76. WEDDINGS THAT I HATE

(My One Day Dream Wedding Series – Batch 2)

Weddings are varied and couples pretty much do as they please on that day. There are no hard and fast rules as to how a Wedding should be. However, for Christians, I would think that they should be guided by certain principles of wisdom found in God’s Word.

Personally, I love Weddings but especially those involving two born-again believers of the Lord Jesus Christ. Given that marriage symbolizes the covenant relationship between Christ and the Church, the Christian marriage is far more significant than one involving two unbelievers or even worse, a believer and an unbeliever, which the Bible prohibits and calls being unequally yoked.

That being said, I wish to share in this Article, my top sixteen (16) Wedding peeves, meaning practices, things and circumstances that I hate to see in Weddings. As I share them with you, you would do well to remember, that this Article represents my views, for the most part. While some are based on and supported by principles in scripture and are therefore sound views to hold, some are merely my opinions on the subject and therefore are not necessarily right or wrong. At the end of the day, it is ultimately up to the couple to do as they please on their big day. Where there is scriptural support for my position though and I am aware of it, I will be sure to mention it.

The tope sixteen (16) things I hate to see in Weddings are as follows:

1. I hate when the bride and/or her bridesmaids are IMMODEST in their attire.

Undoubtedly, when the Bride and/or her bridesmaids are dressed scantily with their cleavage exposed, their mid-section exposed, much of their back exposed, their legs exposed and in clothing where the material is so thin that you can see their bodies, it cheapens the whole event and does not bring glory to God. It is sad when the Bride looks more like a pimp or a whore than a wife-to-be. Many aim to look sexy but all they do is look cheap and tacky.

When a bride is scantily clad for her big day, it sends the message that she is only good for one thing: sex and has nothing else to offer. Whether the man is marrying her for all of who she is, including who she is on the inside or just for her body is also in question.

Looking beautiful on the day and fashionable, does not mean that you must show skin, which sadly, seems to be the trend today and has been caught on even by professing believers. I am not saying that you need to look like a nun or be frumpy. However, even if you do have some skin exposed, your outfit and the fit should pass the modesty test. It is possible to look attractive on your day and stylish, while covering your body. Do not believe the lie that the world is peddling to the contrary.

What the bride has should be for her husband’s eyes only, not everyone. Also, nothing is more beautiful or classy, than a covered bride and bridesmaids that are also stylish but modestly clothed. Don’t believe me? Look at this bride who apparently understood the beauty of being covered:

Now compare the classy and respectable and sophisticated vibe captured above, to attending a Wedding where the bride looks like one of these:

What is the message that you get? Is your mind on the love story of the couple, the sanctity of the marriage, the testimony of how God brought them together (if he did) and his ministry purposes for them in moving forward or on cheap things like sexiness and passion and sex? Surely, the day should be about selling the beauty of love and having God’s stamp of approval (if indeed he did stamp the union) but instead, the bride seems to be selling something else and is therefore parading it for all to see. At best, she seems to have started the honeymoon at the actual Wedding, as she is not fully dressed, when this should be a private affair.

For the Christian bride, dressing to look sexy, as opposed to attractive is unacceptable. It matters not what modern day trends are. These are worldly trends and we are called not to love the world or the things of the world.

1 John 2:15-17 states:

• “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.”

For the Christian bride, modesty is what God expects of her. This one is not just my opinion. It is supported in the Word of God. As a matter of fact, it is how she ought to dress herself, not just for her Wedding but everywhere she goes. She is far too valuable, to be exposing herself like a bimbo, for all to see.

1 Timothy 2:8-9 states:

• “I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting. In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.”

For more on the topic of modesty and why it is important, after reading this Article, you can feel free to read the following Articles under the Virtuous Daughters page:

• Note 10 – ‘Are You A Woman Of Class Or Tacky?’
• Note 4 – ‘Are You Wife Material?’
• Note 5 – ‘What Are You Wearing And Does God Approve?‘
• Note 6 – ‘Seven (7) Key Traits Of A Virtuous Woman’
• Note 8 – ‘Your Royal Lineage – Daughter Of Dignity’

2. I hate it when the bride, groom and guests go wild with endless flesh-glorifying, vulgar and WILD DANCING, turning the day from classy, into a big revelry party.

