127. I BELIEVE THAT IT IS POSSIBLE, EVEN NOW
(The Single Woman Series – Batch 3)
I believe that it is possible even now.
This morning, during my devotions, I began to pray to God and broke down in what I would call tears of faith.
I asked him to continue to fix me in the areas I know I needed to be fixed and to send a good, decent, godly man into my life, who he is fixing as well.
I told him in strong faith, that although I was thirty-six years of age, had never been in a real relationship, that some of my hairs had begun to grey and that there was so much against the possibility of me being found by such a man, that I still believed that it was possible even now.
I told God that I believed that all things are possible for him and I was honest in telling him that I knew that it would take nothing short of a miracle for my request to be granted. I asked the Lord humbly, yet passionately and without wavering, for a miracle, by causing me to be seen by a man that would appreciate all of the talents and giftings that he has graced me with.
I said, “Lord, provide a man that would be humbled and appreciative each day, by the fact that you brought me into his life and who would give you praise. Provide a man where it is the same for me. Provide a man where we connect spiritually, physically and emotionally. I am trusting you with this and ask that you provide a man where we experience an intimacy that is more than we ever thought possible. Provide the family that I have always dreamed of Lord.”
I have prayed prayers like this many times before but I believe in being persistent and know that I have no other choice but to be persistent because my solution lies in the hands of God. I am convinced, without a doubt, that he can still help me and still provide exactly what I keep asking for and so I keep asking. The days, weeks, months and years keep rolling on but as long as this desire is in me to have a family of my own, I will keep on asking, believing that according to my faith, God will grant me my request.
I told him this morning, as I have on other occasions, that I know that people have given up on me. They don’t expect me to find anyone at this stage but my hope and faith is still alive. I am still trusting God to provide a husband and children and not just any man but a high quality man, after his own heart. And I trust him enough to not try to orchestrate the process. I believe that he will grant him to me, even as I stand still.
I asked the Lord to provide someone that genuinely pursues him and wants the mind and character of Christ and to provide someone that he is teaching how to lead and be courageous. I told him that I do not want a boy but a man, under whose covering I can trust.
I don’t know how many more times I will need to pray about this issue before God decides to send him but I intend to continue praying.
To me, all this waiting (although he is doing some serious fixing of me in the process), all this longing, the tears, the prayers and everything else, will make everything all the more beautiful when he DOES send the man that is to be my husband and the head of our home. When he does send him because it took all this time and I felt so much pain and because God did so much through me during my period of having no one and I am sure, in his life as well, I don’t want an ordinary courtship, wedding, marriage or family life. I want an extraordinarily and extra beautiful EVERYTHING because I know where I came from and the extent of the miracle that would have been performed.
The thought of all this makes me joyful with anticipation. It is as if I can see my future clearly with the many beautiful details that only God can provide.
Waiting can be painful but I believe that if you adopt the right perspective, out of it God will craft a beautiful thing.
(Written on 02nd June, 2017)