85. THE ATTITUDE OF THOSE IN COMFORT TO THE DISCOMFORTED

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In Job 14:1, Job said that “Man that is born of a woman is of few days and full of trouble.” He was right. As one writer observed, when a person is born, it is as if he is immediately handed his bundle, containing his portion of troubles to bear. Each person has his own bundle.

Yet, due to God’s grace and mercy, although sin is at the root of the trouble we face in this world as human beings, sometimes he gives us comfort or periods of comfort. Undoubtedly, each person has a different life journey, a different experience and a different purpose. We don’t live identical lives and some, at least at some stages of life, have it seemingly easier than others.

The truth of the matter is that at any given moment, there are some people who are living a life generally of comfort, whereas there are others going through great upheavals, storms, adversities, trials, troubles and affliction.

The Christian thing to do if we are experiencing a time of general comfort is to help bear the burden of the discomforted, especially if we came out of a time of discomfort ourselves for whatever reason and therefore know first hand how painful, humiliating and discouraging this can be. Irrespective of the reason for the adversity, whether it be because of their stand for Christ or due to sin for which they are being chastened of the Lord or because they are simply reaping what they sowed, we are to aim to assuage the grief of such persons and to help them where we can. There is definitely a place for loving rebuke where applicable if we have sufficient information on the situation to know for a surety that this is warranted. However, we have a responsibility as well when dealing with other professing believers, to encourage, build up, edify and support them through our words and actions, most chiefly, reminding them lovingly, in humility and with wisdom, of whatever God’s Word has to say about their difficulty. In this way, we bring comfort and consolation, not based on lies or any acceptance of wrong for which they may be culpable but in demonstration of the fact that we genuinely care about their welfare and want to help them where we can, if we can.

In the Bible, Paul and Timothy understood this, them having personally gone through great adversity and suffering for the name of Jesus Christ who they believed on, took a stand for and proclaimed. In 2 Corinthians 1:3-8, they wrote to the Church at Corinth:

“Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ. And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye also be of the consolation. For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our troubles which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life. But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead. Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver us.”

In Galatians 6:2, Paul also wrote to the Churches in Galatia encouraging them to “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” Yet, as was evident in the book of Job which gives us insight into a time when he was suffering greatly, people, even family members, friends and other professing believers, sometimes fail us in this our greatest time of need. They do this by how they respond to us during this season. Of a truth, there are exceptions but for most people, them being in comfort, they can be quite cold and unfeeling through their words and actions, driving the pain that we are already going through, even more deeper into our soul.

In studying the story of Job closely and the response of his friends, who were godly men, to him, the discouragement that often comes from those who are in comfort when we are not is apparent, specifically in the following ways:

1. They jump to conclusions and accuse you.

When you are going through what you are going through, people assume the worst of you and accuse you, even when they don’t have the details of your story and don’t know why you are being made to suffer how you are being made to suffer.

Job’s friends assumed the worse of his character and accused him of having sinned against God. They were cruel in their assessment which was not based on any facts or evidence that they had of him but yet, they still gave their mouth liberty, jumping to conclusions about what he had done to deserve all that had befallen him.

They assumed that he was being chastened by God for his wrongdoing. They therefore told him in Job 5:17 “Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty”. Operating on this theory as if it was fact, they also accused him of not being innocent, not being righteous, that he had plowed iniquity, sown wickedness and was reaping the fruit of same (Job 4:7-8).

In Job 4:8-9 and 15:20-35, Job’s friend Eliphaz spoke generally of a wicked man and the downfall that he can expect to experience from God. In doing this, he was implying indirectly without accusing Job outright, that he was wicked and that this was why he was going through what he was going through. However, by Job 22, Eliphaz apparently being angered that Job still maintained that he had not done anything wrong, took the gloves off, so-to-speak and accused Job blatantly of being a wicked man. He even went so far as to name specific acts of wickedness that he was convinced Job was guilty of, although he had no evidence in support of this. In his mind, the extent of Job’s adversity was evidence enough that he had done these terrible things. In verses 5 to 7 and 9 to 10, he told him:

“Is not thy wickedness great? and thine iniquities infinite? For thou hast taken a pledge from thy brother for nought, and stripped the naked of their clothing. Thou hast not given water to the weary to drink, and thou hast withholden bread from the hungry…Thou hast sent widows away empty, and the arms of the fatherless have been broken. Therefore snares are round about thee, and sudden fear troubleth thee.”

