222. FRUSTRATION IN HIS SILENCE

(The Faith Forum Series – Batch 5)

As a single woman who has been single for many years but have always desired to be married and to have a family of my own, I know first-hand how it feels to be hoping for something year in and year out and praying to God about it, asking him desperately for his help, yet only seemingly being met with silence in return.

Proverbs 13:12 is right. “Hope deferred maketh the heart sick…” In short, when going through what you’re going through but not being delivered from it (although you’ve prayed about it for quite some time and are still praying about it), this can make you feel frustrated.

Wanting a spouse, a baby, a stable career, a job, a promotion, finances, a place to call your own or to be healed from some kind of sickness or for a relationship to mend or some other solution to a problem and knowing for SURE that God can help you, that he can change your season, that he has done similar feats for people in the past (some of whom were in the same boat as yourself unto he brought them out) and that he can do it again but yet, seemingly without explanation, he does not, can leave you feeling confused, weary and frustrated. The days turn to weeks, the weeks to months and even years but seemingly, although you’ve prayed and prayed and poured out your petition, he remains silent and you remain in your bed of problems.

To make matters worse, while in your problems which only God can deliver you from and which you know for a surety that he can and at any moment, people mock you, ridicule your situation and make all manner of comments, treating you as if your God is dead. Yet he is not and you knowing that he is not and that he remains all powerful, can at times lead to frustration, when you keep praying, even fasting over your problems and yet, they persist. For, it feels like God is ignoring you or turning a blind eye on your request or simply refusing to do what you’ve been imploring him to do, time and time again, causing you to feel perpetually stuck in your predicament or the season that you want so badly to change.

DAVID AND GOD’S SILENCE

In Psalm 22:1-15,19-23, David experienced the feeling of frustration. For, what he was going through was awful and he had been crying out to God to help him but all he got was silence. Overwhelmed by his problems and battle-weary because they seemed unending, David stated:

“My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring? O my God, I cry in the day time, but thou hearest not; and in the night season, and am not silent.

But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel. Our fathers trusted in thee: they trusted, and thou didst deliver them. They cried unto thee, and were delivered: they trusted in thee, and were not confounded. But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people. All they that see me laugh me to scorn: they shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying, He trusted on the Lord that he would deliver him: let him deliver him, seeing he delighted in him. But thou art he that took me out of the womb: thou didst make me hope when I was upon my mother’s breasts. I was cast upon thee from the womb: thou art my God from my mother’s belly. Be not far from me; for trouble is near; for there is none to help.

Many bulls have compassed me: strong bulls of Bashan have beset me round. They gaped upon me with their mouths, as a ravening and a roaring lion. I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint: my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels. My strength is dried up like a potsherd; and my tongue cleaveth to my jaws; and thou hast brought me into the dust of death…But be not thou far from me, O Lord: O my strength, haste thee to help me. Deliver my soul from the sword; my darling from the power of the dog. Save me from the lion’s mouth: for thou hast heard me from the horns of the unicorns…”

Despite the painful silence, David concluded though (because he knew something of God’s character), that he would still have a good attitude. He would still praise God as he was still worthy of praise, even in those moments when he chose to be silent and not to intervene in his problems. He knew and understood that, even when God chose not to solve the problems of his children immediately or at all and when he seemed to be silent to their many prayers, that he had still heard them and those prayers were not wasted. Each prayer still counted for something in his sight.

Despite what David was going through and that it was frustrating that God seemed to be silent in his trouble, he nonetheless stated in verses 22-24:

“I will declare thy name unto my brethren: in the midst of the congregation will I praise thee. Ye that fear the Lord, praise him; all ye the seed of Jacob, glorify him; and fear him, all ye the seed of Israel. For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard.

At another point, in Psalm 56:8, David, mindful that even his tears which he shed in his situation, counted for something to God, said to God, “Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?”

GIDEON AND GOD’S SILENCE

In Judges 6, Gideon too was confused and apparently frustrated at God’s continued silence, when the Israelites were suffering oppression from their enemies.

Admittedly, the Israelites had brought their situation upon themselves due to their disobedience to God but when the problems intensified and they were at their wit’s end, they turned to the Lord in prayer, for deliverance.

