39. THEY SAY I’M CRAZY

Yesterday, someone who I did not expect, suddenly lashed out at me by telling me that he was of the view that something was not right with me mentally. We have had many conversations and although he is a ‘professer’ of Christianity, I have realized that he has a world view of things and not biblical and sad to say, comes across as quite vacuous when it comes to spiritual matters. He sees everything through natural lens and has in my view, refused to grow spiritually throughout the years and therefore, he finds me strange, peculiar even, as I see things from the perspective of God’s Word.

Fraught with his own issues, he is someone that I have sought to encourage on many an occasion, even when others laughed at his inadequacies and put him down. Yet, yesterday, he said what he said in such a manner, that I realized that he did not mean me well. Instead, he had been commissioned by the enemy to say what he had said and in a way where he obviously hoped that it would hurt me. I perceived venom and vitriol in his heart and it was clear to me that the manner in which he had said what he said was not out of any genuine concern for me but with a desire to hurt me or take me down a notch.

Why? Well I was rejoicing in the moment and basking in joy because by God’s grace, I had just pulled off two spectacular events, in the midst of enormous challenges and people could not deny that they were a resounding success!

It worked. I did feel hurt by what he had said, especially as it had come right after I had invited him, a family member, to the two events that I had hosted (when many others were not) and which he had attended and eaten and enjoyed himself, just a few days earlier. This was the thanks that I got, I thought to myself. Had I known that he would make such a nasty comment to me, I would never have invited him to any of the functions. I felt like he had slapped me in the face and he provided no explanation for why he had said what he had said. He simply sought opportunity to rub it in further by repeating it maliciously and I was shocked.

He could have never known that his was just the latest of the many insults and hurtful words that I had received in the past week, as I tried to pull off the events. Somehow, in my deciding to hold the events, the enemy was not at all pleased for some reason and I received all sorts of attacks and attempts to undermine the functions. Maybe my holding the functions would lead to some kind of breakthrough in my life because the enemy fought relentlessly against it, all week and now, three days later, operating through this individual, he was at it again.

The person who joined the bandwagon of trying to abuse me with the tongue, could have never known of the desperate prayers I had made during the week to the Lord, asking him for strength to continue, when I felt discouraged and tearfully wondered why I was even bothering to do what I had planned to do. He could have never known of the extent of the sacrifice involved in me pulling off those events, the biblical reasons for why I had decided to do it, the extent to which I had to practise forgiveness, deny myself, use from my dwindling finances (although not receiving a monthly salary at the moment and without any financial assistance, encouragement or support whatsoever from any other person) and the level of attacks, insults, criticism and vicious put-downs I received while planning and trying to implement the events BUT GOD KNEW.

I had received so many attacks and criticism in that past week and even before, that it was clear that the devil was not at all pleased that I had decided to hold those functions but by the grace of God, I did and by his grace, they came off beautifully.

This morning, I thought again on what the family member had shockingly said and it still hurt. I realized that he and other full-time gossipers had been at it again and most likely were not pleased because I had posted beautiful pictures of both events on my Facebook page, WhatsApp status and sent out video clips to those who I thought would be interested in viewing.

People post stuff like this everyday and regularly update their whatsApp statuses (sometimes more than once per day). I usually don’t unless it is something major and the one time I decide to do so, I am labelled as crazy.

Truth be told, the week of events had gone so well, that they had far exceeded even my own expectations. I realized therefore, that it was the Lord that had stepped in to make the difference. The food was excellent, the decor was excellent and although my standards are exceptionally high, I was genuinely blown away. I put everything together and coordinated yes but not even in my own strength could I have ever produced something so beautiful. Realizing that it was the Lord that had put those extra touches in, I therefore thanked him, as I had asked for help for every event, before I began and during the planning and implementing phases. He had answered my prayer, although I had felt so discouraged and exhausted during the process and he showed up as only he could do and made everything spectacular.

