(The Setting A Good Foundation Series)

I woke up on the morning of the 20th March, 2020, a time where the whole world was running crazy with the coronavirus pandemic (including my own country which at that point, had had nine (9) confirmed cases).

Yet, although unusual, one thought or one sentence pervaded my mind as soon as I awoke and I felt that it was given to me while sleeping. It was: The relationship will be sparked by a SPIRITUAL connection.

If what was suddenly occupying my mind was from God, I took that to mean, that it was being impressed upon my heart, that my spirituality was the route that God would use to bring my husband to me.

Just about two or three days prior, I had prayed and asked God to provide me with a man where our spiritual attraction to each other was the strongest of the three attractions (that is, stronger than our emotional and physical attraction for each other).

As someone who was once very emotionally attracted to a guy who was not a Christian and therefore with zero spiritual connection and later, very physically attracted to a guy who had professed faith in Jesus Christ but still with zero spiritual connection, I have learned over the years and have come to appreciate the significance of not just having a spiritual connection with someone in the body of Christ because you both are regenerated by God’s Holy Spirit but having a STRONG spiritual connection. I have also realized that, while an emotional attraction and a physical attraction are both necessary in a healthy and thriving Christian relationship, the spiritual attraction is most important.

Fully awake, I sat down to meditate on some scriptures and spiritual truths as part of my morning devotions and while doing so, more downloads came, one after the next, giving further insight into the meaning of the statement. I therefore got pen and paper and I wrote the insight I believed that God was giving for my own life and that of other Christians and this Article is the result.

If you are a Christian, in that you truly believe that Jesus Christ (the Son of God) rose from the dead on the third day as he said he would and you have confessed him as Lord, surrendering your whole life in obedience to his authority and control, then if you desire to have a husband, below are seven (7) indicators which you can look for, to help you know that God has authored your relationship and approves of your union.

The list is by no means exhaustive. There are other indications I am sure but in this Article, I only feel led to write about these seven (7).

Also, some people may argue that they know that God put them together, although one or more of the factors below were not present. I am not disputing that. That is for you, your significant other and the Lord to work out. I am simply saying that, if as a Christian, the following seven (7) indicators exist in your relationship, it is in my view, a sure overwhelming indication, that God brought the two of you together and wants the two of you to be together, as in married to one another.

Having said that, without further ado, here goes:


  • FIRSTLY – Prior to your meeting each other or observing each other, in SPIRITUAL maturity, you both prayed and sincerely sought God’s perfect will for a mate and waited on him, his timing and his choice, in faith, knowing, in absolute confidence and complete trust in him and his ability to provide, that his timing is best, he is the best matchmaker and he is the perfect love story writer.
  • SECONDLY – Prior to you meeting each other or being interested in each other, you both came to a place in your individual relationship with Christ, where you realized that, although it ought not to stand on its own, the SPIRITUAL connection is the most important in a sustainable, God-glorifying relationship. For, although it does not necessarily create the other attractions (emotional and physical), you both realized in your individual walk with God that, if you are thinking sustainability (a relationship that is successful, fruitful and lasts), the spiritual connection and attraction is the firmest of the three foundations and is what would keep adding fuel to or recharging the other attractions.
  • THIRDLY – The way you met or your link to each other was first created and started spiritually (not emotionally or physically). That is, your SPIRITUALITY first brought you together or enabled your meeting or sparked the interest. While going from strength to strength spiritually in your getting to know each other, you both find that this then gradually makes way for an emotional bond and connection to develop. You both also find that there is a physical attraction and undercurrent that is undeniably there and with a power to be explosive but you want it to explode for God’s glory, not the devil’s, so you both know from the get-go, that it is to be handled carefully. While this physical undercurrent excites both of you, you are both content, delighted and grateful to know that it is there but you also know that it is to be left dormant and not explored or entertained until after marriage. For, timing and God’s approval is everything to both of you and you are both content, grateful and excited to know that one day, with God’s blessing, this physical undercurrent (which is mind-blowingly strong but is asleep and not to be yet awakened), can be developed without restriction or inhibition, just not today.
  • FOURTHLY – You are attracted to each other on all three (3) dimensions and all three (3) are strong, namely: Spiritually, Emotionally and Physically but the SPIRITUAL connection, attraction and bond is the strongest of the three.
  • FIFTHLY – Your area/s of Ministry, gifts and what you are passionate about for God’s glory, complement the other person’s area/s of Ministry, gifts and passionate causes and you find that your SPIRITUAL goals for God’s Kingdom, while not necessarily identical are harmoniously aligned.
  • SIXTHLY – You find spiritual compatibility in your core beliefs, values and perspective on life, which is important, as your beliefs inform your values and your values then shape your perspective on life. He doesn’t just say he is a Christian or just go to Church or just come from a family that people consider to be Christians or just involve himself in ‘Ministry activities’ but he also genuinely shares your fundamental SPIRITUAL beliefs and values, resulting in the both of you looking at life through the same lens.
  • SEVENTHLY – You are both emotionally and physically attracted to each other and crazy excited about getting to spend the rest of your lives together so as to explore these attractions even further BUT you are both most excited about the beauty of what could be achieved SPIRITUALLY in terms of your own self-development, in each other, in opportunities presented to reach the lives of others and generally, in terms of Ministry for God’s Kingdom, as a result of you coming together.

(Written on 20th March, 2020)

Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be informative, edifying or interesting, I recommend that you also read the following:

  • Note 1 – ‘God-sent vs. Devil-sent – The Difference’
  • Note 2 – ‘God-sent or Just God-ly?’
  • Note 5 – ‘How To Tell If He’s Your God-Sent’
  • Note 11 – ‘Looking For A Husband? – God Will Not Send…’

Additionally, under the ‘SINGLE Daughters of God’ Page:

  • Note 51 – ‘Characteristics of a Counterfeit’

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