Verses 1 – 6 reads:

“And the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord: and the Lord delivered them into the hand of Midian seven years. And the hand of Midian prevailed against Israel: and because of the Midianites the children of Israel made them the dens which are in the mountains, and caves, and strong holds. And so it was, when Israel had sown, that the Midianites came up, and the Amalekites, and the children of the east, even they came up against them; And they encamped against them, and destroyed the increase of the earth, till thou come unto Gaza, and left no sustenance for Israel, neither sheep, nor ox, nor ass. For they came up with their cattle and their tents, and they came as grasshoppers for multitude; for both they and their camels were without number: and they entered into the land to destroy it. And Israel was greatly impoverished because of the Midianites; and the children of Israel cried unto the Lord.”

In response to their cries, the Lord sent a Prophet to let them know why they were being oppressed and that it was due to their own disobedience. Verse 7-10 states:

“And it came to pass, when the children of Israel cried unto the Lord because of the Midianites, That the Lord sent a prophet unto the children of Israel, which said unto them, Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, I brought you up from Egypt, and brought you forth out of the house of bondage; And I delivered you out of the hand of the Egyptians, and out of the hand of all that oppressed you, and drave them out from before you, and gave you their land; And I said unto you, I am the Lord your God; fear not the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but ye have not obeyed my voice.”

The Israelites therefore knew what had caused them to be going through what they were going through and that they only had themselves to blame. However, Gideon, an Israelite, who had heard of the great things that God had done for the Israelites in the past and how he had magnificently delivered them from their enemies, could not understand why God had seemingly chosen to not deliver them in this instance. Frustrated with the burden of the oppression and maybe how long it was continuing, he came to the conclusion that the God that he had heard so much about from his ancestors, was not with them and had forsaken them.

Yet, in verse 11-13, after God had informed the Israelites of the reason for their oppression, it reads:

“And there came an angel of the Lord, and sat under an oak which was in Ophrah, that pertained unto Joash the Abiezrite: and his son Gideon threshed wheat by the winepress, to hide it from the Midianites. And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him, and said unto him, THE LORD IS WITH THEE, thou mighty man of valour.

And Gideon said unto him, Oh my Lord, IF THE LORD BE WITH US, WHY THEN IS ALL THIS BEFALLEN US? and where be all his miracles which our fathers told us of, saying, Did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt? but now the Lord hath forsaken us, and delivered us into the hands of the Midianites.”

Gideon could not conceive how the Lord could be with him and by extension, the Israelites, when they were suffering so. He could not understand how God could be with him and yet he feel so helpless, so weak, so overwhelmed by all that he was enduring and by extension, the people of Israel.

Yet, despite how things ‘looked’, how he ‘felt’ and how sure he was that the Israelites, including himself were doomed (as God had not delivered them as he had done of old, despite their cries to him), the Word of God states:

“And the Lord looked upon him, and said, Go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the hand of the Midianites: have not I sent thee?

And he said unto him, Oh my Lord, wherewith shall I save Israel? behold, my family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.

And the Lord said unto him, Surely I will be with thee, and thou shalt smite the Midianites as one man.”

Despite how things looked therefore, this conversation revealed that God was aware of the oppression the Israelites were enduring, that he had not forsaken them (although he had not delivered them from it), that he had heard their cries, that he still cared, despite their disobedience and that he was with Gideon, although Gideon felt alone and deserted. Further, he was promising Gideon that he would be with him, that he had a purpose or mission for him and that he would use Gideon to bring deliverance to the Israelites.

Understandably, all this seemed incredulous to Gideon, as the reality of the situation seemed so far from what God was conveying to him. There he was feeling weak, tired, practically hopeless and at the end of his rope, sure that God must have wanted nothing to do with him and the Israelites anymore and had just left them to be destroyed by their enemies, when, here was the Lord telling him that he was with him, that he had a plan that involved him and intended to use him, to bring deliverance to the Israelites!

As far-fetched as it seemed in that moment though, since God never lies, that is exactly what Gideon, empowered by the Lord, went on to do. He learned therefore that God can be with us even in dire suffering, when it looks like he isn’t there. He learned that even in our weakness and irrespective of who we are or our background, God can intervene to empower us mightily at any moment or to draw out of us what he has placed inside of us, even when we did not know that he had done so. He also learned that God can use us to do great exploits and to change around any situation, even the seemingly dismal, so as to reconfigure the landscape from one of defeat and suffering to victory and freedom.