I therefore posted pictures to my Facebook Page and WhatsApp status (as I am entitled to do and which I rarely ever do) and sent pictures and video clips of the events to a few people I thought would be interested, including the family member. Having a passion for decorating, I thought that people would share in my joy that everything had gone so well and enjoy the beautiful pictures.

Yet, typical of human nature, although some people loved it, some people who may have viewed were not too pleased. Believe it or not, some people do not wish to ever see you celebrating or showcasing any achievements. It gets them upset.

Nevertheless, this morning, in contemplating on the insulting remark made, it dawned on me, that I should be rejoicing. I had done good and was so pleased with the awesome results, that I had published them and this had obviously ruffled some jealous feathers. Believe it or not, there are people who want to see you suppressed for all of your life, rejoice when you’re down and get upset when you shine.

People also thought me strange because I try to live my life through a spiritual lens with the guidance of God’s Word the Bible and not in the natural. I try to walk by faith and not by sight and so I make decisions that people (even so-called ‘professers’ of Christianity) think is crazy, like walking away from very lucrative work opportunities because I perceive that the work would involve compromising my faith in my Lord.

Yet, it dawned on me this morning, that if people think me crazy because I choose to model my life after the Word (although I’m not perfect, have made many mistakes and do have issues like everybody else) and because I occasionally choose to publish accomplishments (especially after they came through great sacrifice), then God be praised!

Job did good and in return was accused by people who were supposed to be his friends, of all manner of evil BUT GOD HAD THE RECORD AND IN DUE COURSE, HE REWARDED ACCORDINGLY.

Jesus was perfect, completely without sin, did a whole lot of God and came to save wretched mankind from eternal damnation and yet they called him a winebibber, a glutton and a friend of publicans and sinners (Matthew 11:19). He healed the blind, the dumb and those possessed with devils, yet, he was accused of casting out devils by Beelzebub, the prince of the devils (Matthew 12:24).

The moral of the story is that no matter what you do, even if you do good and it is cause to celebrate, if people have venom in their hearts and have purposed to be nasty, they will be. You can’t control or stop that.

As you seek to pursue after God and to grow spiritually (which involves separation from all that God hates), people (sadly, even some that have professed to know Christ) will find you strange, peculiar and some will even label you as crazy. Yet, this WEBSITE and five (5) affiliated Facebook Ministry Pages which I believe the Lord called me to set up and equipped me for are a snapshot of what such ‘craziness’ produces.

It is clear to me and all that spend time on this Website and those Facebook Pages, that I could have never written all that I wrote in my own puny strength and without the Lord. Once again, it was HE that made the difference. He gifted me with a good measure of wisdom and discernment, gave me talents like writing and then used both to promote HIS glory and with excellence.

Thank you Lord for choosing to use me in your work, as one of your servants. I am blessed, I feel honoured and I am humbled. May it ALL redound to your glory, in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord, Amen.

When God calls you to a work (as he did with me in 2017 or thereabout), people can say whatever they like. By the grace of God, it will STILL get done. As you seek to MOVE FORWARD, people will use their lips to derail but by the grace of God they shall NOT prevail! For, it is “Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord.” (Zechariah 4:6)

Isaiah 54:15 and 17, which was stated to the Israelites but also applies to me as one that is in covenant with God and part of the body of Christ, reminds me:

  • Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not by me: whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake…No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.”

Thank you Father in heaven for showing up and helping me to pull off not one but TWO (2) beautiful events this past week, despite the pain and discouragement surrounding it, which you know. I could only hope and pray that you will do the same for me one day when you grace me with a significant other and on the day that you have set for me to walk down the aisle, provided that it is your will for me to do so. Let your spirit of excellence which you have placed in me, continue to shine bright, despite the accusers, the opposers and the naysayers. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ I ask this, Amen.