While this is the norm and is therefore expected in ungodly Weddings, why do some professing Christians feel the need to imitate the world? The world should not be setting the cues. We should. Why not take Weddings to a higher standard, where the world takes notes from us and emulates us, instead of the other way around, given that we ought to understand the deep spiritual significance of the marriage union?

1 Peter 2:9 tells us, “But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.”

As a peculiar people, we are not expected to fit in with the masses and the trends of the world but to stand out as different. We are no longer in darkness and therefore, have no excuse.

Ephesians 5:7 to 8 warns us, in relation to the people of the world who don’t know the Lord as their Saviour and therefore embrace ungodly practices, “Be not ye therefore partakers with them. For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light.”

I absolutely hate to see a Wedding where the Ceremony has some measure of decorum and is dignified but then at the Reception, the mood changes and the bridal party and guests turn loose, engaging in a wild and revelrous dancing party.

While this is expected of the world, where vulgar and wild dancing are foolishly considered to be something good, Christians are expected to know better.

Galatians 5:19-21 states:

• “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”

Romans 13:12 to 14 calls Christians to a higher standard. We are not to be engaged in revelrous practices like the world, that promote the flesh and promiscuity, which most dancing at Wedding Receptions (which sadly is becoming the trend) promotes. Once again, it cheapens the entire affair, reducing the beauty of the day to being all about the exaltation of the flesh.

Romans 13:12 to 14 reads:

• “The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light. Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying. But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.”

Chambering means immorality and lewdness, which means indecency, obscenity or vulgar sexual character or behaviour.

1 Corinthians 10:5-7, also says of the Israelites in the Old Testament:

• “But with many of them God was not well pleased: for they were overthrown in the wilderness. Now these things were our examples, to the intent we should not lust after evil things, as they also lusted. Neither be ye idolaters, as were some of them; as it is written, The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play.”

Ironically, before David and his people destroyed the Amalekites who had taken their wives captives and burned where they had been living, it states:

• “And when he had brought him down, behold, they were spread abroad upon all the earth, eating and drinking, and dancing, because of all the great spoil that they had taken out of the land of the Philistines, and out of the land of Judah. And David smote them from the twilight even unto the evening of the next day: and there escaped not a man of them, save four hundred young men, which rode upon camels, and fled.”

3. I hate it when the bride and groom display EXCESSIVE SEXUAL OVERTURES with endless kissing and sexual touching, so much so, that it seems that this is all or mainly what that their relationship is based on.

Nothing is wrong with the kiss the bride and groom take in front of the congregation after being pronounced husband and wife and to have some moments thereafter, where they share a kiss, especially for the pictures. However, I think it to be ridiculous and overkill and tacky, when throughout the day, all the couple seems to do is kiss or to behave in a promiscuous manner, as if they are in a bedroom. It is very telling, if, after viewing the short videography of the Wedding which provides a summary of the day’s events, most of it is of the bride and groom kissing or behaving in a sexual manner around each other. Did anything else occur at that Wedding?

Yes we know that they are in love (or are supposed to be) and are married and of what they will be doing after the Wedding but must our eyes be assaulted every second with public sexual demonstrations? Is the fascination that they have for each other only skin-deep? Is it really love that led them down the altar or just plain animalistic-driven lust?

In such Weddings, where picture after picture is of the couple kissing and being overly sexual, in my view, a love story isn’t unfolding but a story about sexual attraction only. Where is the story of the strong emotional bond that was formed and if the couple purports to be Christians, the testimony of what God did for them and of their spiritual connection?

In previous Articles, I wrote about the importance of the existence of three types of attraction in a love relationship, namely, the spiritual, emotional and physical. I also mentioned that for the Christian, I believe that the spiritual attraction is the most important, then followed by the emotional and the physical last. However, in some relationships where the foundation is weak, the physical is the strongest or sadly, all that exists. The couple focuses on each other’s looks and body and physique, to the exclusion of everything else, which usually ends really badly down the road.