JOB AND GOD’S SILENCE

In Job 23:1-15, Job also experienced the silence of God in his suffering, which he found to be frustrating. For him, he wanted simply to understand why God had allowed him to go through all that he was going through and if he had gone wrong somewhere, for him to know it so that he could repent but despite his pleas, God had chosen to be silent.

Perplexed, Job poured out his complaint, even as his friends accused him of having sinned against God.

In Job 29, he recounted the times when he seemed to have had God’s favour on his life and then later contrasted that with the extent of the sufferings he was going through. In verses 2-25, he stated:

“Oh that I were as in months past, as in the days when God preserved me; When his candle shined upon my head, and when by his light I walked through darkness; As I was in the days of my youth, when the secret of God was upon my tabernacle; When the Almighty was yet with me, when my children were about me; When I washed my steps with butter, and the rock poured me out rivers of oil; When I went out to the gate through the city, when I prepared my seat in the street!

The young men saw me, and hid themselves: and the aged arose, and stood up. The princes refrained talking, and laid their hand on their mouth. The nobles held their peace, and their tongue cleaved to the roof of their mouth. When the ear heard me, then it blessed me; and when the eye saw me, it gave witness to me: Because I delivered the poor that cried, and the fatherless, and him that had none to help him. The blessing of him that was ready to perish came upon me: and I caused the widow’s heart to sing for joy. I put on righteousness, and it clothed me: my judgment was as a robe and a diadem. I was eyes to the blind, and feet was I to the lame. I was a father to the poor: and the cause which I knew not I searched out. And I brake the jaws of the wicked, and plucked the spoil out of his teeth.

Then I said, I shall die in my nest, and I shall multiply my days as the sand. My root was spread out by the waters, and the dew lay all night upon my branch. My glory was fresh in me, and my bow was renewed in my hand. Unto me men gave ear, and waited, and kept silence at my counsel. After my words they spake not again; and my speech dropped upon them. And they waited for me as for the rain; and they opened their mouth wide as for the latter rain. If I laughed on them, they believed it not; and the light of my countenance they cast not down. I chose out their way, and sat chief, and dwelt as a king in the army, as one that comforteth the mourners.”

Yet, in chapter 30:1 and 8-31, Job, mourning his change in circumstances and how he went from being highly esteemed and respected by the community to ridiculed, scorned, harassed by people and treated like scum because of all he was going through (even as God continued to be silent and continued to allow the affliction to persist, despite the fact that he had cried to him for deliverance from his pain and suffering), stated:

“But now they that are younger than I have me in derision, whose fathers I would have disdained to have set with the dogs of my flock…They were children of fools, yea, children of base men: they were viler than the earth. And now am I their song, yea, I am their byword. They abhor me, they flee far from me, and spare not to spit in my face. Because he hath loosed my cord, and afflicted me, they have also let loose the bridle before me.

Upon my right hand rise the youth; they push away my feet, and they raise up against me the ways of their destruction. They mar my path, they set forward my calamity, they have no helper. They came upon me as a wide breaking in of waters: in the desolation they rolled themselves upon me. Terrors are turned upon me: they pursue my soul as the wind: and my welfare passeth away as a cloud. And now my soul is poured out upon me; the days of affliction have taken hold upon me. My bones are pierced in me in the night season: and my sinews take no rest. By the great force of my disease is my garment changed: it bindeth me about as the collar of my coat. He hath cast me into the mire, and I am become like dust and ashes.

I CRY UNTO THEE, AND THOU DOST NOT HEAR ME: I stand up, and thou regardest me not. Thou art become cruel to me: with thy strong hand thou opposest thyself against me. Thou liftest me up to the wind; thou causest me to ride upon it, and dissolvest my substance.

For I know that thou wilt bring me to death, and to the house appointed for all living. Howbeit he will not stretch out his hand to the grave, though they cry in his destruction. Did not I weep for him that was in trouble? was not my soul grieved for the poor? When I looked for good, then evil came unto me: and when I waited for light, there came darkness. My bowels boiled, and rested not: the days of affliction prevented me. I went mourning without the sun: I stood up, and I cried in the congregation. I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. My skin is black upon me, and my bones are burned with heat. My harp also is turned to mourning, and my organ into the voice of them that weep.”

