(The Single Woman Series)
“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Mark 10:9)
Many Christians see someone they like, recognize there is mutual interest, say a prayer here and there, determine for themselves that the person is saved (and in fact, he or she may be), the relationship progresses, feelings are felt, love is confessed, a marriage is proposed, a ring is accepted (YES!), a few counseling sessions are attended (maybe) (although they have already made up their minds that they are going to get married!) and then they go to the altar on a date that is convenient… for God to join them together.
Now this may all be well and acceptable and I am not about to broach the topic of God’s permissive will versus his perfect will. However, I will say this: I want my love story to be different.
I don’t just want God to join us together on the day of the Wedding. I want him to be a part of the process that brings us together and I don’t just want him to be a part of the process that brings us together but I want him to be IN CHARGE of the process of putting us together.
To me, if God is the one that has reserved the power within himself to join his children together in matrimony as the scripture clearly attests, then it seems to me that he is not just satisfied in us presenting ourselves before him to be joined on our Wedding day but he wants us to seek him, his guidance and his wisdom diligently on the issue of being joined to someone, even BEFORE the prospect arrives.
Proverbs 3:5-7 states: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In ALL THY WAYS acknowledge him, and HE SHALL DIRECT thy paths.”
The words ‘ALL THY WAYS’ includes the decision of who to go out with, who to court (date) and very importantly, who to marry. Yes we have free choice but God would like to help us make the right one. He knows what is best for us, has our best interests at heart and wants not his permissive will but his perfect will for our lives.
What bliss would it be, if we allowed God to write our love story, to be in charge of the entire process of our being ‘joined together’ with someone, from beginning to finish!
I trust my God completely and that is why I decided some years ago to stop looking, stop seeking, stop worrying, stop trying (but keep trusting, keep praying, keep fasting, keep hoping, keep believing and keep waiting on God) to find MR. RIGHT FOR ME.
I told people (and I meant it), that if God didn’t work a miracle and bring THE ONE into my life and cause our paths to cross and cause us to be interested in each other and cause that guy to pursue me and honourably, then I would forever be single because I refused to look for myself.
There are those that think me crazy, I know but that is what FAITH in my God can do. It makes you see as very real, the things you hope for, without a scrap of evidence of it becoming a reality. BUT GOD!
Instead of exerting effort looking, I decided to exert effort preparing (spiritually above all else) because I believe that God made me a promise of a family of my own one day. Whatever he says he is going to do, is already done, so I knew I could afford to wait calmly and patiently, without trying to help myself to meet this mystery man.
I also prepared by asking God to put me together with someone that had most of the list of godly traits I desired and to shape me in such a way, that I too possessed and exhibited the godly traits he wanted in a wife.
I have never been one to prepare a list of what I wanted in a husband. However, in early 2015 or late 2014, I felt that God was impressing upon my heart the need to write a proper list of the godly traits I desired.
It so ‘happened’, that I was randomly browsing through a book of mine, where I had jotted down various things over time. I hadn’t opened it in a while and did not even remember what I had written in it. On a particular day at work though, I can’t remember what led me to open the book but I did and in flipping through, saw on a page, some jottings I had made on the traits of a spouse I desired.
Then, while at home in the place I was renting and searching high and low for something that I could not seem to find, I went to my cupboard and pulled out the bags and suitcases there and began rummaging through them. It so ‘happened’ that in the process, I ‘happened’ to find a second partial list on what I wanted in a husband, which I must have begun to write but did not get around to finishing, about a year ago.
As if that was not enough, if I recall correctly, I then found a third note I had scribbled some time previously on the same subject and so, I began to think. It dawned on me that these three lists, all in different places and all that I had long forgotten I had written, had suddenly resurrected seemingly out of nowhere, had found me and were all in my hands, all in the space of about one week.
Coincidence? I sincerely doubt it.
I said, “Alright Lord. I hear you. I’m going to take the time and come up with a comprehensive list” and that is exactly what I did.
The process of God putting my future husband and I together, has already started, although I am yet to meet the person and God is doing such a beautiful job in my life at the moment, that I am blessed to have him as my Chief Planner and Coordinator.
When it is my time to walk down the aisle to be joined with the husband that God presented me to from inception, I don’t just want my Lord to be a guest or spiritual joining officiant there but I want his presence to be felt, his blessings to flow and for him to TAKE CHARGE of the day’s events.
I envision him (not my husband or me) being the star and central focus and I desire a day where we get to glorify (not ourselves) but the one who was and is and is to come, the one who engineered our being brought together from the inception, the one who would be joining us at the altar and his name is Jesus!
I also don’t want to rush through our time at the Church ceremony either, so that we can spend the next several hours of the day taking pictures, socializing and enjoying a vast array of food. Instead, I want to spend quality time in his presence, slow… and sweet… and unrushed…and unhurried. After all, HE will be the one that brought us together and HE is the one that put our very selves together, when we were being formed in our mothers’ wombs.
Additionally, I don’t want to leave him behind at the Church ceremony either. I want him to accompany us at the feast, even as he did at the wedding in Cana. Maybe he may opt to do a miracle or two! Who knows? Whenever Jesus is present, anything is possible.
The thought of Jesus with us from the very beginning of our being brought together and then at the altar and then throughout our marriage and lives, gets me very excited but wait I must. For I am yet to meet the one of which God has approved for me as my life spouse. I am yet to meet this mystery man.
And no I have not lost it. I am just a simple girl with BIG faith.
I know that he is on his way. I can feel it in my spirit.
When he comes, he will not be too early nor will he be too late. For, I have asked God to be in charge of the entire process of bringing, putting and joining us together. I trust him with my life and if I can trust him with my future resurrection and salvation, I can certainly trust him with the selection, timing and presentation of a spouse.
Marriage is HIS plan. It is what he specializes in and dare I say, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Mark 10:9)
(Written on 10th May, 2016)
Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be informative, interesting, edifying or beneficial, you may also be interested in reading the following:
- Note 11 – ‘A God-approved Marriage Union – A Work Of Grace’
- Note 68 – ‘My Detailed List – What I Want In A Divinely Compatible Spouse
- Note 131 – ‘What I Need In A Spouse’
Under the ‘COURTING OR ENGAGED Daughters of God’ Page:
- Note 27 – ‘Why I Want To Praise Jesus Alone On My Wedding Day’
- Note 30 – ‘What Will Be Your Wedding Day Message?’
- Note 55 – ‘Is The Ceremonial Part Of A Wedding Important?’