Nothing on the spiritual significance of the union or of the couples’ respective personalities, character and love story comes through, as all of this is overshadowed by the physical. It is as if the physicality is to mask or compensate for the emptiness of the union, where there is no powerful love story and no real substance to share. If the union is all about the couple’s physical chemistry and nothing else, then what else can we expect the couple to showcase?

In such Weddings, everyone leaves convinced that they are physically attracted to each other, yes but that is about it. Whether they are truly in love with each other, which goes far deeper than just the physical, is in question.

To find out more about what I believe are the three types of attraction that are important for successful Christian relationships, you may read the following Articles under the ‘COURTING OR ENGAGED Daughters’ page:

• Note 16 – ‘Dear Christian, Does God Approve Of Your Relationship?’
• Note 6 – ‘Equation For Relationship Success’
• Note 20 – ‘Is Your Relationship Foundation Strong?’

In short, peeves 1 to 3 above are collectively what are popularly offered now in most Weddings, as is evident if you look at random Wedding videos on YouTube or are invited to attend one. In my view though, too many Weddings are now “sexified”, instead of being sanctified and shamefully so, if the couple claim to be professing believers. There is far too much emphasis placed on kissing, exposing of flesh in immodest attire and fleshly, lustful and vulgar dancing, while sincerity, sobriety, sanctity, sacredness, spirituality and substance, which are far more important when it comes to relationship sustainability and success are lacking.

If as a Christian, your Wedding is more inclined to be the former than the latter, this is a sad thing and does not bode well for your future, to my mind. For, a relationship built on lust and the exaltation of the flesh is not, to my mind, a good indication for lasting marital bliss.

4. I hate it when the couple decides to have a CASUAL, informal Wedding.

Of course, this is their prerogative. Each couple is free to decide what kind of event they wish to have as it is theirs and there are no rules where this is concerned. However, I abhor a casual event when it comes to something as momentous and wonderful and life-changing as a Wedding.

I think that a Wedding is a serious event, that leads into the serious institution of marriage, which holds serious implications for the bride and groom. I therefore think that the seriousness and significance of the occasion, should be reflected in the type of event that is held.

I fear though, that many, although not all, have a casual event because they take a cavalier approach to marriage, not truly understanding or appreciating the significance of the day, before God and men. Some people think that getting married is fun, trendy and that if and when they get tired of it, they can just retrace their steps by filing for a divorce. They enter into this sacred institution thinking light of it, seeing it as an opportunity to just throw one big party with friends and loved ones, not really processing what it is that they are doing and that in God’s eyes, once married, always married, once your spouse is alive.

Mind you, nothing is wrong with a casual Wedding and it is perfectly okay for a Christian couple to decide that they want to keep things casual, like the venue, the food and the dress code. For me personally though, a simple, outdoor, casual event and attire is a no-no. I love me a formal Wedding and this does not mean that it has to be expensive. You can achieve a formal, well put-together event on a limited budget, even opting to do some of the projects yourself.

Although the Bible does not dictate whether a Christian Wedding should be formal or casual, when I look in the scriptures and at the words used there to describe the bride, the bridegroom and the Wedding process, it seems clear that back then, Weddings were a formal affair, where one aimed to impress their guests and therefore served the best wine to them and so on.

When you look at the Wedding in Cana which Jesus attended for example and what was said of it, you sensed that it was a proper event, where people received invitations and were treated to the best that the hosts had to offer in food and drink, so much so, that when the wine was finished, it was considered embarrassing. Thankfully, Jesus understanding the culture of Weddings as existed back then and not opposing it, intervened to miraculously generate more wine and this he did to the highest quality possible. The governor of the feast, a high profile person at this Wedding, upon drinking this wine, commented on the high quality and that normally, at Weddings, the best was offered first.

In John 2:10, the governor called the bridegroom and told him, “Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now.”

By references made in scripture, we also get a glimpse as to the bride’s attire back then, which was anything but casual. It seemed that the bride was attired in the best and most precious of materials and there was formality involved in the whole affair.