Job’s friends also told him as well that his children had sinned against God and were killed as a consequence (Job 8:4). This may well have added to Job’s pain and suffering through guilt that he did not do enough to save them. For, before they had all died in what seemed to be a tornado, Job being a loving and responsible father, the scriptures state that he continually offered sacrifices for his sons when all his children gathered to have their feasts or parties, just in case they had sinned against God in their hearts (Job 1:5). Yet now, his friends were stating that his children had sinned against God, not knowing all that Job had been faithfully doing and for so long, to cover them.

They went further to accuse Job of not being pure and upright (Job 8:6), that he had forgotten God and was a hypocrite (Job 8:13), that he had been cast away by God because he was not perfect or in right standing with him (Job 8:20) and that he was a liar and mocker (Job 11:3). In light of all this, they concluded that he was receiving his just desserts and even less than his sin deserved (Job 8:3; Job 11:6).

Job knew that all of what they were saying was untrue. He could therefore not accept it, although he could not explain why God had allowed and was still allowing so many adverse circumstances in his life. After all of the evil things people believed to be true about him and accused him of, he still maintained that he was not guilty. He had not turned his back on God and been wicked and rebellious, as they had alleged. He had served God faithfully and his conscience was clear. In Job 27:5-6, he told them “God forbid that I should justify you: till I die I will NOT remove mine integrity from me. My righteousness I hold fast, and will NOT let it go: my heart shall not reproach me so long as I live.”

To the one in comfort, it is easy to make accusations like the ones that Job’s friends made and without any proof. To the one going through the adversity though, these words are like nails, driven deeply in the heart. They add to the grief that the sufferer is already experiencing, making the pain all the more greater and difficult to bear. This is especially the case when the sufferer knows that the accusations are not true but there is nothing that he or she can do to change the opinion of the ones leveling the insults at him or her.

2. They think themselves to be more wise, knowledgeable, spiritual, superior and within God’s favour than you and will stand apart from you because they consider you unworthy of their company or are ashamed to associate with you.

When you are going through what you are going through, people will assume that it is because you are outside of God’s favour, that he is frowning at you with great disapproval, that you are not as godly, righteous or spiritual as them and that you need to be schooled from their wealth of knowledge, on biblical matters. They elevate themselves above you because after all, they are not going through half of what you are going through. They are being blessed but you are obviously under a curse and they therefore look down scornfully or pitifully at you and some even ostracize you, thinking themselves too holy to associate with you.

In Job 22:21-22, Eliphaz, convinced that he was more knowledgeable about the ways of God than Job and that Job did not truly know God or have a relationship with him, he condescendingly told Job, “Acquaint now thyself with him, and be at peace: thereby good shall come unto thee. Receive, I pray thee, the law from his mouth, and lay up his words in thine heart.”

Although Job had always been known to be a godly man of character who feared God therefore, his friends demoted him in their minds, thinking that he was not a godly man after all but one full of sin, rebellion and disobedience to God. They assessed him in this way, solely by the extent of what he was going through, them thinking to themselves that surely, God would not cause him to suffer so, had he been faithful. They therefore proceeded to school Job on spiritual matters, them considering him to be beneath their spiritual wisdom. Yet, Job saw the need to remind them time and time again, that all that they were telling him, he also knew. He was not inferior to them. In their minds though, solely because of what he was going through, he was.

In Job 12:3, Job told them ironically, after having been lectured and unnecessarily, “No doubt but ye are the people, and wisdom shall die with you. But I have understanding as well as you; I am not inferior to you: yea, who knoweth not such things as these?” Again, in Job 13:2, he he cause to tell them “What ye know, the same do I know also: I am not inferior unto you.”

Job used the word “inferior” twice, no doubt him having realized that they were now looking down on him by reason of his circumstance. They thought themselves to be better than him simply because they were living lives of comfort and him upheavals and it seems they even harboured contempt for him, them being sure of his guilt before God, disgusted by the sins they were sure he had committed and which had caused God to unleash all these adversities on him. In Job 16:20, Job, realizing that his own friends were looking down at him, stated “My friends scorn me: but mine eye poureth out tears unto God.”

