156. TEN (10) DISTRACTIONS FOR THE CHRISTIAN WOMAN TO AVOID
(The Faith Forum Series – Batch 3)
Anything (and I mean anything), that keeps you or attempts to keep you from Christ is a distraction.
This is probably why Paul in the Bible, a man who had been graced by God with forgiveness and salvation when he believed on the resurrection and Lordship of Jesus Christ and confessed him as same, stated “For I determined not to know ANY THING among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.”
In the world we live today, there are many distractions to the Christian, coming from a multiplicity of directions. These compete for and want to take most of our time, attention, devotion, prioritization and even our heart’s focus.
Based on my own experience, although there are numerous distractions which want to take our focus away from Christ, there are ten (10) main ones that we as Christian women need to monitor carefully and be on our guard against.
These distractions are not evil in themselves and may even seem harmless to the average person. However, they hold the potential, if not managed properly, to be dangerous, as the devil can use them calculatedly to steal our focus away from Christ.
Jesus is the only one deserving of our worship and to be on the throne of our heart but the enemy works relentlessly and overtime, to cloud our vision and to remove our focus, through these things. If we are careless, not watchful and ever on our guard, one or more of these things can start off as a distraction (which is bad) but become an idol (which is even worse) because it has grown in importance to the point where it displaces and dethrones Jesus Christ in our hearts.
Let’s take a look at the ten (10) distractions of which I speak. Some are interrelated, which make them all the more dangerous.
I admit and have confessed to the Lord, that at times, I have allowed these distractions to make inroads in my mind and heart. They must be kept at bay and in tow though, by constant self-examination based on the lens of God’s Word. For anything and anyone we put before or above God is an idol and God hates idolatry.
These ten (10) distractions are as follows:-
1. A man, or the idea of having a relationship or family
The desire to have a love interest, be in a relationship, get married and have a family, can become a major distraction in the life of the single Christian woman.
Sometimes, there may be someone in her life that she puts on such a high pedestal, that if she continues promoting him in importance, he will soon become more important to her or higher in priority, than the Lord. She may aim to please this man over and above the Lord or if she is single and not yet in a relationship, she may be so fixated with the idea of getting a boyfriend, being in a relationship, getting married and having her happy ever after, to the point where it becomes an obsession.
The world has an unwise adage: ‘Get rich or die trying’ but for her, she appears to adopt a similarly unwise mindset which is to get a man or die trying. For, having a boyfriend, getting married or having a family of her own is all that she can think of and all that she is waiting for. She therefore ceases working for the Lord while she waits or she does a little something but not as much as she could and she can’t imagine life as worth living without that Prince Charming coming and taking her away from what she deems to be her awful loneliness.
Having a man in one’s life and the idea of a relationship and eventual marriage can be such a distraction for women, that the enemy has crafted something that looks like the gospel but is not. For, the aim is not to submit to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and to serve him but to merely use his name manipulatively with the promise that if you do certain things and live out certain biblical principles, he will bless you with a man of your own. The aim of the women who subscribe to this teaching then is not to get to Christ and to selflessly love him better in obedience, submission and devotion but to figure out the formula (when in truth and in reality, there is none), to use the name of Jesus and to align oneself with it, so as to get a man, end up married and in so doing, avoid the ‘terrible plague’ of singleness.
It is not therefore, just the so-called ‘prosperity gospel’ that is now being spread. The enemy has gone further to introduce a so-called ‘relationship gospel’, which is particularly appealing to the single woman, desperate to get married, so as to escape the single life.
This false ‘relationship gospel’ tells women that the principles of Jesus are to be followed in some measure, not because he is Lord and the one that fashioned, created and brought them into this world for HIS purpose but so that he (Jesus) can be used and manipulated into giving them the spouse they desire to have so badly. Women find themselves therefore working hard, not because of a genuine relationship and walk with the Lord and to please him but as a strategy, which they have been told will pay off big returns in the form of a husband.
This is not true Christianity but idolatry. For, these women want to get a man and a husband so badly, that they are prepared to try to use the idea of Jesus to get what they want.
Then there are others who do have a man, husband and family but love him and their family to the point of worship. That is, they have allowed the boyfriend, husband and family to take all or most of their focus and all or most of their time, Jesus having been placed on the back-burner as less important.