In Revelation 21:2 for example, John stated, “And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.” Ezekiel 16:10 to 13, gives beautiful insight into what this adorning entailed, where God likened his people the Israelites, to a bride.

Of the Israelites, God conveyed through his prophet Ezekiel:

• “I clothed thee also with broidered work, and shod thee with badgers’ skin, and I girded thee about with fine linen, and I covered thee with silk. I decked thee also with ornaments, and I put bracelets upon thy hands, and a chain on thy neck. And I put a jewel on thy forehead, and earrings in thine ears, and a beautiful crown upon thine head. Thus wast thou decked with gold and silver; and thy raiment was of fine linen, and silk, and broidered work; thou didst eat fine flour, and honey, and oil: and thou wast exceeding beautiful, and thou didst prosper into a kingdom.”

It is clear by the extent of detail that was apparently involved in the bride’s apparel and the costly array that she wore for her Wedding, that the event was not considered a casual, cavalier affair, where the bride just threw on a casual dress but a grand one, which therefore required careful preparation. The wife was clearly not clad in slippers and laid-back vestures as some opt to do today for outdoor beach Weddings but was dressed to the nines, so to speak.

In Psalm 45:13-15 it also states, in a setting that seems befitting of a Wedding:

• “The king’s daughter is all glorious within: her clothing is of wrought gold.  She shall be brought unto the king in raiment of needlework: the virgins her companions that follow her shall be brought unto thee. With gladness and rejoicing shall they be brought: they shall enter into the king’s palace.”

By comparison, as daughters of a heavenly King, we are regal and to my mind, regality is more associated with formality than it is with casualness.

On the whole, this laid-back, casual approach to Weddings that is becoming so commonplace today, does not bode well, in my humble view, for the sincerity and seriousness in which nuptials are to be regarded. Some take the day as a joke with all sorts of ridiculous themes being played out on the day. They clearly do not understand the spiritual ramifications of marriage and that in God’s eyes, it is honourable and permanent.

If a Christian couple, understanding the significance of the institution they are about to enter, should opt to have a casual affair though, that is entirely their business. They would not have done anything wrong or sinned. It is perfectly fine to do this, once your approach and mindset regarding marriage is right. For, on the other end of the spectrum, some people have over-the-top formal Weddings, yet they have no serious regard or understanding for the permanence, sanctity and significance of the institution, which I address in peeve number 5 below.

For more on the issue of casual Weddings and the significance of getting married, you may be interested in reading the following Articles under the ‘COURTING OR ENGAGED’ Daughters page:

• Note 41 – ‘The Seriousness Of Marriage And The Sanctity Of Wedding Vows’
• Note 29 – ‘Why I Don’t Fancy Casual Weddings’
• Note 30 – ‘What Will Be Your Wedding Day Message?’

5. I hate over-the-top, EXCESSIVELY EXTRAVAGANT and lavish Weddings.

This is where the couple (and usually their rich parents) take things to the next extreme, as can be seen in many Weddings on YouTube, like Lebanese Weddings.

Balance is key. While I do not like casual Weddings, I hate Weddings that go beyond classy, elegant and well-done by being over-done and wasteful with extreme expense, where the people involved (including the parents, who are usually the main instigators or enablers) are more interested seemingly, in making a boast and screaming to everyone that they are filthy rich, moreso than expressing the beauty of the day and the event.

If the day screams money more than it screams matrimony, for me, it is a failure. This is because while the decorations and food and clothing are sure to all look captivatingly beautiful, it comes across as a Wedding that is all about frills but lacks a soul. People go away talking about the obvious display of wealth but not the substance. Things like the couple demonstrating their love, the romance and emotion felt are not spoken about. These are overshadowed by talk of how much money was obviously spent and that the couple and/or their parents are obviously dripping in wealth.

