(My One Day Dream Wedding Series)
I’ve been to several Weddings and watched quite a few on YouTube over the years and the norm is that the husband and wife spend the day showering praises on each other and declaring their love through words, music, food and décor, seemingly in a million ways. One says, “I love you” and the other, “I love you more” and the crowd “oohs” and “ahhhs” in admiration, some even with a little bit of envy but many with well-wishes and lots of awe.
This is what people expect when they attend a Wedding or have the privilege of viewing one through technological means. After all, it is THE DAY that two become one. They have chosen each other and have set this day to publicly declare their lifelong commitment to each other, which is supposed to be forged by the foundation of love.
Yet, I have a different vision for my Big Day. As much as I am sure I would love my husband dearly and he would me, I cannot see myself spending that day declaring my husband’s praises and how much I love him, to our guests. For, while my love for him would be an established fact (or else I wouldn’t have agreed to be his wife), somebody else, in my view, deserves my attention on that day.
There will be time enough on our honeymoon and throughout our marriage, for me to continuously declare my love for my husband and to let him and people know, how much I love and appreciate having him in my life… but on my Wedding Day, I want to publicly declare my love for JESUS.
This may strike you as strange because it is not the norm but here is my rationale:
1. JESUS HAS BEEN AROUND FOR ALL OF MY YEARS.
My husband, on the other hand, has only known me for a few months or a few years (as the case may be).
For the past umpteen years of my life, it has been God that has been there with me, preserved, protected, upheld and guided me through this life, which can be treacherous at times.
When I consider this and I compare it with a spouse who, as much as he claims to love me now was absent for the majority of my life experience thus far and is practically fresh on the scene, I have to dedicate my Wedding Day, not to my spouse (who is a Johnny- come-lately, as the saying goes) but to God, the only one who truly knows me inside out and was there even from the time I was being formed in my mother’s womb, to date.
2. JESUS HAS BEEN THERE THROUGH MY WORST LIFE EXPERIENCES AND THROUGH MY LOWEST, MOST PAINFUL AND HUMILIATING MOMENTS.
My husband, on the other hand was a mere figment of my imagination then.
With all my ups and downs in life, all my adversities, disappointments, heartbreaks, mistakes, failures, ridicule, shame, loneliness, pain, misunderstandings, criticism, rejection and sorrows, Jesus was the one that was there to bring comfort to my hurting soul, all these years.
When I consider this and the fact that my spouse, (who I am sure will help comfort me through storms as we move forward) has only just arrived, I have to praise God above my husband on my Wedding Day.
For, had it not been the Lord who was there with me through thick and thin all those years, I’d be somewhere completely out of my mind right now or dead from the stresses of life. When I consider that it is the Lord that is responsible for any good, any beauty that is now manifest in me and not my spouse, it is Jesus to whom my praise is indebted and no other, not even my husband.
3. JESUS LOVES MY SOUL WITH A LOVE THAT WILL LAST FOR ALL ETERNITY.
My husband, on the other hand, loves my earthly package.
As much as my spouse claims to love me, Jesus is the only one that loves me with a love that endures because he is not fixated as a human being tends to be, on the physical me which shall see corruption one day but on my soul, which will continue to exist forever.
When I consider that Jesus is the lover of my soul, that is deep, so deep that it blows me away. For, he is not the lover of my body or of my personality or of my character or anything else that pertains to my temporary package here on earth that will inevitably fail but of that part of me that will live on forever.
That is a love that cannot be matched. That is a love that cannot be quenched. No human being can begin to compete with that kind of love. For, Jesus is saying: “I love the part of you that will live on forever.”
That is what you call an everlasting love and therefore, on my Wedding Day, if Jesus ever allows me to get to that place at the altar through his grace and his grace alone, I must needs give him all the praise, not my husband.
4. JESUS HAS GIVEN ME THE ASSURANCE THAT HE WILL NEVER LEAVE ME OR FORSAKE ME.
My husband, on the other hand, can make vows but there is no guarantee that he wouldn’t.
My husband can sincerely make vows to be with me for as long as we both shall live and declare how much he loves me in the presence of many witnesses and even be sincere about it but he can’t really guarantee (being an imperfect human being) that he will not leave me in the future or that the love he claims to have for me, will not lessen or fail. I hope that that never happens and that his love and commitment for me is genuine and God-inspired, so that it will never fail by God’s grace but my husband cannot give this assurance.