In essence, such women live for the men in their lives or their families and not for Christ. Indeed, some love their families or that man so much, that they are prepared to turn their backs on blatant biblical TRUTHS for the sake of their loved ones. In this regard, their actions show that they have pledged allegiance to their family members or that man and not to Jesus Christ.
2. Entertainment
For the Christian woman, if she nurtures any growing need for entertainment, this has the potential to become a distraction.
Entertainment is defined by Wikipedia, as “…a form of activity that holds the attention and interest of an audience or gives pleasure and delight.”
When it comes to Christians, Jesus did not save them to be entertained or to entertain others but to serve as his ambassador, to go into all the world and preach the gospel and to use their gifts and talents for the edification of the saints and the advancement of His Kingdom business.
Yet, today, instead of pressing into Jesus, promoting the gospel, spending time with the Lord in prayer and studying his Word so that they can grow in His knowledge and grace, many people who have professed Christianity, seek out different forms of entertainment to bring satisfaction to their flesh. They want that which brings pleasure and delight, often to the point where their lives become filled with different forms of entertainment and their focus is no longer on the Lord.
The world has many forms of entertainment and not to be left out, people who profess Christianity, have seen the need to come up with what they regard as ‘Christian entertainment’ as well.
On the whole, entertainment or that which brings the flesh pleasure or delight, could come from the television, internet, radio and other forms of technological devices. It includes movies, television shows, music, songs, dramatic productions, that which is referred to today as ‘the spoken word’ and dance and extends to pretty much anything that is taken in by hearing or sight, which brings a person delight.
If a Christian woman is not careful, she can become consumed in such ‘entertainment’ and think that this is what the Christian life is about or that it is a major part of it, when in truth and in fact, it is not. Having fed her flesh with a constant diet of entertainment, she may begin to think of the Christian life as a bore without it, when Christianity was never predicated on entertainment to begin with.
There is absolutely no mention, as far as I can recall, of Jesus’ disciples or Jesus himself, entertaining the people or seeking out entertainment to bring satisfaction to their lives. Yet, this is what many people today who have professed to know Jesus as Lord and claim to be following him, do.
When it comes to music, sadly, today, there is a new contemporary kind of music called ‘Christian’ music that sounds nice, causes you to sway, where the artists hold many concerts and even attend popularity award events to be rewarded for what they have created and how well they have ‘entertained’, just like what the world does.
Many such artists, although claiming to be producing ‘gospel’ music are promoting an experience and this is not true worship but a cheap imitation. It is more about entertainment and the artist’s place in the so-called‘Christian’ charts of popularity, than on the seeking of lost souls with the good news of salvation and the edification of the saints. On the whole, the reverence, soberness and sacredness involved in truly worshipping God is lost in such so-called ‘Christian entertainment’. I wrote about this trend in more detail in Article 168 entitled, ‘THE PROBLEM WITH MUCH OF TODAY’S SO-CALLED ‘WORSHIP’ MUSIC.’
3. Technology
Technology is defined as “…the application of scientific knowledge for practical purposes.” Today, we live in the very centre of a technological era and every day, seemingly, something new is being invented, on the basis that it will make the life of mankind better and easier.
Undoubtedly, technology has its benefits. Without it for example, we would have no electricity, no vehicles, no oven to cook in, no television, no telephone and no internet.
Yet, if the Christian woman is not careful, technology can become a monster, where it takes centre stage in her life. She can become so attached to it that she lives for it or thinks that she cannot live without it, when in truth and in fact, Jesus is, was and will always be her life source.
Today, to foster greater interaction without seeing people face to face, several social mediums like WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and YouTube have been created. Like technology in general, these have their benefits and can be used for good. However, they have the potential to become addictive and to produce people that waste their minutes, hours and days, on these forums, time that they will never get back and time that is not spent how God intended them to spend it.
I am not sure why these mediums can be so addictive. Maybe they appeal to our desire for attention, inclusion, self-glorification (which is not at all good), socialization, gossip (which is also not good) and information.
Every number of years, seemingly, a new type of social medium is launched and the world flocks to it. Yet, as stated before, social mediums have a tendency to demand all or almost all of your time, which only the strong and those who have resolved within themselves not to waste too much time on it, overcome.