The extravagance is too extra, to the point of overkill and the beauty of the event is overshadowed by the bling, as can be seen in these photos below:

On the other hand, a classy, high quality, formal and elegant affair (which admittedly, would have called for a decent amount of funds and which I absolutely love to see) could have been held at a small fraction of the cost. Yes, the couple and/or their families may be filthy rich and I have nothing against wealthy people but did they have to deliberately shout it like they obviously did, to make sure that everybody who attended the event or viewed it online was convinced of it? In such a Wedding, the day, which was supposed to be so sentimentally beautiful, turns into a circus, a performance, where the aim is not to showcase the sincerity, strength and beauty of the love the couple have but to showcase the extent of their affluence.

Recently, I learned of a lady who travelled from her country to the United States to select not one, not two, not three but nine dresses for her Wedding! To make matters worse, each dress she purchased was from a Wedding Designer whose dresses were considered high-end and not cheap. Was this necessary? Did she really need a whopping nine dresses, which it is reported, she paid more than $200,000 US for? Ironically, when word got back to her country, where it was reported that many were poor, starving and suffering financially, her father, who had paid for the dresses and was a politician, lost his standing with the people. For, while they were fighting to make ends meet, his daughter was splashing and splurging without a moment’s hesitation.

6. I hate it when the groom and/or the groomsmen wear SHORT PANTS OR SHOES WITHOUT VISIBLE SOCKS, together with pants that get tight at the ankle.

There is nothing against this in scripture but I personally hate seeing it. It looks tacky, cheap, unprofessional and anything but classy, in my view. If a groom opted to have that look at his Wedding, I would think that he was not seriously in love, lacked maturity, seriously lacked fashion sense and considered the whole Wedding day to be one big fat joke.

Like seriously? I think the style looks quite foolish. The look is too ridiculous even, to put into words. Like, where is his socks? Don’t tell me they are there but can’t be seen because they are short and tucked into his shoes. Why can’t I see them and why are his pants so tight at the ankle? Who gave the idea that it was fashionable to wear short pants at a Wedding? What if all of your guests were to show up in similar short pants or long pants that narrow at the ankle and no visible socks, what would you think? Would you not think that they’ve all gone steering mad or that this must be April fool or something? I rest my case.

No matter who wears it, it never looks cute. It looks like the groom started dressing and did not get a chance to finish because some of his clothing is clearly missing!

A serious and life changing event like a marriage union and this is what he chooses to wear? I know that there are those who find this cute, even the woman getting married. To each their own but I consider this to be disrespectful to the beauty, sincerity and importance of the day and also to the bride, especially when she is all dressed up in formal attire.

7. I hate it when A FEMALE PERFORMS THE CEREMONY.

This role is reserved for males in my view. Women ought not to be in a position of leadership in the Church to begin with and those who perform these roles without proper spiritual background are just sacrilegious in my view.

If it is a Wedding between two believers, I believe the person doing the Ceremony should be a professor of Christianity (if a traditional Wedding is being held) and not just anyone be allowed to have a licence to marry people. Such a person should be in a leadership position and well-respected for living and teaching proper doctrine in the Church and this is supposed to be a man, not a woman. I cannot stomach seeing a woman conducting a Wedding Ceremony therefore, as to me, it screams rebellion of God’s order and comes across as insulting to the Lord.

8. I hate it when the BRIDE AND/OR THE GROOM LOOK SAD OR SOUR, as if they are attending a funeral.

They may be feeling tired or something may have provoked them before or they may just have a serious demeanour but a Wedding, done God’s way, should be a joyous affair.

When the bride and/or the groom look worried, sad, unhappy or even indifferent to such a momentous occasion, it makes me worried, as this many times gives an indication that there may be trouble down the road for this union.

Some times, brides and/or the bridegroom look this way because the marriage has been arranged like a business transaction or because the couple is having the Wedding for the wrong reasons, be it because they feel pressured or the woman felt desperate due to her ageing or the man guilty about being with the woman for so long and not yet having made her his wife or because the woman is pregnant or because the couple did everything physically exciting before (as in fornication), so that there is nothing exciting to look forward to as a married couple, especially if they were already living together. Sometimes the couples hearts are not into it or into each other. They are not in love but for reasons that they alone know, they have still decided to get married. Sometimes, they know that they are about to make a big mistake and this is manifest on their faces, them going through with the Ceremony anyway and then having a lifetime to regret their foolish decision, when things go haywire in the future.