JOSEPH AND GOD’S SILENCE

Joseph in the Old Testament also experienced years and years of God’s silence. One moment he was the devoted son of his father Jacob and the next, without warning, he found himself plunged into a pit by his brothers, then sold to an Ishmaelite going to the far away land of Egypt.

Psalm 105:18 states that Joseph’s feet were hurt with fetters and that he was laid in iron. As if this was not bad enough, when he arrived in Egypt, he was sold as a slave to Potiphar, although he was not born a bondman. While in Potiphar’s house and trying to still do his best despite the pain of what his brothers had done and him being separated from his father, whom he loved dearly, Potiphar’s wife made repeated sexual advances at him and when he was resolute in his decision to not commit adultery with her, she falsely accused him before her husband, of trying to rape her. Joseph then found himself plunged into prison, where he spent many years.

Throughout all this, it seemed that God was silent. He did not for example, let Joseph know of any plan that he had devised to release him from his captivity and to take him out of Egypt and back home to his father. Indeed, God did not even let Jacob, his father know, that Joseph was alive and therefore, Jacob believed the lying report of his other sons who were responsible for Joseph having been sold into Egypt.

Genesis 37:34-35 states that, upon receiving the news from his sons that Joseph had been killed by a beast, that:

“…Jacob rent his clothes, and put sackcloth upon his loins, and mourned for his son many days.And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted; and he said, For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him.”

Yet, despite how excruciating the news must have been for Jacob because Joseph was the favorite of his twelve sons, God in his sovereignty, allowed him to mourn, remaining silent on the fact that Joseph was still alive.

Perhaps if Jacob had known he would have pursued after Joseph and sought to have him released in Egypt. I do not know. Whatever the reason, God chose to remain silent as Jacob grieved and although Joseph may have been confused as to why God had caused him to be separated from his home and father, taken into the far off land of Egypt, falsely accused and thrust into prison and for years and years, it appears that God chose to remain silent on these issues. Joseph therefore remained in the dark as to God’s agenda but he never lost his faith in him.

In fact, despite all the hardships he endured, early on when he arrived in Egypt, the Word of God states that God was with him. In fact, one of the ways that God made his presence with him known was by causing everything he did in Potiphar’s house to prosper, to the point where he, Potiphar, saw that the Lord was with him.

The Word of God states in Genesis 39:2-3:

^“And the Lord was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian.And his master saw that the Lord was with him, and that the Lord made all that he did to prosper in his hand.”

God therefore chose to be silent by not providing Joseph with the reason for all his sufferings or what his plan for him was (until years later when he caused Pharaoh to have a dream that would result in him bringing Joseph out of prison and promoting him) but despite the fact that Joseph went through a great deal of pain and hardships and that not knowing why must have made it all the more difficult to bear, God was with him and Joseph did the best he could wherever he was called to work, to the point where he was put in charge of both Potiphar’s house when he was there and over the prisoners when he was in prison.

In particular, when Joseph was sent to prison, Genesis 39:21-23 states again, that God was with him. He did not understand why his life was being turned upside down and going from bad to worse, must have been hurting and saddened by these events but despite how bad things looked and that he was suffering, God was with him. The verses state:

“But the Lord was with Joseph, and shewed him mercy, and gave him favour in the sight of the keeper of the prison.And the keeper of the prison committed to Joseph’s hand all the prisoners that were in the prison; and whatsoever they did there, he was the doer of it.The keeper of the prison looked not to any thing that was under his hand; because the Lord was with him, and that which he did, the Lord made it to prosper.”

God did not deliver Joseph from his troubles therefore (at least until several years later) and remained silent as to what his plan for his life entailed but despite all of that, he was still with Joseph and helped him to persevere with excellence right in the midst of his troubles.

LESSONS FOR US TODAY

When it comes to us going through whatever we may be going through and God seemingly choosing to be silent without granting us the deliverance that we seek, the accounts given of David, Gideon and the Israelites, Job and Joseph, reminds us of certain key lessons as follows:

1. God is sovereign. As God, he does as he pleases and he is entitled to do so.

2. God cannot be rushed. If he has purposed according to the counsel of his own will, that we will go through something and for a certain length of time, even indefinitely, we must go through it. No amount of prayers will fast-forward it or make us avoid it or be delivered from it. For, God has purposed that we must go through it.

3. Although God can deliver, sometimes he chooses to be silent and to leave us in our situation as we endure intense suffering and affliction, even after we have prayed repeatedly and even fasted much about our issue. He chooses to do this sometimes due to our own disobedience (like with the Israelites) but sometimes, even when we have been obedient (like with Job and Joseph).