These mediums have such a psychological pull, that people may find themselves (even as I have in the past on Facebook), just staring mindlessly at a page for hours, unwilling to pull themselves away from it, although knowing that time, precious time which shall never be recovered is being wasted.
If the Christian woman is not mindful, for example, although she has a call on her life and God has work for her to do for His Kingdom, she can find herself spending the entire day or large chunks of it, whether at work, at home or even driving, staring at a social medium or at messages and comments.
When it comes to her phone and WhatsApp or whatever way she receives messages, every minute, seemingly, somebody texts her or a group she may be in, about something that is not even important or posts some video to be viewed. Trying to read all her messages, view all the videos sent and keep her status updated and her photos upgraded so that she can remain in the limelight of people’s opinions as somebody cool is not only exhausting and time-wasting but also dampens her appetite for the Word.
In short, while there are benefits to connectivity, this can become a distraction, invade the Christian woman’s private space and take over her life, if not managed properly.
Every now and then, I believe it is okay to step completely away from these social medium forums, so as to breathe, refocus on the Lord, get your priorities in order and just experience and remember what it was like to live life without the madness of all of these social media intrusions.
4. Work, career, ambition and riches
The Christian woman can work so hard, be so busy and focus so much on her career, ambition and being successful in life according to the world’s definition, that this becomes a distraction in her life.
To be the best, to have that better life and to get there as quick as possible is unfortunately, the flawed philosophy of the world and sadly, it has transcended as well, to the minds of many people who have professed to know Jesus Christ.
Even if this is not your way of thinking, many industries are now designed in such a way, so as to consume all of your time, energy and zeal for life. They demand you skip lunch, work long hours, carry work home and work on weekends, around the clock and that every ounce of your time should be devoted to getting such secular work done.
I should know. This is the culture of the profession in which I served. In one such job, I would travel far (taking two forms of transportation) and reach work by about 7.10 a.m. and leave close to 6.00 p.m., to go home and do more office work in the night, when other people were sleeping. Of course, this working around the clock, even on weekends, began to take a toll on my health, me even beginning to have dizzy spells and working through that as well.
All of this for the so-called mighty dollar? Is it worth it? Sadly, as a society, we have become more ‘busy’ in life with more useless things. We are highly-stressed and more prone to illness than before because we are running our bodies into the ground, just so that we can say that we have been ‘successful’.
Yet ‘successful’ by what measure? Surely, this is not how success is measured in the scriptures.
The world says move faster and don’t you dare stop or take a time out. If you stop, you will be frowned at and left behind. Instead of opposing the world’s system, sadly, many professers of Christ accept it and run madly after work, career, ambition and financial advancement, to the point where these things become a distraction, moving their focus away from Christ.
This ought not to be. There should be a proper work-life balance and the Christian must have time set aside to study God’s Word, to pray, to attend Church services, to edify other believers and to reach out to the ungodly with the gospel.
I am of the firm view that if a job encroaches on these imperatives and demands all of your time, then, given the Christian’s mandate, it is most likely not a job that God is pleased for you to have because it is a distraction. It demands all or most of your time and therefore demands that you shut God out of your life. This could never be pleasing to God.
5. Food
As good as food maybe and the fact that it is needed to bring nourishment to our bodies, the Christian woman can love it to the point where it becomes a distraction.
She can also use it as a sort of medication to appease her hurts, so that when she feels down, lonely, sad, overwhelmed by some issue or heartbreak or she has had a hard day at work, instead of running to the Lord, she runs to food for comfort.
I am guilty of this. Many a times, after having a particularly bad and stressful day at the office, I would stop off at a junk food outlet before arriving home and then try to drown whatever I was going through in the pleasure I derived from eating that junk food. It worked in the moment but when the food was all over, my problems remained.
We eat to forget, eat to temporarily numb the pain we feel and it is easy to develop a food addiction when in truth and in fact, what we should be addicted to is the Word of God and prayer.
We must eat to live yes but sometimes, food is elevated to the point where we behave as if we are living in order to continue eating. In such situations, food becomes the centre of our focus, we lose control, although this is damaging to our health and although Jesus Christ died to set us free and wants us to walk in liberty, we become enslaved by our taste buds and appetites, not even eating the healthy foods that we ought to be eating, like fruits and vegetables.
6. Sleep
As with food, sleep is important. Our bodies have been designed in such a way by God, that we cannot go without sleep for too long. It energizes, rejuvenates and charges our bodies just like what an electrical outlet does for a battery when plugged in.