This is not to say that seemingly joyous Weddings don’t also at times end in marriage disasters but for me, the bride and groom should be exuding excitement, joy and happiness on this day, unmatched by anyone in the audience. Usually, if the foundation was done right and God approves of the Union and they are both his children, this joy and excitement tends to be seen. Indeed, if a woman loves a man and he loves her back and God loves the idea of them being together and has given them his stamp of approval, then I find it impossible for these two people to go down the aisle and sport a sour, disinterested and even sad face, throughout the day.

If the bride and the groom look sad and anything but joyous on their day, how are the guests to feel? They can’t share in the joy if it does not exist.

When I look in the Bible, the picture painted of the bridegroom, in relation to the bride, is sheer joy and excitement. Similarly so for the bride, who takes quality time, carefully preparing herself to look beautiful for her husband.

In reference to the bridegroom, the Word of God states in Isaiah 62:5, “For as a young man marrieth a virgin, so shall thy sons marry thee: and as the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee.”

Revelation 19:7 states, “Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.”

Isaiah 61:10 also reads, where the expected joyful mood of a bride and groom is used as a comparison to the joy of salvation:

• “I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.”

For more Articles related to this topic, you may read the following under the ‘COURTING OR ENGAGED Daughters’ page:

• Note 22 – ‘Having Second Thoughts Or Just Cold Feet?’
• Note 42 – ‘Making The Wrong Decision Can Be Costly – When You Don’t Wait On God To Introduce You To Your Spouse’
• Note 67 – ‘Are You Making The Right Choice?’
• Note 71 – ‘You Are Second-Guessing Your Relationship. What To Do?’

9. I hate it when there is FAMILY OR OTHER DRAMA, which casts an ominous shadow on the day’s proceedings.

I hate it when a parent or parents are at odds with one of the spouses-to-be or there is some kind of family drama going on, where some have even boycotted the event. I have witnessed and heard about Weddings where this was the case and it always produces a heavy, sad mood for the parties on a day where there is supposed to be happiness and joy. It feels as if the couple is being sent off not with well-wishes and blessings but a curse.

Family members and all who contribute to the drama may be justified in not being happy about the union but I hate to see Weddings like that where there is tension, sadness, anger and tears, not of joy but of sorrow, that the Wedding is taking place, especially where the people or some of them who are part of the drama are professing Christians.

It is my view that God does not generally endorse such Weddings for his children. Where it occurs, I believe that most times, if not all, it is a huge red flag that the person you are planning to marry is not who God wants for you and vice versa.

This was evident in the Bible. It is clear in the scriptures, that it is wise to have the blessings of one’s parents as to who to marry, especially if they are professing believers.

Genesis 26:34-35 lets us know that the parents of Esau was not surprised about a wife that their son chose, given that she was from an ungodly people. The scripture reads, “And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite: which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah.”

Later on, after he had foolishly sold his birthright to his twin brother Jacob and Jacob had received his father’s blessing and was told to not take a Canaanite wife, he tried in vain it seemed, to obtain a blessing for his life, by marrying a second wife, seemingly in the hope that this would win the favour of his parents. However, the wife he took was an Ishmaelite and given the history with Abraham, Sarah and Hagar their Egyptian maid, it was clear that this was again a wrong choice.

The scripture reads:

• ^“When Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob, and sent him away to Padanaram, to take him a wife from thence; and that as he blessed him he gave him a charge, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughers of Canaan; And that Jacob obeyed his father and his mother, and was gone to Padanaram; And Esau seeing that the daughters of Canaan pleased not Isaac his father; Then went Esau unto Ishmael, and took unto the wives which he had Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael Abraham’s son, the sister of Nebajoth, to be his wife.” (Genesis 28:6-9)

Whereas we continued to hear about Jacob and how God was with him, not much was heard of Esau’s life. It was Jacob that God was with, not Esau.

Samson also had family drama in his choice of a bride. Although she was from ungodly people and he was not supposed to align himself with her, he told his parents to get her for him, as she pleased him well. This was the beginning of Samson’s demise, as this decision led to a host of other issues with the Philistines, which eventually cost him his life.