People do the same today, sadly even in Christendom. If they have been blessed with spouses, children, a decent home, a stable and lucrative job and other good things from God, they do not see it as a testament of God’s grace upon them, them having received it although not worthy of same. Instead of being humbled by God’s unmerited goodness in allowing them to procure all they have acquired, they see it as a reason to elevate and esteem themselves in pride above you, who have not been graced to have these things, maybe not as yet or ever. They regard you scornfully, consider you to be inferior to them, especially as it pertains to godliness, them falsely believing that gain is godliness, contrary to 1 Timothy 6:5. They forget that it is possible to be afflicted of God and still be pleasing to him, as the widow with the last two mites demonstrated in Mark 12: 41-44 and the Church at Smyrna.

In Revelation 2:8-10, the glorified Jesus, in high commendation to this very Church, stated:

“And unto the angel of the church in Smyrna write; These things saith the first and the last, which was dead, and is alive;I know thy works, and tribulation, and poverty, (but thou art rich) and I know the blasphemy of them which say they are Jews, and are not, but are the synagogue of Satan. Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried; and ye shall have tribulation ten days: be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life.”

In their pride, people also often ostracize you when you are in your valley, them not esteeming you as worthy enough of their company.

Some people had ostracized Job in his grief, them perhaps being ashamed of being found to be in association with him given all that he was going through. His good name and character had been marred in the minds of the masses by the adversity he was experiencing and they wanted nothing to do with him due to this. In my view, to be seen with him or around him, would have apparently been a shameful thing and one that would bring dishonour to them in the minds of others and so they kept their distance, even as Jesus’ disciples did when he had been taken to be crucified. Mark 14:50 and 54 states of Jesus’ disciples “And they all forsook him, and fled…And Peter followed him afar off…”

Disappointingly, in recollecting on his time of adversity and how he was treated by other people (inclusive of his brothers and sisters in Christ), Paul in the New Testament stated of the ostracism he himself endured:

“At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me: I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge. Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me; that by me the preaching might be fully known, and that all the Gentiles might hear: and I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion.”

Having come out of what he was going through, he attributed his survival not to those who had helped him and given him a word of encouragement during his time of difficulty but solely on God, who prove himself faithful and granted him beautiful deliverance from his affliction.

David had a similar experience and testimony. In Psalm 142:4-5, he stated of a time when he was going through what he was going through:

^“I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul. I cried unto thee, O Lord: I said, Thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living.”

In Psalm 31:9-12, David cried out to the Lord at a time when he was having a tumultous valley experience, him stating:

“Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am in trouble: mine eye is consumed with grief, yea, my soul and my belly.For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength faileth because of mine iniquity, and my bones are consumed. I was a reproach among all mine enemies, but especially among my neighbours, and a fear to mine acquaintance: they that did see me without fled from me. I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind: I am like a broken vessel.”

The Psalmist in Psalm 88 also stated to the Lord of his time of suffering and the ostracism he endured during this season, “Lover and friend hast thou put far from me, and mine acquaintance into darkness.“

That people can be brutal to those going through affliction in their season of comfort is saddening but it is the reality of what has always happened and continues to happen. People will think the worst of you, badmouth you, mock you, consider your trouble as entertainment, look down at you condescendingly, feel the need to give you advice and separate themselves from you when you are in your season of tumult and storm, when they should be doing the opposite.

This was evident in Job’s situation. Although he had been a support to people in general when he was in his time of comfort, people turned on him when he was going through his season of adversity. All of his children having died, his wife who was supposed to be a help meet to him and should have given him much needed encouragement and wisdom in this time, gave him bad advice which would have been detrimental to his life and soul, telling him to curse God and die.

Job stated of the ostracism he endured on account of his trials, him being considered by people to now be of no worth, irrelevant and insignificant:

“He hath put my brethren far from me, and mine acquaintance are verily estranged from me. My kinsfolk have failed, and my familiar friends have forgotten me.They that dwell in mine house, and my maids, count me for a stranger: I am an alien in their sight.I called my servant, and he gave me no answer; I intreated him with my mouth.” (Job 19:13-16)

Sadly, his extended family had deserted him, leaving him to bear his pains alone. It was only after God turned his situation around and restored him, that they returned, as typical humanity does. People are good at deserting you when you are down in a dark, lonely and scary valley but come back around when you are back up on a mountain. I call them fair weather people.