Yet, as important as sleep is it can be misused and abused to the point where it distracts us and keeps us from achieving purpose. God never intended for us to sleep and sleep and sleep, for ridiculous lengths of time, so much so, that we become unproductive and lazy.
Sleep can therefore become a distraction if we do it excessively and allow it to get in the way of the time we should be using to do our secular work, to work for the Lord in ministry, to attend to the needs of others and to spend time reading His Word and praying.
7. News and information
Knowing what is happening around us is good but too much news and information and received too frequently, can become a distraction to the Christian woman.
Today, we are in an information age and are bombarded day and night with news and more news of the troubles of this world or products and services being advertised to attract our pockets. Much more news and information are available than what we need and those sending out the news and information, pursue us relentlessly.
There is information on the television, on the radio, on our phones, in the newspapers, in books, in magazines and on the internet.
If we don’t guard our ears and eyes, our minds can become saturated with the onslaught of such news and information, to the point where we can feel ready to explode.
Irrespective of what the news and information contains, I don’t believe that we were built as human beings, to constantly take in so much information but instead, to spend time meditating upon our Lord.
To avoid this distraction therefore, we may need to shut off all of our technological devices from time to time (the avenue through which most news and information come), so that we can take back control of our mind space and of our lives.
When we are in receipt of news, we need to ensure that we put parameters up so that we are not continuously flooded with information, which can make our poor brains weary and turn our focus away from the Lord.
Even if the information is positive and true, we still need to ensure that we are not bombarded with so much of it and so frequently, that it makes our eyes and brain weary and loses its efficacy.
To explain this further, imagine a guy telling his wife that he loves her ten times a day. That relationship will soon become a bore and the statement will lose its power. For, while it is good, it is being received too often to mean anything worthwhile or to have any significant impact.
Imagine on the other hand, a guy who does not use statements lightly but only when he means it (my kind of guy) and saves the ‘I love you’ for special occasions or when he feels flooded with emotion towards his wife. This becomes much more special to her because she understands that it is coming from a place of sincerity. She knows that he loves her but whenever he says it, she just melts and feels extra special.
In similar fashion, while information is good, especially where it is positive and true, a constant bombardment of it upon the minds of Christian women through frequency of dissemination, can make it lose its impact, be counterproductive and become distracting from the one they are supposed to be focusing on, which is Jesus Christ.
8. People
The Christian woman must be careful to ensure that what people think does not become more important to her than what God has already said about her or concerning her and what he wants her to do.
The Bible tells us that “The fear of man bringeth a snare but whoso puts his trust in the Lord shall be safe.” (Proverbs 29:25).
The Christian woman can become so preoccupied with what people are thinking of her, whether they like her, why they don’t like her, who is conspiring against her, what they would think if she were to take a certain course of action, along with the drama and conflict they tend to bring, that she becomes distracted. For, her focus is removed from the Lord and placed on people.
What people think about you or may be saying about you can become such a distraction, that it can make you worry yourself into a state of psychological paralysis. In short, it can make you afraid of moving forward because of the masses. For, you measure everything you do or would like to do by the scrutiny of others.
If you properly examine yourself, you will find that this is so because you have set people up on a pedestal in your mind, while demoting the Lord, even if this has happened subtly without you realizing it.
So what if so and so does not like you? That is so and so’s problem, not yours. Did so and so create you? Was it so and so’s decision that you be brought into the world and given purpose? Did so and so die for your sins and redeem you to himself or herself? If your answers to the foregoing questions are all no, then so and so can think whatever so and so likes. If you are a child of the King, God loves you and he’s got you and there ain’t anything that so and so can do, to pluck you out of His hand.
Isaiah 51:12-13 addresses the issue of people being a distraction and taking the child of God’s focus away from the Lord, perfectly. In this scripture, speaking through his Prophet, God told his people who were had taken their focus off of God and living their lives fearful of what people would do to them:
- “I, even I, am he that comforteth you: who art thou, that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall die, and of the son of man which shall be made as grass; And forgettest the Lord thy maker, that hath stretched forth the heavens, and laid the foundations of the earth; and hast feared continually every day because of the fury of the oppressor, as if he were ready to destroy? and where is the fury of the oppressor?”