Judges 14:1-3 records:

• “And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines. And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife. Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well.”

From the Bible days to today, very rarely can I recall seeing a marriage where there was family and other drama surrounding the Wedding, turn out successfully. In most of those cases there was endless trouble down the road for the couple.

10. I hate it when THE CEREMONY IS RIDICULOUSLY SHORT but the Reception is by contrast, endlessly long.

To me, it reflects people’s restlessness when focusing on the biblical spiritual aspect of things, which the Ceremony is supposed to be about but then their contentment to be in an environment for hours, which caters to earthly things like food, entertainment, socializing and partying.

In my view, a marriage is of spiritual significance, moreso than the festivities which follow. It is God that joins a man and a woman together and therefore, I am of the view that quality time should be spent at the Ceremony, instead of it being brief and rushed.

The equation I see at most Weddings though is lopsided. I remember attending one where a lady kept complaining at the Ceremony, that it was going on for too long and needed to end. However, at the Reception, I heard no such complaint for her.

It gives insight into how people tend to underestimate the significance of the spiritual aspect of things and focus on the physical. It is my desire for my Wedding to be different, if I am to one day marry.

To find out more on this topic, you may read the following Article under the ‘COURTING OR ENGAGED’ Daughters page:

• Note 55 – ‘Is The Ceremonial Part Of A Wedding Important?’

11. I hate it when THE SONGS sound nice and romantic but are NOT SPIRITUALLY SOUND and contain emotion-stirring but weird and sometimes even diabolical lyrics.

These seem to feature in most Weddings and Wedding videography today. Once the music sounds nice and infectious, it tends to get played but sometimes, the lyrics are quite inappropriate and even blasphemous. Many of the songs that people use today at their Weddings are from singers that have no fear for God and that even engage in practices that bring glory to the devil. When their songs are played at Weddings therefore, I believe that this could negatively affect the couple as they move forward.

Hence the reason why I believe that the couple should choose the song/s they want featured in their Wedding Video and even throughout the Wedding, so that the Videographer/DJ doesn’t play what he or she wants to play. This is especially important for Christian weddings.

I remember attending a Wedding that was supposed to be for two believers and hearing the DJ play whatever he wanted, which was secular songs, all night. It was quite embarrassing, to say the least. The worst was when a song suddenly began to play and quite loudly with the words, “I want to sex you up.”

You may read more about the issue of music in the following Article under the ‘BIBLE-BELIEVING Daughters’ page:

• Note 168 – ‘The Problem With Much Of Today’s So-Called ‘Worship’ Music’
• Note 22 – ‘Are You Spiritually Sober Or Intoxicated?’
• Note 190 – ‘Offering Strange Fire Unto The Lord’

12. I hate it when GUESTS ARE NEGLECTED or decisions are made that are inconsiderate of them, like having them wait in boredom for hours, between the Wedding Ceremony and the start of the Reception, so that the couple can take pictures.

I am all about serving people where I can and on my Wedding Day, I don’t want things to be any different. I believe in attending to the needs of guests, which includes providing some form of entertainment for them during the lull, picture-taking period. This ensures that the time in-between, which is necessary, is enjoyed as much as the Ceremony was.

I hate to see guests waiting at a Reception table for what seems like a lifetime, for the bride and groom to arrive, after the Ceremony. They are given nothing to do, nothing to look at and many times, they are so bored stiff by the waiting time, that the feeling of exhaustion which has set in is hard to turnaround, even when the couple arrives at the venue.

I remember attending a Wedding where, when the guests got to the Reception area to wait on the couple, it was still locked! They had to wait in their fancy attire outside the gate (some of them in cars, some on their feet) until someone eventually opened it.

A bad experience in between the Ceremony and the Reception, could ruin people’s idea of the beauty of the day. All they remember is their discomfort and how they were made to wait and wait for so long, for the start of the Reception.

13. I hate it when the couple choose to have a courthouse, City Hall or other GOVERNMENTAL OFFICE WEDDING with the bare minimum of witnesses that the law requires.