In Psalm 55:1-14, David, who was also the subject of much gossip and felt betrayed by the sudden attack from someone he had considered a friend and who he had mistakenly thought was in support of him, stated:

  • “Give ear to my prayer, O God; and hide not thyself from my supplication. Attend unto me, and hear me: I mourn in my complaint, and make a noise; Because of the voice of the enemy, because of the oppression of the wicked: for they cast iniquity upon me, and in wrath they hate me. My heart is sore pained within me: and the terrors of death are fallen upon me. Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath overwhelmed me. And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest. Lo, then would I wander far off, and remain in the wilderness. Selah. I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest.
  • Destroy, O Lord, and divide their tongues: for I have seen VIOLENCE and STRIFE in the city. Day and night they go about it upon the walls thereof: MISCHIEF also and sorrow are in the midst of it. WICKEDNESS is in the midst thereof: DECEIT and GUILE depart not from her streets. For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: BUT IT WAS THOU, A MAN MINE EQUAL, MY GUIDE, AND MINE ACQUAINTANCE. WE TOOK SWEET COUNSEL TOGETHER, AND WALKED UNTO THE HOUSE OF GOD IN COMPANY.”

Despite the many attacks I received in this past week and even before, as I tried to pull of the two events, culminating with the wicked words uttered yesterday in the aftermath, from someone I thought was in support of me and in whom I had confided so much about my past (including painful events which had taken place in my childhood), I take consolation in the fact that God knows everything. I take comfort in his Word which states:

  • “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” (Galatians 6:9)
  • “For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully. For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God. For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously.” (1 Peter 2:19-23)

The person who made the comment, most likely walked away thinking that he had scored some kind of point or other by what he had said to me, clearly hoping to put a damper on my inner rejoicing but it didn’t.

I have learned to accept constructive criticism (when it is motivated out of a heart of love) but even when it isn’t and it is a lie and motivated by nothing but envy, insecurity, maliciousness and bad-mindedness, I have learned to still take it to the Lord for his perspective and to invite him into the situation. For, he had allowed it to be said for a reason. I therefore went to the Him and I prayed, letting him know what had transpired (although he already saw it and knew), how I felt and asking him to help me and heal me of anything within me that may have led the family member (although motivated by wickedness), to say what he said. It is therefore in the Lord’s hands and I know he cares about me, so I can rest in HIM.

Interestingly, the comment came right after a Church service, within which, I had been pouring my heart out to the Lord quietly in prayer, over some things. It was a blessed service that I had really enjoyed and in addition to the prayers I had been muttering quietly throughout the service, I had sung each song with heartfelt praise and thanksgiving to the Lord for all that he had done for me. The enemy knew this and was not at all pleased and so I believe that he sent the individual right after the service, to attack.

Yet, the Word of God tells me that greater is HE that is in me, than he that is in the world and so I SHALL OVERCOME (1 John 4:4). As the apostle Paul declared, “Now thanks be unto God, which ALWAYS causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place.”

Confident of who I am in the Lord Jesus, that malicious words calculated to injure, could never separate me from his love, knowing that I am not perfect and do have issues of brokenness which I am trusting Jesus to help me with and that he (the Lord) plans to do even greater and mind-blowing exploits in my life than those two (2) events, I told the individual that he and those with whom he had been liaising, should brace themselves, as there was more ‘craziness’ to come.

Interestingly, just the night before the latest verbal attack, I had written on my Facebook page, in response to a lovely quote from Martin Luther King:

  • Not every action calculated, orchestrated or intended to provoke a reaction or response, deserves one. Some people and the needless drama they bring are just not worth it. Believe it or not, there are some people who will seek to push your buttons for pushing sake only, maybe because they’re bored or crave attention or the other usual reasons why people seek to create trouble. Let them push as against the wind until they weary themselves out because you’ve opted to take the noble and high path of no resistance (at least in the physical realm).
  • Silence is still golden and wisdom is still key. By God’s grace, #discern what you’re dealing with and the #source of what you’re dealing with and then, organize accordingly. “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood…”(Ephesians 6:12)
  • I applaud you Mr. King. Words of wisdom.”

Martin Luther King had stated, “Those who love peace must learn to organize as effectively as those who love war.”

(Written on 4th April, 2022)

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