To be quite honest, this is my go-to scripture whenever people decide to come after me wickedly. It powerfully reminds me that God is in control, not people, that he has me in the palm of his hand, loves me dearly (despite who dislikes or hates me) and that once I sit still, am obedient and allow him to fight my battles for me, he will. And he does.
On the whole, considering other people is good but obsessively trying to please and appease them and to do only those things of which they will approve and to make them like you is not good. Our main aim should be to please Jesus and to be obedient to his will and way. We must therefore remove people from our horizon, where it blurs our vision from properly focusing on our Saviour and Redeemer.
9. Religion and religious activities
Religion and religious activities can be a distraction for the Christian woman. For, she may fall into the trap of measuring her spirituality by a routine and how much she is doing, thinking that the more she does, the more God is pleased with her, careful to be seen by others or to ensure that they know that she is doing what she is doing.
In such situations, sadly, it becomes less about relationship with Jesus and the product that flows from her love for him and more about a vain show, some activities being done without her heart even being in it.
Religion and religious activities can be a distraction when the Christian woman has lost her passion, her focus and does it as a mere routine or to guarantee that she remains in the spotlight and good graces of people’s opinions. She is just doing things, not necessarily endorsed by God or pre-approved by him for her in terms of his purpose for her life but just because she has gotten used to doing it and may have been told that it needs to be done.
Such a woman may begin to value herself and her worth by these activities and begin to look condescendingly and suspiciously at others who are doing less or at least, those who ‘appear’ to her, to be doing less because they are not as showy as she is or don’t seek out the spotlight when working for the Lord, as she may be doing.
On the whole, any work we claim to be doing for the Lord can become a distraction, if it takes away from our close walk and relationship with the Lord. Doing work for the Lord does not mean necessarily that we are walking closely with him, as the Church at Ephesus learned. Sometimes the ‘work’ is a smokescreen for us to avoid dealing with the issues we know we need to address, to mend our relationship with the Lord.
I wrote in detail on the Church at Ephesus in Article 154 entitled, ‘EPHESUS, SMYRNA AND PERGAMOS – MY HUMBLE VIEW ON THE LETTERS OF THE GLORIFIED JESUS TO THE SEVEN CHURCHES (PART I)’
10. Self
Vanity, self-consciousness, a preoccupation with how self looks and how self appears to people, can be a distraction to the Christian woman, if not curbed.
The Bible lets us know that the Christian woman should dress up her heart and focus more on her inward appearance than on her outward.
1 Timothy 2:9-10 states:
- “I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting. In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.”
This reminds me of the words of a song that I learned as a child, from a tape of songs and a book that my aunt living in the states sent to us. The song has remained with me into my adult years because it was composed based on scripture.
One stanza followed by the chorus went:
- “You can dress up on the outside
- And be as gorgeous as can be
- But God says, “Dress up your heart!
- Is wisdom I want to see!”
CHORUS:
- Man looks on the outside
- But God looks on the heart
- People want us beautiful
- But God wants us smart.”
As I close, I would like to share a true story which occurred in California.
In 2019, there was an extensive bush fire that went on for days, taking trees, houses and unfortunately, some people in its path who, although they were in vehicles were caught in traffic and could not get out in time. You can find some of the videos of this on YouTube.
A survivor who was interviewed soon after he managed to get out, said that his neighbour, a woman, had perished in the fire. He said that he went to her home and told her they needed to get out now, as the fire was close to their area but she informed him that she had to put on her makeup first, as she could not be seen outside without it.
He therefore flew the scene but she went into her house to put on her makeup, intending to make her escape after, once her face was picture perfect. For, she could not be seen outside without her beloved makeup.
Needless to say, she never made it out alive. The fire got to her and to her well-made up face before she could escape. Sadly, distracted by self and vanity, which was also linked to her being distracted by a people-preoccupation, this became her demise.
Looking nice is good but when we become obsessed with our appearance, to the point where we and our makeup, clothes and jewellery become inseparable and we spend far too much time thinking about how we look and applying makeup and fixing our hair and nails and comparing ourselves to how others look competitively and spending too much time in front of our mirror and not enough time dressing up our heart and soul by meditating on God’s Word, we have become distracted by our vanity and this can be detrimental to us spiritually.
(Written in 2019 or thereabout and added to on 11th June, 2021)