4. God does not owe us an explanation for why he chooses to do what he does. Sometimes he may let us know, as he did with the Israelites through the Prophet or sometimes he lets us know when he eventually decides to deliver us, as happened with Joseph, who suffered for many years in Egypt before God enabled him to understand, that he had sent him to preserve his family from the famine. Sometimes though, he never lets us know why he allowed us to suffer so, at least not in this lifetime and he is perfectly entitled to withhold such information from us, as God.

5. As Christians, Jesus having promised to never leave us or forsake us, even if we are in a dire situation that seems never ending and we’ve been praying for weeks, months and even years for a change but God has chosen not to do it (at least not yet) and he seems silent and we feel overwhelmed and weak, he has not forsaken us but is with us still. He is also able to renew our strength as an eagle and to still have us to do great exploits that brings glory to him, as he did with Gideon.

6. It is important, in our suffering, to maintain a good attitude and to keep on praising and serving God, despite the fact that we may feel frustrated that he is not answering our prayer with the deliverance we seek or delaying his hand in doing so and even when we wish we could understand why he has not granted us the petition we so desperately cried out to him repeatedly for and he does not provide any explanation to us as to why he is keeping us stuck in our problem.

David decided to still praise God when he was silent in his suffering, although he did not understand why and he was tired and Job refused to take his wife’s advice and curse him, although he too had not a clue as to why God had allowed him to suffer so, seemingly without reprieve. Despite all that he endured which went on for quite some time, to the point where he realized that God had approved of it, Job 1:22 states that, “In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.”

Joseph also went through an ordeal that lasted for many years, separated from his father (who he did not know if he would ever see alive again), made into a slave, harassed with sexual advances by his Master’s wife, lied on, wrongfully sent to prison where he spent many years and yet, he maintained a good attitude, still worked wherever he was with excellence and the Bible tells us that, despite all he was going through and the fact that he did not understand why (which must have made his suffering all the more painful) God was with him.

IN CLOSING

Interestingly, although God is not obligated to deliver us from our problems (and sometimes, like with John the Baptist, Stephen and James the brother of John, he doesn’t), despite a period of what seemed like lengthy and frustrating silence, it is both remarkable and instructive to note that God eventually came through for David, the Israelites, Job and for Joseph, delivering them from all their troubles, changing their season and bringing them out of oppression and affliction.

In the face of our problems (whatever they may be), if we maintain a good attitude, continue to give God the praise that he is due and still be about his business with excellence, despite what seems like his prolonged silence to date, whose to say that he wouldn’t do the same for you or for me? When all seems lost and God seems silent, whose to say that he wouldn’t still turn the tide and grant us our petitions?

(Written on 6th and 7th March, 2022)

Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be interesting, informative, beneficial or edifying, you may also be interested in reading the following under the ‘SINGLE Daughters’ Page:

Note 14 – ‘Feeling Depressed? Realign Your Focus!’
Note 42 – ‘When That Door Wouldn’t Budge’
Note 50 – ‘Making Sense Of The Awful Stillness – The Process Of Metamorphosis’
Note 70 – ‘Has He Forgotten Me?’
Note 75 – ‘The Danger Of Impatience – He’s Taking Too Long’
Note 79 – ‘The Woman Who Wanted A Baby – Key Points From Hannah’s Story’
Note 120 – ‘Tired of the Storm, Sterility, Stagnancy and Silence? Create a Spiritual Safe House’
Note 135 – ‘Are You At A Low Point In Life And Feeling Depressed Or Distressed?’
Note 160 – ‘When Serving God Doesn’t Seem To Make Sense’
Note 164 – ‘Seven (7) Mindsets That Will Keep You Stuck In The Land Of Sterility’
Note 215 – ‘Our Difficulty Is God’s Opportunity’
Note 222 – ‘Suffering? Bad Attitudes That Will Only Make It Worse‘
Note 224 – ‘Symptoms Of A Person Outside The Favour Of God’
Note 279 – ‘Do You Feel Disappointed By God?’
Note 298 – ‘Arm Yourself: Suffering Is Part of The Christian’s Story’
Note 305 – ‘The Lady With The Issue Of Blood’
Note 308 – ‘Fair Weather People’