Job 42:10-11 states of Job’s restoration:

“And the Lord turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before. Then came there unto him all his brethren, and all his sisters, and all they that had been of his acquaintance before, and did eat bread with him in his house: and they bemoaned him, and comforted him over all the evil that the Lord had brought upon him: every man also gave him a piece of money, and every one an earring of gold.”

3. They are insensitive to your situation and pain, underestimating the extent of your grief and speaking callously and harshly about you to others and to you.

When you are going through what you are going through, sometimes, expecting people to understand and to sympathize with you, to even treat you gently, is too much. They turn their guns so-to-speak, on you and hit you with heavy stones, when you are already down. They do not carefully consider their words and how it will affect you but deliver them insensitively, them either not caring that they will add to your hurt or intending them to do just that.

In Job 4:3-5, Job’s friends told him, clearly trivializing the enormity of all that he had been through with the sudden loss of all of his children, his wealth and his health and all that he continued to go through and regarding him as if he had no backbone and was weak:

“Behold, thou hast instructed many, and thou hast strengthened the weak hands. Thy words have upholden him that was falling, and thou hast strengthened the feeble knees. But now it is come upon thee, and thou faintest; it toucheth thee, and thou art troubled.”

As people who had never been through what he had been through, it was easy for them to speak in this manner. For, adversity had never touched them in this way and so, they could not begin to understand or know the depth of his pain.

In Job 5:1-2, they went further and told him callously, “Call now, if there be any that will answer thee; and to which of the saints wilt thou turn? For wrath killeth the foolish man, and envy slayeth the silly one.”

Their judgmental words were so cruel, that in Job 12:4-5, Job, who knew that he had not brought his calamity upon himself by any sin, commented, in response to their unjust accusations:

“I am as one mocked of his neighbour, who calleth upon God, and he answereth him: the just upright man is laughed to scorn. He that is ready to slip with his feet is as a lamp despised in the thought of him that is at ease.”

In Job 6:21-30, he also told them, in consideration for the fact that he had not even asked them to come and to help him or to give him any advice:

“For now ye are nothing; ye see my casting down, and are afraid. Did I say, Bring unto me? or, Give a reward for me of your substance? Or, Deliver me from the enemy’s hand? or, Redeem me from the hand of the mighty? Teach me, and I will hold my tongue: and cause me to understand wherein I have erred. How forcible are right words! but what doth your arguing reprove? Do ye imagine to reprove words, and the speeches of one that is desperate, which are as wind? Yea, ye overwhelm the fatherless, and ye dig a pit for your friend. Now therefore be content, look upon me; for it is evident unto you if I lie. Return, I pray you, let it not be iniquity; yea, return again, my righteousness is in it. Is there iniquity in my tongue? cannot my taste discern perverse things?”

So insensitive were they in the things they accused him of, that in Job 6:2-3 and 14-15, as the one who was experiencing the suffering first hand, Job cried:

“Oh that my grief were throughly weighed, and my calamity laid in the balances together! For now it would be heavier than the sand of the sea: therefore my words are swallowed up…To him that is afflicted pity should be shewed from his friend; but he forsaketh the fear of the Almighty. My brethren have dealt deceitfully as a brook, and as the stream of brooks they pass away”

So hurtful were their harsh words, that in Job 19:2-3 and 21-22, Job also cried:

“How long will ye vex my soul, and break me in pieces with words?These ten times have ye reproached me: ye are not ashamed that ye make yourselves strange to me…Have pity upon me, have pity upon me, O ye my friends; for the hand of God hath touched me.Why do ye persecute me as God, and are not satisfied with my flesh?”

On the whole, Job’s three friends who had come to bring him comfort and generally meant well, ended up doing more damage than good with what they told him, their insensitivity to his ordeal causing him to say to them in Job 16:2-8:

“…miserable comforters are ye all. Shall vain words have an end? or what emboldeneth thee that thou answerest? I also could speak as ye do: if your soul were in my soul’s stead, I could heap up words against you, and shake mine head at you. But I would strengthen you with my mouth, and the moving of my lips should asswage your grief. Though I speak, my grief is not asswaged: and though I forbear, what am I eased? But now he hath made me weary: thou hast made desolate all my company. And thou hast filled me with wrinkles, which is a witness against me: and my leanness rising up in me beareth witness to my face.”

In short, Job told them that they had made his pain all the more worse by how they had responded to his suffering.

4) They assume that it is within your power to bring your situation to an end.

