(The Faith Forum Series – Batch 2)
I’ve been seemingly at a standstill in my life for as long as I can remember. God continues to be good to me everyday and has been doing wonderful things on my behalf but I have become used to nothing really BIG happening in my life that is good.
When I say nothing BIG, I mean like:
- a raise of pay that enables me to obtain some level of financial stability
- or finding an awesome job that is satisfying to my career development, free from abuse, oppression and injustice and people trying to get me to do wrong
- or the opportunity to finally be swept off my feet by THE ONE and courting, on the way to a marriage ordained by God
- or going on a dream vacation somewhere really nice (I cannot ever seem to be able to afford this)
- or having some fun events in my life that make it really interesting, inspiring and motivating
- or making some real progress in a big way, like finally being able to afford a home of my own or to benefit from one through a husband God sends me, instead of renting pathetic and uninviting spaces that feel more like a dungeon than a home
- and finally seeing the scattered pieces of my life coming together in a beautiful whole.
Nevertheless, as I sit here in my lull, detesting my little hole of an apartment (boy is it hot in here!) and longing for change, yet feeling weary and somewhat as if in a comatose state, something in me wonders, although faintly:
- “What if, I were to cut down on the time I spend on social media and the hours I spend sleeping my pain, disappointment and loneliness away? What if I were to devote between 12.00 a.m. to 3.00 a.m. exclusively, to spending time with God and feeding my spirit, every day, irrespective of what turmoil may be present in my life or how weak and sad and overwhelmed I feel? What would happen? Would anything be different? How would those three hours impact my life? What if I were to try it and see?”
I have resolved to do it.
Now, I need God’s strength (based on how low I feel) to follow through with it and to put aside quality time, reserved with God. I will spend ONE HOUR reading and meditating on God’s Word, ONE HOUR reading and filling my mind with a Christian book for edification purposes (yes this means I will have to start investing money in books) and ONE HOUR spent in songs of praise and worship to almighty God and in prayer, not only for my needs but those of countless others both in the body of Christ and outside of it, who I know, based on their life circumstances, need it.
Given how messed up I feel right now and how hopeless things look, will these three little hours make a difference?
I’m not undertaking to do it to get anything really. I know full well and have known for years, that I should be putting aside quality time to spend with God as opposed to my rushing to spend a few minutes with him on mornings before dashing off for work and other commitments. Even if nothing were to change in my life, I know that it is time that I need to spend with my Lord, so as to grow as a Christian. Yet, fixed, quality and unhurried time is something I have been putting off for years or even when I have started it in the past, I never followed through for any definite period of time.
If I were to do this and to make it a part of my lifestyle, it would be a first. Hence the reason why I am curious as to what the impact of it will be, if any, on my life.
I know that I will be spiritually strengthened, which I need but I can’t help but be curious as to whether these three little hours spent awake and without distraction, in the presence of the Lord, will have any impact on my natural life circumstances.
(Written on 13th August, 2017)
P.S: Shamefully, almost a year later from the date I wrote this Article, I must admit that I am still struggling in this area. Soon after I wrote this Article, an attack rose up in my workplace by a whole group of people in high positions, against me. It shook me to the core given the level of the wickedness, that it was based on lying accusations and was clearly planned beforehand to try to pass the blame for issues that pre-dated my tenure at that job, to me. It threw me off balance for days and I walked around in a daze, traumatized and angry by the whole ordeal.
Looking back on it, it was a calculated attack (distraction) by the enemy, to keep me, in addition to other things, from spending quality time with the Lord as I had planned. Even when the issue subsided, I did not take the time I needed to take, to meditate on God, although I read his Word daily. Since then, the devil has sent many other distractions my way, all in an attempt to keep me busy with worry and stress.
I will appreciate your prayers as life can be so distracting at times, that it makes you lose your zeal in spending quality time before God. Since he is the source of my sustenance however, I know that it is absolutely necessary that I spend not just a little time with him, here and there but quality time meditating on his truths and in effectual and fervent prayer.