I’ve been to Weddings where the husband seemed to be so in love with his bride, one even singing about this being the best day of his life, then some years down the road, mainly due to the husband’s unfaithful actions, that relationship went kaput!
When I consider the uncertainty of my future with a human being that was born in sin and shaped in iniquity, like me and compare that to the blessed assurance I have in Christ Jesus and in particular, that he, Jesus, has promised and has thus far demonstrated, that he will never leave me or forsake me but will be with me right up to the end of this world and when I consider that his promise (unlike that of a man) is one that I can put full confidence and trust in, I simply must give him all the praise on my Wedding Day, over and above what I give to my husband. For with him (Jesus), I have a lifelong covenant that is worth more than any insurance policy or earthly marital vows.
God forbid, should my husband be foolish enough to leave me or treat me poorly, Jesus will still be by my side and loving me.
5. JESUS HAS AUTHORED A LOVE STORY WITH ME WHICH BEGAN BEFORE I MET MY HUSBAND AND WILL CONTINUE ON EVEN AFTER I DIE.
My love story with my husband, on the other hand, started many years later and will end as soon as one of us dies.
When I die and go to heaven (by the grace of God and solely due to my faith in Jesus), there will be no continuation of earthly marriage there and no new marriages there. My earthly husband will therefore no longer have any relevance as my husband in heaven but I will still be part of the Church and therefore part of the bride of Christ. The love story which began with Jesus on earth therefore, will continue into heaven, whereas the love story between me and my husband will have come to an end on earth.
When I consider this sobering truth, that one story is temporary whereas the other is eternal, I feel like I must give Jesus all the praise on my Wedding Day because my love story with him has no other worthy comparison. It is unparalleled and perpetual. It will never fail.
6. JESUS’ GRACE AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE TO ME IS MATCHLESS.
On the other hand, no husband could ever show me so much grace and mercy.
When I consider that it is through the mercies of God, that I have not been consumed after all of my wrongs in this life and the sins that I committed, I must remember the one who has been merciful to me all my life and gave me good things, when I did not deserve them.
Out of a heart overwhelmed and out-poured with gratitude therefore, I must of necessity, shower Jesus with all the praise on my Wedding Day. There will not be much left to give to my spouse really, on that day. He will have to wait until our honeymoon night. For, as much as I will love my husband, I imagine a day where I will mainly have eyes for Jesus. When I consider the wonder, the beauty, the awesomeness of his grace and the extent of his love for me, which is unconditional, my husband fades in comparison.
7. JESUS DESERVES ALL THE GLORY FOR BRINGING THE DAY INTO A REALITY.
My husband, on the other hand, had no power of himself to do so.
Having known what it is to have my heart broken, to be disappointed, to feel rejected unwanted, unloved, alone, worthless, unappreciated, not valued, sad, confused, weak, forsaken, desolate and even forgotten in this world, to cry out to the Lord for years and years, even as people ridiculed my singleness and having known what it is for Jesus to grant you what you did not even deserve and to provide you with a high quality husband despite your countless mistakes and imperfections, I know that I could never get to a Wedding Day unless God in his mercy, deliberately and miraculously orchestrated things, so that I could pass my husband’s way, be noticed by him and presented to him.
Even then, I could never get to a Wedding Day unless, after God presented me to him, God put within him a desire to know me, a determination to pursue me, a heart to love me and a resolve to marry me.
When I consider this truth and the beauty of going from a life lived as a single woman for many, many years, to God putting you into a family that he has brought about for your good and His glory, I am filled with awe. If ever I should get to that day when, what seemed impossible with time and circumstance became a reality and therefore, the fulfillment of one of my greatest desires and answered prayer, this would be so humbling to me, that with tears, I would feel bound to return to express in some measure, my gratitude (which would overflow) to God and publicly, in the presence of all those witnesses.
In conclusion, the vision I have for my Wedding Day and the rationale behind it is expressed beautifully, I think, in Psalm 116. It reads:
- “I love the Lord, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications. Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live. The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow. Then called I upon the name of the Lord; O Lord, I beseech thee, deliver my soul.
- Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful. The Lord preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me. Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee. For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.
- I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living. I believed, therefore have I spoken: I was greatly afflicted: I said in my haste, All men are liars.
- What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits toward me? I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the Lord. I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people… I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the Lord. I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people. In the courts of the Lord’s house, in the midst of thee, O Jerusalem. Praise ye the Lord.”
(Written on 22nd April, 2019)
Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be interesting, information or edifying, you may also be interested in reading the following:
Note 30 – ‘What Will Be Your Wedding Day Message?’