When you are going through what you are going through, be it years of singleness, childlessness, financial trouble, unemployment, ill-health or otherwise, people believe that due to it being your fault, it is also within your power to bring an end to your suffering.

They are convinced that, if only you would have the right attitude, accept your wrong, repent of your sin, stop doing what you have been doing or simply put more effort into what you are doing, that you would come out of what you are going through. They regard your trouble as if the door of freedom is wide open but you refuse to walk through it. When they look on and the adversity continues therefore for what they deem to be too prolonged a period, they conclude that you are complicit in its perpetuation, that you are simply not doing enough or what is required to procure the end of it and so they accuse and attack you accordingly.

They do not understand that there are times that, try as you might, God may choose to have the door shut and for you to remain in your situation, no matter what you do, how much you pray and even fast about it. This was exactly the case with Job. God had shut him in and he could not get out of his adversity, at least until God was good and ready to turn his situation around. Yet, his friends acted as if he was responsible for prolonging his grief and was not taking the necessary steps to end it. They concluded that he was wicked and that if only he would repent to God of it, that he would be released from his bondage of affliction.

In Job 8:5-7, they told him:

“If thou wouldest seek unto God betimes, and make thy supplication to the Almighty; If thou wert pure and upright; surely now he would awake for thee, and make the habitation of thy righteousness prosperous. Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase.”

In Job 11:13-20, they also told him:

“If thou prepare thine heart, and stretch out thine hands toward him; If iniquity be in thine hand, put it far away, and let not wickedness dwell in thy tabernacles. For then shalt thou lift up thy face without spot; yea, thou shalt be stedfast, and shalt not fear: Because thou shalt forget thy misery, and remember it as waters that pass away: And thine age shall be clearer than the noonday: thou shalt shine forth, thou shalt be as the morning. And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope; yea, thou shalt dig about thee, and thou shalt take thy rest in safety. Also thou shalt lie down, and none shall make thee afraid; yea, many shall make suit unto thee. But the eyes of the wicked shall fail, and they shall not escape, and their hope shall be as the giving up of the ghost.”

In Job 22:23-28, they further told him, them seemingly believing that once a person was godly and pleasing God, that he would reward that person with earthly gain and riches:

“If thou return to the Almighty, thou shalt be built up, thou shalt put away iniquity far from thy tabernacles. Then shalt thou lay up gold as dust, and the gold of Ophir as the stones of the brooks. Yea, the Almighty shall be thy defence, and thou shalt have plenty of silver. For then shalt thou have thy delight in the Almighty, and shalt lift up thy face unto God. Thou shalt make thy prayer unto him, and he shall hear thee, and thou shalt pay thy vows. Thou shalt also decree a thing, and it shall be established unto thee: and the light shall shine upon thy ways.”

Like Job’s friends, people experiencing a season of comfort, often behave as if it is within your power to end your adversity. Then, when it remains and for a prolonged period of time, they turn on you viciously, convinced that you are remaining in the situation by choice. If you walk away from a lucrative job for example, after taking a stand for Christ so as to not compromise on your beliefs, they say that you do not want to work. When you can’t find other employment, even after literally sending out hundreds of job applications (which they don’t know) and due to God wanting you to himself in that season for the work that he has for you to do or for work that he wants to do in you and through you, they regard you as lazy (although you have always had an excellent work ethic all your life). They pronounce that you should not even be allowed to eat bread because you are content in your situation and could end it in an instant if you wished and they even theorize that perhaps, you are not even a Christian, given that God seemingly has forsaken you in your trouble.

Job’s friends were convinced that if Job repented of his sins before God and stopped doing the rebellious and wicked things they were convinced he had been doing, that God would end his suffering and turn around his situation. It was unfathomable to them, that God would allow a man to suffer as Job had suffered and continued to suffer, if that man was found to be pleasing in his sight. They therefore regarded Job as completely responsible for his problems and as having the power to immediately change them.

Yet, people who try their best and still remain stuck in their valley circumstance realize, even as Job realized, that they have been shut in and made to be stuck in their situation, by none other than God.

