320. WHY DOES SHE HATE ME SO?

(The Faith Forum Series – Batch 11)

Having been attacked verbally again for what seemed like the umpteenth time by a co-worker that I have had the misfortune of having to be around for close to three (3) years, I was once again quite upset because the attack was unprovoked, yet vicious. I had been trying my best to keep the peace, to dismiss how this lady has treated me time and time again and to be cordial and respectful to her. Yet, every time that I thought that by-gones were truly by-gones, that she had thought on her ways and had decided to amend her behaviour, she would be civil on some days but then choose to suddenly lash out at me, whether over the phone or in person and in a petty, malicious way.

Admittedly, when she did this again yesterday, I wasn’t rude but I did not handle the situation as I ought to have, as a Christian. I was in shock at the petty issue that she was choosing to make a mountain of and of how condescendingly and disdainfully she spoke to me. This was especially because (1) I had been careful to exercise patience with her and to ensure that I was always mannerly and respectful to her, (2) the last time I checked, I was a human being like her and also worthy of basic human dignity and respect, (3) she was not in a position of authority over me, (4) I was not required to report to her, (5) I was way more academically qualified than her and had probably served in more senior positions than she could ever dream of and (6) I had gone out of my way to do a duty requested by the lady at the helm of the entire workplace but which was really hers to do and was totally unrelated to my Job Description. When she started with her rude, scornful and disrespectful talk on the phone yesterday therefore, I could not believer how ungrateful she was being, given that the task I had done pertained to her duties, not mine. After she said what she said, I was so angry, that I made a quick retort and the phone call ended.

Coincidentally, yesterday, about an hour before the co-worker was rude to me, the lady at the very top of the organization where I worked (the Administrator), summoned me to her office which was on another floor and informed me that she was going on vacation in a week’s time. There was no telling where she would be positioned when she returned, as she is a civil servant and they are often placed rotationally in different Divisions. She commended me on my work, that it was thorough and that it had been refreshing working with me. I was grateful that she had seen how hard a worker I was (as I have always been) and chosen to commend me for it. The previous Administrator had also seen my industriousness and even after she had left on vacation and been reassigned to another Division, she continued on one occasion, to seek my counsel and help on an issue that had arisen, where she had been repositioned.

Shortly after my conversation with the present Administrator in her office yesterday, I had cause to liaise with the troublesome co-worker (who I would refer to as Ms. T for now). Ms. T works in the same office space as the Administrator and was aware that the Administrator had called for me and met with me. As matter of fact, while conversing with the Administrator in her office for quite some time, Ms. T had opened the door about another matter, indicating to the Administrator that she had not been aware that I was still there.

Some time after the meeting had ended and I had left though, I had cause to contact Ms. T on the task that the Administrator had asked me about a week ago to assist on. When I called, she was not able to take the call and so I left a message for her with another one of her staff members, who, thankfully, has always been courteous and respectful to me. Shortly after, Ms. T called in an abrupt and rude manner, choosing to address me as if I was a dog. For example, instead of saying when I answered that this was Ms. T, that the other staff member had informed her that I had called and to seek more clarity on the issue that I had explained, she simply began by saying in a rude, dismissive, abrupt and cold tone, without even introducing herself, something to the effect of, “What is the issue?” She then continued on in our interaction, which was brief, to be nasty and condescending to me on the phone. Needless to say, the conversation ended soon after.

I acknowledged to the Lord that I was wrong to give a retaliatory response to her in that moment, which I did. Then, this morning, in addition to the prayer that I had uttered yesterday to the Lord about the issue, I poured out my heart to him concerning this individual, who has lashed out viciously at me from the time I started working at that Division, to date. In tears, I asked him to handle the situation because I was truly weary of this lady and her evil ways.

A few hours later, still thinking on what had transpired, I wrote this (with a few additions made after uploading it to this Website):

NOTE TO SELF (AND TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN):

You need to stop getting surprised and being shocked at some people’s rudeness. No matter what you do or how much you want peace, there are some people who will love war. There are some people who will be vicious, attack you with malicious words and actions for no apparent reason. You have done them nothing, you have been nothing but polite, mannerly and respectful, yet they outstretch their claws at you and try to do their best to put you down, to insult you and to make you hurt. They delight in making you feel bad, speak condescendingly to you, consistently send the message that you are nothing but scum and that they will never show you the basic respect that is to be afforded to every human being.

