215. RELATIONSHIP ADVICE WITHOUT THE WORD OF GOD?

(The Information & Edification Series – Batch 4)

It is no secret that many relationships, including marriages are having difficulties today. People who are in relationships or hoping to one day enter one, therefore wish to avoid the pitfalls and instead, hope to have a mutually fulfilling, satisfying and sustainable love relationship. As a result, people all over the globe (including those who attend Church) are today searching for answers to their problems. Some want the antidote to fix, heal or strengthen their marriages, while others want the formula to end up in a satisfying relationship that lasts.

With this demand, has emerged a plethora of people all claiming to be experts on relationships and to have answers to all of people’s problems or questions.

In fact, recently, I came across the Facebook Page of an individual I know, who is into motivational speaking and counseling and realized that he had positioned himself, among other things, as a relationship guru. His following was vast and whenever he posted his so-called ‘advice’, people lapped it up like hungry dogs. Some even thanked him in the comments section, for providing what they called ‘practical’ advice and agreed that he was full of intelligence on relationship matters.

However, I disagreed. In reading some of what he had posted and the comments in response, I was disturbed. For, first of all, this man was someone that had ‘professed’ to know Jesus Christ and therefore was ‘supposed’ to be a Christian. Yet, nowhere in his advice, some of which were detailed and amounted to lines and lines and lines of stuff, did he ever see the need to give counsel from the Word of God. Nowhere did he see the need to cite a verse from the Bible that could provide an answer to an issue. Nowhere!

I came to a conclusion as to whether this man was saved or not but I will not mention it here. Suffice it to say, that the Word of God tells us that by the fruits of people, you will know who they are and to whom they belong.

The Word of God makes it abundantly clear in Matthew 7:13-20:

  • “…wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”

It is impossible for me to believe that a person could be a genuine believer of Jesus Christ, see that he has a large platform of Facebook followers and never see the opportunity to once point people (most of whom he knows are unsaved and therefore still in their sins and destined for hell unless they come to know Jesus as Lord and Saviour) to the solution of all solutions, which is Jesus Christ. This is negligence to the highest level! For every true Christian knows that salvation is the necessary foundation and need of all men as their souls lie in jeopardy, yet here was a man that never once saw the need to use his platform to reach souls by presenting the gospel.

Also, you cannot convince me that a person could be genuinely saved and never feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit to reference scripture in the advice he gives and to ensure that the advice he gives lines up with the authority of the Word.

This man had clearly positioned himself as the authority and therefore completely disregarded the Word. He was therefore not helping the cause of Christ by advancing truth but damaging it.

Of course, when a man advances his own ideas, much of it may sound good to the ear and look pleasant to the eyes but when you compare what is being advised and said with God’s Word, it exposes such advice for what it is: FOLLY. It is of little or no significance.

I could not believe some of the nonsense that this man had written, the crudeness in which he wrote at times and the support he was getting almost daily, even by people who should know better. The nonsense that this man was posting, calling it ‘relationship advice’, reminded me that there is a place in this dark, deluded and blind world, for God’s children to use what God has given them, to reach people with the truth.

There was a time when, although I was equipped with the truth and God-given wisdom on how it was to be applied to situations, I did not feel capable enough to advise people on relationships and other issues in their lives. Yet, I had God’s truth and every Christian who has embraced and believes God’s truth is qualified to counsel others on relationships and otherwise. Furthermore, if God calls you to that particular work, then there is a need for you in that regard.

Ironically, I had the truth but was feeling shy and insecure about proclaiming it and doubting myself, yet this man, which was full of his own ideas, lies and completely devoid of God’s wisdom was busy, brazenly and non-apologetically, spreading his garbage on social media, so as to buttress himself as some kind of expert on these matters.

It reminded me that as Believers, while we feel that we are not good enough, wise enough or brave enough to do God’s work, the enemy is relentlessly recruiting his troops and sending them forward to deceive people, lead them astray and down the path of destruction.

The truth of the matter is that any so-called Consultation or Relationship Expert that does not consult the Word of God, guide you to the Word of God and give you advice based on the Word of God is a complete waste of time.

Such counsel is man-based and completely devoid of wisdom. You are being counseled based on that person’s own ideas or a set of man-made systems and theories and not necessarily fact. Fact and truth are found in the Word of God and so, no matter who the so-called Consultant is, if he is advancing his own ‘wisdom’ and not the Lord’s, it may sound nice and seem practical but he is feeding you a pack of nonsense.

If you want proper counsel, have someone tell you what the Word of God says and what principles can be derived from it to help you in your situation. Better yet, spend time reading the Word of God yourself. It has all of the answers to all of life’s problems, not man.

People who tend to give relationship advice based on their own ideas and to advance their own popularity, without giving any advice or minimal advice based on the Word, tend to have a large following, of people who the Word of God describes as having ‘itching ears’. This means that they flock to the Consultants and so-called Relationship Experts who completely disregard THE BOOK OF WISDOM WHICH IS THE WORD OF GOD because they cannot endure sound doctrine. In other words, the truth offends them, they can’t take it, it is too much for them to bear, so they go to the persons that can tell them what they want to hear, something that sounds nice and fun and to persons who can give them advice based on their own opinions, not necessarily according to proven and tested truth from the Word of God, the Bible.

In 2 Timothy 4:2-4, Paul told Timothy to:

  • “Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having ITCHING EARS; And they shall TURN AWAY THEIR EARS FROM THE TRUTH, and shall be TURNED UNTO FABLES.”

The authority of God’s Word the Bible is to be asserted, not ignored, disregarded and avoided, so as to assert one’s own ideas.

To claim that one’s audience is mainly secular people and so they need to be spoken to in their terms is complete hogwash. Secular people need the Word of God more than the Christian. For, they are in a dangerous mess and only Jesus Christ can save them from it. They need to be told the truth and truth is not found in what we think or feel or in our own intelligence but in the Word of God.

This man was therefore ‘claiming’ to be a Christian but in his actions, he was denying Christ! He was counseling people as if Jesus Christ and the Bible did not even exist and had no relevance!

So disgusted was I with this man’s so-called ‘advice’ and the outpouring of support and agreement for what he had posted, without him having based any of it on the Word of God, that I blocked his Page.

I have to guard my entrances and I had seen enough garbage. I refused to look at more. This man was clearly more interested in popularity and positioning himself as some great relationship and marriage expert, than in pointing people to the solution of Jesus Christ and giving them good, truthful, wise counsel, derived from the Word of God.

He may have fooled many but the Word of God that he refuses to use his platform to speak about and to base his advice on, exposes him for what he is. He claims to be under the banner of ‘Christianity’ but from his Facebook Page, it is clear to my mind, that his agenda is not the Lord’s agenda.

(Written on 4th February, 2022)

Dear Reader, if you found the above Article to be interesting, informative, edifying or beneficial, you may also be interested in reading the following under the ‘VIRTUOUS Daughters’ Page:

  • Note 7 – ‘Did I Hear Right? The Lies Of A So-Called Relationship Consultant’

Additionally,under the ‘COURTING OR ENGAGED’ Page:

  • Note 57 – ‘Advice And Information For The Single, Courting Or Engaged Woman’

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