Job realized that he could not get out no matter what he did, until the almighty God had purposed to release him. He therefore stated of God, although his accusers did not believe him:

“Behold, he breaketh down, and it cannot be built again: he SHUTTETH UP a man, and there can be no opening. Behold, he withholdeth the waters, and they dry up: also he sendeth them out, and they overturn the earth.” (Job 12:14-15)

“He hath FENCED up my way that I cannot pass, and he hath set darkness in my paths.” (Job 19:8)

That God sometimes does this for his own divine purposes (as was the case with Job), the glorified Lord Jesus Christ stated in Revelation 3:7-8:

“And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write; These things saith he that is holy, he that is true, he that hath the key of David, he that openeth, and no man shutteth; and SHUTTETH, and no man openeth; I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and hast kept my word, and hast not denied my name.”

In Psalm 88:1-3 and 8 where the author of that Psalm prayed to God for deliverance in his season of adversity, he acknowledged that he was stuck in his situation and beyond anything that he could do to change it because God had shut him up. In his prayer to God he stated:

“O Lord God of my salvation, I have cried day and night before thee: Let my prayer come before thee: incline thine ear unto my cry; For my soul is full of troubles: and my life draweth nigh unto the grave…I am SHUT UP, and I cannot come forth.“

When God allows a person or a people to be shut up or held captive in adversity for whatever reason, they cannot come forth until HE releases them from their captivity. This is clear from the following scriptures:

“The word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying, Thus speaketh the Lord God of Israel, saying, Write thee all the words that I have spoken unto thee in a book. For, lo, the days come, saith the Lord, that I will bring again the CAPTIVITY of my people Israel and Judah, saith the Lord: and I will cause them to return to the land that I gave to their fathers, and they shall possess it.” (Jeremiah 30:1-3)

“Behold, I will bring it health and cure, and I will cure them, and will reveal unto them the abundance of peace and truth. And I will cause the CAPTIVITY of Judah and the captivity of Israel to return, and will build them, as at the first. And I will cleanse them from all their iniquity, whereby they have sinned against me; and I will pardon all their iniquities, whereby they have sinned, and whereby they have transgressed against me. And it shall be to me a name of joy, a praise and an honour before all the nations of the earth, which shall hear all the good that I do unto them: and they shall fear and tremble for all the goodness and for all the prosperity that I procure unto it. Thus saith the Lord; Again there shall be heard in this place, which ye say shall be desolate without man and without beast, even in the cities of Judah, and in the streets of Jerusalem, that are desolate, without man, and without inhabitant, and without beast, The voice of joy, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride, the voice of them that shall say, Praise the Lord of hosts: for the Lord is good; for his mercy endureth for ever: and of them that shall bring the sacrifice of praise into the house of the Lord. For I will cause to return the CAPTIVITY of the land, as at the first, saith the Lord.” (Jeremiah 33:6-11)

“Oh that the salvation of Israel were come out of Zion! When God bringeth back the CAPTIVITY of his people, Jacob shall rejoice, and Israel shall be glad.” (Psalm 53:6)

“And the Lord turned the CAPTIVITY of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before.” (Job 42:10)

“When the Lord turned again the CAPTIVITY of Zion, we were like them that dream. Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The Lord hath done great things for them. The Lord hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad. Turn again our CAPTIVITY, O Lord, as the streams in the south. They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.” (Psalm 126:1-6)

5) They will gang up against you, turn against you and treacherously position themselves as your enemy.

When you are going through what you are going through, people will turn against you, including those who you never thought in a million years would do so. Instead of seeking to encourage and uplift you, they will combine forces to send out poisonous arrows with their words and actions so as to hit you down. Although you are not interested in war and due to your grief feel weary and as if you don’t even have strength to fight, you will realize that they have fiercely positioned themselves in array, as if in battle, against you, them relentlessly and aggressively hating on you or manifesting by their words and actions, an intense dislike for you. Many of those who you thought were for you and on your side and would give you much needed support and encouragement in this dark and lowly season where you feel so afraid and vulnerable, will shockingly betray you, side with those who speak wickedly about you and consider you to be their enemy, treating you accordingly.

Job went through this when he was in his adversities. He stated in Job 19:18 and 19, “Yea, young children despised me; I arose, and they spake against me. All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.”

In Job 16:9-11, he stated:

“He teareth me in his wrath, who hateth me: he gnasheth upon me with his teeth; mine enemy sharpeneth his eyes upon me. They have gaped upon me with their mouth; they have smitten me upon the cheek reproachfully; they have gathered themselves together against me.”

In Job 30:10-11, he also stated:

“They abhor me, they flee far from me, and spare not to spit in my face.Because he hath loosed my cord, and afflicted me, they have also let loose the bridle before me.”

