47. A SEA OF TROUBLE
Isaiah 59:19 states, “When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him.” This verse is clearly speaking about a specific enemy, which is the devil. Of a truth, he is behind many of the problems we enounter today, even as he has been behind many of the problems that people have faced in the past, even as early as in the Bible days.
However, the devil is just one of our enemies. We must also contend with the world and our own wicked and rebellious flesh, which wants its own way and not the Lord’s. Yet, irrespective of the source of our troubles and sometimes, it can be adverse circumstances, we must tell ourselves: When the problems come like a flood, we must let our faith kick in.
I know that this is easier said than done. When faced with a torrent of trouble, it is easy to grow afraid, to feel disheartened and dejected.
I have certainly had my fill of problems, as I have spoken about repeatedly on this forum.
To cite some of them, I have been feeling unwell for some time now but over the past few days, it has intensified. Tired of visiting doctors who take my money but can’t seem to pinpoint what’s wrong and having recently been sent to do at least ten tests which are going to cost me a great deal of money that I would have preferred not to be spending at this time, understandably, I am exhausted. Life can be like that. It can feel exhausting sometimes.
Then today, as I considered my seemingly failing health, how weak I felt, my unemployment for close to three long years despite efforts to secure work, the ridicule, badmouthing, criticism, malicious attacks and condemnation I suffered as a result of it, from people who I would have expected to be there for me and to encourage and pray for me, when I considered my business which was practically non-existent as people were not seeking the services no matter how much I spent on advertising, my quickly depleting funds, my seemingly never-ending singleness, the loneliness I have felt for so many years and a whole host of other problems, the temptation to worry, feel overwhelmed and to just throw in the towel, came.
Admittedly, I was tired of fighting and tired of feeling like losing. I felt like a reject and a recluse in life. There were doors that refused to open for so many years and I have just been feeling stuck and in a sterile place for so long.
Yet, the Word of God says that I am more than a conqueror and the Word of God does not lie. I may not feel like it at the moment and I have no idea what the test results will reveal or where I go from hear but I am determined to take my issue to the foot of the cross. I therefore prayed. I have prayed about things for many years and many of those things seem to remain unchanged or to grow worse but still, God does not lie and I know he loves persistence, so with my tired self, I prayed again.
By the grace of almighty God, shortly after, I also said to the Lord and decided in my spirit:
“I choose not to worry because you ARE ABLE to remove the problems, you ARE ABLE to give me strength through the problems and you ARE ABLE to work out your purposes through the problems.”
Of this I was convinced and it brought sweet assurance and comfort to my soul, despite all the mayhem currently occuring around me.
As Owald Chambers once said and I have had cause to experience this on many occasions, “The great thing about faith in God is that it keeps a man undisturbed in the midst of disturbance.”
Don’t I know it! I have been disturbed with some turbulences in my life so far, that not even all that I went through, has been captured on these pages. Some is in a book that I started writing several years ago and by the grace of God, intend to one day resume and finish.
And so my resolve in this latest trouble which I did not welcome was, “Have thine own way, Lord.” He had allowed the trouble, he had allowed the continued singleness, he had allowed the failing business and problems with my health. He had allowed my funds to start to quickly deplete and he had seen it fit to allow the doors to employment to remain shut, despite the hundreds of applications I sent out over the years and my endless prayers, fasting and crying over my situation.
The truth was, like the lady in the Bible with the issue of blood and like the lame man who was lying helplessly at the gate of the temple, born with a condition that rendered him helpless, I too feel helpless in my own strength. I too need healing and help. I need healing for a plethora of issues and I need help to open doors in my life that have stubbornly remained padlocked, no matter what I do, how hard I try or how many times I have prayed about it and for many years. Ironically, when I visited the latest doctor two days ago and gave him my long list of medical ailments, one of which was occuring since 2010 and for which, to date, no doctor has been able to figure out what was the cause or to recommend the correct test to pinpoint the reason for the issue, the doctor said a bit surprised, “2010? That’s twelve years.”
It only now dawned on me in writing this Article, that the lady in the Bible with her issue of blood also suffered from a mysterious condition which seemingly baffled doctors, for twelve long years.
The truth of the matter is that real help and healing come only from the Lord. Some people may be well-meaning but there are some problems that are so deep, so intricate, so complex, that they defy human solutions and those are the kind of problems that I face. I’m facing physical problems, emotional problems, financial problems, spiritual problems and the list goes on…
Only Jesus can help and heal me and I cannot force his hand or get him to do what I want or in my timing. For, I am not in control. He is.
Yet I know that as dismal as everything around me looks right now, as hopeless, tired and sad as I feel sometimes when the troubles just keep coming and show no sign of abating, HE IS ABLE and this is enough to get me through today and tomorrow, should the good Lord choose to grant it.
- “…for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.” (2 Timothy 1:12).
(Written on 02nd November, 2022)
Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be interesting, informative, beneficial or edifying, you may also be interested in reading the following under the Single Daughters page:
- Note 14 – ‘Feeling Depressed? Realign Your Focus!’
- Note 42 – ‘When That Door Wouldn’t Budge’
- Note 50 – ‘Making Sense Of The Awful Stillness – The Process Of Metamorphosis’
- Note 70 – ‘Has He Forgotten Me?’
- Note 31 – ‘God Loves Persistence – Fight On!’
- Note 112 – ‘Lessons I Learned From The Lazarus Story’
- Note 196 – ‘A Hopeless End Or An Endless Hope?’
- Note 239 – ‘Jesus – Who Is He?’
- Note 250 – ‘The Blood Of Jesus Gives Spiritual Life’
- Note 278 – ‘His Grace Is Sufficient And His Blood Is Enough’
- Note 298 – ‘Arm Yourself: Suffering Is Part of The Christian’s Story’
- Note 305 – ‘The Lady With The Issue Of Blood’
- Note 314 – ‘Why I Refuse To Give Up’
Also, under the ‘Broken Daughters’ page:
- Note 44 – ‘Walking And Leaping And Praising God’