(The Called To Be A Wife Series)

As a single woman who has never experienced being one with a man before (it is only by the grace of God that I am still a virgin), this morning and yesterday, I’ve been thinking, of what I would need, to give myself fully, completely, willingly, lovingly, excitedly, no holding back and all the way, to my husband on our Wedding night.

For me, certain factors must be present, for our first time together to be explosively beautiful. For, I have never been and don’t think will ever be someone that could just give my body away to another, for the sake of sex.

It would be heart breaking and humiliating for me, for example, if I were to have sex with someone who was not my husband or who did not truly love me, respect me, consider me to be precious and understand my worth but who merely saw me as just an object or another female or a convenience.

That being said, for me to give myself completely on my honeymoon night and willingly, no holding back, I MUST be convinced that:

  • ONE – The man I have married is one of God’s sons, he has the Spirit of Christ indwelling him and is therefore truly regenerated. I therefore need him to be a genuine Believer;
  • TWO – He did not happen along my path by mere coincidence. God sent him to me to be my husband and all that this entails. It is therefore God’s perfect will for us to be together in every way and he is well pleased when, after the Wedding, we finally do get ready to come together physically, passionately (whatever God puts together is not boring), to consummate the marriage and to enjoy ourselves to the fullest!). I therefore need him to be not just godly but God-sent;
  • THREE – Given that he has been sent by God to me, he has come, not to hurt me or break me or cause me pain but for my welfare, my good, my betterment, to build me up beautifully, to willingly invest in my all-round success selflessly and to willingly care for and cherish me, as something precious that God has given to him, to have and to keep holding for a lifetime. I therefore need him to selflessly have my best interest at heart and to know my worth;
  • FOUR – He is crazy about me because of the fervency of the love that he has for me (sort of like the kind of love Jacob had for Rachel and the kind where he would be willing to give up his own life for mine, if necessary). His attraction to me on all three levels (including the physical) is so high, that it is by the grace of God alone and to honour HIM in obedience, that he did not try to touch me improperly while courting and he is beyond excited at the very thought of getting to touch, kiss and be with me so intimately as my husband, honourably, without any restriction, something he could not do and could not see, before he committed to a lifetime as my husband. I therefore need him to not be passive or nonchalant about me but to love me fervently and passionately, to the point where absolutely no other woman on the face of the planet, now or in a lifetime, will ever do. His desire must be towards me and only me (SoS: 7:10). That is what I want and I am willing to continue to wait for it;
  • FIVE – I love him back to the same extent (I cannot imagine walking down the aisle to a man that I did not truly love and admire). I am also crazily attracted to him on all three levels (including the physical) and am equally invested in his all-round success. Due to the extent of my love and devotion for him, I also get weak when I just think about our Wedding night and us getting to finally take our love for each other to a new and unprecedented level of sweet, divinely instituted intimacy with each other, for the very first time and as husband and wife, to the glory of God the Father; I therefore need to want to be with this man badly, on all levels and to love, admire, respect and cherish him passionately;
  • SIX – Although I’ve never slept with a man, I trust this man completely (in so far as a human being can be trusted), that I’m not going to get hurt and that this encounter (although new and a bit nerve-racking, given that I’m not sure what to expect of the experience and that there will be a bit of self-consciousness), will be beautiful because I know he is God’s son, that God sent him to me, that he therefore blesses our union and that this man loves me dearly and will take his time, as precious porcelain with me. I therefore need to be with someone that has proven himself to be trustworthy.


I can’t believe I just put all this into an Article but I did! Why should we behave as if physical intimacy is something taboo and dirty? It is only filthy and sinful if done outside of a marriage. When done in a marriage and with a person that God wants you to be with and you love each other dearly, I am sure that a beautiful fragrance is sent up to heaven during the lovemaking and I wouldn’t be surprised if the angels in heaven rejoice in support of us, as well.

(Written on 04th December, 2020)

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