David had a similar experience during his time of suffering. People who he thought genuinely cared about him by reason of his past relationship with them, only visited him in his down time to get information to go and spread his business maliciously to others. They were no longer for him and perhaps had never been but now, when he was down, they blatantly positioned themselves as his enemies, wishing him evil and fighting against him with their words.

In Psalm 41:5-12 he stated:

“Mine enemies speak evil of me, When shall he die, and his name perish? And if he come to see me, he speaketh vanity: his heart gathereth iniquity to itself; when he goeth abroad, he telleth it. All that hate me whisper together against me: against me do they devise my hurt. An evil disease, say they, cleaveth fast unto him: and now that he lieth he shall rise up no more. Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me. But thou, O Lord, be merciful unto me, and raise me up, that I may requite them. By this I know that thou favourest me, because mine enemy doth not triumph over me. And as for me, thou upholdest me in mine integrity, and settest me before thy face for ever.”

In Psalm 35, when he was again going through a dark season in his life, David found himself surrounded by enemies, which included people that he had supported and uplifted during their season of trouble. While he was doing them nothing and simply seeking strength to get through his adversity, these people were coming out of the woodwork so-to-speak and aggressively, to attack him hatefully, venomously, viciously and wickedly. They saw an opportunity when he was down, not to help him up or to encourage him in what he was going through but perhaps through envy or otherwise, to laugh at him and his situation, to celebrate in his grief and ultimately, to kick him down further. Is it no wonder that the scripture in Jeremiah 17:9 describes man’s heart as deceitful and desperately wicked?

Due to all that these people around him were doing (including those he had helped, thought were his friends and that they would support him in his difficult season), David cried out from a place of overwhelming pain to God, saying:

“Plead my cause, O Lord, with them that strive with me: fight against them that fight against me. Take hold of shield and buckler, and stand up for mine help. Draw out also the spear, and stop the way against them that persecute me: say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. Let them be confounded and put to shame that seek after my soul: let them be turned back and brought to confusion that devise my hurt. Let them be as chaff before the wind: and let the angel of the Lord chase them. Let their way be dark and slippery: and let the angel of the Lord persecute them. For without cause have they hid for me their net in a pit, which without cause they have digged for my soul…

False witnesses did rise up; they laid to my charge things that I knew not. They rewarded me evil for good to the spoiling of my soul. But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom. I behaved myself as though he had been my friend or brother: I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for his mother. But in mine adversity they rejoiced, and gathered themselves together: yea, the abjects gathered themselves together against me, and I knew it not; they did tear me, and ceased not: With hypocritical mockers in feasts, they gnashed upon me with their teeth.

Lord, how long wilt thou look on? rescue my soul from their destructions, my darling from the lions. I will give thee thanks in the great congregation: I will praise thee among much people. Let not them that are mine enemies wrongfully rejoice over me: neither let them wink with the eye that hate me without a cause. For they speak not peace: but they devise deceitful matters against them that are quiet in the land. Yea, they opened their mouth wide against me, and said, Aha, aha, our eye hath seen it.

This thou hast seen, O Lord: keep not silence: O Lord, be not far from me. Stir up thyself, and awake to my judgment, even unto my cause, my God and my Lord. Judge me, O Lord my God, according to thy righteousness; and let them not rejoice over me. Let them not say in their hearts, Ah, so would we have it: let them not say, We have swallowed him up. Let them be ashamed and brought to confusion together that rejoice at mine hurt: let them be clothed with shame and dishonour that magnify themselves against me.” (Psalm 35:1-7 and 11-26)

In Psalm 31, when he was in a low place and experiencing trouble in his life, David again told God about people who had positioned themselves as his enemy and spoke wickedly against him. He stated:

“For I have heard the slander of many: fear was on every side: while they took counsel together against me, they devised to take away my life. But I trusted in thee, O Lord: I said, Thou art my God. My times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me. Make thy face to shine upon thy servant: save me for thy mercies’ sake. Let me not be ashamed, O Lord; for I have called upon thee: let the wicked be ashamed, and let them be silent in the grave. Let the lying lips be put to silence; which speak grievous things proudly and contemptuously against the righteous.”

