when the king heard thereof, he was wroth…Then saith he to his servants, The WEDDING is ready, but they which were BIDDEN were not worthy. Go ye therefore into the highways, and as many as ye shall find, bid to the MARRIAGE. So those servants went out into the highways, and gathered together all AS MANY AS THEY FOUND, both bad and good: and the WEDDING was FURNISHED WITH GUESTS. And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a WEDDING GARMENT: And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless.”

The above parable that Jesus gave, gives us valuable insight into what was considered the norm in the Bible days, when it came to marriage. In particular, the following is noted:

  1. The Father of the son hosted an event, the event being his son’s marriage;
  2. He sent out invitations to guests through his servants;
  3. There was going to be food at this wedding. It certainly seemed to be a lavish affair, as oxen and fatlings were killed for the event;
  4. He expected a significant number of guests. For, when those who he had invited refused to come, he got replacements and the Word of God says that the servants “…gathered together all as many as they found…and the wedding was furnished with guests.”
  5. It was normally expected at such an event, that guests would wear clothing becoming of a Wedding. Hence, when a man was found among the guests without a wedding garment, it was found to be unusual.

This therefore reinforces the fact that having sex does not mean that a man and a woman are married in God’s eyes. Having sex is not marriage but fornication, a sin that God detests. If two people having sex made them married, then there would have been no need for the king in the parable that Jesus told, to host the PUBLIC event he did for his son, which Jesus referred to as a MARRIAGE.


It is clear from the Word of God, that sex (while viewed as very important to God and only approved of if done in a marriage) is NOT in itself, a marriage, nor is it equivalent to marriage. If you have sex with someone without (1) first having a PUBLIC ceremony of some sort as is recognized in your culture, so as to be joined together and (2) adhering to the laws of the land on the issue (where those laws don’t conflict with scripture), then you are NOT married in God’s eyes but have fornicated, which is a sin that he hates.

Additionally, it is important to point out that the Church operates under the new covenant referred to in the New Testament and not what applied or may be construed to have applied to the Israelites when they were under the old covenant, as recorded in the Old Testament. To ignore the clear teachings of the New Testament therefore, in preference to what you think the Old Testament stated in relation to the Israelites and how two people became married is a wrong approach to take.

Also, to twist the scripture to say that Adam and Eve in the Old Testament never had a Marriage Ceremony but that sex is what made them man and wife is ridiculous. They were never children either! Does that mean that all the rest of humanity was wrong to have been born as children?

Apart from Adam and Eve having lived in Old Testament times, they were the first of God’s creation and the only two people who he created the way he created. Everybody else came through them. Sex was therefore not necessary for them to be created but the way that God designed things, all other human beings could only come from the fertilization of an egg from a woman and a sperm from a man.

In any event, although Adam referred to Eve as bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh and as his ‘wife’ in Genesis chapter 2:23-24 and the Bible acknowledges that that is what she was in verse 25, it is interesting to note, that we only hear of Adam becoming intimately acquainted with his wife sexually, after they had sinned and been cast out of the garden, in Chapter 4:1. It seems clear therefore, that Adam and Eve were husband and wife up to some point, BEFORE they began to have sex. When Adam referred to Eve as his wife in Genesis 2:24, it is clear that they had not yet had sex, her just having been presented to him by God. There was still a PUBLIC DECLARATION made in the sight of God, though brief and it was only God and them, there being no other people on the face of the earth, at the time, to serve as witnesses.

One cannot therefore compare what happens now and what happened in the New Testament times with what transpired with the first two people that God created and how he brought them together.

Furthermore, to say that sex is what constitutes a marriage and nothing else or to imply same is to say that there is no such thing as ‘pre-marital sex’ and no such thing as ‘fornication’.

Think about it: If this flawed and diabolical doctrine from the pit of hell was to be accepted, it would mean that once a man and a woman had sex with themselves only and they were each other’s first, that they were married from the first time they had sex and therefore were not guilty of fornication.

So what then is fornication? It is clearly a term mentioned in the Bible as SIN. To say that it would only exist if one of the above persons cheat is not accurate. For, if they consider themselves to be married by sex, then if one of them cheats, that one would not be a fornicator but an adulterer.

The whole concept of marriage through sex is therefore ludicrous at best.

This false doctrine by someone who purports himself to be a man of God and with a large following is NOT from God but from the devil. For, the objective is to mislead people into hell, by making them think that there is no such thing as fornication.

If sex equated to marriage, then the New Testament would have made no mention of the ‘bride’ and the ‘bridegroom’. You cannot have a bride and a bridegroom with a MARRIAGE Ceremony of some sort, involving PUBLIC WITNESSES and in accordance with cultural practices and the laws of the land.

We need to examine every Preacher, Teacher and Prophet as the Bereans in the Bible did, by holding them to the yardstick of the Word of God. Acts 17:11 states of the Bereans, that they did not just accept everything they were taught. They searched the scriptures for themselves to determine if what they heard was true. The Bible states of them: “These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.”

The only way to tell whether a Preacher, Teacher, Pastor or Prophet is lying, false and is therefore promoting the devil’s agenda and not God’s is for YOU to know the scriptures yourself.

If God says one thing and they say another, no matter how persuasive they sound or how large their following, their teaching is false. (SEE Article 88 where I addressed this issue of false teachers, pastors and prophets in greater detail).

Given that Bibles are widely available today, both as hard copies and on the internet, we have no excuse for not studying it, so that we can know what is truth and what is a lie, for ourselves. Having someone teach us is good but we remain individually accountable to God for our responsibility to feed our Spirit with the Word, the Bible.

2 Timothy 2:15 exhorts us: Study to shew thyself approved unto God unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

(Written on 8th September, 2018, added to thereafter)

Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be interesting, informative, edifying or beneficial, you may also be interested in reading the following:

  • Note 88 – ‘Ten (10) Red Flags That That Speaker Or Teacher Is A Wolf Disguised In Sheep’s Clothing Or Operating Under The Devil’s Deception.
  • Note 18 – ‘Riches, Abundance, Breakthrough & Promotion – Lies From The Pit Of Hell’
  • Note 20 – ‘Twelve (12) Indicators Of A Healthy Church’
  • Note 27 – ‘You Cannot Command Your Morning Or Day’
  • Note 28 – ‘Our Words Have Power – A Lie From The Pit Of Hell’
  • Note 98 – ‘The Real Meaning Of ‘Ministry’
  • Note 99 – ‘Are You Serving The Real Jesus?’
  • Note 162 – ‘The Spirit Of Prophecy’
  • Note 163 – ‘What Is The Gospel Of God?’

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