The bitterness of their vitriol shocks you every time. You having done nothing to deserve such treatment! You are often left puzzled: Why does this person hate me so much? Why is it that she speaks civilly to other people but when it comes to me, she singles me out for wicked words and evil treatment?

You may never get answers to these questions. Often times though, children of the heavenly King and believers in the resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ are singled out for attack, even when it seems irrational because the people who attack them are controlled by satan. He instructs them to do so and as his servants, they obey. They themselves may not even know why they hate you so much. They just know that they do. You may have never even shared with them that you are a Christian but sometimes because the devil is operating in them and through them, they still know it or even if they don’t, there is something about you and your very existence that makes them sick to the core. They just can’t stand you, even if they don’t know why.

Other times, such people are secretly envious of you. You do what you do too well, you look too put together and your excellent spirit as given by God, they find blinding to their eyes. Jealousy is often at the root of people’s malicious attacks of you, as it was with Joseph and Daniel in the Old Testament and Jesus, in the New Testament.

Even when you are not aiming to compete, just aspiring to do your very best and to be yourself, people will harbour envy, resentment and ill-will against you. This is life. As a child of God, you are earmarked for attack, even from those you have been kind to. There is nothing that you can do about it. Certainly, you can’t sit in a corner and be motionless so as to not get their jealous hearts upset. You are called to shine and to radiate God’s glory and at times, even when you are not aware of it, you are emitting a shine which they just cannot stand. They therefore decide to be nasty to you, to try to suppress you and to speak harshly to you.

Pray for such people. Commit them into the hands of almighty God and let Him handle it. The wickedness of those who position themselves as your enemies is not greater than the power of almighty God. He sees and he knows. Many of them feel that they have gotten away with their wicked jabs and attacks. Nobody knows but God does. He has seen what they have been doing and once you ask him for his help, trust that he will deal with the situation.

The Bible tells you in Psalm 37:1 not to fret yourself because of evil doers for a reason. It is inevitable that as God’s child and regal daughter, people will feel threatened, even if they don’t understand why and decide to attack you wherever and whenever they can. While this is beyond your control, your response is not.

Don’t attack back therefore, no matter how tempted you feel by your flesh and in your wounded ego and pride, to do it. Remember, if you walk in the spirit, you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Galatians 5:16).

Don’t try to get them to see reason or to change their minds and like you. There is nothing that you can do to change your identity in Christ Jesus and in most cases, if not all, this is what the devil that is using them, considers to be the problem.

Say not a word but take your complaint to God. Pour out your heart to him, even as Hannah did when Peninnah kept attacking her for years with wicked words. Yes you feel bruised, hurt and it is not nice to be spoken to as if you are a dog and worthless. Yet, as Hannah did after she had fervently prayed to God about her issue, leave the situation and that person in God’s hands to handle. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God (Hebrews 10:31) and unless that person repents, he or she will eventually find this out.

To Ms. T and all of my other haters, may the good Lord have mercy on you but teach you not to mess with his beloved children.

(Written on 27^th August, 2025, added to thereafter)

Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be interesting, informative, beneficial or edifying, you may also be interested in reading the following:

Note 256 – ‘When You’re A Target Of Waging Warfare’
Note 310 – ‘Got Haters? Fret Not Thyself’

Also, under the ‘VIRTUOUS Daughters’ page:

Note 14 – ‘People Hate Your Shine – What Should You Do?’

Also, under the ‘SINGLE Daughters’ page:

Note 36 – ‘Stressful Attacks – How David, Hannah And Jehoshaphat Handled It’
Note 39 – ‘Why The Enemy’s Attack Is My Cue To Sing’
Note 57 – ‘Comparison and Competition’
Note 103 – ‘I Will Trust God With My Enemies’
Note 164 – ‘Seven (7) Mindsets That Will Keep You Stuck In The Land Of Sterility’
Note 187 – ‘Could It Be That You Don’t Like Her Because…’
Note 224 – ‘Symptoms Of A Person Outside The Favour Of God’
Note 256 – ‘How Envy And Jealousy Blind’