The pain of the betrayal that David felt by those who he once trusted were for his welfare but in his time of suffering, turned against him, is evident in Psalm 55:1-14 and 20-21. From his dark place of suffering where he had been further put down by the malicious words of his enemies who were delighting themselves in his adverse circumstances, going about making mischief and sowing trouble with their lips, he prayed:

“Give ear to my prayer, O God; and hide not thyself from my supplication. Attend unto me, and hear me: I mourn in my complaint, and make a noise; Because of the voice of the enemy, because of the oppression of the wicked: for they cast iniquity upon me, and in wrath they hate me. My heart is sore pained within me: and the terrors of death are fallen upon me. Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath overwhelmed me. And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest. Lo, then would I wander far off, and remain in the wilderness. Selah. I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest.

Destroy, O Lord, and divide their tongues: for I have seen violence and strife in the city. Day and night they go about it upon the walls thereof: mischief also and sorrow are in the midst of it. Wickedness is in the midst thereof: deceit and guile depart not from her streets. For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company...He hath put forth his hands against such as be at peace with him: he hath broken his covenant.The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords.”

6. They will laugh at you, rejoice in your suffering and make your trouble their song and source of entertainment.

When you are going through what you are going through, many people will gather to ridicule you, mock you, celebrate the fact that you are suffering and derive entertainment from your humiliating hardships. They will talk jokingly about you, laugh at you and derive great satisfaction, joy and delight, that you are suffering. You will become their song. You will be the most favorite topic on their lips. Whether through envy or deap-seated resentment and bitterness against you, you will find that in your valley season, people are elated to know that you are going through adversities and hardships. They don’t keep this joy to themselves but they join with others to jeer at you and your situation. You are a laughing stock in their eyes and they couldn’t be happier.

Job’s friends genuinely cared about him and did not intentionally mock at him or derive any satisfaction from his pain but there were other people who did. This is what many people do when they perceive that you are down, stuck or get wind of some information that you are going through some kind of difficulty. Sometimes surprisingly, among the list of jesters, you will find some family members, some church folk and some people you mistakenly believed were true friends. Your adversity therefore opens up you eyes to how people really feel about you.

In Job 17:6, Job stated of God that “He hath made me also a byword of the people; and aforetime I was as a tabret.” In Job 30:9, he further stated of people who couldn’t stop laughing at his situation it seemed, “And now am I their song, yea, I am their byword.”

In Isaiah 54:11-17 though, God told his people comfortingly through his prophet when they were apparently being considered by others as a useless laughing stock:

“O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy foundations with sapphires. And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones. And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children. In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee. Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not by me: whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake…No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.”

Conclusion

As someone that has gone through much suffering in life thus far and a great deal of upheavals and storms, I can identify to some extent with what Job went through, although his sufferings were far worse than mine and unlike me, none of what he went through could be attributed to any wrongdoing on his part.

I know first hand how people tend to react for the most part when you are dealing with prolonged adversity BECAUSE I HAVE EXPERIENCED IT! Every one of the six (6) points raised about, I WENT THROUGH IT! I write therefore, not just from God-given wisdom derived from his Word but from what I myself have been through and how I have been treated, even by family and fellow professing believers.

Thankfully though because he is faithful, the same God that keeps his children bewilderingly stuck in painful situations at times, is the same God that shows up and shows off when he is ready, to release them from their captivity. When he is good and ready to open the door to the next stage and chapter in their lives, NO MAN can shut it. When God was ready, after he had tested and tried Job and he had come forth as gold, he opened the door WIDE and blessed him, even more than he had before his season of suffering.

The Bible states that “the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before…So the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning.” (Job 42:10 and 12)

(Written on 26^th December, 2025 and added to thereafter)

Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be interesting, informative, beneficial or edifying, you may also be interested in the following:

Note 68 – ‘What You’re Going Through Is Nothing New’
Note 67 – ‘No Man Cared For My Soul’

Under the SINGLE Daughters page:

Note 42 – ‘When That Door Wouldn’t Budge’
Note 56 – ‘Making Sense Of The Awful Stillness – The Process Of Metamorphosis’
Note 171 – ‘If That Tree Could Talk‘
Note 186 – ‘The Pain I Felt In My Series Of Pit Experiences’
Note 197 – ‘Left For Dead… Then Resurrected’
Note 199 – ‘God Comforted Me!‘
Note 211 – ‘Dear Christian, Ever Felt Like You Had No One?‘
Note 308 – ‘Fairweather People’