I find this absolutely boring, purely legalistic and downright sad to see. I feel the same why when the couple gets married on a beach or even in a Church but with the same scarce number of guests.

For me, a Wedding should be a joyous occasion and while all the couple may need is two guests to make it legal, I love the idea of having friends and family around to share in the day. Yes some of those people on the guest list may not really be rooting for you but keeping everyone out of your big day because of that, strikes me as selfish, childish and sad. It sours the day, in my view, as the couple starts off on a footing of not having the support of the people in their lives. There is a saying that no man is an island and in my view, this should apply especially for a couple’s Wedding Day.

It need not be a long guest list. There is no need to invite loads of people and if there are people that you really do not want around you on that day, you can leave them out but it never looks good when the people you don’t invite includes practically everybody.

Don’t get me wrong. A small Wedding is perfectly fine but I hate seeing a bride and groom and only two to ten people around to witness it. I am aware though, that people may have their reasons when they decide to do this. For example, some do it to avoid the expense because it is what they can afford, which I understand or even as was the case during the coronavirus pandemic, where small Weddings were necessary to prevent the virus from spreading. Also, it is not a requirement of the Bible that there be a certain number of people. I note though, that in the Wedding of Cana which Jesus attended, it seems that a good number of people were in attendance, so much so that the wine supply ran out.

14. I hate it when the bride and/or some of her bridal party have TATTOOS and wear clothing that does not hide these ugly body markings.

Apart from the spiritual ramifications of putting tattoos on one’s body ( I believe that it opens one up to demonic attacks and in some cases, even possession), it makes the bride and her bridesmaids look quite tacky on the Wedding Day. The same applies to men, if wearing casual attire that displays them.

No matter how beautiful the dress, the hairstyle, the makeup and the venue decorations, tattoos steal the spotlight and not in a good way. They are truly hideous and make the bride and her bridal party look like a circus.

Christians should not defile their bodies by putting these devilish and idolatrous markings on them, under no circumstances. No matter what the marking is or the sentimental feeling, it is not for permanent inking on the body that God gave you. If though, in your ignorance, you got a tattoo in the past, you have the option of trying to reverse at least some of the damage by having it physically removed (which I understand is possible) and even if you opt not to, you should at least have the common sense and grace to wear clothing on the day that hides them.

Tattoos are shameful and diabolical markings and should not be showcased. If, as a Christian you had them placed on your body, I believe that you should take steps, irrespective of the cost, to have them physically removed and repent before the Lord Jesus Christ, asking him for his forgiveness for what you did to the body, the temple that he gave you. Ask him to cleanse you from all filthiness and to deliver you from all demonic attack. Only the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ is potent enough to cleanse spiritual markings and stains.

For more on how much I detest tattoos and why, you may read the following Article under the ‘BIBLE-BELIEVING Daughters’ page:

• Note 132 – ‘Why You Shouldn’t Get That Tattoo’

15. I hate it when the bride is all dressed up in a fancy, formal dress but chooses to wear SNEAKERS, instead of a shoe that would flatter the ensemble.

Nothing is necessarily wrong with this, it just hurts my eyes. Like why would you dress so nicely and then put on such inappropriate shoes? You are not going to play a game of soccer or hiking. You are going to marry the love of your life, the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with and have babies with (hopefully) and grow old with.

It is not at all feminine in my view, when a bride does this and in my view, it looks so funny, that it sends the message to guests that the bride does not take the day seriously.

16. I hate it when the couple includes their PETS IN THE CEREMONY, having them walk down the aisle or walk with them or deliver the ring and even putting clothing on them for the day and posing for pictures as a married couple with the animal in the midst.

This practice, to my mind, undermines the sacredness and seriousness of the event. It is called holy matrimony and is between a man and a woman (two humans). Therefore, no matter the culture and how the animal is loved, it remains an animal and should not be featuring so prominently in it.

Now that you know what I personally hate about some types of Weddings are there any practices that you do not like to see or are you fine with everything?

(Written in 2024 and uploaded on 07th July, 2024, added to thereafter)